Sunday, 5 June 2016

The crotch grab, and a little movie with Shelley!

"Dang, woman, those saggy-butt, hangy-diaper pants are making me hot!" I swear, can't they come up with something more original than that? Sooo predictable. One thing is for sure: these hot-lovin' hip huggers are certifiably waddle-icious.

I went with the grey wall backdrop for these photos because someone had set up camp over at the blue wall.


The pants were a size too small but such a steal at the consignment shop. Buy? Walk away? Buy? Walk away? I could zip them up, barely, and achieve locomotion like the Tin Man before the lube job, but that ruined the whole saggy I-don't-give-a-feck effect. There was also no way I'd be able to de-grow into them. In the end, I decided they were worth a session of pro-wrestling with my sewing machine.


And ta-dah! Only a few hours and profanities later (have you ever tried to push in a straight pin from the wrong end?) I ended up with these. I added roominess by sewing wide racing stripes down the sides because that's how I roll, roll, not racing, being the operative word - unless I'm grabbing for the last chocolate croissant. I like the orange bits and am pleased with the results. Waddle on! I didn't exp.....Uh oh....

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STOP EVERYTHING. BREAKING NEWS!!!
Video Alert, 24 sec. Watch now.
Oof: Shelley & Mel Meet
Shelley, aka Forest City Fashionista, came to Vancouver recently. 
We had a blast. Choreography by Shelley.
Hahaha!!
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See? My blog is almost like real TV with little commercial breaks. If this were a real emergency you would have been instructed to go eat chips - it's all over anyway. Now back to the outfit. Take it away, Mel!

The pants are "Marni for H&M," although with gold lurex and shiny purple I don't care what brand they are. What more could you want of any pant, besides a drop crotch and hipslung hug? Oh, they're lined too.
I'll link these up to Patti at Visible Monday, Not Dead Yet Style, Catherine at #iwillwearwhatilike at Not Dressed as Lamb, and Anne at 52 Pick-me-up: Black and White/Destiny at SpyGirl.


Of course I'm grabbing my crotch like all the best people do. Okay, like Madonna does, except in Toronto they threatened to arrest her for it. So this is the safe and friendly two-handed, off-side Canadian Crotch Grab, not quite committing to the full grab because 1) I am a polite Canadian, and; 2) as a mere mortal non-superstar I might get arrested. So much drama/one pair of weird pants - just the way I like it.

The top with the huge drapy sleeves is vintage, the neon orange ruffled blouse was thrifted, and the geta-style shoes were retail at big discount. Now enough of my outfit.

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Look - it's more ShelleyForest City Fashionista!! 


In my previous post you saw that she came to Vancouver at the end of May and we played hard! The photo above is Shelley at Bacchus Lounge at the Wedgewood Hotel where we had cocktails (well, I had coffee working up to the hard stuff) and fries during our night of cocktail hopping at luxury hotels - but only because it was raining. (Yeeeah, right.) I've seen Goldie Hawn here in the past. The piano man, directly to the left of Shelley's elbow, was playing all our faves.

On Shelley's final day in the city, we had brunch with Sue, A Colourful Canvas, and Louisa, Damselfly's Delights at Acme Cafe.

Shelley and Sue

There were dogs sitting at the next table, seriously, men wearing dog headgear, and one had a tail. They were good dogs; they didn't howl or bark or self-groom or try to hump our legs, thank goodness. Clearly these men took my previous posts to heart - to live life like a dog. [Edit: Shelley corrected me - they are actually puppies.] 


Louisa above. She spun, dyed, wove, knitted, and sewed every single piece of clothing she was wearing. I can't believe the talent! She grows plants for dye in her garden. The plants in my garden usually just die. Oh wait, I don't have a garden. Her dress was a beautiful shade of soft mint green.

The back of Shelley's robe, which I gave her, and Sue's coat, which she sewed. Sue also designed that amazing applique. WOW!  

And I did a post about the fancy party that Shelley and I attended on Friday, May 27, "Emma Dunlavey CURVE Fine Art Photography Exhibit and VIP Shopping Event" where we did some serious hobnobbing among Dior, Prada, and Moschino at Leone, thanks to an invitation by event impresario Vernard Goud. The writeup is HERE, on my street style blog.


