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Sunday 23 November 2014

Who is that masked woman?!

Mask up, my friends!! 
If only one single, solitary post in Bag and a Beret 
were to go viral (hehe), 
I would hope it's this one.

10 Reasons to Wear a Face Mask When You Feel Like Crap
  1. Wearing a mask conceals a red chapped nose.
  2. Wearing a mask provides a shield you can hide behind when you're not feeling your best, like a little face blankie.
  3. Wearing a mask means you don't have to bother with makeup on the bottom half of your face. Men, you don't have to shave.
  4. Wearing a mask can be stylish, sort of, if you customize it (see below).
  5. Wearing a mask masks bad breath so you can eat lots of super-stinky food without worry.
  6. Wearing a mask will help keep your hands away from your nose and mouth, which may reduce the spread of germs on surfaces like doorknobs and stair rails. 
  7. Wearing a mask will free your hands up for other vital tasks such as playing with the remote control or pushing the button for room service or (if you're really sick) blogging.
  8. Wearing a mask will reduce your exposure to new germy airborne bits that might make your condition even more miserable.
  9. Wearing a mask warns others that you are not feeling your best so please be gentle and don't be surprised if you bite their heads off or fall asleep at your desk if that's not something you normally do.
  10. Wearing a mask is cool - it shows you care about the people around you. 
I'm hooking up to Patti's Visible Monday at Not Dead Yet Style because a mask is pretty visible. I've worn all these clothes this week except the mask because I don't, touch wood, have a cold at the moment. See you there. I don't mind at all if you want to swipe the sidebar image.

Also, thank you, Sally of Already Pretty, for the mention in your Lovely Links on Friday. It's a great honour to be included in your eclectic lineup, which also includes a very funny video of west coasters eating Minnesotan food.

[Edit] Aha, I knew I was forgetting something - Sacramento's Share-in-Style: Black and White at Mis Papelicos. And this time I almost fit the theme.

Below explains in part why I put up this post: 
[I posted this then took it down and now I'm posting it again, only because I can.]
Hack hack hack. The whole cafĂ© seemed to peek and wince at Ms. Hacker every time she coughed with violence, except her friend who was oblivious to the direct wet hits on her face. When I realized with mild alarm that I was seated directly downwind and there were no more free tables indoors, I gathered up my coffee and journal with exaggerated calm, like a child in a school fire drill, and relocated to the patio, no big deal – it was only about 5C (41F), and although my coffee was no longer hot, if I sketched faster than usual with grand flourishes the exertions might help keep me warm.

I had just settled in when Ms. Hacker and her friend stumbled outside too. As they brushed past my table, she sniffled and smiled at me. I smiled back – I knew she was suffering. She had a kind face. And then she coughed straight into my naked eyes with gale force. I felt the rush of wind and light spray, which is lovely at the seaside but not as foul weather from her infectious phlegmy inner shores. She didn't even blink; I did, furiously.

Wednesday 12 November 2014

Do I dress to piss them off?

Yes, DEFINITELY, I sometimes dress not to rejoice in the unbearable beauty of a blue sky, fluffy clouds, pwitty flowers, blah, blah...drooling now, belch, fart, but merely to piss people off. YES! Shameful. Sinful! How can I write such blasphemy in a forum that CELEBRATES style? Take this example: If I'm forced to go to Banker Town, I'll violently yank my tutu and orange platforms outta' the closet damned quick for a little Piss Off Therapy. The verklemptitude I feel in that environment, I can't help but want to smack everyone I meet with tulle. Of course this is not about them, it's about me, and of course I don't piss anybody off - I give myself too much credit.

