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Saturday 24 December 2016

Did you come to my holiday party?

If you were at my bloggy holiday party, you probably don't even remember - that's how good it was. But I hope you at least remember what I WORE!! - this divoon vintage, ivory crepe wool gown with a mink collar - a gift from an estate. I think the original owner had it custom-made - it even has pockets. Long black gloves, black tights, and glitter platform booties completed the look.

Of course as Grand Hostess I was worried about carrying the evening off, but within an hour I knew I had nothing to fear: the French-style-loving bloggers had already hopped up onto the bar and begun disrobing and belting out bawdy German songs off key.

The lifestyle/home decor bloggers in attendance kept turning the other music off and on (which really pissed off my mariachi band) for their game of musical chairs/couches/tables while rating my furniture on its design, craftsmanship, durability, and comfort.

Below I am practising my Psycho face for later in the evening.

The food bloggers hung out at the buffet and in the washrooms. They couldn't get over my Ritz cracker and Spam canapes. Like fine wine they would nibble, spit, then quickly swill the dregs of any beverage within reach, yelling, "Oh my god! Oh my god!" I had no idea theses canapes would be so popular - I'm thinking now I should do a food blog.

The fingermouthing trendy set took advantage of the hair-mussing station I had installed with industrial fans and the photo booth, which included a Where's Waldo map on the floor to help prevent gaze fatigue. Below I rehearse my own new fingermouthing pose for the photo booth. Look away if it's too hot. Seriously, soon all +40 women will be doing this - it's a look that says, "Hellz yeah, I'm frickin' hot. Leave me the feck alone. Got any Advil?" The wisdom of aging.

Thankfully, coat check service was not required with the continuing trend of wearing one's winter coat falling off, which was ideal for dusting my floors and mopping up around the buffet.

The vintage and thrift bloggers basically spent the night raiding the closets looking for old stuff. I had to referee a couple of brawls among them, which was the highlight of the party for me, that and joining in a few Marlene Dietrich tunes with the French-style-loving bloggers on the bar. The beauty bloggers were so impressed with our hairstyles after the brawls that they joined in the fun.

In the next photo I am about release a few unruly guests from lockup. Is it coming back to you at all? Hm? Might I suggest a few more canapes to re-volt your memory?

I took most of these photos of my party outfit in the garbage room atelier before the guests started arriving. Because I was using flash photography, the room was pitch black. When I sat on the big styrofoam bag, second photo, I suddenly started to sink as the containers beneath me gave way with an eruption of cracking sounds like a Canadian ice-breaker valiantly cutting a passage across the frozen Arctic. I maintained my composure, however, despite the heels, a general lack of mobility, the gown, not being able to see a thing, and my sinking masthead.

HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A SPECTACULAR HOLIDAY - if this is something you celebrate, of course. XO

I am linking up with Catherine's #iwillwearwhatilike on her blog Not Dressed as Lamb.


  1. If anyone knows how to throw a party it's YOU! Fab dress and boots. How generous of the donor but picking you to have the dress was brilliant.

  2. You are super fabulous!
    Happy holidays, Melanie xox

  3. *wiping tears of laughter* Must have been a fabulous party! (Can't remember.) Love you, Melanie! Merry-Merry!!

  4. I absolutely LOVE that you are in the trash room. The BEST parties usually happen there. I just love your writing and your style and your perky hair and well, gosh, EVERYTHING Melanie!!! I was actually there. I was completely nude, wearing a vintage lampshade on my head so you probably didn't recognize me. Gosh, it was rather chilly.

  5. That sounds like some party! I wish I could have been there...

    Your dress is beautiful and the fur collar is just fabulous - is the dress 50s or 60s do you think? I loved your shawl/wrap too - just perfect with the dress.

    Happy festive season, Mel!

  6. OOh, it's all coming back to me now - this explains why my fur coat is embedded with Spam. Love your outfit, love your poses, adore you! Merry Everything, dear Mel! All the best to you and O for a happy holidaze.

