Fifty and Other F-Words: Reflections in the Review Mirror

I occasionally allude to the menopause here on Bag and a Beret - it's hard not to. Mostly I feel majorly ripped off by the whole thing. "Pause" it is not! More like high-speed skidding on hairpin turns in the Alps (not in a good way) with a smile on my face that says I'm on a jolly holiday - "Tra-la, having a grand time!" - just playing my role in what must be the biggest brainwash of all time.

So when Margot Potter asked if I'd like an advance copy of her new book on the Pause and other life challenges, which she called Fifty and Other F-Words: Reflections from the Rearview Mirror, I thought, hell, yeah. I've known her online for years and she always cracks me up. We are the same age and she has pink hair, I mean, really, really pink. Those are Qualifications in my world.

Margot has also been in a rock band, auditioned for real Hollywood TV shows, has regularly appeared on stage and TV locally and nationally, and she was an on-camera shopping channel product expert for 11 years. As you know, I've misted my toes (doesn't qualify as a full-on dip) in some of those waters too, but Margot has plunged full cannonball! And she has authored seven DIY design/craft books and an e-book on personal branding.

So to the book.

The Outside: Excellent bright blue jacket with glittery bits, bubble-gum pink hard cover under it, satisfying heft at 220 pages, published by Sterling Publishing New York. And the colour age-progression shots of Margot on the facing paper are the perfect intro to what's to come.

The Insides: When I sat down to read, I kept turning pages and turning pages until there were none left. It was like a cleansing, invigorating shower, and I sighed with contentment when I was done.

I tagged all the places I laughed out loud or considered vital bits for backup during a harrowing hairpin turn.

Each chapter is a unique riff on an F word - fearless, frazzled, flabby, fashionable, feminist, et cetera - essays, poems, and other wry takes on life, from the highs and lows, to the sideways and side-eyes.

There were many Vulcan mind-meld* moments, like when Margot writes about her life path as a creative. I'm sure many bloggers and artists can relate: a company/buyer says, if you donate this amazing thing to us, we'll reward you, not with money, but something waaaay better - with amazing exposure! She laughs, if you're a knitter, try paying your landlord with yarn. Bwahaha!

I steamed and nodded my head at some of the off-the-cuff remarks she (we all) has fielded as a woman with visible life lines: aren't you a bit long of tooth for that? to be wearing that? to think that? Particularly remarks from men. Ouch. But Margot lobs her ripostes like scoops of ice cream, sweet, sticky, sometimes tooth-crushingly cold, which we catch joyfully in a crunchy sugar cone - decadent, calorie-free. Truly badge-worthy humour.

The top of page 41, bwahahaha! It's in Frazzled. You'll have to get the book. Heh.

Botox, high heels, chiskers, slutty pilgrim costumes, the Cheez-It problem/solution, private investigators, the unmiraculous powers of kale, muffin tops and Bundt cake, it's all in there, with lots of sprinkles and glitter on top, but no kale, definitely no kale.

The take-aways? We are not alone. Any time is a good time for reinvention, but especially after 50. She writes, if Julia Child can do it, so can we! Margot celebrates, cheers, cries, and high-fives us forward, buoyed by everyday magic. I recommend Fifty and Other F-Words: Reflections in a Rearview Mirror. I hope this becomes a bestseller. I do.

Margot's Webpage, FB, YouTube (book trailer) 

IG, The Lady Party (Margot a.k.a. "Madge")

Also, Margot interviewed me as part of her book launch. 

It's HERE, Mel Kobayashi: Fearless Fashion.

*reference to Star Trek sci-fi TV series, a telepathic mind convergence
I was not paid for this review. And Margot didn't give me yarn either. I'm not sure if she knits.

For this shoot at Vancouver Art Gallery, I wore beige tan caramel butterscotch light brown Missoni pants from My Sister's Closet, a striped silk blouse by Scotch and Soda, a felt coat by Yuzhe Studio, and Italian ankle boots from MSC.

The plaza is a very public place to use my tripod, but pffft, I'm such a pro these days. One kind woman stopped and asked if I'd like her to take my photo. Dick was doing a good job (my remote control) so I thanked her and declined. 

Those banners are advertising the Takashi Murakami Exhibit at the gallery, almost over. If you want to see it, you better hurry! Below is Turnip Head in my outfit, reading this book.

