An unfiltered life

These pictures are all unfiltered. Yes, it was a miracle - a rare blurry fog rolled in just as I was snapping that first shot. It eerily surrounded me, then, poof, blew out a little hole in the middle leaving me in focus. I know, wild right? 

In the next photo, without warning, BAM, the world turned black and white and grey. Like the Twilight Zone or Twin Peaks. What's haaaappening? But I could handle it. 

And then, braced now for any other freaks of nature to blast me, I myself was infused by an unnatural burst of energy that made all the colours in me and on the no-smoking sign across the lane pop AND - here's the creepy part - at the same time that little blur fog moved in. 

The next photo, yeah, it could have done with a few freaks of nature, maybe a blur fog here and there or an energy pop, but, see, I'm a natural woman. I don't believe in FAKE filters. EVER! I should wear a t-shirt that says I AM UNFILTERED. I prefer to let nature wash over me, have its way with me. I go with the flow. 

Which brings me to this (finger quotation) "unfiltered" thing. 

"Oh yes, here I am wearing a designer gown and tasteful makeup applied by the world's top makeup artists, relaxing on a chair that cost more than your house, bathed in the best studio lights, surrounded by a crack team of stylists whose sole job is to make me look good, being photographed by thee hottest photographer, but hell no, these photos are unfiltered!!"

Sometimes you may get a shot of yourself under glaring sunlight which, scientifically speaking, is rather cool, jeez, wrinkles growing inside wrinkles, woooow: that's unfiltered. But then you retake the shot in your bathroom with fantastic lights. No wrinkles: unfiltered. Or you get a new high-fangled camera with great lenses. Suddenly shit shots look good but they are, yup, unfiltered.

Maybe you have a friend, one who makes you laugh naturally, take your photos. You look awesome! Unfiltered. 

Or, finally, you stand in front of a tripod trying to imagine it is Fabio saying, "I can't believe it's not butter" (famous North American TV ad featuring impossibly non-sexual god-like man, link here). Okay, filtered because the thought of Fabio, well, there are no words.

I was in the alley, but I wanted to be HERE!

If I do things to my photos it's because that's how I see them, how they speak to me - and even though I would love to erase specific blemishes, that's one thing I don't do. But why even tell you that? Am I falling into that stupid trap of showing off how only unfiltered photos are valid? Such crap. I'm so glad artists filter the world through their eyes. Why be content with having a mere jacket when you can have a fruity salsa on your back?

Having said all this, many of my favourite blogger shots are candid spur-of-the-moment photos which add realness. But even then, the really "bad" ones are probably filtered out, quickly buried in the yard under moonlight. Mine, they are locked in a vault in the Fort Knox bullion depository in the US, lying in wait for the tell-all book by my future personal assistant. (Well, except for that one piece Suzanne has.) Heh

This outfit is meh. Except for the, ahem, Armani Exchange jacket which I thrifted and farked the hell out of with Sharpies, close-ups are in a post I did here. The skirt is a vintage silk designer piece made in Italy by a label called Sepulchre or Plutarch or a bumpy word like that, can't remember - it's filed in my cloud storage. It swishes like a dream, especially in front of that air exhaust system.

I'm for sure linking this up to Patti's Visible Monday at her blog Not Dead Yet Style. I can't miss her party. She said there will be champagne and martinis (just a minor edit from "might be" to "will"). Heh. I'm bringing my 7-Eleven Big Gulp cup cause I'm classy that way.

Edit: I also linked an Instagram photo to Catherine's #iwillwearwhatilike linkup at Not Dressed as Lamb. Thanks, Catherine! My IG photo is here.

Edit: Oct 22, 2016: I am linking to Catherine again for her Saturday Share Linkup. Heh.

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Ulla-Marie, Val, and Connie have joined the Hot Harridans Reading project from my previous post. Check them out. Holy HOTNESS!!! Their links are listed at the bottom. Thanks for joining!

She's so boxy, she must be rich

Despite the bold colours, this outfit feels very conservative. The overall shape has a boxy, priggish quality which makes me feel very sophisticated, like I'm in Paris wearing couture, like, you can tell I'm filthy rich because my outfit is so boxy. I wore my mod sunglasses to tart it up and went barelegged. It is hot! And of course I carried my flirty little toolbox handbag O gave me, former home of his Starrett height gauge.

Wearing: thrifted vintage '50ish floaty fitted sleeveless dress under a thrifted blouse, thrifted D&G heels, magic loupe from O, thrifted vintage sunglasses, vintage Tissot mechanical watch, gift from O. 

I'm heading over to Patti's at Not Dead Yet Style to get soused. After all, it's Visible Monday and we need to celebrate. See you there. Will you be the one who's shaken or stirred?

And this next bit is for Anne of SpyGirl. Her 52-Pick-me-up prompt is Fairy Tale - she has the best prompts. This is my fairy tale.

Voila! Grushenka is my magic wand.