I have so many photos from Shelley's visit, and I'm sure you'll see more of them over at Shelley's blog and Instagram. Louisa has also put up a post on our brunch, HERE.

I know I haven't covered everything, but that's all I can manage at the moment. I miss farking with Shelley!! 


Shelley at the big do. Everyone at the party loved Shelley! Of course.

Tired now. Must go eat chips even though it isn't an emergency, well, yeah, it kind of is.
I wish I had a hat for Judith's Hat Attack! Dang! I'm just trying to stay on top of everything. Easier said than done.

Hope you have a great week, you guys!!

[Edit: Shelley's post on our get-together is HERE.]




55 comments:

  1. Excellent save on the crotchety pants! And thanks again for including me in Shelley's whirlwind tour of Vancouver! It was so lovely to meet her. Definitely the best group of "ladies who lunch". At least we refrained from going to the dogs. Hah!

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    1. Bwahaha - but those dogs were so cute!
      Yes, those crotchety pants were ornery indeed before I took the machine to them. Now they are pure sweet lovin'. I'm so glad Dressew had this excellent trim. Great to see you again, Louisa!

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  2. I've been such a bad blogger as I still have no full post up on my Vancouver adventure so thank you SOOOOO much for you picking up the slack. The video makes me laugh every time I watch it, especially at the end when you can tell we have no idea what we're doing. I wish I could have afforded that rose printed jacket from Leone - it even looked good held up with what I was wearing. That is a lovely shot of Louisa - she is the Queen of Sustainable clothing. I do have to point out that they were "Puppies", not dogs ;)

    The pants! The pants! Those are "MEL" pants for sure, more so with your racing stripes farking. I think we are going to start a surge of popularity in the wearing of drop-crotch pants amongst women of a certain age....or maybe not.

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    1. Um, Shelley, the FIRST thing I saw with the rose jacket? Upper roses would be positioned exactly at the bosom. And then two at the stomach! Still sad that I couldn't be there too. You are having too much fun!

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    2. Hahaha, I never noticed about the blossoming bazooms. That coat is almost the same pattern as the pants I wore the next day. Yes, we did miss having you there!

      Delete
  3. That video is hilarious! You two can shake your bootie!!! I often think of you with comedy music accompanying in my head so thank you for providing me with what is in my head!!
    THE BIG SLEEEEEEEEEEEVES are awesome- I want some!!!! I could not wear those pants, I am totally the wrong shape to get into anything of that shape-seriously, I can't get anything past my Bum and thighs- this is why I mostly wear dresses!!!! BUT they look so good on you!

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    1. I'm so glad you think of comedy music when you think of me, Kezzie, and you such a fine musician, it must be very rich is detail as well. Wonderful! You should have seen us rehearsing - this video was our best take. Hahaha.
      The pants, they are rather tubular. But the sleeves, yes, they are quite divine, perfect for swanning and whatnot. Thanks, Kezzie.

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  4. Crotch-tastic! You're amazing as always, from your "I make them fit ME!" pants to your orange blouse/vest, to your high-larious commentary on the world. And Shelley...eeee! I love the video! You guys are so awesome - so nice to see Louisa and Sue again!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Yes, I FORCED them to fit. They were lined too which complicated things - it's tough sewing really far down the leg with the fabric all bunching up. But I persevered, the cursing helped. Just think what we could have done with THREE in the video, Sheila. Hahaha. Next time.

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  5. Happy people, and your smiles are contagious!
    The video - what a hoot!

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    1. Thanks, Carol. It was the best day - and sunny too.

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  6. Your short film is Oscar worthy! I LOVE IT! Not shouting....just really enthusiastic.

    Seriously impressed with your pants alterations! WELL DONE! Like Louisa and I say...alterations are as challenging or more so than sewing from scratch!

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    1. Oh, please do shout! Especially like Frau Farbissina. Heh.
      Ah, thank you for the sewing compliment, so kind, especially from one with your talent. My seam ripper got a great workout too. Rass'n'frassin.
      Glad to see you at brunch in your gobsmackingly wonderful coat.

