Saturday, 8 April 2017

Space bag showdown

Oh yes, everything looks fine, doesn't it - a sunshine-golden top, a lurex dress under that. "Gee-willikers, what a wonderful day, tra-la-la!" But HA! Look closer. What's that partial second "me" on the left side of the frame? This is what happens when you enter the Space Bag Zone, SBZ; Greenwich Mean Time meets Mel's Mean Times, when the mere mention of  Marie Kondo's The Life-changing Magic of Cleaning Up makes me want to gargle with Windex, wear plain dresses hand-sewn by the Dalai Lama - and drink the vegan blue Kool-Aid. 

Frolicking in the alley in the Space Bag Zone (SBZ) a day ago

Switching to SBZ always triggers my seasonal closet affective reorder, where I pod-up my winter duds to make way for the spring-summers. The clothes shown below await sorting and possible transition on E Deck, while the transport ship and crew (that would be me) go through final checks.
  • Vacuum cleaner with mega extension hose-power and reloadable hepa cartridge? Check. 
  • Backup plastic cocoons (aka Ziplock Space Bags - unpaid non-endorsement of love-hate product that has averted global takeovers by my closet)? Check. 
  • Smelling salts? No fecking way. Get real.
  • Chocolate? Check. 
  • Hip flask? Check. 

I told O that if I weren't back in 24-hours to call Scully and Mulder (from the show X-Files). There was no telling what would conspire in the space pod colony deep in the cold, silent bowels of my building.


I descended, wheeling my cute vacuum cleaner defensively in front of me ready to "TAKE THEM OUT!!" When I reached the vault, with a steady hand and steely gaze, I unbolted the door and FLUNG IT OPEN!

!!! !!! !!!

From their plastic-cocooned darkness, my clothing blinked, then leered. Somehow during incubation they had sparked into consciousness! "IT'S ALIVE!!!" is what Gene Wilder screamed in Young Frankenstein. I screamed, "I'M GONNA NEED A BIGGER HOSE!" Suddenly, I felt like I was falling, falling...wearing a fabulous vintage maxi. Yeeeeah!

Those are parts of two of my many huge paintings

Toxic alien vapours quickly dulled all thought, motivation, and action. I'd have to be sure the government doesn't get its hands on this. Think of the chaos! But wait, maybe it already has. That would explain so much! I can see now that the symptoms of toxic alien vapours have been exhibited on my blog before. Don't be alarmed.


Somehow, I don't know how, maybe by drawing strength from a lifetime of make-or-break thrifting, hours later I resurfaced, dazed but still standing. It's a fog what really happened. I just knew from the forensic analysis of chocolate spatter on my face and arms and the empty flask that there had been some nasty business.

Gasping, I told O not to worry, that I was back with my body/mind stats as normal as ever. He rolled his eyes and went back to what he was doing. His stoicism is truly remarkable.

These spanglers on Z Deck tried to escape. Sorry, sorry, Paillette, no one, NO ONE escapes on my watch! I'm still not done down there. Not by far. But I am prepared to fight another day.


Fitting the Space Bag Zone theme, I have decided to share this video.


O scratch-built this robot several years ago based on a beloved Japanese robot in the '60s, Thunderboy, which was licensed from an American model robot called Robot Commando. I made the video - it's one of the very first ones I ever did - but O did the flying saucer. Heh.

And below, something I wore a few days ago - after all, this is also a style blog. Heh. As all of you know well, I am not perfect: "do I look like a frickin' role model?" I wore this black maxi tank dress over a black turtleneck. That's my silky skirt on top of it all. On my feet I wore combat boots. And there's my magic loupe, a gift made by O.


That's all. Whew. This week has been just about me - no meetups, no events, nothing else - although I did update my street style blog, Culture Serf, after running into an incredibly talented sewing friend at the fabric store, Dressew. 

I'll link up to Patti at Not Dead Yet Style for her Visible Monday and Catherine at Not Dressed as Lamb for her linkup, #iwillwearwhatilike. Maybe I'll see you there.

Got any battles stories you'd care to share? Do you do the seasonal wardrobe switcheroo? What aids do you use to get through it?


33 comments:

  1. Just what I needed...a few giggles to brighten up yet another rainy day!

    I'm looking forward to your spring/summer catwalks!

