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Monday 10 October 2016

My herd of Roombas and greetings from Turnip Head

What a mess. And my maid is still on leave. Has been for a couple of decades now.

So what did I do? What any right-thinking person would do! - I purchased a herd of robotic Roombas (photo below). Over 100 of them now graze in my living room. Each time I wade slowly through the throng I am reminded of that 1973 National Geographic article "One Strange Night on Turtle Beach" - you remember the one. 

Somehow I ended up in my sketch wearing my new vintage men's overcoat and oxford-style shoes. Oh, and that's Turnip Head in the window with her friend, advertising the Big Sale! Hallooo!

It's about all those thousands of baby sea turtles that hatch on the beach and then scramble to the ocean before they're eaten. Except in this case the Roombas are the turtles; I guess that would make me, uh, the ocean. 

They seem to have imprinted me as their mama. Their little eeps and chirps greet me with such joy, with such expectation, like I'm going to vomit up a breakfast of, I don't know, sewing machine oil and dust. 

This is a Roomba, sold by a company called iRobot. They roam and vacuum your floors using remote sensors. Pets are often afraid of them, but some enjoy the ride. A Roomba costs about US$350.

Of course I would not need Roombas if my maid were here! For now my herd is in the east wing, which I'm afraid leaves the west wing, head, breast, thighs, legs, beak and feet terribly neglected in this funky chicken abode. 

Seriously, does my maid think my faux furs dance their way in and out of cold storage by themselves? Who does she think transports my precious jewels to and from the safety security jumbly pile? Who polishes the plastic cutlery? 

Turnip Head again, wearing a silky Asian-inspired jacket I got from Patti (Not Dead Yet Style) during the clothing swap last year at the blogger meetup in Vancouver. I wore that eggplant jacket this week, very "composer" outfit if you ask me, an outfit to flourish in.

It's all too much. Sigh. I need a nap. Maybe I should go feed the Roombas.

Sorry, it was this or nuthin'! Time for the big autumn clean (is there such a thing?). My neighbour has a Roomba and his cats don't even freak out about it anymore. 

A clearer view of the vintage men's overcoat, belted. And a leather money holster thingy around my neck instead of a bag. I wear it like this because it's comfortable and it leaves my hands-free. My hair is half-way to nowhere. 

It's getting darker and darker here. I think I'll soon be forced to install twinkle lights on the underside of my umbrella. Desperate measures.

I'll link something up with Patti at Not Dead Yet Style for Visible Monday because if I don't there will be consequences! I'm so happy that Patti's family made it through Florida's hurricane okay. Whew!

It was Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend too. You don't think chocolate goes on sale tomorrow, do you? Or pumpkin pie? 

Edit: I'm linking my sketch up with Catherine's Saturday Share at Not Dressed as Lamb as well. 


  1. Herd of Roombas, snort! Better feed them before you become their dinner, Mel.

  2. I think all vacuumn cleaners should henceforth be renamed Roombas!

    Love the men's over coat; especially with the leather thingummy over it. Looks like something from one of the current leading fashion houses and the egg plant jacket is gorgeous on you.

    Hope your maid comes back soon...


  3. You look like you are from the future Matrix and your heard of Roombas. At first I thought you were wearing a gun holster around your neck...then I gave my head a shake and said, "You're not in East LA!"

    I'm a big fan of handsfree handbags and I like this idea, although I'd need to keep the contents very slim and lightweight, unlike the time I had to turn my backpack around and carry my pug down the mountain because she was too tired. Yes, I've been a pug sherpa before.

    I've always wanted a Roomba but was simultaneously a bit scared of the idea, the same way I'm scared my husband's electric razor will cut me. Also I think Zoe would go a bit mad with the whole idea. She hates the regular vacuum cleaner already.

    I LOVE the artwork : )


  4. LOVE the sketches, the men's coat and every darn thing. I have a Roomba, I must admit, as the maid is so terribly unreliable (hasn't been here in the 2000's). The cats don't mind it till it evicts them from their lairs. You look fabulous, like the schtar you are. xox


  5. I love it! So chic and practical too (you can stash a whole load of sweaters under here and no one would be any wiser! Always love seeing turnip head. What's her friend's name? What was he selling???

  6. And the robotic vaccuums? Should you get bored of them, send them over here- they'lll find lots of mess on my carpet to hoover up!x

  7. I have wanted a pet Roomba for many years now. What a dream. Hey! Happy Thanksgiving!!!! Is it the same as U.S. Thanksgiving where families come from far and wide to get together to eat and drink too much and remind our sister about the shoes that she wore WITHOUT ASKING and ruined by smashing her fat feet into them? Is it like that? I thought so. And speaking of shoes. Victorian sexy librarian. And behind the shelves sexy raincoat. Gaaaaahhhh, Mel! You just keep getting more and more chic.

