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Saturday 3 September 2016

Pantsuits, white hair gel, and chest coolers

I should be singing. Something '80s.

It feels like autumn and I am enamoured with suits, jacket/trousers, with a tie or huge plastic flowers pinned to the lapel.  And stark white shirts, spray starched - you can almost hear the fabric crack with each elbow bend. Maybe this fixation comes from the back-to-school air, the words uniforms, regimentation, thinking caps, and pencils. 

This suit is an indulgence. An Emporio Armani vintage set, made in Italy, thrifted. I watched it for weeks in the shop without much interest. And then one day I tried it on. By happenstance, there was a new white men's shirt in the change room at the same time. I bought them both. And the next week I found the tie. I'm in grey.

A season of lines - straight, crooked - and unpredictability. A woman in a suit also zigzags definitions. Not blurred lines so much as smudged and messy, peskily impure for slotting pegs in boxes. Of all the clothes I have ever worn, nothing has elicited more hostility from men than the pantsuit. To that I say, with a jaunty flip of my coat flap - kiss my pantsuit ass. 

In my hair I've put Manic Panic white hair gel. Seriously, it coats your hands - and hair - like paint, but it washes out. I love the subtle effect on my grey. What's great about this gel is it allows me to play with colour without the commitment of a dye. Today I bought a small tube of blue - about $12 Cdn. I'll let you know how it goes. (Not sponsored)

And below, another farking project.

My alien/marshmallow/panda/anime/ghosty/crow shirt. And boob cooler. And just-in-case-I-suddenly-get-implants shirt. And instead of white hair, I did white eyebrows (slightly blue) and nude lipstick. So pale, so pale, waiting for the ship to beam me up and away to the jelly planet.

I've heard it's a thing to pose like you've just taken your finger out of your mouth. Uh, I won't do it again. I met up with Sue of A Colourful Canvas this week and she taught me another trending pose where you just droop open one side of your mouth. Oooh, sexay! Hahaha!!! We both laughed trying that one out. Sorry, no photos! But people in the cafe may have been alarmed. 

I'm linking to Patti, Visible Monday, Not Dead Yet Style, and Catherine, #iwillwearwhatilike, Not Dressed as Lamb

So what's up with you? Think you'll try that gel? Or the sexy droopy mouth pose? Show us! Hahaha.


  1. The men hate the pantsuit because you look SOOO much better in a suit than most men could even dream of. The plaid tie is the icing on the cake.

  2. You remind me of Tilda Swinton with those blue-tone eyebrows!!!!

  3. You know what is funny? I think I just bought the same tie for Robert last week! hahahahaha!

    I have not heard of that pose but would have loved to have been there to try it out with you two! That would have made a great video! Maybe we should just start doing face callisthenics for our photos. You seem to have a great start. I will need coaching and a medium size bottle of vodka. Seriously though, I need your direction when I take photos. I'm always the same old booooring me.

    I'm not trying out the kissy/Oh! lips. I already know the only person that appreciates that is my pug.

    Cannot wait to see the blue hair on you. With your blue eyes it'll be amazing!


  4. Also: detention, squashed sandwiches and toilet-papering.

    Suit was waiting to choose its mistress ... many tried in vain ...

    I will put anything in my hair if it means I can detract from the enormous zit on my chin. oxooxoxo

  5. The suit is awesome, such a perfect fit. You're just too sexy in men's clothes - they don't know what to do about that - too confusing hahaha x If only we'd looked that hot in our back to school days! Great hair gel. Can't wait to see the blue version. No facial athletics from me as I avoid anything vaguely like a close up of my aging chops!

  6. Let them get provoked. I found that entertaining.

  7. Ooh! Must look for that gel,Melanie. It looks awesome on you!

  8. i imagine the boob-cooler-shirt on me - waaahhh!!!! :-D
    fab suit! love that style with white shirt and tie! colored hair gel? if thats ever available in europe i will try for sure!!!!

  9. You always look so amazing in menswear. Always. <3

    - Anna

  10. you look so awesome. Can't wear menswear, something about have a "bust" or being "busty". It would feel like autumn around here if it wasn't in the 90's and that hurricane hadn't blown by the other day. The only thing fall(ing) here where some trees.

  11. I know that men feel threatened by women in pants suits which I just don't understand because I LOVE a man in a skirt! Really you do look better than most men in a suit, actually you look better than most people in just about anything but, I digress. I say, piss them off, cool those boobs, gel that hair, rock the world!!!!!

