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Tuesday 3 March 2015

Rainbow of black and white

Coarse fabric and oversized high-waisted pants are an awkward combination; strict measures needed to be taken. Now these vintage pants fit like a dream and the checkered flag in the front crotchal area has become a star. Bingo! The pants are also short, and while I contemplated adding a band of black or gold or red to the hem, I decided that the high-waters effect enhances their retro appeal. I mean, these pants could never look standard anyway. Why bother trying?

I'm also wearing my Frump shoes, so-named for their plain style, but they are favourites nonetheless. They were out of commission for a spell because the leather started tearing horizontally on the sides where the shoe bends. Gorilla glue and leather patches took care of that. The bandages are hard to see in this photo but I folded them over the top and glued them down on the outside and inside. The next day I noticed a dusting of white powder on them. Ah yes, that would be the tiny skin bits that riiipped off my fecking glue-covered fingertips while holding the patches in place. 
I'm linking this up to Sacramento's Share-in-Style, freestyle, at Mis Papelicos. And I'll link up to Anne at Spy Girl for 52 Pick-Me-Up: Dots even though these aren't dots, and to Sheila at Ephemera for Shoe Shine, even though these shoes are more of a glimmer than a full-on shine. 

"A citrus aroma with flavours of apricot, grape, and caramel, and a juicy finish" 

"Oh," you say, "that must be a new wine she's writing about." It's a new whine all right, about my coffee. This is the verbatim description of the "Drip of the Day" coffee from Papua New Guinea that was featured at my coffee shop this morning. I don't know about you, but I don't want fruit in my coffee. I do not want to start my day imagining plump bitter-skinned purple grapes drizzled in caramel sauce. And why would I want "juicy" coffee when I can have juice? That's what citrus is for - juice!

Call me old school, just call me old if you want to, but I want my coffee nutty, coffee-beany - not fruity, not candied (unless it's on the side), and definitely not citrusy. Or floral, which is another blooming coffee trend. Did manufacturers suddenly run out of coffee beans and go, "Hey, I know, why don't we throw in all these flowers and fruits? Nobody will ever know!" - except they broadcast it, except it tastes like crap. (I suppose we're lucky their plants are not next door to sock factories.) I'd rather sip coffee made from beans shat by a kopi luwak than a wet, fruity, floral abomination, although I can't afford that kind of shit. 

When I'm lucky my shop serves up a lovely Italian "Drip of the Day." We're not talking Steve Buscemi, but a more robust Pacino or De Niro, although they'd all probably order espressos or cappuccinos. In this sense, I'm afraid I would be the drip.

But let's get serious - am I to expect "A brussel sprout aroma with flavours of pizza, cheese, and banana, and a sour finish" next week from Iceland? Sure, why not just serve me wet minced bark with a tulip in it and call it day?

Where my Nescafe? Better yet, get me a highball, quick, double juicy.


  1. You are a pattern mixer of high rank!

  2. 1. you could never be a drip
    2. are the pants short or your legs long?
    3.coffe should be warm and nutty and coffee sans any wanky citrus or other fruity overtones!
    4. a cool chick like you in so much black and white, obviously needs a cooker coffee place.

  3. Those pants are fantastic. And very cool match with those shoes. Very clever fixer upper too.

  4. Good choice on the keeping with the high water pants. They're gorgeous! I've worn high waters all my life pretty much so keep with the club I say. I'm with you on the fruity coffee. I'd have to pass that one up.

  5. Ugh - floral, citrus coffee. I'll just have tea then. (Says she as she sips her caramel mocha latte -- that's completely different!)
    Fabulous pants and brilliant shoe patching, xox.

  6. You are the master poet of all exotic designer coffees. Since I don't drink anything but water and martinis (yes I'm a snob like that) I have no idea about coffee other than they are hard to order for someone else when going to Starbucks.

    "I'll have a skinny double foam cinnamon twist sparkle unicorn riding a rainbow espresso to go."

    It's when I step up and order a hot water that spoons drop, all falls silent and people freak the f*** out.

    "She just ordered WHAT?"

    I just read how "flood pants" are all the rage and newest trend. Not surprising since of course you don't follow make them...just like Martha.

    Don't wear that scarf when I'm around. I'm liable to rip it off you neck and run away with it. For realz.


  7. Oh I am so with you on the coffee description thing. I want to be reassured that my coffee will taste of actual coffee, made from actual coffee beans. I'll tolerate descriptions alluding to anything that might reasonably be associated - say, 'chocolate notes' or 'dark caramel finish'. Anything else is just fluff and spangle, and to be snorted at derisively and avoided.
    Your monochrome outfit looks like a film still.

  8. Your vision in black and white made my morning coffee ritual. As did your brilliant essay on the flavors of "that which I cannot live without." I too am old school, and old. Both are fine with me!

    I forgot to mention the scarf. I'm with Suzanne, in that department!

  9. Brilliant outfit, brilliant post, brilliant comments - I'll be tussling with Suzanne and Judith to get hold of that scarf (and it is lovely with black and white).

