How to crank up your existence

I was walking down the sidewalk this week and I found, like, a million gold coins just sitting there on the sidewalk. I couldn't believe it! I didn't pick them up because I thought the child behind me might enjoy the thrill more.

See what I did there? I incorporated POWER FACTS into that story.

In Reality, that dull plane of existence, I found a dime and left it for the kid. But why write REALITY FACTS when you can write POWER FACTS, not to be confused with ALTERNATIVE FACTS - which are just reality in reverse - or power yoga, power walking or power lawnmowers. POWER FACTS are facts jacked-up.

For example:

• POWER FACT: I am a neurological specialist on the verge of a Nobel Prize after 80 years working in the field. 
• REALITY FACT: I think a lot, ever since I can remember, and my friend said I'm smart, which was a nice thing to say. And I have done lots of thinking in fields and the outdoors in general. 

The better option is a no-brainer.

New old neon coral coat with acid-lime green pants, which I bell-bottomed, and my repaired booties

My friends are all Nobel Prize-winners themselves - which means they are really cool. See? Again, POWER FACTS. In my comments about their outfits on social media I often write:

Fantastic! Love it! 

Awesome! Right on! 

Amazing! Amazeballs! 

Fabulous! So good!

These are REAL POWERFUL FACTS, but they tend to lose their power when they are repeated over and over. I can't help it if you are all Goddesses from Planet 9 (in a good way). It's like if you say the word mansion 20 times in a row it starts to sound like what? Like nothing, like a limp noodle or a marshmallow.

Wouldn't it be so much better, instead of leaving words I could just transport that little thrill I get when I see cool stuff by way of electrodes from my head into your head?

But no, they already have that, it's called drugs, minus the electrodes. My comment in this case would be: This outfit is so great I think you should take a little hit of that drug. No, no, don't do that!!, also because I wouldn't be able to guarantee a positive trip to my response. For example, if your drug is chocolate chip cookies, what good would my compliment be when you can't fit into that amazeballs outfit anymore?

So I guess I'll stick to REAL POWERFUL FACTS in my comments even if they start to read as gibberish.

What I think is happening is like Shepard tones, example below. This is when a sound keeps going up FOREVER. Don't listen to the whole thing, unless of course I've given you a big compliment and you're having a good trip. (?!!)

Every octave higher it goes, another exclamation point goes on. I guess I need to put a lid on it. I wonder if that's where the expression came from?

And while it's good that real facts, real news, keep me grounded, often in a very destabilizing way, I suspect it wouldn't hurt to add a few POWER FACTS, again, not ALTERNATIVE FACTS, just jacked-up facts to make it better.

Various examples:

"'You ripped my pants off,' passenger shouts" How about, "Pants annihilated in space shuttle"? Her pants were presumably destroyed by said ripping and she was in an aircraft (I read the article). Or "Shattered trademark threatens transport". In any case, "Woman needs lawyer stat!"

"Serena Williams's post-baby underwear selfie game is on point" No words.

"Police hit by flying butter knives in booby trapped home" See? This is already a POWER FACT. Someone is onto my Nobel-prize-winning concept. Or not...?

"Don't laugh: A $1,000 iPhone could be a great move for Apple" How about (LMAO) "Handing your retirement fund to Apple would be a great move for them"? 

Well, that's quite a load off my supercomputer genius friggin' mind. ⇦ I leave those words for you to determine: real fact, alternative fact, or power fact. Or, wait! It could be a factoid, which is a whole different creature, an important one that I don't have time to get into now. I've heard they eat noodles and marshmallows.

Emporio Armani suit with toolbox hand bag, dotted blouse, fat tie, and, critically-important fan

I hope you have fun with POWER FACTS this week. I had fun with POWER STYLE.

*Those headlines are all real, gleaned from the real news. These are generally known as unreal real facts. Given recent news, there is too much unreal real news. Time to clothe-up and spread the love around our neighbourhoods.

I'll link something up to Patti at Not Dead Yet Style for Visible Monday and Catherine at Not Dressed as Lamb for #iwillwearwhatilike. See you later, kittehs!