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Tuesday 30 September 2014

Hat Attack 15

The hat. I took this photo in the dark with my flashlight. This fedora always brings out the film noir gangster in me. I also wore it here and a few other places, but I can't find them. I'm linking this up to Judith's Hat Attack #15 at her blog Style Crone.

Also, ArgentGal at Whimsy on a Whim wore the Turnip Head, Zombie Turnip Head Wants to Eat Your Brains!

Sunday 28 September 2014

Silks and sci fi

One of my neighbours was in that movie, Chupacabra vs. The Alamo. A chupacabra is a demonic-looking beast that preys on outdoor animals. The creature sucks all the blood from its victims through surgical-like puncture wounds. Some say the chupacabra is a contemporary legend; others, especially operators of souvenir shops, swear they are real. Whatever the case, they are excellent fodder for a B movie. You can read about chupacabras here

:::: hip-slung silk blouse as skirt, silky golden top, pastel yellow tights, ostrich ankle boots, similar to here ::::
::: the "chupacabra sheriff look" is edited from a photo posted here ::::

I sometimes enjoy a B sci-fi/monster movie, especially if it's raining outside, I have a steaming mug of hot chocolate, and a mountain of pillows and junk food, but I miss the days before computer graphics. No realistic gore/slime fest created in a CG lab compares to my imagination when it comes to freaking myself out, which is why I also prefer books to their film version. Below is one of my favourite sci-fi clips, the running scene starting at 20sec, from Ultra Q, a Japanese offshoot series of Ultraman.
I'll be linking this up to Sacramento's Share-in-Style: Autumn on her blog Mis Papelicos. This outfit counts because it is in a favourite autumnal colour of decay, gold, and it also has blue, the colour of mould on cheese, a decrepit colour snap. Curtise's post featuring outfits in the colours of mould, decay, detritus, and fungus was truly inspiring at The Secondhand Years. I bet you've seen it already; look here if you haven't.

B movies: yay or nay? Seen any notable ones lately, something worthy of a slacker afternoon?
Above is what I wore today, Sunday. The tunic/dress says "Happy" on it. Having a clothing manufacturer factory-stamp "Happy" onto its fabric makes me feel as joyful as having a bank machine tell me to smile. I shall change this writing posthaste to Hoppy or Hippy, anything but Happy. That's just me, even though, thankfully, I don't object to the emotion itself. Everything here is thrifted, except the shoes (ultra discount) and the magic loupe from O. These skinny jeans, made in Dublin, are plaid so I shall link them up to Anne's 52 Pick-me-up: Plaid at Spy Girl.

Patti (Not Dead Yet Style) and Greetje (No Fear of Fashion) have both worn Turnip Head. Hee hee. I like their own heads better, who wouldn't?, but Turnip had a good time.

If you haven't seen Charlie in the Freakish Yellow Skirt, you'd best make tracks to her blog, Fur Earwig. Now that's what I call Happy styling!

Thursday 25 September 2014

Freakish Yellow Skirt Update!!

in a freakish yellow skirt built for FIVE
peddling the JOY of freakishness for ALL
for free, for freedom to be
heeled on pedals
NOT to Heel! To h e a l.
fly-rider on blazing trail
it's the ONE and only

Charlie of

letting loose
petals  f l y
the skirt is travelling on show
G O ! !   G O  N O W ! ! !

The skirt is travelling for real. I don't know how she managed it, but Charlie has put FYS on wheels, not an E1, it's a FYS1. Have a look - you won't be disappointed. Another stunning take on this unusual piece of fabric that creates a flap wherever she goes (in a good way).

Monday 22 September 2014

Borrow the Turnip Head!

If you need a Spare Head,
........................LOOK NO MORE!..................... 
[Edit: New larger Turnip Head offered as well]

If your own head has gone on holiday, leaving your outfit photo in the lurch, your troubles are over!
Turnip Head will be happy to perform your noggin' duties.

Save your choice of image below to your desktop and slap it on your body. eeeasy. The image is png format with a transparent background so it can be integrated into your photo with minimal photo editing. Resize as needed. The small size is, well, small, and LARGE size is, um...
small size
obviously, large size

The head is rather sketchy, but if you require a spare head, no doubt you are also rather sketchy, my friend. Turnip Head may not perform as well as your normal head, but at least she's got ATTITUDE

Please kindly include a credit for Turnip Head with a link/mention, for example, "Spare head courtesy of Melanie at Bag and a Beret." It's much easier to send my heads around the world than clothing. 

