How to pose the RIGHT way. A meetup. And Marie Claire magazine.

There have been lots of posts around lately about blogger fatigue. (See list at the bottom of this post.) To that I say, of course we are sick of blogging, and the reason is clear: simply, we're not doing it right. We're bad posers and we don't wear the right clothes. Fear not - help is on the way!! This week I share with you some excellent posing tips I picked up online.

So yeah, we may hate social media, but it's also our mythical highway to Viral Nirvana - or, in my case, a gravel road shortcut with pot holes, dead-ends, construction, and signs saying "No gas for 10,000 miles," and my favourite, "Treacherous conditions. Does anyone know you are here?" But best not to worry about that. Our GPS says to take the road less travelled and it is never wrong.

WRONG POSE
Below. Oh no, oh no, oh no. I am looking normalish! Bad. This is a prime example of bland, I-can't-believe-I-ate-the-whole-thing-shock, if-I-don't-move-I-will-remember-everything, nothing-going-on-in-there posing. Who wants to see that? I can already hear screamy Frau Farbissina: "NEXT!!!" (She is from the Austin Powers movies, ex. here.)

RIGHT POSE

Get your "squinch" on. I learned about squinching from New York/LA photographer Peter Hurley in his YouTube video, "It's all about the Squinch!" He's great! And he uses exclamation marks. 

He didn't explain it like this, but the trick to a good face is to think about chocolate, plots, and sexy secrets. Think about ways to adapt your leaf-blower into a duster. Think about what's under Fabio's gold lamé shorts. Okay, better not. Think about how fast a train must travel if it leaves point A at 11:00 and needs to arrive at point B at 1:03 if B is 7,031 km away, and will Sarah bring apples?

I know this pose but I always called it something sleuthy or high-noon cowboyie.

Squinching is a squint, but only using your lower lids; your upper lids aren't supposed to move. See? My face is sooo much better now: a face of intrigue, of mystery. It says, yeah, I ate the cheesecake, what are you going to do about it? Viewers will stop and stare, then say, we better get outta here, she's up to no good. Much more fun.

If you go extreme, it can look like you have indigestion, which can happen along that lonely road.

Below I am squinching again. And again, it looks like I've got stuff on my mind: how can I fit in a couple more hours of sleep, that workout really sucked, I have to write another blog post?!

But this photo is not for demonstrating the squinch. It's to show you Hurley's next tip, which he calls, "Hold Your Sub to look slimmer in photographs!" for upper arms. The "Sub" refers to a sub sandwich about 5 feet long. This is really brilliant.

WRONG POSE
Note my upper arms. Simple flesh bags. Nothing wrong with that, but they could be better.

RIGHT POSE
I didn't have any 5-foot subs left in the fridge so I decided to Hold the Broom. Just hold the broom. Okay, frig - I just wanna ride the broom. (It's an old broom and I don't know why it's still in such good condition!?)

Note how my upper arms curve inwards at the top now, looking waaaay more toned than reality. It's the best kind of non-fake fakery. I told you it's a good tip. I think Hurley really meant this pose to be for upper body photography, with the sub off camera, but why limit ourselves? We could all carry our brooms everywhere, look fabulous (at least our arms), stop sweeping our floors (check!), and open a bar called Coven.

In the next photo I am doing dramatic squinching and Holding the Sub Broom. It's like you can read my mind: what do you mean brooms are for sweeping? Are you a doofus?

Hurley has another video called "It's all about the Jaw!" about how to create a defined jaw line, which requires sticking out your neck and chin and putting your forehead forward. In real life it looks ridiculous, but it looks great in photos with young models. When I try it, I get fantastic definition too - of my jowls and string neck.

The amazing photographic 3-D effect of sticking out my neck.

Plus, sticking out a neck with poultry-like tendencies is not a good idea, especially around Thanksgiving. I suspect that doing this pose while standing on my head would be a big help, although I'd have to watch out for bags over (under?) my eyes.