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  7. Those pants are FAB and the racing stripes fix is genius (and on trend, dahling!). Oh what fun to get to meet Shelly, Sue and Louisa. Blogger meetups are just the best fun. That video should be nominated for an Oscar in the Short Documentary category.... ;-)

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    1. Yes, I think I can the addition of more and more and more racing stripes in my future. It's a good thing I like stripes. Hahaha!
      I wish you were on the Oscar committee. When are you coming here?!! We must play, or eat eclairs at the very least!

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  8. Jazz hands!
    The safe and friendly two-handed, off-side Canadian Crotch Grab!
    Shelley! Louisa! Sue!

    I must go drink some camomile tea to calm down. Way overexcited.
    Fark on! xxox

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    Replies
    1. Yes, off side!, the ref screams, and sends her to the penalty box. Heh. Even if I hit the bull's eye, it would be air because the crotch is hanging so low. Oh sweet frustration.
      Tea sounds lovely. I shall continue farking, captain.

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  9. Oh my gosh. It is ALL happening up in Vancouver, isn't it? This is like the sisterhood of the baggy crotch pants. Love your video. LLLLOOOOOVVVVEEEE IT!!!!! When are you getting your own tv show? With all your glamorous guest stars! it's already a hit.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Oh, yes, Connie, Vancouver is where it's at. Hahaha!!! Stop laughing, Frau Farbissina screams. Heh. Oh yes, please, a TV show would be grand, especially if there is no audience to FREAK ME OUT! You and Pancake would be my first guests.

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  10. Gorgeous! I LOVE seeing you fabulous women (hi, sue!) get together and as always I laughed my arse off at this post. I love your nice manners, too, Mel. Admirable. xo

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    1. How to laugh your arse off and still not lose weight, is the next book coming out by Miz Bagg. But it can't hold a candle to your books! I'm glad you like my manners. I would never grab my crotch full-on in public. Heh.

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  11. PS The vid put me in mind of In the Night Garden. Which is a good thing... Tombliboos. Yeah. ;-)

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    1. BWAHAHA!! I just watched my first ever Tombliboos video on YouTube. Absolutely charming. I LOVE that this video put you in mind of these sweet characters. That's exactly how we felt.

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    2. BWAHAHA!! I just watched my first ever Tombliboos video on YouTube. Absolutely charming. I LOVE that this video put you in mind of these sweet characters. That's exactly how we felt.

      Delete
  12. Such fun to see Louisa and Sue again. And of course Shelley who looks so happy. Loved the video haha.
    Applause for making these trousers your size. They only improved.great shoes too. I once bought shoes like this, but with every threshold I fell off them. I don't suppose Shelley bought that gorgeous bomber jacket as it looks bloody expensive.
    Greetje

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    1. I agree - the stripes down the sides make the pants much more visually interesting, especially with the touch of orange, as well as right-sized. Bloody expensive, too right! We could have bought lots of lovely things if they lopped off one or two of the digits. Hahaha. This is where thrifting patience pays off. Thanks, Greetje.

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  13. Replies
    1. There's nothing like the waddle effect to feel sexay! Hahaha.

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  14. Great sewing save on those trousers! and, way to go meeting the fabulous Shelley. She's a dream. Thanks for linking up, xox

    -Patti
    http://notdeadyetstyle.com

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    1. I was so happy to finally meet Shelley in real life. Always meetups exceed my expectations. Thanks for your linkup, Patti. You definitely help me keep my blogging from getting totally derailed.

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  15. I just LOVE this video! 24 sec of pure joy!! You all are fantastic women!

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    1. Thank you so much, Natalia! You are so near yet so far. There must be a way to fix that.

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  16. Replies
    1. Yes, we get along well together. Heh.

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  17. Please tell me that someone bought that amazing red rose blouson which Shelley was holding in the last photo? I want it! Another great post Melanie, with a fab commercial break in the middle too, wonderful! I love your Marni low slung breeks, and am in awe of you having the temerity to hack, sew and revitalise them into their new self - they're awesome. I must remember that trick for next time I confounded by miniscule pants. Fab bit of styling too x
    Anna
    www.annasislandstyle.com

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    1. Oh no, about the jacket. I'm sad to say they don't have layaway plans for 50 years when you are already over 50. I'm glad you liked the commercial break so you can run out for snackies. I might try that stripe trick for the blue pants you sent me. Love those! - but they're snug. Thanks, Anna!

