Love-hate photos. What is perfection anyway?

I think, if only I could only get that one perfect photo, I'd never have to take another one. The same goes for thrifting and the perfect outfit. Hahaha, there's as much chance of that happening as me becoming a bikini-clad camel jockey in Qatar. Complicating matters is that my "Stunning!" today often turns into "Vile!" tomorrow, and vice versa.

Photos are static and I am not, so the wild swings are normal-ish. In the end, even knowing the impossible odds of nailing perfection, the pursuit keeps me going; I'll never give up. The alternative is ghastly! Maybe I should buy a bikini just in case. Heh.

These look like mug shots. Yes, they border on criminal, but sometimes I like that.

Below are photos you haven't seen, that were loathed or loved or simply bumped in favour of shots I thought I liked more. Unlike most of my photos, I was lucky to have these taken by friends.

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Shelley took this first specimen during a hilarious shoot together when she visited Vancouver last May. I look like a creature. That's why I love it now; that's why I didn't before. 

Here, I've cropped the original, pumped the levels, and added sharpening to make the photo pop. One of the shots I took of Shelley ended up with well over a million views(!) on the blog "Warning: Curves Ahead," under the title, "24 Things Women over 30 Should Wear (whatever the f*ck they want)," here. Cool, right? 

Creature from the Plasma Lagoon. Hungry for flies. Silk blouse from Thorne Garnet.

Then in January, I needed some high-res photos for a magazine PDQ!! A magazine?!! Freak-out time - especially since about a year's worth of my photos were zapped in the Big Crash of 2015 (hard drive). I grabbed the Bat Phone: "Sandra, HEEEELP!!" Luckily, she was able to step in as my photographer. I stuffed a few outfits into garbage bags and we hit the streets running, just like old times when we style parkoured Snakes and Ladders-style around town.

We got this photo at the Four Seasons Hotel, which we love for its elegant decor, napping potential, fine restrooms, and fantastic bar/restaurant Yew, where we often decamp for debriefing like true professionals. The trouble is the relatively dim lighting, which requires photographic CPR. (FYI, I never alter my face, body or clothing.)

Too much posing! I am all tuckered out. Do you think there's room to stretch out on the couch?

I'll call this next photo, "Woman in Fabric." It's almost exactly as it was taken, no farking, and it's loooovely. So why don't I love it? Sheesh, who wants relaxed and happy when you're wearing an Avengers uniform?! If I switched this jumpsuit for jeans, would you even notice? Entirely unacceptable.

The groove factor of a vintage, low-slung belted, siren-red one-piece demands a life of danger, evil headquarters in volcanoes, smudged lipstick on snifters, hovercrafts, the gait of a prowling panther, maybe a pink one. Do you see any of that here? Nunh. This is a bit better.

My face says: Let's go have a picnic in a meadow. My head says: Stop, hand over the secret formula! 

I love this next one: "Next Season's Hottest 'It' Bags." Hahaha. The loud clash of the suit with the garbage bags and the monster truck on my formal farked tux shirt led to this low-watt lightbulb moment. Would the magazine like it? Hahaha. But it fit well in our don't-give-a-feck plan.

Taking photos of grand architecture like this - Sandra did a stellar job of framing - is almost impossible with a tripod on a fairly busy block when you need space between the camera and subject. Sandra, on the other hand, expertly dodged and ducked passersby. And her feedback helped immeasurably; all day we exchanged very productive dialogue: "Hahaha." "Hahaha."

The season's hottest "it" bags put those cheesy expanding handbag infomercials to shame. 

Another Four Seasons photo, farked within an inch of its life - "We have a pulse!" My upcycled outfit is somewhat hectic and the colours/patterns in this setting are a settling la-ti-da complement. In terms of photo farking, I chose a relatively flat effect to enhance the abstraction. If we had proper lighting, I could have achieved this look with less finagling and grain. But I like it like this - would the magazine? Yes, VOGOFF would love it.

Another one that wasn't a contender. But check out those golden arches!

Below, testing the camera settings. This is another magnificent downtown doorway, the Marine Building, with me standing in the way. See all the little marine creatures in the decorative metalwork? Clearly, we started the day off on the right foot. We also switched camera duties once in a while so Sandra could build up her photo stash too. Her Instagram is here.

On my way to fire up another meeting of the Executive Boreds 

And I can't close without including a photo of Sandra. I love this photo and I love what she was wearing too: a kilty skirt thing, inside-out tux jacket, and designer over-the-knee boots. She scouted out this pedestal as a location. So perfect. Dressing the part of a high-fashion art photographer, she was treated as one by everyone who crossed our path.

Ironically, in the end the magazine didn't even choose any of our mad dash-about day photos. !!! They (Marie Claire Brazil) went with one of my old tripod ones, here, which by chance I still had in high-res, squirreled away on cloud storage, safe from the Big Crash.

It's funny but the Crash was really no big deal - who thinks they'll ever need their old blog photos again, right? Gaaaa! But I try now to take original photos in higher res and back up everything regularly for these just-in-case, freak-out situations, although a mad dash-about is always worth a good debriefing afterwards. Hiccup.

I'll link something here up with Patti at Not Dead Yet Style and her famous "Visible Monday," and Catherine at Not Dressed as Lamb and her #iwillwearwhatilike linkup. She's still basking in (and recovering from) her big win. Excellent!!

Our spring has half-sprung. Kind of. I hope you are all 

doing what you do best and loving it!!! xoxo