Thrifting tips video! and a problematic gown

A gown I love, but can I wear it? Well, technically, yeah I can, but the design has a puddle hem. Great for cleaning sidewalks. Great for dusting floors. How about I just stick a bunch of Swiffer dusting cloths under it and swan around the house as part of my glam-up-my-life project?

I have no choice but to be carried when I wear this gown. But seriously? No matter how romantic that sounds, being carried is usually not terribly comfortable in real life, especially in a dress with drop shoulders and strapless underthings.

This outfit is like Morticia Addams on Skittles. Too bad my hair fell down.

I took this photo of the dress in the concrete box. So much better here I think.

And then there is the fear of being dropped, hard, awkwardly, or slipping slowly, inexorably out of deceptively muscled arms until I end up with one leg half-dragging/hopping through the dirt. Piggy-back would work but only if I knew my carrier well and had a riding crop and rallying cry. "Onward ho!" Maybe not - why do words change meaning?

The fireman's carry would work, two people with crossed arms, chair style. Oh yes. Yes, that would be splendid, but I'd need to find two people who get along to accomplish that - harder than it sounds. I simply will not act as no man's land between two warring factions with their fists near my buttocks.

Below I practise the safety position.

I could hoist the dress and carry the hem or get someone else to lift my train, but then what's the frigging point, right? You are probably thinking, brides handle these awkward situations all the time - well, heck yeah, it's kind of an inauguration for what's to come in marriage, isn't it?

I could actually give up and walk normal style in the dress and let the hem do its dirty work, but I cannot ignore the increased risk of tripping and falling on my face (which, by the way, I did when Suzanne visited, I was not wounded). And now that my life odometer recently turned over again (the reset is faulty and doing it is perhaps even illegal!) there is the risk of bone breakage.

I would never, ever sit down here. Hahaha!! 

Let's say I do get to my swanky destination clean and unharmed, dignity intact, the clingy nature of the dress means I would still be picking at my garment immediately upon arrival, preferably in the privacy of a bathroom - oh yes, exactly where I want to be (eyes roll), looking almost fabulous next to the toilet. Not only that, I'd be wasting precious trough time at the buffet and bar, assuming the other glitterati hadn't cleaned them out already, not having been detained by a prior summit meeting on the Puddle Hem Situation (PHS).

I am looking forward to advances in remote control helicopters which could safely air-lift me to such events in such hems. All I would need to do is clothespin-shut the bottom of the dress so that gawkers on the ground would not get any free shows or showers because I'd probably be scared out of my wits - which could, now I think about it, also be problematic.

Sigh.

I bought this gown from Talize thrift store - I don't remember, but I think Suzanne pre-picked it for me (she also did that for my fave maxi denim coat). I'm glad it was only $16. If I charged by the word for this blog post, the cost would have dropped considerably already. Hurray! Not a waste of money after all. For those of you muttering "scissors," wash your mouth out with soap.

AND -

As I mentioned in my previous post, I met up with Suzanne Carillo for a day of high tea, thrift shopping, and my first-ever evening at a comedy club, and then a few days later Sue of A Colourful Canvas joined in too for a day of thrift shopping, filming, and dinner that lasted hours and hours, during which time we solved all our problems forever. Yay!

Below is the video I edited together from filming we did at Talize thrift store in Delta, BC, not too far from Vancouver. The story was put together by Suzanne based on her blog post 20 Thrift Shopping Secrets for Quality Treasures. Would you believe we jotted the ideas down on a napkin at the comedy club? Heh. Other shoppers seemed to think we were having too much fun. Indeed we were. You can see this dress in the cart near the end of the video. Heh.

TA DA!! 

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There's more news but I shall spare you. If you've made it this far, you need a gold medal for diving over the finish line. It's busy here. Good.

I'll link up with Patti at Visible Monday, Not Dead Yet Style, and Catherine at #iwillwearwhatilike, Not Dressed as Lamb. For not actually wearing the dress except in the stairwell so far, I certainly got around. Heh.

Hope you are all WELL!!