My day as a 50+ supermodel

It's one thing to make faces at my little camera stuck on tripod in a garbage room atelier, where I can snort, guffaw, get sweaty, fall off my shoes, say oof all the time, and cuss in foreign languages, and a whooole other thing to be photographed under the gaze of professionals. But I did it – and I didn't even swear once! I present with a flourish: My Day as a 50+ Supermodel. Bwahaha!

I had been worrying like crazy before the shoot. I told Claire Cormeau, the designer who asked me to model her new line called Nuage, that I hadn't done anything like it before but, sure, I'd do it. And then I had a month to freak out very effectively.

Designer Claire Cormeau; Photography Katrin Braga; Hair & Makeup Vanessa Kuan. 2016. Feeling faintly Swinton. I'd put on this face all the time if I could remember how. Who took my eye bags?!

The night before the shoot I shaved my yeti legs (they could double as reflectors, handy), clipped all the scraggy hairs from my nose (picture Mr. Bean), and made sure my pits and nails were shiny and bright. I forgot to moisturize my hands. But really, how can I be expected to remember so many body parts!?

I took a taxi to the studio to kick off my transition from humble (heh) personal style blogger to mega-uber supermodel. "Safety ensconced in her limo, she scrolled simultaneously through three cell phones, praying that she had stymied the paparazzi on her night of debauchery." Okay, that thought didn't help my flip-flop heart at all.

When I arrived at the studio there was a crack team of three women on standby - think Miss Congeniality, except I already know how to glide. Vanessa Kuan was in charge of my hair and face. Claire primped me in her absolutely gorgeous clothing! And Katrin Braga took the photos. While all this was going on, I exercised top-notch freaking out in the guise of insouciance.

Designer Claire Cormeau; Photography Katrin Braga; Hair & Makeup Vanessa Kuan. 2016. Katrin rushed to get these shots in fading sunlight. I love the profile of this anti-tux. The left pantleg is shorter and more close-fitting than the right.

I needn't have worried though. It was a day of point-and-shoot photography; in other words, they'd guide me to a spot, point me toward the camera, and then shoot. I tried my best not to think happy thoughts; sombre, morose things relax my face, and I rotated under their direction, although I had a few Mel jags with kicks, stomps, grrrs, and laughs. Between takes I tried hard not to respire, sweat, or shed cells on the exquisite clothes.

Katrin, what can I say? She was a maniac who stopped at nothing to get a shot. She rolled around on the floor, on asphalt, on muddy grass! From her prone position she expertly switched from one honking big camera to another, from digital to film. But every time she said, "Oh yeah, beautiful, that's great, perfect," I would crack up (literally) - I kept thinking of the 1966 movie Blow Up with Vanessa Redgrave (clip is here). Katrin's positive feedback at least reassured me that I wasn't totally screwing up.

Designer Claire Cormeau; Photography Katrin Braga; Hair & Makeup Vanessa Kuan. 2016. LOVE these "Melting Pants". The puddling of the waistband forms a ginormous pocket. She made the turtleneck too.

Vanessa magically revealed my inner dewy-skinned self. And I love how we went from sticking-up hair to slicked hair with blue brows and lashes. Can it be that I was feeling...Vogue? Bwahaha! I'll definitely do the slicked look again.

And Claire, in addition to juggling her fine designs, watered and fed us. She even brought a blankie to keep me warm between takes, cool props, lint rollers, socks, you name it. After six hours in several locations in different outfits, hairstyles, and makeup, I was exhausted - I'm not used to so much attention and bodily control.

I can't imagine what modeling as a career would be like, besides nerve-wracking!, but I'm sure that you'd be hard-pressed to find a dream team of young women as kind, patient, funny and professional as this one.

Designer Claire Cormeau; Photography Katrin Braga; Hair & Makeup Vanessa Kuan. 2016. People in the park wondered if we had ripped that bonsai out of the ground. Claire brought it as a prop, daffodils too. Best pants with circle cut-outs and embroidery down the sides. 

Thank you, Claire, for giving me this opportunity. Her Nuage line is all about freedom of expression and empowerment of women of all ages, and she wanted to reflect that in this shoot. I hope I was able to give her clothes and vision the justice they deserve. Her pieces are truly exquisite.

And think about it: how many young designers would have the guts to hire an untried 50+ broad over an 18-year-old pro to showcase their work? Cool, right? If you can, check out her website where you'll find details of her designs, including jewellery and other products.

Until next time, see you in the Enquirer. Bwahaha!

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Credits:

Claire Cormeau: Designer (Nuage)
WEBSITE :: INSTAGRAM

Katrin Braga: Photographer
WEBSITE :: INSTAGRAM :: TUMBLR

Vanessa Kuan: Hair and Makeup
INSTAGRAM

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When they go live, I'll link this up to Patti at Visible Monday, Not Dead Yet Style and
Catherine, #iwillwearwhatilike, Not Dressed as Lamb.
I wore these outfits, maybe not shopping or to the coffee shop, but I WORE them. It felt so good.