Saturday, 18 June 2016

Good posture and bog facials

I'm not 20 anymore. It comes as quite a shock! 

How do I know this? Because today when I was walking across the city in these D&G heels, lugging two huge, stuffed-full, blue Ikea bags, one on each shoulder, I had to stop for a snack. Of course I often stop for a snack (I keep telling myself that my pants feel tighter because the laundry water is getting hotter and hotter), this time I wanted a rest as much or more than a snack.


Oh, but nature, she is not too cruel. She has gifted us with the diminishing ability to see things close-up as we age, which I'm convinced is to protect us from passing out from shock when we get up in the middle of the night and see our wrinkles in full definition in the mirror before we are fully awake.

There's not much I can do about the wrinkles part; that's okay. The annoying Top Blog recommends that I invest in a facialist. But they also recommend that I start slathering bee pollen all over my face at night. Do you know what that is?

Bees go out, stick gobs of pollen to their legs, fly it back home, and then head-butt it into little cells, mixing it with bee spit and nectar. Their family eats it, like bee porridge I suppose. Oh yes, I can see how that would be good for my face(?), and imagine all those poor hungry bees. No thank you. There are other foods that are good on my face, like chocolate pudding.

Just a cotton robe and pants with a silk blouse but I feel like an empress. I could be saying, "Did you wash your neck?"
O says that you are told to wash your neck in Japan before they cut off your head. Niiice. 

So why is it we think things that we eat are necessarily good to slop on our face? - coconut, honey, tea, yogurt, coffee, avocado, turmeric, berries. Why not just have breakfast in the tropics instead? I'm sure that would be good for my face. Then there's algae. And mud. Why don't we just all go swim in a bog? Mark my words, that will be the next big trend: "Romantic night-time Swim-with-the-Beavers bog facial tours!!"

On the issue of aging, one thing I that I think makes us look older is poor posture. I have three stellar tips in that department, none of that trendy, screamy, spandexed "STRENGTHEN YOUR CORE!" stuff.

Three Tips for Good Posture
1.  If your boss asks you to kiss his/her ass, ask him/her to please step up on a chair so you can avoid bending over. Or refuse for therapeutic reasons. I guarantee, if you refuse, you will walk taller, especially if you're trying to stand out in the unemployment line. 
2. Brush the chips off your shoulders, lighten the load. Put that cross you bear in the closet while you're at it. They ruin a good outfit and shoulder pads are passé.
3. Finally, if you have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other, for goodness sake, get rid of the angel! You'll have half the burden and twice the fun. This state may be achieved more quickly if you put your cross in the closet.

I'm wearing jewel tones, but where are the frickin' jewels? How does one make the leap from fabric to mineral? Tell me. Tell me that!

Seriously, I'm trying to work on improving my posture. While I brush my teeth, I stand up straight with my back and shoulders against the wall. It's easy (bonus) and has become a habit. Now I can copy that feeling when I go out without worrying that I'm holding my shoulders back at a freakish angle - it's supposed to feel like that.

The noodle walk above does not show the results of my self-improvement efforts to best effect. But it does show this fabulous robe outfit - no wonder I deluded myself into thinking I'm 20. Shelley of Forest City Fashionista gave me this robe a while back; this is its first outing. In today's breeze I got maximum benefit of its swooshy awesomeness.


Purple and green pattern cotton maxi robe from Shelley, thrifted Hilfiger cotton green paisley pants, vintage Prussian blue silk blouse, old thrifted D&G shoes, magic loupe from O, and an empty parking lot - it was a good day, even though I'm not 20. In fact, I'm glad I'm not 20, very glad. I'm wiser and way more mature, heck yeah.

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I'll be linking this up to Catherine at Not Dressed as Lamb for #iwillwearwhatilike. Patti of Not Dead Yet Style is on holiday or I'd link up to her too. I can't wait to read about her adventures in Canada! [Edit: Yes, I'm wearing wine too, which is the theme for Anne at SpyGirl, 52 Pick-me-up. I thought it was still neutrals, which this is not. I lift a glass. I'm linking!]


Have a great week, everyone! What's your favourite food to put on your face?

