Silk wrap, satin, and sequins. And Hat Attack!

I can't tell you how long I spent on this first piece of artwork below. Well, I can, but I won't. The vintage satin and sequin Chinese padded vest needed to be immortalized. As did those stretch caramel leather booties. And the hair, well, see paragraph below.

Remember when I said in the previous post, if you don't know what SEO is (search engine optimization) you might as well scrap your blog and stick your head in the toilet? Clearly, I'm as bad as it gets - the hair don't lie.

Connie summed it up with such erudition in her comment: "schblah-glunge-schwoop." 

But therein lies my genius. I am expecting correspondence from Liquid Plumber drain cleaner any day now with a glamorous sponsorship offer that will have all tip-top fashonistas clamouring for similar deals. Who better to sell that shite than someone with a swirly? Especially middle-aged with a swirly. And imagine the fun I'd have making videos to pitch their products.

Next I'll have automotive and electrical parts companies beating down my electronic door. And I shall be living on Cloud 9 where everything is at my beck and call. Hurrah. Flush. 

Onto the fashion:

Above is a couture look that says, wow, looks like that lady got tangled up in a wraparound skirt. Astute! It is indeed a maxi wraparound skirt, but one that's too precious, I felt, to be trapped within the rubric of the granola-cruncher set - not that that's a bad thing. Some of my favourite mammals eat granola.

No, this silk piece cried out for romantic fluttering closer to my heart, an intense infusion of incense, Shinto shrines, Lawrence of Arabia and Marrakesh night markets, paper lanterns, Paris runways, bordellos and bourbon. A whirlwind in my closet! In a word - a silk body wrap.

To add to the romance, under the wrap I am wearing my farked tank dress backwards. The script I painted on it, "I Surrender to the Chaos," seemed much more fitting positioned under my ass than my boobs, the latter of which never put up a fight to begin with making surrender a rather moot point. Plus, with this wrap the words were only legible from the back, at least when I left home, and both shirt sleeves were fully covered as well. All the best couture is slidey, don't you find? 

I am also wearing black jeggings, and on my feet thrifted lace-up booties and colourful Harlequin socks with black athletic socks underneath to prevent scraping of my ankles. Yes, cute shoes, but even without a tongue they give me quite a nasty lashing.

I may have only paid five dollars for this swath of processed caterpillar spit, but it looked and felt like a million bucks when I sashayed through Nordstrom, yesh. Cloud 9. Royal flush. 

And a parting photo of the sequin satin vest. I would have enjoyed acting in silent movies; maybe in a previous (still ongoing?) life I did. In this photo I see a young (heh), small-town woman clutching her bags, waiting for the train to carry her off to the big city where I suspect she would take up smoking, drinking gin, and scandalously rolling down her stockings. 

Which favourite automotive part would you like as a sponsor?

On Sunday I'll hook this up with Patti, hostess of one of the longest-running link-up parties ever - Visible Monday - at Not Dead Yet Style. Have you seen her new place? Schpetacular!

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HAAAT  ATTAAACK!!! (27) 

Hi Judith and everyone! See you at the meetup at Style Crone.

Unexpectedly feeling like a cowboy in this hat, a plain blue cotton cloche worn 

high with the brim turned up. Chanel sunglasses.

Jacquard "Mad Hatter" jacket that feels

like furniture. Mmm.

Get the cards ready. It's going to be an all-nighter.

Who's bringing the pie?

Thanks, Judith!

I vant to be alone

I love how this photo came out. It's how I would do Garbo if she had blue hair and wore huge honking glasses. I did this shoot in a hurry today to slip into Judith's one-year anniversary(!) Hat Attack #12 at Style Crone, very last minute, and Sacramento's Share-in-Style: Denim at Mis Papelicos, co-hosted this time by Judith.

I haven't worn this hat out yet. It was purchased as a blue wig but I prefer it as a puffy hat with a scarf. The lenses on these glasses are clear - I just like them. The denim jacket you've probably seen before, very fitted, and it has little glitter bits on it. Underneath is my Jimi Hendrix T and my enormous loupe O rigged up for me. Finally, those are my cycling pants, and in the background are bunches of paintings I've cut off the stretcher frames and wrapped for storage. It's the glamorous life I tell ya.

Whew!

Pant-theist: worshipper of pants

I wore this on Wednesday. Outta my way, I'm spewing uber-ness.

In fact, I was spewing such an incredible amount of uber-ness that I was raring to burst into the board meeting of my imaginary haute couture magazine in New York where I would fire the entire fashion editorial staff in favour of running my global empire single-handedly from the pool house at my mansion in Malibu. Without breaking a sweat, naturally.

Step. Spew. Step. Spew. Lively ubers in my wake.

These glasses frames with clear lenses were only $15. I shall need new glasses soon and thought these would be good testers of one of my favourite designs, the big Os. Sadly, I think my lenses will probably be too thick for these huge orbs, and I don't think my brows, forehead, and brain would benefit from the expansive prescriptive realm. Another style would probably better suit my face shape. Regardless, I shall wear these glasses again because I do like the style and they complement my chronic bitch face, yes.

Details

• glasses with clear lenses, $15 from thrift shop
• front zip big pants, vintage, thrifted. It took a lot of care to resuscitate these poor neglected darlings. Note how the pattern matches up so magnificently in the front (also in the back)
• suede vest with 4 front snaps, vintage, thrifted when I went out with Sandra.
• black boat-neck T with 3/4 sleeves, thrifted
• D&G shoes, thrifted
• magic loupe, O made it for me

And the hot pink delight below I also bought while thrifting with Sandra. I haven't worn it out yet and I'm not sure if I shall - the shorts are very, very short and I haven't worn shorts of any description for years, except for sports.

Oooh, another view, this time with the jacket which is looking rather haggard here because I didn't do it up correctly. When it's properly fastened, the jacket is form-fitting and the same length as the shorts creating the illusion that I forgot to put on my pants. So fun!(?)

Details:

• hot pink boucle jacket and side-zip short shorts, vintage, thrifted, size L(!)
• mustard tights, retail
• sunglasses, vintage, thrifted
• orange ruffled satin blouse, thrifted
• big shoes, retail, big sale

And I liked my hair in this shot.

And finally, this is a closeup of the shoes I got in the big sale I mentioned in the last post, $37. They are poor quality but I love the style.

AND - Uh oh, I've been doing big art again as you can see in the background, oil pastel on paper. This particular piece is ongoing - I like it that way.

I hope you all have a swell weekend. Will you be wearing shorts?