Monday, 14 January 2019

Thwarting crime in a red catsuit

Below I am in my atelier having cocktails with James Bond (the Sean Connery one). I am smiling because he just thanked me for my stellar work at the hidden volcano last week when I thwarted the plans of the bad guys. 

In reply, I winked and said, "You'll have to worker harder if you want to keep up with me, Jim." He smiled back devilishly, tipped his glass, and said, "Perhaps I'll have another." He was drinking wheatgrass, good for the digestion.

"On the rocks, Jim, or neat?" I asked as I sauntered over to the wet bar and popped another carton. "By all means, neat and shaken," he said. It was awkward shaking his green drink after I'd already opened it, but I'm trained for emergencies. I filled a glass and withheld a retch. 


I decided to be dirty and popped a few olives in as well - they were hard to see in the putrid green fluid. And stuck in a bamboo straw because plastic ones are ruining the planet. Finally, on a whim I fished a bag of frozen corn from the freezer where I also keep vodka and old blue jeans.

"Here you go, Jim." He smiled at the bobbing olives. I said, "Next time, be more careful," and dropped the corn on his knee. He winced and saluted.

"Well, I'll leave you to your dirty wheatgrass. I must go. No, don't get up. There's a joystick in the arm there. This chair will take you wherever you want. Mind the wheels under the skirt." And I was off.


I set my hoverboard on High. I had to hurry if I wanted to be on time at city hall to receive the key to the city. That's me below, ready to shake hands with the mayor. The key is ginormous and gold-plated, very unwieldy. In a press scrum after the ceremony I asked the mayor if he could possibly exchange the key for a small fob. My catsuits don't have pockets.

Then I asked, "Where's the door for this key anyway?" "Whaaa...?" the mayor spluttered. His eyes bulged in alarm. "Well, uh, well, I don't know, really." He swiped his sweaty forehead with the palm of his hand. Eeew. "It's got to be around somewhere. It's the key to the city for f#@$'s sake!" He snapped his fingers and was immediately enveloped by consultants in boring suits.

When the mayor turned back to the press, his fists were raised. "Nobody builds a giant door to my city and I don't know about it!" he proclaimed. "I'll get to the bottom of this!" Cameras flashed. The mayor posed. And I knew I had my next big assignment.

I may need help. I hoped Jim hadn't left yet but remembered with relief that I had Johnny English on speed dial. (Johnny English, spoof Brit spy played by Rowan Atkinson, read here.)

And below, on my way home I stopped at the studio to practise my go-go dancing. Of course it is a requisite skill for all international women of action, which is so unfair. Many international male stars just sit around acting like misogynist pigs. 

In fact, I received a dance caution on a previous job, my guest appearance on LOL 40-UP! show, which Sherry Dryja of blog Petite Over 40 and I made. It's on our IGs, here, here, and here. Plus Bloopers, here
Sherry and I had a BLAST!! shooting LOL 40-UP, modeled after the Laugh-In comedy TV series from the '70s. Sherry was in Seattle; I was in Vancouver. But we found a way. It stretched our tolerance of bad jokes and our editing skills. Thanks, Sherry, for coming up with such a freaking fun idea. And thanks to O for his tolerance when our home was blanketed in green screen. The dance clip was made from some green screen takes I made for the show.
I'm wearing my Gordi of Montreal vintage red wool catsuit with rear zip. I always get into trouble when I wear it.

You know what's funny? Although I am a social butterfly, sometimes I feel stuck in the wormy stage, too many feet without enough gorgeous shoes to go around. Slow-moving, hairy, and squishy, particularly in winter. Better than being a mealworm though, which just turns into a beetle.

There was a study which showed no difference between mealworms fed styrofoam for one month and those fed "conventional" food. I'll take the dirty wheatgrass. Who thinks of these experiments? And are they hiring? (That was on Wiki, by the way, but there was a note stating the claim needs a reliable source. Ya think?)

It's a new year since I posted last. I hope you are all well-rested after any holidays you may have had. It's a year for creativity, caring, and humour, you betcha. Big hugs to all of you. Thank you for coming back to Bag and a Beret after this break. I'm very grateful.

I'll be linking up to Patti's Visible Monday at Not Dead Yet Style and Catherine's #iwillwearwhatilike at Not Dressed as Lamb. I may see you there!

Hang on to your hoverboards, everyone! Two-thousand nineteen is going to be quite a ride!

ONE MORE THING!!

If you are in a style rut, my friend Sylvia of 40+ Style will be offering some awesome courses to help you feel fabulous. Click the image for details. For her paid courses I get a commission, but you know I never promote stuff like this unless I think it's absolutely awesome. And it is!!! Hurry!!! The Style Challenge is free and on NOW!

Style Course: 21 Steps to a More Stylish You


Sunday, 23 December 2018

Faux fur dress and leather pants

PEACE FOR ALL OF US!!! YAY!!! That's the grand hope, the dream.

You may note that I have boosted my font. I was so tired of that weeny eeny font. What was I thinking?! Of course that original font setting happened six years ago when I thought reading glasses were an option, not a requirement. Hahaha!! 