If you use Turnip Head, send me an email with the link and I shall list it on this page.
Good luck. Happy head hunting!
  1. Patti at Not Dead Yet Style, Turnip Tete Cecile of Greenwich Village 
  2. Greetje at No Fear of Fashion, Black Linen Dress with Booties
  3. ArgentGal at Whimsy on a Whim, Zombie Turnip Head Wants to Eat Your Brains!
  4. Pao at Project Minima, David Bowie: Fashion Icon, Chicago Museum of Contemporary Art
  5. Aya of Couturgatory wore the Turnip Head in her Twitter photo
  6. Shelley of Forest City Fashionista
This image, based on a work by Banksy, the British grafitti artist, was sent to me by TT, the same man whose comment sparked the Travelling Yellow Skirt Freak Show. This was in fact the first Turnip Head submission I received.

How to:
I just discovered that Pic Monkey has an overlay feature AND there is a tutorial on how to do it HERE. How easy is that?!! I haven't tried it, but I bet you will get great results. Good luck!

Sunday 21 September 2014

A cool colour snap

Stains, tiny holes, and a frightening little rrrip as I reached behind to pull the zipper through the home stretch. Truly, pulling rear zippers and reaching for things are the biggest dangers when wearing fragile vintage pieces; I should have known better... But all these little flaws are the tangible tracks a life lived in this gorgeous maxi, which features an empire waist, a silky pink lining, and a flowing sheer shell with appliqued flowers. Probably once wore to a wedding or Sweet 16 party, I punked it up for day wear with my platform runners and diamond-encrusted meteorite pendant. For such a demure dress, she sure makes a racket with that silk-on-silk swishing.

Below is evidence that I actually wear the clothes I photograph in the garbage atelier, concrete stairwell, and parking garage. My friend Sharron, whom I've featured on my street style blog a couple of times, emailed me this photo she snapped on her phone on the sly as I was leaving the coffee shop. Thanks, Sharron. And maybe you also recognize my partner in style parkour adventures in the background. 

You can see from this photo how the dress billows so sweetly. Some clothes are made to move, others to photograph; this is definitely the former. I had so many compliments, probably a record - the positive energy swirling around these fluttering flowers is undeniable. I'm glad I finally took her for an outing.
thrifted vintage homemade maxi party dress
platform runners
carrying thrifted denim jacket
vintage sunglasses on my head
gifted toolbox hand bag from O
meteorite diamond-encrusted pendant, vintage, gift
magic loupe made by O
spare kitty head from my journal

I realized on my way home that this is the last formal day of summer in this hemisphere (written Sat), which got me thinking about how when autumn hits people suddenly start wearing clothes the colour of detritus, decay, mould, and fungus. During dark months wouldn't it make sense to wear clothes that are bright and cheerful to counteract the negative suction power of dark coldness? Or maybe people can't stand colour in winter because it would be mean, like a taunt from sunnier days. In reality, long ago we probably dressed in colours to match the seasons as camouflage so we wouldn't get knocked off by enemies or hungry beasts. Where I live now, that's not too much of a concern, but the hiding behaviour persists. I like the colours of decay too, but nothing beats the buoyancy of a full-blast colour snap.

I'm linking this outfit up to Patti's Visible Monday at Not Dead Yet Style, her blog. (Whew, I almost forgot to activate the link.) It's the perfect garden party dress. I have pearls, white pointy shoes, and white gloves for this dress, but I like the sweet punk-ass version waaay better. Maybe I'll see you there. Thanks for stopping by Bag and a Beret, my sweets! 

Thursday 18 September 2014

Shopping for olives

A lemon-ice-cream sparkly vintage coat featuring zigzags, bracelet-length sleeves, and soft yellow silky lining. The gold threads are from the lurex family, I believe. Dreamy. The buttons are for show (the missing one is in my pocket); the coat fastens with four small snaps at the top so that the front flaps open once in a while after you've gathered speed. 

