Friday, 18 November 2016

Clothes the colour of porridge

Beige pants. They were on the $5 rack at the thrift shop. The first day I glimpsed them, I walked by - not surprising if you know me. I mean, beige, right? Knit, right? Not my thing.

Later that same day I stumbled across a couple of top blogs that were featuring expensive beige camel pants as a seasonal must-have. Uh-oh.

So the next day I went to the shop and had a closer look. They were still there. Missoni, fully lined, finely made, new condition, perfect fit. Sold. $5.


It happened so fast. What was I thinking!? Beige and on trend? It was like watching myself in a movie, screaming: DON'T GO IN THERE!!

The hand forking over the $5 was not my own: it was an imaginary well-manicured and moisturized hand attached to a calm and expensively-scented woman with a Cartier watch, fine pantyhose hosiery and a luxury handbag with a discreet logo, a woman with a quiet, carpeted walk-in closet the size and grandeur of a church, where matching pristine pieces hang on padded hangers.

Clearly I made a mistake. I suddenly started to feel like the next photo. Reminder to self: Never, NEVER go shopping without your morning coffee.


I had considered burying these pants (not à la Stephen King's "Pet Sematary" - who knows what would rise from the ground!) in a ruffled multicoloured lacy blouse and loud coat. Aah, too easy. Too guilt-free.

In the end, I decided to revel in my beigeness. How about a lovely fitted white blouse with extra long sleeves, my D&G pony heels, my so-soft brown leather belt? That would be nice. I even released my beige caramel wool/cashmere coat from its space bag after two years in lock-up.

But the imagined perfection, on this particular day, left me feeling rankled. Restless. Caged. Trapped in that perfect closet.


So like a little truffle pig I rooted out my combat boots and a corset T from Shelley of Forest City Fashionista. And lucky for me, the coat and pants clashed rather well - the coat a greeny beige and the pants a pinky beige. The idea of neutrals in conflict appealed. Then I added three belts and tower hair. My groove had been restored. Kind of. Inside I was wearing polka-dots, almost.

So that's me in beige. I walked with a swagger with my hands jammed in my pockets and wore my squinty Emporio Armani sunglasses, to bring a slightly darker tone to the look. And I clomped - that's what these boots do best.


These pants make me think of that Marianne Faithful song, "The Ballad of Lucy Jordan," here. Lucy is a suburban housewife ready to hurl herself from the rooftop because she realizes that at the age of 37(!) she'll never ride through the streets of Paris in a sports car. Heavy stuff. 

Well, I'm 54 and I still see myself tearing all over the place in a little sports car (well, because I have one, in yellow) - but not in beige clothes. Beige is calm, tidy, so non-freaked out. It's a porridge colour that doesn't suit me. I'd rather wear $20 tattered pants that look like all hell broke loose.


You can see how beige distorts me. Well, technically it's the T-shirt, but you know what I mean.

And that's my report. I got a haircut last night - hurray! A post on that will have to wait. See? It's an exciting life over here.

I guess I'll probably link something up later too. Maybe I'll edit this post too. Who knows?

Edit: I'm linking up to Patti at Not Dead Yet Style for Visible Monday, of course.
And I'm pretty sure I'll link up to Catherine at #iwillwearwhatilike at Not Dressed as Lamb when the time comes.



63 comments:

  1. I love that you were still wearing your polkadots on the inside. Like a colourful secret.

    This is a great story about the beige that overtook your life for a few short moments.

    I was shopping a few weeks back and also bought a beige a-line polyester knee length skirt from the 70's. I kept telling myself, "But it's BEIGE!!!" In the end though I was buying it to sell so it didn't matter.

    bisous
    Suzanne

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    1. I tried very hard to visualize something exciting inside. I hope you sold that skirt already.

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  2. Yeah, beige can be something to fear...but it's not poor beige's fault !!
    Honestly.

    Poor beige has been hijacked by certain stores and sold to people who have given up on fashion (and therefore life).
    Poor beige has been abused.
    I'm glad to see that you have taken this classic shade and given it some CPR.
    It's beige on acid.
    Pimped up beige.
    Could you resuscitate other shades?
    I fear lilac.....just saying :oP
    XXX
    Samantha
    P.S.....Being Scottish I LOVE porridge. Made with water and topped with cream.

