My big screen debut, a contest, Female Trouble, and more

Bing. I'm back!!

I'd show you holiday photos if I'd actually been on a holiday in the last month, but all the travelling I have done lately has been in my head - and I know that if I showed you photos of that, you would all get motion sickness. 

So here I'll show you what I've been wearing since I last wrote.

Kids loved those sunglasses. So did I. Especially with my space-age helmet hair.

The sweater in the next photo was a gift from British brand HADES, pure virgin lamb's wool, hand-made in Scotland. HADES offers several sayings, but this is my fave of the bunch. The retro font is reminiscent of the zany '60s movie Where Angels Go, Trouble Follows with Rosalind Russell. I didn't even know there was a John Waters movie by this name from 1974. Oh woe. I must see it.

In this outfit I felt like I was on a movie set. That's my script beside me (not really, it's my Glitter Barbie sketch pad I bought in Greece, which I use as a clipboard when I attend press events).

And more stuff.

I don't know how that greenie-brown XXL boiler suit made it into my closet. Secret interloper! Maybe it seduced me with its huge baggy sloppiness in a moment of weakness. I'm sure that's it.

Sleuthing aside, I did something very terrifying in my absence. And I failed at it really, really badly in a good way.

I entered a video in a competition by CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corp) called Next Up for amateur standup comedians, un-agented and previously unpaid. Except I'm not quite stand-up. I'm more La-Z-Boy really. I only did two takes because otherwise I would have chickened out. That's my excuse; I'm sticking to it. I could have hidden this, but there is misery in numbers. Right?

Rules for viewing:
Don't feel guilty or bad if you don't like it. For feck's sake, please don't be happy if you don't like it. And don't laugh either. Well, you can laugh but not in a mean way. If you start to feel mean, go to Suzanne's blog here; she's the one who told me about the contest. Hahaha. Now I'm laughing.

It is extremely painful to try to be funny alone in one's room, without music or a laugh track. Ask Sherry at Petite Over 40 because we made a mini Laugh-In show called LOL 40-Up. "Total fecking silence," to quote a line from Steve Buscemi in one of my favourite movies, Fargo. See the scene here, with Russian overdubbing!

Ten finalists have been selected, excluding moi, but including lots of women. Right on!! Have a look and a laugh. Finalists. You can browse all the entries here #CBCNextUp. Clearly my piece is more monologue than stand-up, but I was happy just to get my video out there. I figure that was a 10 on the experiential freak-yourself-out-for growth chart.

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AND, I made a sponsored video for Talize Thrift store which I posted on Instagram. My friend Elizabeth Zvonar helped with camera work. Lots of fun. I am not under any obligation to post it here, but click the picture if you want to see it.

AND, finally, the real movie I was in, the documentary Keep It In The Streets, written and directed by Everett Bumstead, is now playing on YouTube, 70 min. Everett and Sam, who was also instrumental in the project, are awesome. Experimental art film. I am honoured to have been a part of this. I hope you get a chance to watch. Their heart is in every scene. Click the photo to go to YouTube.

And that's it from me for now. I'm going to have a fun mini meetup tomorrow! Can't wait.

I'll link up with Patti at Not Dead Yet Style for Visible Monday and Catherine at Not Dressed as Lamb for #iwillwearwhatilike when they come up next.

Keep cool, my friends.
As always, thank you for visiting!!

How to wear fitted onesies over 55 for high adventure

Give me a purple or red fitted onesie and I'm on, hunting down baddies with headquarters in remote island volcanoes or exploring the Earth as a possible off-planet colony for my People. It happens every time. 

So here I am, still in the purple onesie from the West Vancouver United Church Flea Market, which I posted on here - I took it off in between though. The stirrup feet are miracles because they pull the fabric taut for an overall smoothing effect, which: 1) is calming when wearing a body-con outfit that flirts dangerously with my boundaries of public comfort; 2) provides streamlining for fast, comfortable deep space travel.

But first, let me write about that coat. That frickin' amazing coat from frickin' amazing Shelley of Forest City Fashionista. It came in a bulging envelope last week, along with something else equally amazing, which I am holding back from posting for delayed gratification. 

This photo is called golden leaf

Vivid fuchsia, vivid. By Danier, suede with shaggy fuchsia trim. It's almost (maybe, kinda, if-I'm-feelin'-glass-half-full) long enough for buttoxil area coverage (essential), but I brought along a stretch skirt in case I started feeling exposed, like I did behind the Strip shop below. Aliens must try to blend in.

They say, strip; I say, cover up. I'm practising being human by being unpredictable. Of course I wouldn't need the skirt if I were wearing a maxi coat, but this coat overruled all other outerwear considerations. Plus it has a secret weapon. Read on.

I swoon for that '60s groovy sci-fi vibe. Below, calling the Mother Ship with my Mantis. Or occupants of inter-planetary craft. Either will do, as long as their flight attendants serve Cheez Whiz ("processed cheese spread"), Space Food Sticks, ("developed for the U.S. Space Program"), and gherkin pickles (pickles).

I'm so glad I found this red wall! It's my first time here. These photos remind me of the piece Shelley did for VOGOFF magazine, where she's also calling her Mother Ship. 

The Purple People Eater, video clip, 1958 hit by Sheb Wooley)

When I was passing through Nordstrom during my inspiration walk, I ran into two friends who fell hard for this coat. Of course, I was keen to draw their attention to the glory of my spacesuit onesie as well, so I boldly hoisted the skirt to where no man has gone bef...* Oops, same era/genre, wrong script! To my high thighs to demonstrate its all-in-one-ness, which felt risqué, despite still being fully clothed. Well -

I needn't have worried one bit - they wouldn't have batted an eye if I had begun shooting ping-pong balls from my

Running in the vortex in Ackery's Alley

mouth, been wrapped in tentacles and slathered in Cheez Whiz and pickles - the coat had them in its thrall. They couldn't keep their hands off my cuffs and collar - the hypnotic power of the trim was alarmingly potent. (Note to self: Trim as secret weapon for future invasion strategy.) I almost had to Mantis them!

In the end, I gave up the onesie show and pulled my skirt back into place. Some stars, like the coat, shine brighter than others I suppose. 

Below, more evidence of the Fitted-Onesie Phenomenon (FOP) of super-sleuth/alien: my Emma Peel impression near the passport office, in a photo taken by Sandra Bernabei of Standard Deviations.

I'm wearing my vintage red wool knit onesie with original sewn-in belt at the hip, made by Gordi of Montreal. Also here. The seam threads were disintegrating so I had to resew the whole thing. Well worth it.

Below, a sneak peek in my bedroom. Is it possible I was abducted by one of the Occupants?!

And then I feast on a light breakfast. It's the new alternative energy.

To be clear, this post has been all about the SEO (search engine optimization), but you knew that, right? Now my blog will be inundated with hoards of women over 55 clamouring for tips on FOP. But to be fair, these tips can apply to any age. I'm sorry if I made anyone feel excluded.

That's it for now. I'll be linking up to Patti at Visible Monday on her blog Not Dead Yet Style and Catherine at #iwillwearwhatilike on her blog Not Dressed as Lamb.

May the FOP be with you, friends.

*From the original Star Trek TV series, 1966-69, line from the opening voiceover by Captain James T. Kirk. Relive it HERE.

Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.

Okay, now you'll be humming that opening theme all day. You're welcome. Heh.