Clearly the coat was the star of my outfit today, although my stretchy tuxedo pants and granny shoes held their own fairly well, as did my toolbox hand bag. I felt like I was in a '60s film in the role of a plucky, restless housewife going shopping for olives and gherkins and new white evening gloves, which added peek-a-boo ability and buoyancy to my step under a dark sky. I borrowed the inflated turnip head from a sketch I posted previously, here

This coat illustrates how easy it is to sproing up a basic T-shirt, stretchy pants, and brown orthopedic-looking shoes. But then you already know how these things work. 

I'm waiting to see the results of the Scotland independence voting which closed today. The situation brings back memories of independence referenda in the Province of Quebec. 

Tuesday 16 September 2014

A fauvist pas is no mistake

I'm so relieved I got the memo: only wacky-ass colour allowed after Labour Day. Finally, a fashion rule I can live with - the fauvist pas is the height of seasonal norm-corny. 
I'm glad my camera has stop motion, otherwise I would remain a big blur. Are you arrested by my glow-in-the-dark, freeze-you-in-your-tracks gaze? And no look is complete without a custom teacup carrier, which I made a couple of years ago.

oversized cotton palazzo pants
vintage jersey top with pearl-ish buttons
magic loupe
thrifted D&G shoes
vintage sunglasses
teacup carrier I made from a matryoshka

This morning I specially put on these palazzo pants, which are often mistaken for a skirt, for the Share-in-Style: Skirt or Pants linkup hosted by Sacramento at Mis Papelicos and co-hosted by Susan of Une femme d'un certain ├ógeI'm wearing them backwards, but, really, there's so much fabric and they're already hip-slung large with a slouchy crotch at mid-thigh, who's to know? I liked the pattern of the back-facing waistband better at the front.

And a big THANK YOU! to the Invisible Woman for featuring me in one of her posts alongside some other very cool people. You can see it here

Have any of you seen the Dress Normal ads for Gap? I'm retching. Jean of Dross into Gold first alerted me to them and probably there are conversations about it raging everywhere and I'm the last to know... Thank goodness everyone has their own definition of normal: this post reflects mine. And thank goodness I have the freedom to express my normal every single day, whether in a fauvist pas piece or a seven-piece navy suit. That's all I have to say about that. (not reeeally)

Saturday 13 September 2014

Black and white does not mean grey

This look is muted and, although two-dimensional, a fairly accurate photographic representation of what I looked like today. There's no colour because there is no colour except for my squishy flesh, which, you can imagine, is pinkish. For what it's worth, I'm wearing my thrifted low-rise stretch tuxedo pants with two silky stripes down the outside seam, a thrifted graphic turtleneck, and my pointy-toed, sharp-heeled shoes, which are stretchy, like slippers, oh so comfortable. And my magic loupe from O, of course.

My eye is almost back to normal and I'm wearing contact lenses again, although I'll still wear glasses occasionally because: a) I like them, especially the ones with the nerdy snap-on magnetic sunglasses, and; b) I like peeking over the rim and seeing a fuzzy world when I'm in a noisy environment.

I suspect that the decibel level of the Earth has risen significantly in the past decade or so. Where once people walked silently down a sidewalk, now they talk or shout into an electronic device as they go. Ten people strolling past today carries the decibel weight of 20 people. It's maddening, I tell you!
I took my head from that sketch. I made it last winter when I was wearing my pastel nicotine faux-fur coat.

This is my weekend Hello! 

Sunday 7 September 2014

Contrapuntal Woman

Don't mess with the '50s frock.
This dress is lovely but I'm not feeling it. Can you tell by my facial expression? I thought the hot pink tulle underskirt would help, or maybe the striped tights and striped shoes, but nope. I posted it before here and included a little video clip.
I'm linking this look up with Patti's Visible Monday at Not Dead Yet Style, yesh. I tell ya', her little parties are becoming big dealios - valet parking, catering... I saw a write-up in the Hollywood Reporter recently, with a very flattering shot of Patti on her roof, lip-synching a Miley Cyrus tune. :-)

Do I? Don't I? I've been asking myself for weeks whether I should post this little song/weirdness/video called Contrapuntal Woman. It was inspired by Helga and her partner G, a very cool couple that lives in New Zealand, whom I know through Helga's blog, Helga von Trollop.

Why Helga and G? Well, they have a great band (or two?), fantastic style, and more than a year ago Helga did a post about a punting outing she and G went on. I love the word punting; it's one of those funny words (when you have a juvenile sense of humour like I do) that sounds dangerously close to one of those ghastly words, but is perfectly legit, especially when you're in a punt.