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    1. Spring/summer, but a mere illusion it seems at times. But I'm glad I brightened our rainy day, Sue. Thanks.

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  2. One can do a lot with Marie Kondo. book.One of these days I will get that book.Not for me for my neighbors. If they get inspired to clean their upstairs Just imagine I could use whole floor to put my books, clothes ,sky is the limit. This is the first time I am posting the comment but I am your regular reader.Thanks for a huge amount of joy you brought into my life.

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    1. That book definitely intrigues me. I laughed that you would get it for your neighbours. Thank you so much for commenting! I am hugely happy that you find some joy here, which makes this all worthwhile.

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  3. I'm with Hope and her comment about joy x

    Now that you and Sheila have both done your switcheroo on the clothes front, I can see I've got a huge task in hand too. Will keep you informed.

    Anna x

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    1. I wish you luck on your switcheroo mission. I'm still not done yet - we've had a cold snap and my winter coats must remain on standby for now. Thanks for visiting, Anna! xo

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  4. I was in mid switcheroo when our weather turned cold so the long-sleeved buttoned collared shirts will have to stay for a week or two.

    You are the inspiration and the main reason I miss my fashion posts. I will live vicariously through you!

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    1. Same problem here, the big 'ole switcheroo in the weather! I haven't finished the changeover because of it - it's hard to believe it's April. I never know when I'll need a WINTER COAT for frick's sake. Hahaha. Oh well. Thanks, Tami, for your comment. xo

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  5. The Boss and I are about ready to enter THE WEARHOUSE OF HOT MESS. Our well laid plan the day we planned on moving costume storage was foiled. The box truck we planned on rolling the racks of costumes into was vandalized. The plan changed to "hey, you student there, you have a pick-up, you'er helping now". Two trips turned into many, many, many trips. That was 2-years ago and we still haven't recovered.

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    1. WOW, that nightmare beats mine by a longshot! Congratulations for getting through it. I raise a glass or two to help you along on your recovery. What a "lucky" break to corral a student with a pickup! Hahaha. Thanks for sharing this story.

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  6. The Big Switch! Wish I'd been there for that, and there'd be chocolate on two faces. Why yes, you are absolutely a frickin' role model - I yearn to be a wee creature in your closet, trying on all your clothes while you sleep. Thanks for linking, xox

    -Patti
    http://notdeadyetstyle.com

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    1. Oh yea who enter my clothing stash do so at their own peril. Hahaha. I'm paring, doing a nano-ultra-Konda lite (without the Windex and Kool-aid). At least that's the INTENTION. Pffft. I'm sure more chocolate will help. Thanks for hosting! xo

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  7. Okay...that shot of you with the biiig head and tiny white dress is going to give me nightmares. Seriously. And speaking of nightmares... as an terribly anal, closet-organizing, list-making, fiend... that storage closet of yours IS my worst nightmare. Sigh. I may not be able to close my eyes for a week:)

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    1. Hahaha. Put your fears to rest, dear Susan. I have a spreadsheet which details which clothes are in which numbered bag. Sometimes I go down when I want to pull out a specific garment and know exactly where to find it. So there is order in the chaos. It's just overwhelming the number of bags, and I have to revise the list every time as things come and go. I would be lost without my list!! - for those days when I'VE GOT TO WEAR THAT ORANGE JUMPSUIT! Hahaha.

      Yeah, that big head image, pretty freaky. It was a phase. Thanks for your comment.

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  8. I want a dress by the Dali Lama! And I want to get a doll like the one of you with the big head and nightgown out in the middle of the night scaring people.

    Ah I'm really happy I missed this process, although I wouldn't have minded the chocolate.

    You really are a role model though : P for wayward middle aged tweens everywhere.

    bisous
    Suzanne

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    1. If the Dalai Lama made me a dress, I'd probably fark it. The creepy doll head is creepy, yes. Hahaha. Don't worry, if you want in the process, it's not too late because I'm NOT DONE YET. AAAAAH!!! I like to be a role model for wayward MATs. Heh. Mwah, Suzanne.