    You lead the way - we'll all be wearing flood pants and patched shoes while drinking de Niro. Blech to floral coffee - it should be as thick as motor oil and taste like soot. Yum!

  10. This is why I could never work at a Starbucks. I'm sorry, but it is difficult for me not to feel contempt for the "no-foam, half-caf) crowd. AND, believe it or not, my girlfriend found me a blazer version of your coat at our favorite thrift shop and gave it to me on my birthday. Such affinity1

  11. Those pants are so fabulous I didn't even see the shoes!
    I know nothing about coffee except it comes in a jar and you add boiling water to it. The plantation we visited in Coorg sold civet poo coffee for a bastard fortune, it just goes to show that a fool and his money are soon parted. xxx

  12. coffee: black! That is all

    "Hearts and flower run up her ass" hmm, sound like the start of a really bad song.

  13. Black and white are my favorite non-colors ever! You look like a beautiful pen and ink drawing. There is something of the architects ball about this. Let me in on that scarf fight.

  14. haha...yes I know, I are the 'I'd like a ca-ah-fee please' kinda gal!

    The pants are pan-tabulous! You've got the gams to wear them with panache! I think they'd swallow me up though.

  15. Rad pants! Love the juxtaposition of patterns here. <3

    - Anna

  16. Mini rant: So I hate that when you use the pop-up comment option, there is no reply button. When you use the other comment option that allows replies, you have to scroll up to see the post when you comment.

    I'd like to try Suzanne's coffee order. Hahaha. The architect's ball link is great - but I'd be horribly underdressed. I'd like to hear the rest of Ms. Garnet's song too. Heh.

    Your comments are all appreciated. Thanks, everyone!

  17. I can't drink coffee, but I like the smell of a pot of fresh brewed coffee. If I did drink it, I would want it to taste like fresh brewed coffee, no flowers, fruits or perfumes. But that would be boring, the folks at Starbucks would say...

    Those pants ooooze with awesomeness. You can't beat a good black and white graphic pattern. I would wear them for sure! Nice work on the show patch.

  18. I LOVE those trousers, and with the zebra coat, that is one amazing black and white extravanganza!
    No oddly flavoured coffee for me, thanks, just coffee-flavoured coffee will do. xxx

  19. Oooh you've got skillz! Sewing AND leather patching!! Gorgeous b&w. Love it to death. Esp. The racing flag in the crotchal area :-D xo JJ

  20. LOL at the crotchal area's checkered flag! Love the pants - they are enormously pleasureable.

    I was quite spoiled by the Coffee of Italy (much like the Cats of Italy) - the stuff we have over here is garbage, I tell you! I want espresso that goes straight to my brain!

  21. We are in full agreement (again), this time about the coffee. I still take it with milk (what we call coffee milk, what you probably call cream) and (artificial) sugar. A cappuccino made by a proper barista is high on my list. But a normal coffee is OK too. No flavours, no floral, certainly no juice or lemon. Bah.
    As for the trousers... they are indeed a dream. I thought they were a bit high rise too, but you are right don't change them. You are high fashion now with these kind of trousers. They are so 2015 (which will probably put you off haha).
    The coat is extremely lovely too.

  22. Those pants are magnificent! your outfit is magnificent! you are magnificent! top job fixing the shoes, I use pegs when I glue shoe stuff, my kids are ruthless shoe destroyers - the coffee/wine is a new one! I'd have to say no too, I need a full on whack of coffee caffeine in the morning, juicy, floral coffee is wrong! x x x

  23. Now that is truly a FREE STYLE outfit! Glorious pattern mixing, the shapes are so wonderful too! I like your idea of not bothering since the pants will never look standard anyway. It opens your mind, doesn't it? So many possibilities... I experience it with my body - it's not your "standard" fashion type, so why bother trying to present it as such with "flattering" clothes. I think we could go on and on about not bothering in other areas too. :)))

    I had a friend who liked adding a slice of lemon to her black coffee. She did it with such visible enjoyment... I couldn't resist to try it to... but only once! After that, I could resist.

    You are incredibly creative, Melanie! I'm glad that I finally started discovering your many talents. xxx

  24. Melanie this is such a great combination, those pants are amazing.The length is just right for those long legs of yours.
    Coffee should just be that not strange fruity twists.
    I always enjoy your wonderful witty writings.

  25. I prefer my coffee to taste like coffee too...and it better act like coffee and help me think straight.

    You look marvelous. Ingenious mix of patterns while keeping in nicely balanced by remaining in the black and white domain. I especially love the cut of the pants.

  26. Cool britches you have made to fit. And so well ensembled to boot. With patched shoes to perfection. You are a true marvel of making it work. Now if you can get that going with the coffee shop, all will be swell.

  27. I adore pattern-on-pattern especially in black and white - top marks for this combo! Love your attention to detail, even down to the revamped crotch. As for the coffee, couldn't agree more - just serious caffeine that can fell you in one sip.


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