  8. Happy Thanksgiving. It's (finally) fall here (thanks hurricane). That means it was 75 and no coats in sight. Think they are all still hiding in a closet

  9. Love this post and this outfit, Melanie. I have only one roomba and he is so shy and hide ander the sofa :)
    Maybee he feels alone ?

  10. Chocolate so rarely goes on sale - what is up with that? I love the coat, but oh, that purple coat makes my heart sing. Wonderful drawing creations! Happy Turkey Day!

  11. its so hard to get good staff! here too.
    love how you wear the mens coat - belted and with brown shoes - yum. and your sketches are brighten this sunless day - then 10. in a row.....
    huge hugs! xxxxxx

  12. I love your planet. I want Roombas too, or a maid. I actually CLEANED my place MYSELF on Sunday, with all the bewilderment of a member of the aristocracy whose staff have been taken up by an alien spaceship.
    We have a cantankerous vacuum cleaner that loves me not and the feeling is mutual. I have always taken this as a sign that it is not meant for me to use. We had an interesting time of it together on Sunday. I would much rather have been in Canadia with you drinking Long Island Iced Teas and feeding the Roombas pate on toast.

  13. Have to admit I know nothing about Roombas, maybe they are called by another name or is it that I am no housekeeper , other than essential stuff. Your mens coat is just so good on you .Enjoyed your skethches, keep them coming.

  14. Halfway through cleaning out the bedroom where my wardrobe lives. I've lost count of the donation bags.

    Do Roombas do the rumba?

    You look very corp goth in that overcoat - love the holster thingie - I rely on small, luridly folksie, cross-body bags. I just dug out a load of BLACK clothes (are they putting goth in the water?). They make a nice counterpoint to my usual tribal (Q. Which tribe wears THAT? A. Mine).

    Hope you get the staffing situation sorted before your fake fur comes to harm


    Elaine Monkeypaints

  15. Comments are great, aren't they? I hadn't got an effin' clue what a Roomba was until I read what everyone else had written.
    You look ace in that chap's mac and as always your illustrations rock. xxx

  16. I think your maid and mine must have gone on a very loooonnng vacation together. If your herd of Roombas start multiplying, please send a male and female over here so I can start my own herd (Git Along, little Roombas!).

    The drawings you've merged with your photos are "Totes Adorbs" (as the kids say). Like the manly overcoat with the leather thingy - I thought the coat had a leather panel on the front at first glance.

  17. Now that I've worked out what one is, I think I want a pet roomba. Do they have a lifespan as long as a turtle though?
    The aubergine coat - VERY Oscar Wilde in creative flow; definitely a coat for sleeve and arm flourishing alongside the artistic flourish.

  18. Love the money holster around the neck thing! Confession - I had to Google "roombas"!! Ha ha , that's what those things are called - nearly died when I saw what you can pay for one! How do you know if they do all the tricky bits like corners, under tables... Thanks for sharing your fabulous art with the amazing coats. xx

  19. That purple jacket is very "steampunk pirate vampire". I am jealous.

  20. My maid has been missing for decades too! But I see that not having a maid does not keep you from looking spectacular in your silky Asian top and the fantastic men's overcoat. Love the addition of the belt. So much to love and laugh about in this post!

  21. We had one one of these robot vacuum cleaners (even more expensive here), But with the cat and the dog and the husband (and his muddy shoes), it seemed like a good investment. Only it kept making love to the thin sliding legs of our chairs. So we had to take up two chairs, a little table and a footstool, put it all up the sofa and then the rooba could do his work. Idiot. So we got rid of it. If we ever have other furniture (never) we will try and get it back from the person we gave it to. (To whom did we give it??)
    Anyway, your coat looks good on you. I prefer it with the little bag in front. Gives it an even more of an arty look.
    As for the purple and cream outfit.. you know I love that. SOOOO chic and creative. I love it.

  22. I think I'd rather have a roving cleaner than a real cleaner. My girlfriend says she has to clean the house before the cleaner comes as she's so ashamed of her dirt. I have dirt, fluff, clean and dirty laundry piles etc, etc and love to blame it all on the fact that I'm now a very busy blogger, haha. I love that fancy purple jacket, you look like a protege in it x

  23. Hey, you've jolted my memory banks. I have a roomba! Now where is it? hmmm. When was it? hmmm. It must be here somewhere, around 20-25 years ago. Well, something to look into it. Do you think it's still alive? horrors. Maybe it's just turned to dust and bones...

    I do like the man coat with leather bib, holster, belt wrap. Can't try that though. Most of my things need to loosen up...hmmm.

  24. You hanging out with turnip head and the little cat critter is so wonderful!!! Have you done this sort of thing before? I just love it. I thought turnip head was you! (Your head has a nice shape and I don't peruse the turnips much. I like her very sincere look. Usually the cats look so friendly but this one looks nasty.
    Your black men outfit is severe but you look snazzy in it.
    I don't think you should let the roombas spend the winter. Hire some roombaboys to drive them to greener carpets in Ontario or Saskatchewan OK?


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