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    1. Oooh, lilac, that would be a super challenge! Hahaha. I LOVE porridge as well, with half a banana on top. I don't mind beige when it's not on my body. I have seen some very sophisticated, sleek looks in beige/caramel, you know, with gold jewellery, ivory cashmere sweaters, etc. I guess when you give up on style every colour can look drab. Thanks for this comment, Samantha.

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  3. You kill me with all of these great vintage finds. And you always look great in them too. Bravo. Very inspiring.

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  4. Decidedly, beige pants are NOT you. Thankfully, I can comment that way because I know you won't get your undies in a bunch over a perceived critique.

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    1. Rest assured, they are unbunched. Heh. I succumbed to quality and price and influence - the evil triad. Baaad, verrry bad.

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  6. Honey child, you could make blah beige look like rocking red in the blink of an eyelid, and I'm not saying it just cos. I think this is one of those moments when the rainbow unicorn inside of you was rebelling and rioting while you tried something out of character, just for the hell of it. I kinda like it. It's not very you but then again, the fun with playing dress up is playing dress up. And taking on different personas and characters, and then being able to shrug it all off, and revert to neon polka dots when the role is over and done with.

    You'll always be a rockstar in my eyes, beige, greige or whatever. Besides, that glorious troll hair (I love trolls, the movie, the dolls, so this is a very badass compliment) means you'd never ever be a wallflower.

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    1. Holy cow, I love the reference to troll hair! That's is the BEST! I had never thought of that one.
      You get me. It IS dressup. It's like playing, challenging, yes. I tried to infuse these pants with my character - I enjoy testing the limits. I think I found it here. Heh. I was glad to take off this outfit. I similarly enjoy seeing you play, Sheela.

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  7. You are hilarious and made my day. We do lead rich inner lives!

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    1. Bonjour, Martha. Oh, your comment made my day. The trick is bringing the inner to the outer without freaking everyone out.

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  8. I have to say though, I love the frisson created by the clash between the punkness of the tee and boots with those oh-so-la-dee-dah beige pants. You defy categorization! F- em! But they'd look good with all of those purty polka dots too....maybe a little customization is in order?

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    1. Punkization was the least I could do. What else could I do with this really? I do get in moods where I could have done it all proper and calm and sleek, but not that day, no fricking way. Yeah, when I saw those dots I thought, WOW, I like that. That's an idea. Thanks for this!

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  9. Life is too short to wear BEIGE!

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    1. Yeah, methinks you are right. Heh.

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  10. who thought that BEIGE makes for such a fabulous post!!!!
    mel - you are a genius!!! <3
    i have a soft spot for beige - because it has such a bad rap. but it don´t suit me well too. beige knit pants of cause are the mount everest of beige clothes!!!
    happy weekend!! xxxxxx

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    1. The challenge was almost insurmountable, Beate, as you can imagine!! I'm surprised I didn't cut holes in these pants. But oh, I get so weak when I see fine quality. The colour itself does me no favours. And it's a rare day when the colour actually matches my mood. I'll keep them for just-in-case. Hugs.

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  11. I love how you pimped up the beige with that fab T-shirt (gosh that T-shirt is really very fab). But beige near your face is only nice on olive skinned people. I still think it washes you out. The outfit itaeld is brilliant. Only is doesn't do you any favours. And clothes are supposed to give you center stage. Right? Your first instinct to combine the trousers with lots of colour is a good one. Trust your instincts. And no that is not too easy. You will come up with a different angle, no problem.
    Missoni trousers wow, that is quality. And indeed they fit like a glove.
    Greetje

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    1. Exactly my thinking about it doing me no favours. I've seen beige look amazing on very fair people too. But not me. Yes, my instinct was right about drowning the beige, but I challenged myself to see if I could come up with something notable without the assistance of colour. Win some, lose some. Heh. The quality of these pants is truly outstanding. They feel expensive and lovely. I won't throw them out quite yet. Hugs.