I'm linking this outfit up with Visible Monday at Patti's place at Not Dead Yet Style, and #iwillwearwhatilike at Catherine's place at Not Dressed as Lamb. I also linked this up to Catherine's #SaturdayShareLinkUp, where you can share links to any topic. Thanks for that, Catherine.

And thanks for visiting!!

Squash and styrofoam and the ultimate in leisurewear

A colourful silk blouse. Which I love. Thrifted, of course. By Scotch & Soda, a slightly upscale brand from the Netherlands. The original tags were still attached, as well as all the brand's signature chains and metal gewgaws, which I find irksome, but I got it for a steal. I won't tell you how much I paid to spare your feelings. 

I'm standing in the viewing area of my building's squash court. The match I'm watching has apparently made me catatonic - or looking uber-boring fashiony. Heh.

Everything but the pants is thrifted and fine quality. The oversized men's overcoat below is British, vintage wool blend and water resistant. I thrifted the Miu Miu boots for $10 several years ago because the store thought the crackled leather meant they were worn out. The day after I bought them, I saw the exact pair in an editorial ad for Harley Davidson(?) in Vanity Fair magazine. I cut out the ad and hid it someplace so safe I'll never find it again.

The paisley pants are by some mid-tier brand, I forget, purchased at a consignment shop. They are awesome. And there's my "magic loupe" of course, a handmade gift from my partner O, worn daily for years not only as a talisman but also as a quick and easy substitute for reading glasses.

And below, I'm trying to be very cool in the stairwell. Val of Muse Fondue suggested on my IG post that I just need a candy cigarette to make the look complete. I so agree. Or a pink bubblegum cigarette because sometimes when you'd blow on them, powered sugar would puff out the end like real smoke. They probably don't make either anymore; I wonder if they sell candy fatties now.

In my mid-20s I decided to take up smoking for my New Year's resolution. I choked down about two half cigarettes and promptly gave up. I'm so glad I did. I couldn't even hold them in a cool way.

Below is the same outfit but with my shaggy coat and DIY faux fur collar thing. I'm reading in the styrofoam recycling room. Bwahaha - no I'm not. I always do flash photography in there, meaning I take my pictures in pitch black and the flash only lights up for a split second, which would give me time to read one or two words max if I were on a roll. Rather inconvenient.

I needed this book, reading glasses, and stool as props this time in case people came wandering in. What would they think finding me in the styrofoam recycling room not actually doing anything? This way I could say, "I'm reading, what does it look like?!" (And hope they overlook the fact that it's dark and there's a tripod and I could ask them the same question.)

I'm wearing my denim sweat pants, distressed denim on the outside and soft fleeciness on the inside, hip slung with a drop crotch and a sweatband ankle and waistband missing its tie. Thrifted, all thrifted, except my reading glasses, which I bought at the Art Gallery gift store, and my magic loupe.

The book in my hand is called Lady's Maid by Margaret Forster. It is a fictional account of the maid of poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning, single and later as wife of Robert Browning, based on scattered real life records. I've read the book several times and every time I scream in my head, Run! Sadly, my esteem of EBB plunged after this book, although my distaste was no doubt coloured by the conventions of the class structure of the time. I would not recommend this book if you want to maintain your high regard of this poet. But I enjoyed the book in an annoying (but good) way.

I'm linking up to Patti at Visible Monday on her blog Not Dead Yet Style. I'll see you in the garden. I'll be the one trying to look aloof in the reclining lawn chair, getting sloshed on low-salt V8 juice, and smoking bubblegum fatties.

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In other news...
The near-impossible has happened - I was featured in Marie Claire Brazil magazine, their print March issue, along with Sarah Jane Adams, Lyn Slater, Iris Apfel, and Helen Winkle (Binkie Winkle). Ouch, ouch, ouch - that's the sound of me pinching myself. Hahaha! That was an honour, I can tell 'ya (being in the magazine, not pinching myself). If you are reading this MC, thank you! I have a pdf of the article and I'll get a hard copy later this month and share more.

The only reason I was in there was because you guys give me such AMAZING support. I'm not all cool like other mega-stars who rack up this kind of thing all the time; I'm just a woman who wanders around Vancouver trying to grab at the little good things, wearing stuff that makes me happy. So thank you!