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  9. I was in a bikini on Saturday and a bastard thermal vest this morning. I did the switch too early last year and it snowed the day after. This year I'm holding firm and doing it vicariously through you!
    Thanks for the giggles. xxx

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    1. Yup, this weather is WRONG, all WRONG!! Today was 4C (49F). And windy. And rainy. So I can't put away my winter stuff yet. And the forecast is not promising. Pffft. I wish I could live vicariously through myself. ??? At least you got a giggle. My mission is complete. Thanks, Vix. xo

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  10. Welcome back from the closet wars! Battle well fought, madam. You are way more organized than me - spreadsheets?? Hells no, man!

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    1. Well, I may have a list but that doesn't seem to help my organizing all that much. Why? WHY...? I am steeling myself for Part 2 if spring ever gets here. I still need my winter coats out.
      You are the master switcherooner, Sheila. xo

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  11. oh yes, the seasonal wardrobe moving!, I have to go through all that stuff once more (I'll need some chocolate, please!). My wardrobe and lumber room have to interchange their contents, but not totally, and that drives me crazy. And I have a big problema about where to store my shoes and boots.

    The mere mention of Mary Kondo... argh! thanks for putting a smile on my face!!!
    besos

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    1. Yes, this year has been a tricky switch with the lingering cold spring weather. As a result, a lot of my winter stuff is still hanging around. If were hanging out we'd have a chocolate feast and dressup party for sure. Shoes, boots, annoying for storage. I often bag them and hang them from hooks. Hugs to you!

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  12. You are so organized! I wish I was. I only clear away up to the closet doors. Behind those doors... chaos. Changing wardrobes for the current season is always a hassle. One week it is really hot and then all of a sudden temperatures drop again and you need your winter stuff. So I wind up with all seasons out. And there is not enough room for that. The vacuum sucking you do is a very clever idea. I have stolen that idea for spare duvets and such.
    Of the outfits I really like the maxi dress and that silk skirt the way you wear it. That is creativity.
    And no nothing going on in my life. But I am on holiday now for 11 days. Yay. That's good.
    Greetje

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    1. I know, right? Hot, cold, hot, cold. It's so annoying. I have a pile of big air-sucked bags on the floor in front of me as I type this. I'm so tiiiired. And a holiday for you?!!! Yay!! I hope you have a fantastic one, Greetje. Fun, food, shopping, relaxation, and naughtiness. Heh. xoxo

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  13. Melanie, I feel like I have been to space and back. Your paintings are awesome!
    xo
    Lynn

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    1. I think I'm happy I sent you to space and back. Heh. Thanks for the compliment. xo

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  14. I'm with Suzanne - you are an EXCELLENT role model for Middle Aged Tweens, including myself. I have been slowly trading winter garb for Spring stuff and today I cleaned and put away my winter boots, so it better not snow again, I'm just sayin'. I

    The little robot is soooooo CUTE! O creates the most awesome stuff.

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    1. You guys in London have been having stellar weather, haven't you? Although with the occasional snowy punctuation I suppose. Here? Rain rain rain rain rain rain rain, and lately the favourite weather is bright sun with rain at the same time.
      I know - I love that robot too! We made that video originally so O could show his friend. I'd like to make more videos with cool stuff like that. Your characters would work! xo

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  15. Seasonal closet affective reorder has taken a backseat to never-mind-the-sparklies-what-about-the-slightly-shabby-underpinnings syndrome here. It has since been remedied. and my underpinnings are now quite glam. Possibly TMI, sorry

    I'm very impressed that lots of folks here have storage rooms/basements to swap things in and out of - and reassured by the spreadsheet thing. It makes me feel like an mere amateur and minimalist with my under-bed storage boxes.

    My organisational tip is to thank Marie Kondo for her book and advice and then recycle it. Also - layering is your friend - if you've put your winter wardrobe away yet still feel cold - wear lots of thin stuff all at once! Yay!

    Sincerely

    Elaine Monkeypaints (taking notes)

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    1. Ooooh, glam underpinnings - that's something to celebrate! Hahaha. Never TMI on BagnB. Don't get too impressed by the lock-up spreadsheet thing either. I still have to muscle my way to get in and out intact.
      I listened to your advice in my head today as I was doing another packup so I could at least bag my muppet coats which take TONS of closet space.
      Thanks for the tips Madam Monkeypaints! xoxo

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  16. You're so flipping organised!! I need to have a big reshuffle and probably a big throw out in my closet! xx

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  17. I'm liking the sound effects of the robot video! V atmospheric!!

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