  7. best holiday party ever!! you are the hostess queen!! i still have to wrestle with my hangover.....
    and of cause you wore the most fab outfit!!!!!
    love you! xxxxxx

  8. I'm sure this whole post was faboo, but I got stuck on the part about that magnificent dress having pockets. Totally, totally brilliant.

  9. I forget most things beyond the current day, so I may well have been there. Did I misbehave? Did I remember to wear something outrageously gorgeous too? Were these my sparkling booties? If so, could you please pack them up and return?
    Have a fab festive time x

  10. Dahling you looked divine. Everybody said so. And to me you looked regal. For some reason my memory of the party is totally in black and white. Imagine my surprise when I saw this post. Was the party in black and white? Was it not the consequence of my binge drinking? (You had hired some terrific cocktail mixers.) To be frank I don't remember anything anymore after those gorgeous guys took off their clothes on the improvised stage. Tell me.. did I behave? Or .... not?

  11. I think I remember your party, especially the delicious food! Spam with Advil, Cheetos with bean dip, sangria made with Thunderbird. I woke up with orange fingers and purple teeth, but at least I didn't have any muscular pain!

    Really, that outfit is divine and it is so you! I can't imagine anyone else would do it justice. You must take it to more parties!

  12. Amazing,creative and wonderful artist- are YOU !

  13. B and B, what a beautiful dress...I wonder if that type of fabric is even made anymore? Looks like a fabulous party and so sorry to not remember a look fabulous too....happy celebrations!

  14. Oh dear, and to think I was so busy wrapping the Fair Isle socks I was re-gifting that I missed my shot at singing on the bar!! You are the Hostess With The Mostess, everyone says so!! And Ritz crackers with Spam are the next It heard it here first!

  15. You find such fabulous, well made vintage fashion treasures, like the commando of wool gabardine that you are. That dress is so lovely.
    Gawd! All of that Styrofoam did not come from cast off Spam containers!!I know because they make that mystery meat right here in Minnesota! You really know how to think outside the box when it comes too backdrops. There is something creepy about this one though. Maybe because that foam will outlive us all..

  16. Who would have thought they made vegan Spam! I was delighted!

    Finger mouthing is beyond me, but hair-mussing is a cinch. I have cut off all of my winter coat buttons so that I can achieve the fall-cleaning thing without dropping my vegan Spam canape.

    Thank you for giving us all the hints, tips and Spam to carry forward into 2017.

    My interior designer is in full-flow to produce my very own in-house garbage zones.

    An inspiration as always, darling.

    Sincerely yours

    Elaine Monkeypaints xx

  17. mwhahah, the best Hostess ever, and the best party!!! spam, styrofoam, and lots of fabulousness! that's my kind of party!

  18. Haha!Oh, how I wish I could remember that faaaaabulous party, darling! and sorry for brawling over the vintage goodies. I promise to keep my fingers well away from my mouth, and... what the heck is advil anyway?! Oh, and I'll help clean up next time. Pinky promise :)

  19. You give the best parties, which is why I can't remember a thing. Thankful that you posted about it all. Now I know where the fabulous new vintage pieces are stashed in my closet.

    You're always the best Melanie. Can't wait for your New Year's soiree.

  20. Damn! I have no recollection of this whatsoever, which tells me it must have been a stellar party. I know that ALL of the BEST people must have been there. I love that dress, especially the mink collar, which I would have been petting all night (maybe I did?).

  21. Smashing into the Styrofoam iceberg was the best. I'm sure we were on the Titanic, wasn't that it? There was alotta rocking and rolling going on. I mean, I still feel a bit woozy. Anyway you look absolutely divine in your party dress, now that I can see it clearly. Carry on, dear one, carry on.

  22. the party was fab. I don't remember a thing

  23. You are so wonderful! Definitely the best party I've ever forgotten.

  24. Is it too late to say HAPPY NEW YEAR!?? I've been keeping up with you on Instagram for the last 3 weeks but IG does just doesn't give full satisfaction - whereas as this - your informative, creative, crazy, fabulous blog - lets me feel alive! And the photos are bigger than on the phone!! xx


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