The bar footage is from a favourite old-timey bar I sometimes walk past in a mixed-up neighbourhood of designer shops and safe injection sites. I regret that I didn't at least order a highball the morning I went in, even though I seldom drink.

I tried to make puppets that resemble Helga and G, although I made G's hair too short. Filming was difficult with a flashlight, camera, puppets, and a moving background to juggle at the same time. I didn't make this clip necessarily for you to like; I made it because I thought I'd have fun and learn something, and, guess what? I did. That's all. See you next time.

AND - after a couple more stops, the Freakish Yellow Skirt is coming home for a break. More on that later... Have a stellar week, everyone.

Wednesday 3 September 2014

Freakish Yellow Skirt Update!! and more...

Water over sand, glitter 
in the sun
Tinkling playing
Sure, light wave tracing s t e p s
the Freakish YeLLow Thing breathes a sigh of relief
s t r e t c h i n g   from her flight
catching fresh wind
quiet in her two-hander with

C a r o l y n  of 

R e l a x e d
zesty citrus calmed with cream
top from her hand
G O!   G O   N O W
       Before she slips away...

Thank you, Carolyn, for this Freakish Yellow Skirt interlude. It's been a while since we've seen this joyful yellow garment. Your personal styling with your hand-made top is soothing and steady, a perfect addition to the FYS styling community.The yellow skirt will probably be coming home soon so these last few updates are extra special.

And other news...

I'm linking this up to both Hat Attack 14 with Judith at Style Crone (she's in the latest issue of VOGOFF) and Share-in-Style: Sailor with Sacramento at Mis Papelicos. Thank you both for snapping me into action. You can't see well what I'm wearing but I have on my humongous black linen palazzo pants, striped top, and black jacket, all thrifted. This is my beret's third time in Hat Attack - I love it so much I can't help sharing it over and over. The stripes, hat, and swabby-style pants are my attempt at nautical. Also, new haircut alert. 

Below you'll see that I've had an eye mishap. You should see the other guy! That explains the glasses. The doc says it is a bruise and will disappear in two weeks, one more to go, and now there is a lovely shade of yellow/green setting in. At least there's no pain. I had to greyscale the photo, the way Scorsese had to tone down the red in the scenes of carnage in Taxi Driver to appease the censors. 

And, yesterday it was raining and sunny at the same time and O cleverly thought to look for a rainbow. This is what he found. I noticed that the bank seemed to be sneakily sucking the pot of gold into its building directly. (The stylized red "S" is the logo of Scotiabank, one Canada's behemoth banks.) I know there are lots of dirty deals in banking, but really, grabbing from heaven and fairy tales too? What's next?!

And in case you missed it, the latest VOGOFF magazine, with Curtise of The Secondhand Years on the cover, is out. Don't miss it. There are some amazing women inside, and one man. Click the cover below to see it.

That's all. I've started making my way around again. Heh. Regular programming, if you can call it that, has resumed.

Monday 1 September 2014

VOGOFF Sep 2014 hits newsstands!

I hope you're all fainting with excitement. Yesterday I finished VOGOFF, Fact, Fiction, Fraud, September 2014 issue. I. am. satisfied.

To VOGOFF contributors, thank you for your participation. Your individual submissions are what made this collective work possible. Your talents make my head spin!

I haven't been on the blogger radar for a little while with my time divided between work and putting this together, with bouts of rest and relaxation in between, but since some of you have been popping up on my monitor regularly in the past days during editing, I don't feel too far removed. At over 55 pages, time-wise it's been like putting together about a year's worth of blog posts, but with more laughs. Oh yes. I need to put out another edition with the edits I DIDN't put it. Heh.

So read. Spread the VOGOFF word if you can. Isn't our new cover girl smashing? Thanks, Curtise!

I didn't put this issue on the other VOGOFF website yet. I need to take a breather from technicalities; I might up it later. I have put up a JPG version at the VOGOFF website HERE.

Below is a sidebar image of the magazine. I don't know how to do those automatically-linking downloadable sidebar images without subscribing to another service, so I hope this will do if you are interested. The link to this post will have to be done manually. If you need help, let me know.

That's all. I'll ease back into my normal blogging routine soon. Again, thank you contributors! And I hope that you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed farking around with it. Mwah! 

Issue 1 (test issue)

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