And there you have it. By employing these simple techniques, soon we'll all see tons of traffic on our blogs and sit waving to each other on the backroads to Viral Nirvana. If you get a clean break, be sure to honk as you go by. I'll cluck back.

Stay tuned for Part 2 on how to dress right.

In all seriousness, I love Peter Hurley. He is funny, engaging, and knows how to make people look their best. It's good entertainment and information. Have a look.

AND... A BLOGGER MEETUP!

Carolyn of blog Handmade by Carolyn was in Vancouver from Australia and we local blogger gals rallied. It was like meeting a star! - Carolyn of the handmade clothes, of the handmade shoes, of the handmade boots! Revered sewista of finished seams. She and her husband C had been travelling on the Northwest Coast of Canada and the US and, happy day, they fit in some hours in Vancouver. He took this photo of us.

Left to right: Sveta of blog Sewing Sveta and IG @svetadolsi, Barbara of IG @vancouverbarbara, Sue of blog A Colourful Canvas and IG @acolourfulcanvas, Louisa of blog Damselfly's Delights and IG @damselfly.ca, Carolyn of blog Handmade by Carolyn and IG @handmadebycarolyn, and me.

We played hard in what little time we had, including a trip to some fabric shops and one of my favourite local alleys. I'm putting in this photo below so I have something to link up with Patti's Visible Monday at Not Dead Yet Style and Catherine's #iwillwearwhatilike at Not Dressed as Lamb. More photos are on Carolyn's and Barbara's social media.

It's so cool too that Carolyn was also wearing her loupe from O. We were loupe-de-loupe! See HERE on Barbara's Instagram.

PS During "brunch," we (except Barbara, driving) had grapefruit mimosas and I had bacon and egg porridge with maple syrup, the perfect drink pairing. Interesting.

AND FINALLY,
Some months ago I sent photos to Marie Claire Netherlands for an article they were doing. I was very excited, naturally. And then I heard nothing. I thought they killed the story. Then on Instagram recently, I got a comment from @roosevaels saying she had seen me in there!?

I wrote to MC again and they said, "Yes, so sorry, we forgot to tell you." So I'm in the May print issue of Marie Claire Netherlands, which is happy news. Bwahaha! Along with Sarah Jane Adams @saramaijewels, Lyn Slater of Accidental Icon and @iconaccidental, and Helen Van Winkle of @baddiewinkle. HUGE THANKS to Marie Claire for including me!!!

Because you can't buy the issue now, it's from May, I'm including the piece on me below. In Dutch, I don't know what it says. "She loves smelling stinky running shoes and eating ladybugs!" Don't believe a word of it. (Bacon in my porridge was true, just that one time though.)

EDIT: Greetje of No Fear of Fashion has translated this article. Thank you!

The machine translation said "All that beige and stretch will bump you off." Hahaha. Close.

And that's my report, done. Yippee!! I know, I know, this could have been several posts but I like doing it in one fell swoop. I hope you made it! 

This is not squinching.

And I'm not really done-done - I've been to other great blogger meetups and to an excellent Slow Clothes fashion show, where Vivian, my personal style client, strut the catwalk. She was soooo good, like a younger Vivienne Westwood.

Okay, NOW I'm done!
May your days be filled with hope and good food! Also, I have responded to all your comments from the last several posts. I really enjoyed it. You guys are the BEST!

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The posts about blogger and/or social media fatigue are here:
Suzanne Carillo: Why Bother Writing? Why I Love To Hate Social Media
Samantha at Fake Fabulous: 5 Reasons I Don't Like Social Media
Shelley at Forest City Fashionista: I've Lost The Will To Blog

Styling grey hair, and a blogger meetup

Oh dear, oh dear, I'm levitating again. There's something about orange and pink that defies gravity.