Also, thank you to Brigitte Woman magazine's online site in Germany for featuring me in their article Style icons over 50 - we learn from them. I'm listed as the Eccentric I think - the translation says Exzentrikerin. That's me. Thank you!


64 comments:

  1. Can't we go right to the chase and say style over 60? opps. You're not old enough yet. hehehe. That's okay, you can still play with us big kids cuz you are too cool for school, bay-bee. yeah.

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    1. I am still learning at the knee of the Masters, rather, Mistresses <-- gaa no, that's just wrong, how about Goddesses, yes. I am the grasshopper. ??? Teach me more, bay-bee, yeeeah!

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  2. Ha Ha Melanie, you are great! And you look aaaaaamaaaaazing! Sometimes I put curd in my face, psssst ;)
    xxxxx

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    1. I didn't know curd is one but the milk family in general is supposed to be good for the skin. Thanks, TINA!! Hugs.

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  3. I laughed out loud Melanie..hahahahahaha....yes we can't see diddly squat, but the rest of the planet has no problem spotting our beard hairs and crow's feet.
    A hairy chin and middle aged spread.
    Depressing.
    I sometimes put cream (from a cream cake) on part of my face...does that count?

    You look wonderful in this Pattern-mixed look...decedent.
    XXX
    Samantha
    FakeFabulous.com

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    1. Hahaha, I actually wrote "sprouting" in reference to the night-time face and I guess I deleted it in the final edit.

      Cream cake cream - yeeeah, that counts. Heh.

      Nature planned for us not to see what's going on. When you're younger you're so self-absorbed and self-focused it's hard to see others clearly anyway. Interesting balance. Heh.

      Thanks, Samantha!

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    2. Hahahahaha...I just noticed I wrote Decedent (as in a deceased person)....instead of Decadent (as in Luxuriously indulgent)...hahahaha....

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  4. This is a wonderful mix of colors. I'm feeling 1920's absinthe loving Parisian gallery owner. The thing I love most about your photos is that you always seem to have a lovely breeze blowing, robes flowing, hair growing, skin glowing. Whatever you're doing, KEEP DOING IT!!! The only food that I put on my face is that which somehow misses my mouth and that hardly ever happens. Devil on your shoulder. In lieu of emojis: smiley winky kissy face!

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    1. Oooh, I love your reference, Connie. I should be hanging out with you, especially in your latest IG outfit. The trouble we'd get into...
      It's often breezy here off the ocean, which is great for photos. When it isn't, I have to find a big stinky air vent.
      Hahaha, yes, every miniscule crumb must go IN, not ON.
      Hugs, Connie.

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  5. Oh the swoosh! Love everything darling, everything.

    Yes posture is important - particularly when attempting more advanced Bracknelling - think sturdy Victorian corsetry. Your three tips are tip top.

    Food facials - hmmm - that's why they invented the table napkin, no?

    As to carrying large parcels, I have taken to using a small, wheeled-suitcase. I can usually house a laptop, miscellaneous veg shopping and much thrifting with little effort and without the need for staff or porterage. Being lime green it aids visibility and the long telescopic handle is a good substitute for a walking cane.

    Strengthening my core with buttresses and pondering a blog

    Elaine Monkeypaints (proudly over 20, like waaay over)

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    1. Strengthening with buttresses? Hahahaha! Good one. I got home and announced to O, Hey, I'm not 20 anymore! He said, Pfft, of course not!! Heh. I need a wheelie cart too, a cool one. Like yours, in lime green.
      What's that? Pondering a blog? Oh do oh do! I'll be the first to enlist.
      Thanks, Elaine Monkeypaints.

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    2. OK I'm doing it.
      Who knows how long the novelty will last.

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    3. Oh, I almost missed this news flash. EXCELLENT.

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  6. Love the post and the outfit! You have a great way with words and style. I too, love the occasional snack to get me going again. Cake is my favorite elixir.

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    1. Thank you, The Stantons! Oh yes, cake has strange healing powers on the outside and the inside. I'm with you there.

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  7. Oh the vibrancy of color! Not to mention the brilliant smile. You do capture movement so well and this robe really called for a bit of swooshing about. Who needs core power when you have Olympic swooshing skills?
    Thankyou for the laughs as well!