  12. Wow! Love this look. Great suit. Great hair. Great style!!!!!

  13. This is how fashion photography is made. This is how fashion is made. Girl that Armani suit was made for you. And so is the shirt. You will not care, but men suits are sooo trendy. Sorry girl, you hit a trend again.
    Your last picture will probably be seen by a hot shot creative person at a hot shot magazine and he or she will call you. Mark my words.

  14. Fantastic Melanie!!!

    RE: The pose with the drooping side of the mouth - I would be afraid I would look like I had a stroke!

  15. Well, you know how I feel about women in suits and ties, and men can just go wear skirts and blouses if they're offended. I love the white hair gel - I should look for it for myself. You're always so up to date on the latest trends. I knew about the pouty mouth (which I am sick of alreayd) but I'm sure the white eyebrows will be the NEXT BIG THING! Fab as always, Melanie!

  16. Brilliant photos, Melanie!

    No, probably won't try the gel. Or the droopy mouth pose. I'm pretty sure it would be far from sexy on me - especially with drool. Hahaha.

  17. The mouth drool post comes to me so naturally. Love your Armani suit and WTAF do men have to say about what we're wearing? (Other than, "oh goddess, oh precious pearl, let me bring you a latte because your clothes are so fab"). Must try white hair asap. xox



  18. White hair gel? Do I need it? Well, I guess I could give it a try. Maybe give myself a nice Johnny Deep as Sweeney Todd streak? Go half and half like Cruella Deville?

  19. The 80's vibe suit look is awwwwesome! xo

  20. You look gorgeous in your pant suit Mel, no wonder the men are well jel!!

    That Manic Panic stuff looks interesting; I wonder if I can buy it here? I can't wait for my silvery hair to turn white....

    Love the farking project, too. As for the poses they both sound daft to me but what do I know?

    Have a lovely week


  21. You are my Annie Lennox! I love the suit - you do androgeny so well. Ha, what will be the next facial pose trend? The "I just had a stroke"? The Bell's Palsy? Love the "featureless" face - although, yes, no more duck-face! Fab, Mel, always fab, that's what you are.

  22. Ha! The male suit-discomforture depends on the man of course. You look spectacular in that grey and I'm absolutely stealing the faux-flowers-in-the-top-pocket thang.

    The boob-airer farkage reminds me of the au courant 'cold-shoulder' effect - where the shoulder is cut away from a perfectly serviceable garment for 'fashionable' effect. I think you should fringe the hem of that shirt to create a grinning skull effect.

    You have me curious to try a Dave Vanian old-skool white swoosh in my hair. I'm sure one could get a similar effect with toothpaste. And smell minty fresh too! Hurrah!


    Elaine Monkeypaints (foaming at the side parting)

    1. I said effect 3 times in that comment - and am wondering if its going to do something like what happens in Beetlejuice

  23. I've been so bored with my hair, so almost-gray but not really haha, that I might try your stuff. Sounds like fun!! Oooooh, so you've been pushing those manly buttons, have you? Good guuurrrrl!!!! I'd love to know what those same men would say about the cut out boobs t-shirts. Some raucous commentary with questions as to why you layered them, no doubt. Bless their hearts.

    I was enthralled with your artistic presentation, as always. Someday I'd love to sit down with you and see how you work your tech magic. I love it all. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  24. I like the idea of this gel, thanks for this. But...the suit! It's fabulous! xx

  25. I'm very much drawn to men's suits and I have one in my closet. I used to wear it to work, of course with a hat. I may have to pull it out and take a look.

    The hair gel looks fabulous on you and love the white eyebrows. Who could possibly resist?

  26. I have to find some of that hair gel! I love the ghostly pale Melanie, with your lips pursed into a small "O" of surprise.

    That is a pretty fab suit, and it's interesting that it generates hostile vibes from men. Maybe they are just pissed that they didn't find an Armani suit in a thrift store? I can definitely picture you as the lead singer in an 80's band in that outfit - instead of David Byrne and the "Big Suit", you are Mel and her "small suit".

  27. ubber coool.. love it!!
    My Fashion Blog:AMWFashion

  28. Just picture the man that wore that suit! It probably was a woman. I mean, do they make men like that? Regardless, you're absolutely fabulous in it. Just needs a touch of a white moustache, don't ya think, like pencil thin...ahhhhh

  29. The Armani suit looks like it was tailored to your exact specifications of funkiness. It's quite impressive and so are you, as usual.
    Ooooooo!!!Are you going to fark it up or leave it in it's pristine Armaniness?
    "Surrendering to the chaos" illicits great calm, followed by authentic mouth drooping.
    Rock on Mel.

  30. adorable outfits, but my fav is the wear it so well!


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