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  12. Celebrate your beigeness:))) love that word and your take on it. Yes its calm and a color that remains in the background to let its wearer's personality shine ...so it requires a very strong character and lots of courage to conquer beige...on the downside is that it doesn't suit me either...xo Sabina

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    1. I tried, I really tried. But I didn't quite reach the success I was hoping for here. I hate it when my clothes defeat me!!! But I had fun with the photos at least, and writing this. xo

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  13. When you decide to re-gift the beige stuff, I hope you keep the corset tee and boots - my favourite parts! I haunt Army & Navy Surplus stores and have never been able to find a pair of combat boots in my size. ;)

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    1. Are you kidding? I looove that corset tee and the boots. Yeeeah, baby, they're staying put. These boots are by Steve Madden, thrifted for cheap. I hope you have luck and find yourself a pair!! Hugs.

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  14. Hey! I was eating my yummy porridge as I read this post. (With apples and cinnamon and quinoa.) There ain't nothing wrong with oatmeal! On the other hand the beige/camel needs some help. How about some bright red as an alternative to the black and white? Those are lovely quality trousers, BTW. No wonder you couldn't leave them behind, actual colour aside.

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    1. Yum, I do love porridge as well. Banana on top with brown sugar - your way sounds delish. I don't like that colour on my body though. I'm not calm enough. Yes, the quality reeled me in, well, plus the price $5, and the INFLUENCE of other blogs. What was I thinking? Heh. It was fun to put the post together though. Thanks, Louisa.

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  15. Mel

    You're looking fabulous in beige...caramel sounds so much posher doesn't it? The trousers are gorgeous - Missoni, wow! I love the corset t shirt with them and the thing about beige - sorry caramel - is that it can be be the perfect backdrop to other brighter colours. That's a rather lovely jacket, too - even if it is beige...but I dig the spots inside!

    Have a lovely weekend

    Veronica
    vronni60s.blogspot.com

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    1. You're right, caramel is something sweet but beige reminds me of porridge and maybe cooked meats. Absolutely, beige is much better suited to colourful pairings, fruity colours, at least on me. I just wish I had a coat with those humongous dots! I would be so HAPPY then!!!! Hugs.

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  16. Mel, you are too funny. Of COURSE you are colorful polka dots through and through. Though I honestly don't think there is nothing that you can't wear. You were born chic.

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    1. I love those polka dots. That's my favourite part about this post. Sadly, I shall retire these pants for a while. They DEFEATED me!!! Hugs, Connie. xoxo

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  17. those light brown slacks are nice. Much better that khaki.

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    1. Slacks, yes, that's the perfect word for these. Better than pants and slicker than trousers. Hugs to you.

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  18. Well if beige has to be worn it may aswell be with a Corset T!!

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    1. So right, but I guess the point is beige does not have to be worn. Why did I do this? Hahaha! Hugs to you - so jealous you are sailing into warm weather in your garden.

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  19. Missoni, fully lined, finely made - flipped on eBay or consignment to make money for something else.
    Missoni, fully lined, finely made - farked. Beige would make a decent neutral ground for tarry black paint swishes. Also for multi-colour scribbles.

    Just sayin

    Elaine Monkeypaints

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    1. Oh, yeah, you are giving me ideas. Slashes of paint on the pants with huge dots on the coat. YES, that's a look I could rock a bit. Thank you, Elaine von Highness Monkeypaints.

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  20. Trust you to find $5.00 lined Missoni trousers - in beige! - and rock them so well. Me, I would be that dumpy little piece of undigested biscuit in the corner. Despite your rocking them, and with the beige coat, you know as well as I do that the only great things here are your attitude, that tee and the accessories. Death to beige! It is only good for "brown paper packages tied up with string" (I am on a Sound of Music thing right now, hard to explain). I do adore that you tried so hard to suppress your inner polka-dots, but I don't think it's advisable to do for much longer. You might explode.

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    1. Isn't it sad? Such quality, such a price, such a COLOUR!!! GAAA! I did, I did try hard. Hahaha, yes, I would explode. I'm done here - mission not accomplished but I'm A-Okay with that. xox

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  21. You do beige like nobody else! But once every 54 years might be enough for you. I won't declare death to beige because some beiges work for some of the people some of the time. I like to be fair to all colours-they have their place and their moment. One woman looks good in beige, another in neon canteloup. Freedom to be ourselves, freedom to experiment, freedom to go off the rails! It's all good. xoxo

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    1. Yes, Shawna, once every 54 years. Heh. I've had great suggestions here for farking though. You are 100% abso-fecking-lutely right about freedom. Hurray!! I look crap in beige but there are women who rock their beiges with the same confidence I feel in my paisley and plaid. I am so happy we have freedom of choice. Hugs.