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    1. I do a manual camera setup on a timer to catch that movement. I don't use Dick, my fairly trusty remote control at all. Gold medals for swoosh? Yeeah, I'm all for it, unless sugar is banned and I fail the test. Thank you for your great comment, Marilee!

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  8. Indeed you look like an empress. A Russian or French empress. Lovely colour and pattern mixing. Loved your tips for good posture hahaha. Especially the first one. I am still using the Lumolift thingamagee for my posture. Only not this week (I am on holiday in Spain). And I never put food on my face.
    By the way, jewels and jewel tones. I think your ring from O with the red stone (ruby?) would do nicely.
    Greetje

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    1. When I saw that photo I thought how luxurious these fabrics look. The black backdrop with natural light - I love it. And yes, the things O makes me ALL qualify as the finest rarest jewels. Oh yes.

      Your Lumolift is excellent, I looked it up when you posted on it, but you need a phone with you for it to work.

      Glad you're on holiday!! How fun! Thanks for visiting here too. Mwah.

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    2. What do you mean "you need a phone with you for the Lumolift to work" ? No you don't. You can get extra information with your phone, but you don't need it. I never use my phone with it.

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    3. OH!! That's excellent. When I saw the site I just saw the big cell phone and the words app and thought, grrr. I just went back. If I get the one for a laptop it works for a 10m range. Now I'll think about it more. It would help with sitting at my computer. Thanks, Greetje!

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  9. Holy crap I have the worst clothing envy! That ROBE!!! Those shoes!!!!
    As for arse kissing, I confess in the dressing room last night, I kissed the G string clad, kilt wearing butt of the European Men's pole Dancing Champion, because he flashed it at me, and it was SO delicious. I could only do this AFTER the interval, as in the costume I was wearing in the first half of the show, I could not bend at all!!

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    1. Hahaha, you did it for realsie?! I suppose it would be impolite not to, hahaha. I also laughed that you couldn't bend over in your first costume. I can believe it - they are so awesomely elaborate and decadent!! Thanks for visiting, Maryanne.

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  10. Love your exuberance! And you're an absolute genius at mixing and matching prints! Brava! (three exclamation marks -- you can tell I really mean it, right?)

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    1. Ah, thank you for the compliment!
      When you're settled we should maybe plan on meeting over that eclair...?!

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  11. I often have chocolate and peanut butter on my face, which can be a little snack for later in the day when I lick the sides of my mouth.

    I agree wholeheartedly about getting rid of the angel. Who needs to hear all that constant bickering in their head all the time?

    You look like you walked out of an opium den from the 1800's here, but with more energy. All tapestry and textures.

    bisous
    Suzanne

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    1. I'm a true supporter of keeping a ready supply of snack foods on one's face. Heh. Humour is often fueled by my devil but that pesky angel pushes me to get a Disney "G" rating. Sigh.
      I love how the cottons look so luxurious in these photos. Vancouver was a quite an opium haven in its day and I think that's how many of the city's big names got their wealth, that and bootlegging. They definitely knocked off their angels.
      Thanks, Suzanne!!

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  12. 20? No thanks. Seeing as I work at a university, I'm around that age group all the time. I hope I was never that "young".

    Wonderful combo of awesome your wearing. As for food on my face, only if I miss my mouth

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    1. It wasn't until I wrote that that I really appreciated not being 20 anymore. Thanks for visiting. Always a pleasure!

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  13. Oh Mel, I LURVLUVLUVLOVE the photos of you in this post, and I'm so happy the robe got to release it's inner swish with you. Excellent posture tips - that's an issue I find myself having to work on as I have been told to "stand up straight" most of my life. The angel definitely has to go ;)

    Pffft, 20? No way no how. I'm with Thorne Garnet; I work around 20-somethings all day and I hope I was never that self-absorbed. I don't put food on my face unless someone plans to lick it off.

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    1. Yes, this robe was taunting me for quite a while and now it will be one of my favourite pieces. I love it when everything falls into place.
      Hahaha, is your fridge full of chocolate syrup in wait? No, that would be too cold. It would have to be in your cupboard.

      Thanks, Shelley, for the laugh, and this outstanding robe.

