What to wear for gardening, and AARP!

Oh yeeeeah, baybee, we're raking it in now! We're talkin' the green stuff, all righty. Heh-heh-heh. And I don't mean vegetation - because it's pretty much just mulch. Sigh. Now that I mention it, I'm not really raking at all. Props. They're the best. I'll call this photo "The Rake's Progress - In a Good Way" (The Rake's Progress is the title of paintings by Hogarth and an opera, both with a wretched ending for the rake).

My Vegas Pantsuit, although it's really a jumpsuit, vintage crepe wool (fully lined) and sleeveless, with palazzo pant legs. The slits up the sides are edged with rhinestones diamonds and topped by a sparkly silver embellishment. DIVINE. When I first laid eyes on this beauty, I immediately sensed that the previous owner wore it to Vegas in the day, and WON. I'm still placing my bets hoping the vibes will carry over.

The flutter sleeves are another vintage piece, a top with a stretchy low-cut, nude-coloured body and lovely angel wings, designed to be worn under other pieces, like this Vegas jumpsuit.

And another outfit. This is the most HUUUUGE construction trailer and stairs ever, it's downright Brobdingnagian. (Love that word! Brobdingnag is the name of the island in Gulliver's Travels, where Gulliver is very small.)

That's some good-assery there. (Why must my ass always be bad? - even if it is.) My T-shirt is a DIY that says "I am my own brand." I would revise the statement to "I am NOT a brand" but it's too late now and I like the T-shirt. It's hard to see anything clearly when the photo is this small. Good.

And the pièce de résistance for this post - the video I put together when Suzanne and Sue and I met up recently. Suzanne came up with the story, Sue did all the camerawork, and I did the editing. We filmed this at Talize Delta, that humongous thrift store that we make a special point of hitting together when Suzanne comes to town.

I'll link something up with Patti at Visible Monday at Not Dead Yet Style, here too. I'm feeling more perky this week so I'll need a sassy little drink and Cheesies. See you there!! And I've also linked up to Catherine, #iwillwearwhatilike, at Not Dressed as Lamb.

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THRIFT SHOP FIGHT CLUB

SUZANNE VS MEL

Who will take home the bowling trophy?!

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I have experienced the aisle block, hanger crush, grab 'n' dash, and rack attack many times while thrifting, but I usually don't take my opponent down - I wouldn't want to hurt anyone. But I give a mean side-eye. Heh.

The uncensored hardcore version of this video is playing in the rec room of an anonymous middle-aged woman in the suburbs in Altoona, Pennsylvania. You have to know the secret password to get in and must bring a bottle of Paul Masson wine and Cheesies.

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Aaaand, I was in a piece in AARP (formerly the American Association of Retired Persons) in their section called Disrupt Aging. Hahaha. The snappy writing makes me so happy. The full story is HERE with new photos. Thank you AARP!

Others in there are Dorrie Jacobson of Senior Style Bible, Anita Irlen of Look for the Woman, Lyn Slater of Accidental Icon, Alyson Walsh of That's Not My Age, Sara Jane Adams from her Instagram, Elisa and Lily of Stylelikeu, Judith Boyd of Style Crone, Debra Rapoport of her self-named blog. I'm a fan of all these women. It's a huge honor to be among them.

I had another meetup a couple of days ago. I'll have to put that in my next post! And there is a video to go with it. Heh.

I hope you are all feeling DAZZLING no matter what you're wearing. SPRING SPRING SPRING!!! (at least in this hemisphere). Vancouver is still in rehearsal but I'm sure it will eventually get here. Hugs to all!!!

Thrifting tips video! and a problematic gown

A gown I love, but can I wear it? Well, technically, yeah I can, but the design has a puddle hem. Great for cleaning sidewalks. Great for dusting floors. How about I just stick a bunch of Swiffer dusting cloths under it and swan around the house as part of my glam-up-my-life project?

I have no choice but to be carried when I wear this gown. But seriously? No matter how romantic that sounds, being carried is usually not terribly comfortable in real life, especially in a dress with drop shoulders and strapless underthings.

This outfit is like Morticia Addams on Skittles. Too bad my hair fell down.

I took this photo of the dress in the concrete box. So much better here I think.

And then there is the fear of being dropped, hard, awkwardly, or slipping slowly, inexorably out of deceptively muscled arms until I end up with one leg half-dragging/hopping through the dirt. Piggy-back would work but only if I knew my carrier well and had a riding crop and rallying cry. "Onward ho!" Maybe not - why do words change meaning?

The fireman's carry would work, two people with crossed arms, chair style. Oh yes. Yes, that would be splendid, but I'd need to find two people who get along to accomplish that - harder than it sounds. I simply will not act as no man's land between two warring factions with their fists near my buttocks.

Below I practise the safety position.

I could hoist the dress and carry the hem or get someone else to lift my train, but then what's the frigging point, right? You are probably thinking, brides handle these awkward situations all the time - well, heck yeah, it's kind of an inauguration for what's to come in marriage, isn't it?

I could actually give up and walk normal style in the dress and let the hem do its dirty work, but I cannot ignore the increased risk of tripping and falling on my face (which, by the way, I did when Suzanne visited, I was not wounded). And now that my life odometer recently turned over again (the reset is faulty and doing it is perhaps even illegal!) there is the risk of bone breakage.

I would never, ever sit down here. Hahaha!! 

Let's say I do get to my swanky destination clean and unharmed, dignity intact, the clingy nature of the dress means I would still be picking at my garment immediately upon arrival, preferably in the privacy of a bathroom - oh yes, exactly where I want to be (eyes roll), looking almost fabulous next to the toilet. Not only that, I'd be wasting precious trough time at the buffet and bar, assuming the other glitterati hadn't cleaned them out already, not having been detained by a prior summit meeting on the Puddle Hem Situation (PHS).

I am looking forward to advances in remote control helicopters which could safely air-lift me to such events in such hems. All I would need to do is clothespin-shut the bottom of the dress so that gawkers on the ground would not get any free shows or showers because I'd probably be scared out of my wits - which could, now I think about it, also be problematic.

Sigh.

I bought this gown from Talize thrift store - I don't remember, but I think Suzanne pre-picked it for me (she also did that for my fave maxi denim coat). I'm glad it was only $16. If I charged by the word for this blog post, the cost would have dropped considerably already. Hurray! Not a waste of money after all. For those of you muttering "scissors," wash your mouth out with soap.

AND -

As I mentioned in my previous post, I met up with Suzanne Carillo for a day of high tea, thrift shopping, and my first-ever evening at a comedy club, and then a few days later Sue of A Colourful Canvas joined in too for a day of thrift shopping, filming, and dinner that lasted hours and hours, during which time we solved all our problems forever. Yay!

Below is the video I edited together from filming we did at Talize thrift store in Delta, BC, not too far from Vancouver. The story was put together by Suzanne based on her blog post 20 Thrift Shopping Secrets for Quality Treasures. Would you believe we jotted the ideas down on a napkin at the comedy club? Heh. Other shoppers seemed to think we were having too much fun. Indeed we were. You can see this dress in the cart near the end of the video. Heh.

TA DA!! 

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There's more news but I shall spare you. If you've made it this far, you need a gold medal for diving over the finish line. It's busy here. Good.

I'll link up with Patti at Visible Monday, Not Dead Yet Style, and Catherine at #iwillwearwhatilike, Not Dressed as Lamb. For not actually wearing the dress except in the stairwell so far, I certainly got around. Heh.

Hope you are all WELL!!