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  22. Who else can make beige look rockstar? The corset tee is the redeemer, along with your swagger and shades. I feel a challenge coming on - beige dress as the base and . . . all hell breaking loose elsewhere. xox

    -Patti
    http://notdeadyetstyle.com

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    1. Okay, maybe a pebblestar or sandstar, not quite rockstar. It's those redeemers that I owe for any success at all here. Do you have a beige dress? I would like to see the all-hell-breaking-loose with it!! I had a beige dress but I killed it, it was long ago.

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  23. Wouuu, you're a courageous brave lady, you're wearing beige!! that's really daring!! a challenge!
    However you're wearing your cool sunnies, fab t-shirt and badass booties to fight any dullness!!, you rock!
    besos

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    1. Courageous or foolhardy? Hahaha. The rest is all alive, not so much the pants and coat, except for the dots of course. xoxo

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  24. Brave you, bold you, beige you. I couldn't, but you did and it was ok. Those trousers aren't really run of the mill are they, so don't really conform to the true beigeness of beige. Rock on, queen of all things, even beige x
    Anna
    www.annasislandstyle.com

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    1. I'm recovered from this outfit now. It was a bad dream. Hahaha. No, not that bad. It was fun doing this. I know my limits. One shouldn't have to ball one's fists in one's pockets to compensate for the 'tude missing in one's outfit. Hugs!

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  25. You make beige shine and look absolutely fabulous, with your Melanie additions. But truthfully, you can make any outfit glamorous!

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    1. Judith, you are too kind indeed, but I eat it up! Hahaha! Wearing this was a challenge. You certainly know how much fun it is to play with clothes, even down-play. Weird, right? Hugs.

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  26. A Melanie Make-over for basic beige/caramel/camel! The T shirt does it for me, makes it seem Melanie real...but, nice pants... xx

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    1. Yeah, the pants, they needed reinforcements. I did my best. HUGS.

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  27. I suppose if you are going to wear beige, Missoni Beige is the way to go. I do hope you removed the beige-ness promptly when you got home so as not to be tainted by its inoffensive nothing-ness. I love how you funked it up with the corset T and multiple belts, but it's still rather startling to see you without your usual SLAMBAMPOW of colour.

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    1. Yes, I removed the full taint immediately. Your corset T saved the day here, well, at least kept a pulse. I thought this would be more WHAM. What was I thinking. When I saw how the beiges clashed, I thought, oh man, I'm in serious shite now. Thanks for the partial rescue here. Hugs. xox

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  28. Beige will kill you. Run!!! Fast before it gets to your brain!

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    1. Hahaha - I was infected when I purchased the pants and developed immunity when I wore them. No more fear of infection because I probably won't put them on again, or not at least until I have a relapse. Gaaaa!

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  29. Why am I not seeeing your new posts!??!?! I almost did a double take. BEIGE???!?!?!??!?!?!?!!
    But you make it look good!!!!!!! Love the way you jazzed it up with the spots- ba ahah!!!x

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    1. Okay, you're not seeing my new posts because I am such a slacker, only posting about once a week now. I know. BEIGE?!!! Whaaa?! Cool sophisticate women wear beige, why can't I? Well, it's pretty obvious now. The spots are the best part. Hugs.

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  30. ooo, it's Rockin' Beige Girl. She must be undercover...camelflauged head to toe. Now where will she go from here?

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    1. Samantha was thinking lilac would be a good challenge. Ooooh, not sure I could survive that one. Heh. xoxo!

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  31. This blog post totally made my day. I cannot stop smiling - both the beige - the song lyric reference and the all over style here is just what fashion should be all about!

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    1. Your comment has made me so happy. xo

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  32. ha, ha, ha...I gues that beige is definitely NOT your colour:)
    I do love the tee and how you accessorized with belts, you manage to look like a rock star in beige- and that is not a small thing!

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  33. I'm so sorry I came to this posting so late!
    Our Melanie can't be beaten by a silly little pair of beige pants!?!?
    That they're Missoni and well made just requires you to come up with a special designer level of farkability from yourself. Why wouldn't you want to invest the energy and creativity to bring those boring beige slacks to the memorable level they and you deserve (?)
    How about something colorfully and creatively smashing down each side
    seam???

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