New handbag and painted jumpsuit

My new handbag. But it only holds water. Sometimes I spend money like water, so it will feel right at home in my handbag family with my lunch bag and tool box.

I found this one in the cupboard, under a down-comforter's worth of dust and cobwebs. At first I didn't know what it was, but the handle clued me in. You can hold it as a clutch or use the cord as a strap. So convenient.

O must have secretly placed the bag in the cupboard a couple of decades ago as a gift. It's sweet touches like this that really make a marriage work.

Definitely this is my new "it" bag. It's attractive, matches everything, and is compact with enough heft to use as a lethal weapon of self-defense. Open carry. Pepper spray is illegal in Canada. We can use bear spray, but it just doesn't cut it fashion-wise compared to this clutch.

I just can't figure out how to open it. There's the teeniest tiny hole in the top; coins won't fit in there. Maybe rolled up bills, but then how would I get them out? But that's okay - we all need water. It's essential for life. And I suppose I could just tape my credit cards to the bottom and carry everything else in my pockets like it seems you have to do with many of the cute little bags out there today.

But wait a minute. Something's wrong!

I am having horrific flashbacks. I feel dizzy. I'm sensing a huge wrinkle in time. Disgusting thoughts are pressing on my brain.

There is something oddly...familiar...? 

GAAAA~!!!! What's happening to me? I'm possessed!

Psssss!!! Stay back!!

WOW. That was close!! I don't know what happened there. This handbag brings out my inner Iron Maiden! Suddenly I knew a bunch of moves I didn't even know I had!

Don't worry though. I ironed everything out. Time to chill and blow off some steam with my new bag.

Fight scenes are always hot. Hot flashes are always hot, too.

No irony here. No, really - none.

I'm wearing my JLo cap-sleeve velour jumpsuit, which I painted on. The armlets are socks. I cut the toe part open so they wouldn't be useless mittens. I bought two pairs at one time knowing I would do this. See what I mean about shopping and water? Don't worry. I have mended my ways in a very Iron Lady Thatcherish fashion.

That's all for this week. I'm going to link up with Patti at Not Dead Yet Style and her Visible Monday and Catherine at Not Dressed as Lamb for her #iwillwearwhatilike. Have a stellar week everyone. I'll ask O where he bought this bag in case any of you want one too!

Masculine-feminine style, wearing cartoons, and life as a stylist

What do you wear when you want to wear something masculine/feminine, high brow/low brow? You wear this. 

The main ingredients are my thrifted vintage Emporio Armani jacket, thrifted men's Diesel T-shirt (size Impossible with super-long sleeves), women's Bardot jeans from a sample sale, and men's thrifted narrow shoes.

The jacket, T, and shoes are all from My Sister's Closet (MSC), a social enterprise that funds Vancouver's Battered Women's Support Services. If you've got any good-condition cast-offs lying around, this is a good place to take them. And then go for a shop! (unpaid endorsement)

Of course, the most essential ingredients of this ensemble are my magic loupe and ring, which O made me. You can get them now too from his Etsy store, HERE. And naturally, I've thrown in my gold glitter ankle socks and favourite lipstick. I even wore my glasses because A) I love them, and B) the cool clip-ons make them so baaaad (say it like a sheep, should be shoop, heck, just say it like a goat).

But to add to the feminine side I did this, below.

I wore O's little leather pouch - I think it's designed for carrying gems!? Anyway, I swiped it. Hahaha. And I tied the strap around my neck with this feminine blue ribbon to secure it to my body. Without it, the pouch slides off, and wearing the pouch inside the jacket adds wretched bulk. Unacceptable! Plus, I adore this soft, colourful touch.

You can see all the magic elements there. And below, the whole damned thing. I walked down the sidewalk like an outlaw in a Western, ready to draw. Yes, I mean it - I had paper and my special pen with me, which also added a soft touch.

Carrying on with this dissection theme, we have my J.Lo workout jumpsuit in black velour. As if I'm going to work out ... Hahaha. I posted it on Instagram before, when it was oh-so-lonely, just plain 'ole black velour. But as you can see, the mystical melanization process has brought it to life, much like how Dr. Frankenstein reanimated bodies, except this cartoon doesn't have someone else's criminal brain, I'm pretty sure.

Yep, now it's a fun velvet painting. Keep on truckin'. It still may not make me want to work out, but it makes me want to have a good time, which is why I went to the alley. (No, you perves, I don't mean that kind of good time. Get your mind out of the gutter - unless that's where you do your best creative work too.)

See? This new, improved jumpsuit made me jump! Just a little. Just for a few ten-shot photo bursts. But I did some videoing in this outfit with my fabulous dotted cart, with lots of running and Flintstones twinkle-toeing, like here, well, as much as I could in platform runners. The men unloading the beer truck blocking the alley probably thought the lab switched the brains.

The extra bits below. Humongous sunglasses, an absolute must, and my platform runners, which I bought in a moment of weakness (or strength of will?) super-duper sale retail. I loove these shoes. They scuff easily though. And of course, my magic ring is there and my magic loupe.

See? With these little style vignettes, this is just like a REAL style blog now. Pffft. Kiss my cartoon!


And next, who do we have here? Why, this is Vivian! She was my personal styling/closet-rooting-around client. I had to share photos of her; we had such a good time. First, we went through her closet, and after, we went on a field trip to the store. It was a two-day thing.

Below, the Before photo from shopping. It's hard to believe we could "up" this starting point, but we certainly zigged and zagged and got her lots of new, fun, and lasting pieces for her wardrobe.

You know how there is that popular style guide called Dressing Your Truth? Well, my version is more Dressing Your Dare. Vivian showed how it's done. Shoes! Scarves! Dresses! Coats! Bring it on!!

Nah, she didn't buy the stole, we're waiting for the Bigger Sale. Hahaha! But she was game. And check out that lime green and burgundy wine designer dress behind her. Yes! No. She didn't get that either. The super-long pointy collar was impale-worthy. But it was a time of exploration, functional play I call it, taking stock and restocking. There are more photos of Vivian on her Instagram, HERE.

I got permission from Vivian to post these photos, so don't go sweating all over yourself if you've gone all gaspy. Seriously, we had lots of fun and got lots done.

If you're in the Vancouver area and feel ready for a little Frankening of your own, contact me through the email on this blog or via my Instagram. I haven't done it by video yet, but probably we could work something out. Maybe.

That's all for this week, my little shoops, meese. (Goose, geese, right? That's how it's supposed to work.) Not that I think any of you are mutton! Or mooses! No! Okay, clearly, it's time to sign off for this week. Heh.

_____________________________________________________________________

I'll link up to Patti at Not Dead Yet Style, Visible Monday. Yeah - refill the punch bowl, I'm bringing my Super Big Gulp cup!* And I'll link up to Catherine at Not Dressed as Lamb, #iwillwearwhatilike.

Have a good one, everyone. You figure out what that "one" is. Have a good multiple. !!! Okay, it's really time to go.

Thanks for visiting. My appreciation is unbounded. Too bad I ran out of cheese nippy hors d'oeuvres to feed you.

*Super Big Gulp is the SUPER HUUUGE drink size you can buy at 7-Eleven convenience store, 1.3 L/44 US oz. Who? Who buys this size? There's even an X-treme Gulp - 1.56 L.