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  14. Your description of bee pollen is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, that IS pretty grim! And our poor bees work so hard. I bought a jar of honey from a beekeeper today and apparently to make one jar of honey, a bee will fly the distance of flying around the world twice to fill it. Made me think how I mustn't waste any honey!!
    Loving the jewel tones, even if you don't look like an ancient gemstone!!! Pretty and the ultimate attractive swish!

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    1. I think of all those poor hungry bees and now they are all dying. ???!!! Of course - we are STEALING from them. But I do LOVE honey. I didn't know they fly that far. My dad used to have hives (for bees).

      Thanks so much for your lovely comment, Kezzie.

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  15. love the oriental empress look on you!!!
    and yes posture. if i don´t watch my posture and try my best i´ll look like a sack of potatoes wearing a designer dress.... ;-) your tips a fantastic - esp. 2. & 3.!!!
    i use coconut oil since 1&1/2 year - and i´m very happy with it. its not for less wrinkles - but 1.time of my adult life my skin is not desert dry with a hang to play havoc - just calm and dewy and nice.
    much love! xxxxx

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    1. Now whenever I think about posture I think about dental health. Hahaha.

      I'm glad to hear the tip on coconut oil - I've heard such great things about it. I use olive oil as a makeup remover and love it.

      Thanks, Beate. Much love back, xxxx.

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  16. That first photo reminds me of a great bit from a Family Guy episode I watched just last night.
    Brian: Don't you think you're overdoing it with that outfit?
    Stewie: I don't wear anything I can't take off with a flourish.

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    1. Hahaha, I don't know Family Guy but I'm sure I'd love it. Thanks, Hollie!

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  17. A Facialist! Sounds a bit too close to a Fatalist (if we're talking about looking in the mirror at the worst of times - or, in the wrong light - I've pledged not to take any notice of bad quality mirrors).
    I laugh and smile whenever I read your posts, Melanie - thanks heaps!
    And so you go from "those sleeves" to a flying coat of many colours!
    I do confess to putting food on my face - honey and oats for a nice exfoliate and yoghurt for a mask(the benefits being that one can lick the excess off the fingers), and recently I discovered apple cider vinegar for maturity spots (other people may call them age spots, or worse, liver spots - ugh!)I think it's working although J.B. can't quite cope with the smell if he comes near me when my face is drinking the cider vinegar in).
    Looking forward to more swishing and colour! The world can't ever have enough!

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    1. Oh yes, I have bad quality mirrors everywhere. I love the line in The Titanic where she looks in the recovered mirror and says the reflection has changed a bit. Mirrors tend to emphasize one's fatalistic outlook. Ha!

      When I was younger and into suntanning I would use vinegar on sunburns (I was bad at tanning). I was called Pickles. I can see how your food facials would be great - far, far better than any commercial product.
      Thanks, Elizabeth, for dropping by and chatting.

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  18. This is exactly why I love your blog, posts as good fun as this one. I thought I was still in my twenties until both my lads past the age of 20, little buggers have gone and ruined my agelessness!!! Actually I am rather enjoying being in my fifties!!!

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    1. Isn't that weird, how your very own offspring can be the same age you were, adults even? Trippy. I can see how you are enjoying your fifties, Sue. Hurrah!! You are doing a damned fine job of it! Thanks for dropping by. I love to see you.

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  19. Look at all this fabulousness! I covet that robe, and it reminds me to be more daring about wearing the crazy stuff. Who else is going to!? The only good part about being 20 was making all the mistakes that led to our awesomeness now.

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    1. I hear you on the making mistakes part. My 20s were one gigantic cringe. Clearing my throat here, but you want to be more daring with the crazy stuff? Sorry, Sheila, but you are already with me there. Fantastically so. And that's what keeps life so excellent.

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  20. Plain cow's milk. Pat/dab it on your face and let it dry. Roll off the mess with your fingertips -- dirt and sebum and dried flaky skin and yuck roll right off with it. Gentler than a mudpack. Cheaper, too -- you can mix up powdered milk for the application. What comes off your face is amusingly disgusting.

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    1. Oh, I would enjoy getting amusingly disgusted with my face! In fact, I don't need cow's milk on it to feel that way in moments of weakness. Thanks for the tip! I'll try it.