You've seen this jacket before but I've added back and sleeve detailing. I'm extremely pleased with the way the oval patch came out on the back. I took a photo of a decrepit gas pump, printed it onto transfer paper, ironed the transfer onto white T-shirt fabric, cut it out, and then hot-glued it onto the jacket because I didn't want to puncture the fake snakeskin or deal with the jacket lining. I think this jacket upcycle is done now - it's tricky knowing when to stop. So ba-bye Armani Exchange. I like my version waaay better.

I think I'm coming down with that sewing bug that's going around... 

My daughter would NOT approve...and I've been SpyGirled!

If I had a daughter she would divorce me. I can hear her now - "MUUUUM!!! Are you KIDding me? Oh my GAAAWD. You are NOT wearing that in public." So glad I don't have children...although I'm sure if I did, they would be proper stepford children who say: "Oh Mother Dearest, you are a vision of gorgeousness, brimming with a host of talents and tender-heartedness, and I hope one day to be as fabulous as thou art." Perhaps some of you have spawned and reared such creatures?

Sandra and I were at it again. This is my David Bowie-who-fell-to-the-Earth look. Why did I have to fall so near the slosh bucket room and groady pay phones at the train station? Because we like it like that. Sandra wanked around with a few shots. Her talent never ceases to amaze and dumbfound.

"Yes, you heard me right. This is Occupant 008. Mission accomplished. Prepare Flight Deck 21 of Interplanetary Craft for double martini debriefing or you'll find yourself in the spacepod. Veeeery funny about the slosh bucket, C9Q2."



Those idiots! How many times do I have to tell them to turn the spaceship lights off when they land?



I wouldn't wear the hot pants or the silver spandex pants alone, but together, oh, yes, scandalously on the brink of being scandalous. I last wore the hot pants with my toolbelt to the Guvernment, here. By the way, following the wildly successful debut of our first unreleased album, Just Bad Enough is working feverishly on our next unrelease.

Details

• white A/X coat, thrifted, Value Village, last worn here
• hot pants of disintegrating vinyl, Value Village
• silver spandex pants, free from time-sealed treasure chest
• big black glitter booties (known as crappy-quality new shoes), retail
• black T under hot pants, thrifted, Value Village
• gloves, Canadian Tire, retail, decapped by me
• standing up hair, made so with aromatic blue product from Sandra
• magic loupe, O made it for me

I got some great pics of Sandra as well. One of my faves, below, is of her relaxing in the informal hallway to her living room. Maybe she'll post more pics on her blog Lens is More.

On the way home from our escape-aids, I had my eyebrows coloured chemical-white at MAC cosmetics. I took some photos but lost them. I'll take more when I redo them myself. And O just gave me a new tool box - bigger, stronger, faster. I am thrilled. I'll show you later, after I've had my way with it.

AND...
Holy Jamoly - Anne M Bray, aka SpyGirl, has sketched me in my dear-to-me floral spring madness outfit, which I posted here, as part of her Digital Catwalk-themed fake journal for International Fake Journal Month.  If you don't know Anne, you must also see her amazing personal style. And as a professional artist, her Commute series of artwork is currently being exhibited at TAG Gallery. Anne has many gobsmacking talents which she applies in her personal and professional life. Hugs, Anne. Thank you so much for this sketch. I love it and I am honoured. I am probably preaching to the converted here, but just in case, I encourage you to check out her blog.

That's the news from my part of the galaxy. My badass self just had to come out and play, especially with sticking-up hair from the special blue product. Yeah, baby. I hope your hair sticks up in just that special way that makes you feel like gettin' down and walking like an idiot as you play your own special tunes in your head. Does it?

[Addition] GAAAA - I'm of course going over to Patti's Place at Not Dead Yet Style for another of her Invisible Monday partays. (Sorry we trashed the place last week Patti. It was the punch, and then Curtise got up on the table and Tamera started singing... To make up for it I've hired some male strippers this week. They don't do much for me either, but it's fun just to write it.)

Invincible Monday!

Well, it's time for Patti's Visible Monday, but today I was feeling pretty invincible. I decided to try to overcome my fear of white coats. I've had this thrifted Armani Exchange white coat for quite a while and it was in my studio ready for a custom paint job when I decided to give it one last shot in its pristine condition and... I'm surprised I liked it! You know how some days you get a positive energy bubble around you that rubs off on everyone you meet? This was one of those days during my inspiration and style-scout walk.

I wasn't sure whether to go with black tights and black shoes or mustard tights and red shoes - I chose the black and black to ground myself and get framing with my hat and gloves, plus it makes the look a bit warmer on this chilly day, especially when I'm already chilling it with a white coat. The Chanel sunglasses were a gift, used.

Details of the outfit:

• thrifted Armani Exchange coat, $20 or so, Value Village
• knit scarf from Sears I think
• blue stretch dress from Metallicus, and lots of T-shirts under it from Metallicus (layering at 5 degrees C)
• vintage shiny black shoes with short deadly heels

That's it. I look forward to checking out all your Visible Monday looks too. Thanks, Patti, for this forum, at Not Dead Yet Style.