An unfiltered life

These pictures are all unfiltered. Yes, it was a miracle - a rare blurry fog rolled in just as I was snapping that first shot. It eerily surrounded me, then, poof, blew out a little hole in the middle leaving me in focus. I know, wild right? 

In the next photo, without warning, BAM, the world turned black and white and grey. Like the Twilight Zone or Twin Peaks. What's haaaappening? But I could handle it. 

And then, braced now for any other freaks of nature to blast me, I myself was infused by an unnatural burst of energy that made all the colours in me and on the no-smoking sign across the lane pop AND - here's the creepy part - at the same time that little blur fog moved in. 

The next photo, yeah, it could have done with a few freaks of nature, maybe a blur fog here and there or an energy pop, but, see, I'm a natural woman. I don't believe in FAKE filters. EVER! I should wear a t-shirt that says I AM UNFILTERED. I prefer to let nature wash over me, have its way with me. I go with the flow. 

Which brings me to this (finger quotation) "unfiltered" thing. 

"Oh yes, here I am wearing a designer gown and tasteful makeup applied by the world's top makeup artists, relaxing on a chair that cost more than your house, bathed in the best studio lights, surrounded by a crack team of stylists whose sole job is to make me look good, being photographed by thee hottest photographer, but hell no, these photos are unfiltered!!"

Sometimes you may get a shot of yourself under glaring sunlight which, scientifically speaking, is rather cool, jeez, wrinkles growing inside wrinkles, woooow: that's unfiltered. But then you retake the shot in your bathroom with fantastic lights. No wrinkles: unfiltered. Or you get a new high-fangled camera with great lenses. Suddenly shit shots look good but they are, yup, unfiltered.

Maybe you have a friend, one who makes you laugh naturally, take your photos. You look awesome! Unfiltered. 

Or, finally, you stand in front of a tripod trying to imagine it is Fabio saying, "I can't believe it's not butter" (famous North American TV ad featuring impossibly non-sexual god-like man, link here). Okay, filtered because the thought of Fabio, well, there are no words.

I was in the alley, but I wanted to be HERE!

If I do things to my photos it's because that's how I see them, how they speak to me - and even though I would love to erase specific blemishes, that's one thing I don't do. But why even tell you that? Am I falling into that stupid trap of showing off how only unfiltered photos are valid? Such crap. I'm so glad artists filter the world through their eyes. Why be content with having a mere jacket when you can have a fruity salsa on your back?

Having said all this, many of my favourite blogger shots are candid spur-of-the-moment photos which add realness. But even then, the really "bad" ones are probably filtered out, quickly buried in the yard under moonlight. Mine, they are locked in a vault in the Fort Knox bullion depository in the US, lying in wait for the tell-all book by my future personal assistant. (Well, except for that one piece Suzanne has.) Heh

This outfit is meh. Except for the, ahem, Armani Exchange jacket which I thrifted and farked the hell out of with Sharpies, close-ups are in a post I did here. The skirt is a vintage silk designer piece made in Italy by a label called Sepulchre or Plutarch or a bumpy word like that, can't remember - it's filed in my cloud storage. It swishes like a dream, especially in front of that air exhaust system.

I'm for sure linking this up to Patti's Visible Monday at her blog Not Dead Yet Style. I can't miss her party. She said there will be champagne and martinis (just a minor edit from "might be" to "will"). Heh. I'm bringing my 7-Eleven Big Gulp cup cause I'm classy that way.

Edit: I also linked an Instagram photo to Catherine's #iwillwearwhatilike linkup at Not Dressed as Lamb. Thanks, Catherine! My IG photo is here.

Edit: Oct 22, 2016: I am linking to Catherine again for her Saturday Share Linkup. Heh.

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Ulla-Marie, Val, and Connie have joined the Hot Harridans Reading project from my previous post. Check them out. Holy HOTNESS!!! Their links are listed at the bottom. Thanks for joining!

Electric toothbrushes and fringe

I recently almost spent a ridiculous amount of money for a vintage coat online but was saved at the last minute by an email from Sheila of Ephemera. Buying it would have gone against my golden rule of thrifting: go with the flow and make sure you check out the five-dollar rack. Still, I wonder if that coat is gone. I'll just have a little peek…

But I'm more than happy with my new upcycled shaggy jacket.

I bought an oversized off-white shaggy jacket for $15 recognizing its Hideous-With-Potential Value (HWPV). I enhanced it with fabric paint, which maintains its softness, and Sharpie markers. I don't think the painting is done yet but I wore the jacket out anyway. The button at the bottom needs to be realigned to shrink the size in a cheating fashion, but in a pinch I grabbed a single suspender clip from my odds-and-ends drawer (I use them for emergencies of all sorts) to snap the front together. It worked a treat.

I wore this with my embroidered wrecked-up oversized jeans, scribbled-on Converse sneakers, Middle-Aged Kitteh DIY T-shirt, silk scarf, and magic loupe. Crowds parted on the sidewalk to let this MAT (middle-aged tweener) through. Grrr.