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  18. awesomeness!!!!!
    love the racing stripes on your pants! and drool from far over your adventures with shelley and the other ladies!
    xxxxxxx

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    1. I would love to meet you Beate and we could play too. The racing stripes have zodiac signs all over them. Very cool. Great to see you!

      Delete
  19. Hahahahahaha! Loved the video! The people around that area where you were filming must have loved all the free entertainment.

    I'm quite amazed you found a pair of pants that were too small. They must have been sized for a baby alien. You know, the one that is very thin with super long legs and has all the equipment to fill out that baggy bit in the middle. Since this is SFW I won't go into the sordid details. You did a great job adding the racing stripe.

    bisous
    Suzanne

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    1. We had some photos of us huddling together under pink robe and we were giggling awfully loud. That would have given the boys something to think about for sure. Hahaha!!

      Details please! Heh. I swore up a storm doing these. It's hard smushing all the leg fabric under the needle thingy.

      Delete
  20. I LOVE your blog - your vitality, panache, outrageousness, boldness- in fact, everything! Keep it coming!
    Elizabeth.
    https://fabulousageing.blogspot.com.au/

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    1. Elizabeth - wow, thank you for that compliment!! With sincerity I write that. You prepare a post all alone in a room and then, poof, it's out there. Thanks for commenting.

      Delete
  21. I salute you on your sewing machine skills! I have a Marni for H&M skirt that's a bit on the snug side but there's no way on earth I'm attempting to adjust it...I'm hopeless with a sewing machine. I love love love Sue and Shelley's jackets :-)

    Emma xxx
    www.style-splash.com

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    1. Hahaha, my sewing skills?! My husband stays far away when I'm At The Machine. Don't you love that Marni line? The patterns are awesome! Sue and Shelley looked great walking down the sidewalk together. I saw you went to the blogger meetup over there. So jealous! Heh.

      Delete
  22. I've just binged on back posts of yours that I've missed while doing my finals and oh what an immersive delight it has been. Honestly, there is no one, NO ONE who blogs like you, with the mix of art meets style meets satire meets stand up comedy meets performance art meets style installation meets laugh out loud hilarious meets warm meets beautiful meets fucking fabulous. Your blog is a joy.

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    1. Would you mind if I copy all that on my next business card? - the size of a recipe card. Hahaha!! Thanks, Rosalind. If there's no joy, what's the point? I strive to achieve poignant ridiculousness.
      SO EXCITED ABOUT YOUR BOOK!!!

      Delete
  23. Ohhhh I love the video of your and Shelley! Such talent, and the choreography was perfection. And more bloggers to add to the fun, with Sue and Louisa.

    The pants! What can I say. Brilliant, as always!

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    1. Oh, to see you here makes me so happy after all my delinquency everywhere else! The video, I can't tell you how much fun that was. The real life experiences mean so much. And the pants, gold lurex? Done!! Thanks, Judith. Big hug.

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  24. love your new pants, they were totally worth wrestling with the sewing machine...such an awesome outfit, so colourful and just....fabulous!!!!!!!!

    Great to see photos of your friends...and it is good to hear you played hard:)

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    1. It was the kind of afternoon where I felt up to the challenge with pins and needles. I'm glad you like the pants. They feel funny but they are worth it.
      Thank you so much for your comment, Ivana.

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  25. Replies
    1. Hahaha, I would prefer slightly more bag for greater ease of movement, but heck, with gold lurex and purple, I don't mind. Thanks, Samantha. xo

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  26. first, I love your revamped pants. I love even that 'canadian crotch grab', mwahahaha, you rock a dramatic pose!!, and you didn't get arrested! (good news!).
    Second (and definitive!) blogger meetings are the best thing ever!
    besos

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    1. I can't help but wonder what all the people in the highrises around me are thinking when they see me with my tripod. I'm sure there is footage on some comedy YouTube somewhere about desperate middle aged women. Hahaha!!
      Oh yeeeah, meetups can't be beat. One day we'll make it happen, I do hope so.

      Delete
  27. I love your pants, especially with those racing strips, and I am SO doing a Canadian Crotch Grab pose in your honour!!

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