So, as weapons go, a tutu carries as much punch as, well, tulle, but being double-bound, double-loud in my style does makes me feel protected. It's my childish scream into the clockwork street - I AM NOT YOU! DON'T MAKE ME!! And ironically, while I may dress in a flurrious grumble, I usually wind up smiling and having as good a time in Banker Town as I do anywhere else, just don't make me hang out there unless I'm meeting my investment adviser over champers to discuss my new billion-dollar contract. That's sure to bring on quadruple tulle action with new triple-high platforms, mm-hmm.
This is not an outfit of anger. This is just an outfit. Full-on regular. But I feel like a rock and roll photographer with my camera and shoulder-slung bag. I wore this on my inspiration walk. Temperatures are dropping so I broke out the muppet roadkill coat, thrifted. My hair is light violet now too, due to the shampoo I'm using.

"Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with you." 
Stuck In the Middle by Stealers Wheel. I'm the guy eating spaghetti. Groovtastic!!! You gotta' watch. (Actually, I'm stuck in the middle with me.) [Edit: The clip I originally posted has be removed, so I put up this one.

Do you ever start to feel an Invasion of the Body Snatchers moment when you're the odd style out? Do you ever dress to piss someone off? It's stupid of me to do it but the childishness pleases me immensely. I don't have to grow up ever anyway. Have a great week, everyone! Keep on freaking out (in a good way, of course).

I missed Patti's Visible Monday this week at Not Dead Yet Style, but I still see you. And if you haven't yet, check out Linda's incredible styling of the Freakish Yellow Skirt and her photo gallery at Op Shop Mama. Can't. Miss. It. That's all.

PS - Okay, I'm linking up to Share-in-Style: Shoes at Mis Papelicos. You can't see my thrifted crackle leather Miu Miu boots very well in that outfit shot but there are some AWESOME shoes in the YouTube clip.

Sunday 9 November 2014

Yellow Skirt Freak Show Update!!

flOwErS   e x pl o d i n g   spewing
with joy in s'miracle of LIFE
from One to Two TWO
happiest warm clouds & sunSHINE to
ethereal   beauty

Linda at

== teeny little feetsies and fingers curl ==
the fuzzy soft of new wee 
in mama's loving arms.
welcome to the world
G O !   G O  N O W ! ! !

This is new territory for the Travelling Yellow Skirt Freak Show... Despite my best efforts, I feel that Beauty Pageant Moment, which I usually make fun of at every opportunity, when I see Linda in these photos. That's love and joy right there, folks. How cool is it that the skirt was along for part of the ride. Love and hugs to your whole family. How you managed to fit this skirt into your wild ride I'll never know, but I'm glad you did. XO. Linda also includes a mini photo gallery of everyone who has worn the skirt to date.

Monday 3 November 2014

Man pants and hat attack

Fake Flamenco in man pants at the power station.
STARTLED ROOSTER. i'm having such a good hair day with this ruffled mess nesting on my head I'm squawking my way over to Judith at Style Crone for her latest hat fight, i mean hat attack #16. bring it on, birds. too bad I didn't get a good frontal shot. oh well.

next. piling it high and deep. you can't tell one piece from another. all thrifted.
Aya of Couturgatory wore the Turnip Head on her Twitter. Her own head was refusing public appearances that day. Thanks, Aya! Turnip Head has handed in her resignation to go sing in a nightclub. 
too much perfection to comprehend here, hip-slung man pants with sailor/mime front flap. these pants are from Jesus, his monogram is inside the waistband, hand-made, but the number of buttons is troubling because this flap is the only way in and out. very heavy black linen. i'm in a phase-shift to black & white, with colour bombs in between, obviously. my tux blouse, unironed, as were my thoughts today. i wore my black velvet opera coat on top. i would have worn my black olive oyle army boots with this instead of my shiny brown buckle slip-ons if i had the energy to reach the top shelf. all thrifted of course. and dark red lipstick.

Also, if you missed it, check out Skye's Tacky Manifesto on her blog My Kingdom for a Hat. She writes: "I am Fashion's worst and loudest nightmare, because I refuse to flatter my body at the expense of my soul." Well said. 


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