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  21. I HAVE A BOG! I'm totally going to start a spa out here - thanks for the suggestion. I think I'll just have to downplay the whole 'be careful of the bears' part though.

    I agree - I don't miss my twenties even a little. You look amazing in all those jewel tones! <3

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    1. AWESOME! Soon you'll be famous with all the Hollywood people flying in to soak in muck. Bears, schmears, they are part of the fitness part of the spa weekend - RUNNING, for your life. Great calorie-burner.
      Thanks for visiting. It's great to see you!

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  22. The ass-kissing tip is so truly commom-sensical. (And reminds me retirement is a blissful state). Gorgeous coat, and great posture, and as Glenda the great blogger says, "So what to 20". Missed you like mad in Toronto. xox

    -Patti
    http://notdeadyetstyle.com

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    1. Oh, how I wish I could have been there with you in TO. I was reading all your wrapup posts and it looks like you guys made the most of your time together. Thanks for visiting here, Patti. Second-best but better than nuthin.

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  23. The robe is brilliant, but then it was gifted by Shelley. I would expect nothing less.

    I love reading your posts as I savor my mooring coffee. Gets me off to the right start. You always make me laugh. And style icon you are!!! Congratulations!

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    1. Yes, Shelley knows me. This is an almighty piece.
      I'm so glad I make you laugh - really, life is much easier to take with a laugh. Thanks so much for dropping by, Judith. xxx

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  24. Green tea and honey! I just rub my morning tea bag on my face. I have no idea if it does any good.

    This is all good advice. Do you know why I hate having my picture taken? Of course you don't. I hate having my picture taken because in my mind and in my mirror (because I'm nearsighted), I am the most beautiful woman in the world. Then some asshole takes my picture and spoils it for me.

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    1. Hahaha, I can picture you rubbing the tea bag over your face. I rub toast and honey on my face but just around my mouth. And it just pisses me off. Heh.
      Photos are deceiving, they are naughty, they are imps, they are teasing, providing hope and despair with every frame. Gaaa!! Just stay away, I say. Taking self photos is so much easier for me than being capture through someone else's lens.

      Don't worry, Connie. We know you're the most beautiful woman in the world!!! Mwah!

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  25. best advice ever is to have my breakfast in the tropics (some fruits, please, and I will have that fish too), I say Yes even if it will put a big smile on my face which produce new and interesting wrinkles for sure!!!
    You look fabulous in your robe, such an amazing print, and particularly fab purple lining!!. And love your shirt's color (really, love that shirt). And those shoes!!
    besos & tropical breakfasts!!

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    1. Oh yes, I hadn't thought of the laugh lines. I suppose we can go to the tropics and still put yogurt all over our face which would cover the lines. And it'd be a good sun block. Maybe.
      I was shocked how much I love these colours. You are a master of this colour set, well, of most colours in fact.

      Besos & tropical breakfasts back to you!!!

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  26. My American girlfriend told me a few years ago that it's best to step an inch further away from the mirror with every birthday. Her logic being that we will always be in soft focus and therefore not be too scared about what we see. My eyesight is failing so the effect is the same. And I certainly try not to check myself out in bright sunlight as that's way too frightening! You look wild and wonderful as ever. The mix of colours and patterns are a joy, as are you. Congrats on your latest claim to fame. Rock on x
    Anna

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    1. The problem with stepping away for me that I would be more in focus as it's my closeup vision that's dropping off. So maybe I should stand closer and closer to the mirror every year - YES! - and it will become a big fog. Hahaha.
      Bright sunlight, oooh, no lies there which is why big sunglasses are our best friend.
      Thanks so much, Anna! Loved your comment.

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  27. I will never stop loving those shoes. NEVER

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    1. Like a favourite teddy bear they are getting bald spots. HELP!!!

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  28. I'd be bowled over if someone called me eccentric too! Then I'd invite them over for a light snack, a dusting of glitter and a thorough tonging. Hair tonging of course. The other kind is discretionary.

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    1. Bwahaha!! Hair tonguing. Purrr. You are awesome. In fact, you are ten ways fantastic beyond eccentric and back again.

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