That's a new top from the $5 rack at My Sister's Closet eco thrift boutique - wispy orange chiffon, probably home-made, with open cape-style sleeves that shield my arms from the sun. I adore the people who sewed this and then donated it instead of chucking it. It looks so great with these pants. I'm also wearing my lace-up sandal-shoes with the block heel.

And my neon orange vintage sunglasses; I don't often wear them. My hair also defied gravity today. Speaking of hair...

This week I made a video about how I do my tower hairstyle. Simple. Here it is. I put it in the context of a series called Secrets of the Schtars in case I want to do more. Heh.

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****Secrets of the Schtars!****

Styling Grey Hair: Tower Hair
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I wore lots and lots of makeup because I can - actually I had planned on doing a comedy video but decided at the last minute to do a hair tutorial for my sticking-straight up hair.

I don't go to salons anymore. I don't colour my hair anymore either. For now at least. Luckily, O has a talent with scissors and he cuts my hair at home.

His cuts give me two go-to styles, which I LOVE, worn down like a pixie cut, as seen above in a still from the video. And straight up with tower hair, like below.

I know that a lot of you already do standing-up hair, in a variety of colours too! It's really so much fun. But I enjoy the down look as well, demure, sophisticated, and/or androgynous. I think I have all bases of my personality covered with these two looks.

Let me know in the comments if you have questions. It's pretty straightforward.

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And a blogger meetup!

Last Friday I had the exquisite pleasure of meeting up with Vancouver Barbara, who attended the blogger meet-up in Vancouver last summer, Louisa of Damselfly's Delights and Sue of A Colourful Canvas.

We started out with lunch at the landmark Sylvia Hotel next to English Bay, as seen above, then made our way to Dressew fabric store and Atex Fabrics where we all happily added to our fabric stashes. We topped off the day with a stop at Purebread bakery.

Hats off to the one blogger, who, in her absence, still managed to be the life of the party - Suzanne Carillo. Off and on all afternoon we swore like sailors in her honour, especially in Barbara's car as we careered through Vancouver streets. Feckin' eh.

Everyone looked fantastic and was wearing something they had made or thrifted. In my case, my robe was from Shelley, Forest City Fashionista. But even more impressive was the warmth, humour, intelligence, and talent of these amazing women.

I didn't get many photos of the bunch, which speaks to how much fun we were having, but I did manage to get a few sidewalk shots for my street style blog, here.

Meeting people I've met through blogging in real life, that's the best, like meeting celebrities! I hope you get a chance to have meet-ups too.

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One more photo of my orange outfit for the road.

Also, if you tried to listen to my CBC Radio interview and couldn't, I uploaded a YouTube version of the clip to make it more accessible. It's on this post.

I'm linking up with Patti at Not Dead Yet Style for Visible Monday and Catherine at Not Dressed as Lamb for #iwillwearwhatilike.

Have a great week!

PS: Whew. Last night I was suddenly having quirky layout issues with Blogger! But a dear woman named Meutia posted a coding fix. Wow, I am soooo thankful for these people who share their expertise.

The crotch grab, and a little movie with Shelley!

"Dang, woman, those saggy-butt, hangy-diaper pants are making me hot!" I swear, can't they come up with something more original than that? Sooo predictable. One thing is for sure: these hot-lovin' hip huggers are certifiably waddle-icious.

I went with the grey wall backdrop for these photos because someone had set up camp over at the blue wall.

The pants were a size too small but such a steal at the consignment shop. Buy? Walk away? Buy? Walk away? I could zip them up, barely, and achieve locomotion like the Tin Man before the lube job, but that ruined the whole saggy I-don't-give-a-feck effect. There was also no way I'd be able to de-grow into them. In the end, I decided they were worth a session of pro-wrestling with my sewing machine.

And ta-dah! Only a few hours and profanities later (have you ever tried to push in a straight pin from the wrong end?) I ended up with these. I added roominess by sewing wide racing stripes down the sides because that's how I roll, roll, not racing, being the operative word - unless I'm grabbing for the last chocolate croissant. I like the orange bits and am pleased with the results. Waddle on! I didn't exp.....Uh oh....