We disconnected our TV. There have been so few shows O and I enjoy, apart from the building's entertaining security channel, that cable was a waste of money. Suffering from withdrawal I ate two protein bars in a row to make myself feel good. Then I felt bad because they were the excruciatingly nutritious chocolate chip protein bars. 

Finding succour in chocolate has meant more quality time with my appliance – no! you dirty-minded trollops, I speak of another wand – my electric toothbrush. To clarify: for brushing teeth! In my mouth!! It boasts a separate digital smiley face counter that acquires more facial features the longer you brush. I've been wondering what it looks like if I brush for five minutes instead of the standard two but I max out at four when the paste goes watery and I start to gag. For that I am rewarded with a smirking smiley face with twitchy eyebrows, as if to say, you idiot, what did you expect? 

Did you know there are WiFi power toothbrushes now? Imagine if you're at an executive meeting and your phone tinkles: "Sweet Mel, time to brush your teeth! Healthy gums, healthy mind!" Won't happen – I'm the sole attendant at my executive meetings, in which case the only thing that would embarrass me is having a transcript of my unhealthy mind leaked to the press, kind of like what I'm doing here in this blog.

I'm linking this up to Sacramento's Share-in-Style at Mis Papelicos. 

Electric toothbrushes, yay or nay? I love mine, but not for four minutes!

She's so boxy, she must be rich

Despite the bold colours, this outfit feels very conservative. The overall shape has a boxy, priggish quality which makes me feel very sophisticated, like I'm in Paris wearing couture, like, you can tell I'm filthy rich because my outfit is so boxy. I wore my mod sunglasses to tart it up and went barelegged. It is hot! And of course I carried my flirty little toolbox handbag O gave me, former home of his Starrett height gauge.

Wearing: thrifted vintage '50ish floaty fitted sleeveless dress under a thrifted blouse, thrifted D&G heels, magic loupe from O, thrifted vintage sunglasses, vintage Tissot mechanical watch, gift from O. 

I'm heading over to Patti's at Not Dead Yet Style to get soused. After all, it's Visible Monday and we need to celebrate. See you there. Will you be the one who's shaken or stirred?

And this next bit is for Anne of SpyGirl. Her 52-Pick-me-up prompt is Fairy Tale - she has the best prompts. This is my fairy tale.

Voila! Grushenka is my magic wand.

You've seen this jacket before but I've added back and sleeve detailing. I'm extremely pleased with the way the oval patch came out on the back. I took a photo of a decrepit gas pump, printed it onto transfer paper, ironed the transfer onto white T-shirt fabric, cut it out, and then hot-glued it onto the jacket because I didn't want to puncture the fake snakeskin or deal with the jacket lining. I think this jacket upcycle is done now - it's tricky knowing when to stop. So ba-bye Armani Exchange. I like my version waaay better.

I think I'm coming down with that sewing bug that's going around... 

Yellow Skirt Freak Show Update!! and more...

From rainbow platforms she rises

sunrays spewing from her arse

the Divine, the inspired freakish thing, the 

travelling yellow skirt

from boudoir FILM noir

playground to bar-boundXX

with glowing beckoning codpiece

quivering and naked pale on

SAra

Hello the Mushroom

Magic shrooms

Hallucinogenic daydreams

You must see this.

G  o !    G o   n o w ! !

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Oh, Sara, thank you so much for your joyful and fishy contribution to this piece of fabric! Seeing your post was an unspeakably welcome distraction from the living I'm crafting at the moment. If you haven't already seen her post, don't miss it. The quilt grows. The journey continues.

...and a quick update

Ere I am J.H...The ghost in the machine.
(from the movie Brazil)

I'm too late for Hat Attack. I'm too late for the latest Visible Monday and Secondhand First(TM) and Shoe Shine and and and... In fact, I'm late for most of the Net life swirling wildly beyond my control within the guts of this machine, beyond this little clickety keyboard and the blue ghost-light of the screen. But here's whad I got, which I am linking to Shiny T Tuesday at Flight Platform Living.

First, the hat. It's my black hat, a vintage one, $7, worn with a vintage car coat circa early '50s, golden and shiny, black side-zip slim-cut linen capris, and super-high studded platform shoes. I'll leave the visualizations of everything but the hat and my left eye and my bits of messy hair to your imaginations. 

Bing. S'a meercle. Here I am again. In my jeans. In a thrifted jacket (designed by a famous He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named) enhanced, nay, resurrected by permanent markers (my faithful Sharpies - I had to get a new pack). This is MY jacket now, sucka'! Fake bone-tone reptile skin. I always smile like this when I come out of the salon in Brazil.

I'm in Mad Hatter mode. I'll connect later youse guys...

PS I just joined Mis Papelicos for her Share-in-Style: Pink as well. No pink here. I just felt like being a gatecrasher.

Okay, I just joined Bella's Shoe Shine too, hosted by Sheila at Ephemera instead of The Citizen Rosebud for something new. You can't even see my shoes. Heh.