I frickin' love this outfit. The dress is courtesy of my friend Shelley, Forest City Fashionista, who has graced this blog many a time for her style, humour, intelligence, and friendship. The dress is faux fur, grey, with a lightning-bolt-type overlay on the front. I call it my Flintstones meets David Bowie meets Lost in Space Dress.


The groovy tights love this shift dress. I hoisted the hem a bit to show you a little psychedelic leg action. Heh. The boots, also groovalicious, I got at Value Village a little while ago, stretch leather, made in Italy, new condition. The earrings are from a great haul I had a couple of years ago at My Sister's Closet eco thrift boutique, proceeds to the Battered Women's Shelter Services.

And next - ta dah!! This is the director's edit of my new video, slightly longer than the IG version.

My new video! 

This was a fun challenge to film with a tripod - just one indoor take and two outside. I didn't have time to fark around because people were walking up and down the sidewalks. 

When I was trying to get up from the bench, a couple of concerned women nearby almost came over to give me a hand. I was impressed because it meant my acting was convincing - I can in fact move in these pants, kind of. Next time, I need a sign that says, "No, it's just tight leather pants. But thanks." 

When I bought these pants they had little rips in the seams by the knees from a former owner who apparently also had navigational difficulties. I put clear tape over them. Fixed!! I'll get around to a proper repair sometime.


Above, the full outfit.

And look, I'm windsurfing! In the stairwell! Seriously, who wants the fuss of annoying wind, water, wetsuits, towels, know-how, and a windsurfing board? This is the only way to do sports.


One final shot with my Partridge Family Baggies, which I also wore last week, and my Jamin Puech bag. Every time I carry this bag I whip it around. I know I should be more reserved with it, seeing as how it's a high fashion brand and all, but who says high fashion can't be whipped about with joy too, right? A good whipping-about of one's clothes is testament to it's joy factor, I say.


That's all for this time. I'll link up with Patti's Visible Monday at Not Dead Yet Style and Catherine at Not Dressed as Lamb for #iwillwearwhatilike.

I raise a toast to everyone. May you feast and be merry. And whether you celebrate a specific holiday or not, the sales on unsold sweets will soon be upon us, and that's definitely something to celebrate. Hurray!

Thanks so much for visiting. Hugs all around.

Saturday, 15 December 2018

Where have your clothes taken you?

I can't believe it - I'm in Europe! Or is it Asia? I can't even remember. Everything is such a whirlwind.


Texas?!

No, no, no. It's France, maybe Italy, both of which are in Europe.

Val of @muse.fondue and @constancesnow on Instagram mused that this is an Italian beatnik look, Daddy O, and that I should be riding my scooter backwards behind a ciggie-smoking boyfriend, then taking a dip in Trevi Fountain. I think I should drive the scooter backwards myself. I'd definitely end up in Trevi Fountain.

Others saw hints of Agent 99, @suzannecarillo, and Jean Seberg, @fcfashionista. Sigh. What would I do without my friends?!



And check it out: I'm so good at posing now that I look almost identical in those two previous photos. It's uncanny.

Now, just so you don't get the wrong impression - I'd never go scootering all over Europe (Asia and the US) with just this one outfit. And my life is not all fun. As you'll see in the next snapshots, there were games involved as well. Who needs yoga!?


Healthy Body - Healthy Mind


I'm not sure if I'm playing rugby or soccer.  Does it matter? The point is to chase a ball, kick, tackle, and run for your life. And throw in some happy dances when you do good, preferably facing the camera. It's almost like social media.

I like the huddles most though (maybe that's in football, details) because while we're all bent over in that loving circle of friendship, I whip out my porta tea set and lace tablecloth for a hot cuppa on the field - so welcome during this cold weather, isn't it? Sometimes I bring cookies too, or Pop Tarts (TM).



I have to thank the brilliant photographers at unsplash.com for sharing these great background shots. Top to bottom: tao-xanh kim, sapan patel, jeremy bishop, marian trizuliak, and quino al.

And Margaret Manning of Sixty and Me fame has opened two articles based on previous interviews I had with her. They are HERE and HERE.

Finally, there I am for realsie below, in the stairwell dressed in used clothing - but damned fine used clothing. "Secondhand" always sounds better than used, but it is what it is.

This turtleneck and these sailor pants are from Talize Thrift in Delta, BC. Talize has a mind-boggling array of unique clothing appropriate for any style adventure. And shopping thrift is one small way I can help ease the burden on our distressed planet.



I've been wearing my hair down a bit more recently. Why not? And doing winged eyes. There are so many unexplored possibilities.


Happy travels, friends! Words of the week are hope and optimism - yeah! Or maybe you'd like to join my football team, the Mel Destroyers, for a huddle and a cuppa?

When it's time, I'll be linking up with Patti at Not Dead Yet Style, Visible Monday, and Catherine at Not Dressed as Lamb, #iwillwearwhatilike. A big thanks to Catherine for including me in her post "Celebrating 9 Fabulous Women Who Wear What They Like."



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