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STOP EVERYTHING. BREAKING NEWS!!!

Video Alert, 24 sec. Watch now.

Oof: Shelley & Mel Meet

Shelley, aka Forest City Fashionista, came to Vancouver recently. 
We had a blast. Choreography by Shelley.

Hahaha!!

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See? My blog is almost like real TV with little commercial breaks. If this were a real emergency you would have been instructed to go eat chips - it's all over anyway. Now back to the outfit. Take it away, Mel!

The pants are "Marni for H&M," although with gold lurex and shiny purple I don't care what brand they are. What more could you want of any pant, besides a drop crotch and hipslung hug? Oh, they're lined too.

I'll link these up to Patti at Visible Monday, Not Dead Yet Style, Catherine at #iwillwearwhatilike at Not Dressed as Lamb, and Anne at 52 Pick-me-up: Black and White/Destiny at SpyGirl.

Of course I'm grabbing my crotch like all the best people do. Okay, like Madonna does, except in Toronto they threatened to arrest her for it. So this is the safe and friendly two-handed, off-side Canadian Crotch Grab, not quite committing to the full grab because 1) I am a polite Canadian, and; 2) as a mere mortal non-superstar I might get arrested. So much drama/one pair of weird pants - just the way I like it.

The top with the huge drapy sleeves is vintage, the neon orange ruffled blouse was thrifted, and the geta-style shoes were retail at big discount. Now enough of my outfit.

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Look - it's more Shelley, Forest City Fashionista!! 

In my previous post you saw that she came to Vancouver at the end of May and we played hard! The photo above is Shelley at Bacchus Lounge at the Wedgewood Hotel where we had cocktails (well, I had coffee working up to the hard stuff) and fries during our night of cocktail hopping at luxury hotels - but only because it was raining. (Yeeeah, right.) I've seen Goldie Hawn here in the past. The piano man, directly to the left of Shelley's elbow, was playing all our faves.

On Shelley's final day in the city, we had brunch with Sue, A Colourful Canvas, and Louisa, Damselfly's Delights at Acme Cafe.

Shelley and Sue

There were dogs sitting at the next table, seriously, men wearing dog headgear, and one had a tail. They were good dogs; they didn't howl or bark or self-groom or try to hump our legs, thank goodness. Clearly these men took my previous posts to heart - to live life like a dog. [Edit: Shelley corrected me - they are actually puppies.] 

Louisa above. She spun, dyed, wove, knitted, and sewed every single piece of clothing she was wearing. I can't believe the talent! She grows plants for dye in her garden. The plants in my garden usually just die. Oh wait, I don't have a garden. Her dress was a beautiful shade of soft mint green.

The back of Shelley's robe, which I gave her, and Sue's coat, which she sewed. Sue also designed that amazing applique. WOW!  

And I did a post about the fancy party that Shelley and I attended on Friday, May 27, "Emma Dunlavey CURVE Fine Art Photography Exhibit and VIP Shopping Event" where we did some serious hobnobbing among Dior, Prada, and Moschino at Leone, thanks to an invitation by event impresario Vernard Goud. The writeup is HERE, on my street style blog.

I have so many photos from Shelley's visit, and I'm sure you'll see more of them over at Shelley's blog and Instagram. Louisa has also put up a post on our brunch, HERE.

I know I haven't covered everything, but that's all I can manage at the moment. I miss farking with Shelley!! 

Shelley at the big do. Everyone at the party loved Shelley! Of course.

Tired now. Must go eat chips even though it isn't an emergency, well, yeah, it kind of is.
I wish I had a hat for Judith's Hat Attack! Dang! I'm just trying to stay on top of everything. Easier said than done.

Hope you have a great week, you guys!!

[Edit: Shelley's post on our get-together is HERE.]