Good posture and bog facials

I'm not 20 anymore. It comes as quite a shock! 

How do I know this? Because today when I was walking across the city in these D&G heels, lugging two huge, stuffed-full, blue Ikea bags, one on each shoulder, I had to stop for a snack. Of course I often stop for a snack (I keep telling myself that my pants feel tighter because the laundry water is getting hotter and hotter), this time I wanted a rest as much or more than a snack.

Oh, but nature, she is not too cruel. She has gifted us with the diminishing ability to see things close-up as we age, which I'm convinced is to protect us from passing out from shock when we get up in the middle of the night and see our wrinkles in full definition in the mirror before we are fully awake.

There's not much I can do about the wrinkles part; that's okay. The annoying Top Blog recommends that I invest in a facialist. But they also recommend that I start slathering bee pollen all over my face at night. Do you know what that is?

Bees go out, stick gobs of pollen to their legs, fly it back home, and then head-butt it into little cells, mixing it with bee spit and nectar. Their family eats it, like bee porridge I suppose. Oh yes, I can see how that would be good for my face(?), and imagine all those poor hungry bees. No thank you. There are other foods that are good on my face, like chocolate pudding.

Just a cotton robe and pants with a silk blouse but I feel like an empress. I could be saying, "Did you wash your neck?"
O says that you are told to wash your neck in Japan before they cut off your head. Niiice. 

So why is it we think things that we eat are necessarily good to slop on our face? - coconut, honey, tea, yogurt, coffee, avocado, turmeric, berries. Why not just have breakfast in the tropics instead? I'm sure that would be good for my face. Then there's algae. And mud. Why don't we just all go swim in a bog? Mark my words, that will be the next big trend: "Romantic night-time Swim-with-the-Beavers bog facial tours!!"

On the issue of aging, one thing I that I think makes us look older is poor posture. I have three stellar tips in that department, none of that trendy, screamy, spandexed "STRENGTHEN YOUR CORE!" stuff.

Three Tips for Good Posture

1.  If your boss asks you to kiss his/her ass, ask him/her to please step up on a chair so you can avoid bending over. Or refuse for therapeutic reasons. I guarantee, if you refuse, you will walk taller, especially if you're trying to stand out in the unemployment line. 

2. Brush the chips off your shoulders, lighten the load. Put that cross you bear in the closet while you're at it. They ruin a good outfit and shoulder pads are passé.

3. Finally, if you have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other, for goodness sake, get rid of the angel! You'll have half the burden and twice the fun. This state may be achieved more quickly if you put your cross in the closet.

I'm wearing jewel tones, but where are the frickin' jewels? How does one make the leap from fabric to mineral? Tell me. Tell me that!

Seriously, I'm trying to work on improving my posture. While I brush my teeth, I stand up straight with my back and shoulders against the wall. It's easy (bonus) and has become a habit. Now I can copy that feeling when I go out without worrying that I'm holding my shoulders back at a freakish angle - it's supposed to feel like that.

The noodle walk above does not show the results of my self-improvement efforts to best effect. But it does show this fabulous robe outfit - no wonder I deluded myself into thinking I'm 20. Shelley of Forest City Fashionista gave me this robe a while back; this is its first outing. In today's breeze I got maximum benefit of its swooshy awesomeness.

Purple and green pattern cotton maxi robe from Shelley, thrifted Hilfiger cotton green paisley pants, vintage Prussian blue silk blouse, old thrifted D&G shoes, magic loupe from O, and an empty parking lot - it was a good day, even though I'm not 20. In fact, I'm glad I'm not 20, very glad. I'm wiser and way more mature, heck yeah.

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I'll be linking this up to Catherine at Not Dressed as Lamb for #iwillwearwhatilike. Patti of Not Dead Yet Style is on holiday or I'd link up to her too. I can't wait to read about her adventures in Canada! [Edit: Yes, I'm wearing wine too, which is the theme for Anne at SpyGirl, 52 Pick-me-up. I thought it was still neutrals, which this is not. I lift a glass. I'm linking!]

Have a great week, everyone! What's your favourite food to put on your face?

Also, thank you to Brigitte Woman magazine's online site in Germany for featuring me in their article Style icons over 50 - we learn from them. I'm listed as the Eccentric I think - the translation says Exzentrikerin. That's me. Thank you!