Ode to Lena Dunham

Such a brou-ha-ha-ha. Vogue put Lena Dunham, writer and star of the wildly popular TV series Girls, on its cover with a Photoshopped image. Gasp! As if Vogue doesn't tweak every featured celebrity in its pages. Put me in Vogue and you can airbrush, squinch, and boobize me all you want. The inestimable fun of seeing me for realsie is really only the domain of friends and family. Even then, the degree of realsie-ness is dictated by the heavy-handedness of the intelligence-boosting eye shadow smeared across my eyelids or shape of vexing brow I drew on that particular morning or even perhaps the miraculous qualities of a Mighty Foundation Garment.

This photo I took, called importantly "Cat Head 1" (completely unretouched in one of my other dimensions of existence), addresses a photo of Ms. Dunham balancing a bird on her head, wearing an incredible feather-featured dress. The photo's location, Ms. Dunham's body parts, and even the bird have all been shuffled to create a striking final image. I don't care HOW they did it; I enjoy looking at the final result. And importantly, Ms. Dunham enjoys the final result as well. (I've included links for them below)

Look at my heeled runners! Bwa-ha-ha.

Wearing

• thrifted vintage pink and gold lurex brocade mini shift, I fixed the zipper last night. There are two invisble pockets in the front. Dreamy!
• black jeggings
• thrifted rubber-soled high-heel running-type shoes with metallic gold & black patterned canvas upper
• thrifted black long-sleeved top under the dress
• shaggy coat made from the rare green swamp-dwelling mountain goat of Iceland
• performance-enhancing bright pink lipstick
• magic loupe and magic bracelet, latter seen below, hardly, made for me by O

That's another photo of me, again, unretouched in another dimension. This photo shows that the dress is sleeveless - that's all. I am certain it will spark a furious debate in that existence as well. 

There are many SERIOUS issues in this discussion about Ms. Dunham, which I am joyfully sidestepping so I could bring you "Cat Head 1" guilt-free. Maybe if I drank tea for breakfast instead of coffee, I would argue in the opposite direction, but I had coffee. I learned about this media panic from Sally's Lovely Links on Jan. 24 on her blog Already Pretty (she always has the best links). Her link took me to the blog Feministe which summarized what was going on and linked to the Vogue photos, and, circuitously, to Ms. Dunham's unretouched photos. Sheesh!!

I'm linking to Patti's marvelous Visible Monday at Not Dead Yet Style. I've been working, taking breaks only long enough to stuff food in my face, skip to the loo, and sleep. The momentum has slowed but my mind hasn't adjusted yet. I'm hoping for a soft landing.

So how about you, tea or coffee? Lurex, curiously, has the sustaining qualities of caffeine.

I'll spare you my singing. Below are the new lyrics to that tired famous song. You can watch Barbra Streisand sing it on YouTube (can't stand to put the video here with the real lyrics).

He Retouched Me

He retouched me, he put his mouse on me

And he retouched me

I felt a sudden squinch when he retouched me

A sparkle, a glow

He KNEW it,

He smiled but didn't tell me so all through it

He knew it - I KNOW

He's unreal and the world is online and thriving

I feel such a wonderful drive to advertisin'

He retouched me

I simply have to face the fact

He retouched me

Control myself and try to act

as if I remember my name

But he retouched me, he retouched me

And suddenly nothing is the same

Because he retouched me, he retouched me

And suddenly nothing, nothing, nothing is the same!

(You'd be surprised how few changes I made to these lyrics)

Capelet-under-cape capers

This is for Anne's 52-Pick-me-up: Holiday Ornaments and Mixed Metals at Spy Girl.

A demure school girl, I clutch my little lunchbox packed with airline drinkie bottles and leftover canapes (and nippies) squished in plastic wrap. Today on my way to class, Pole Dancing for Clergy 101, I had the above photo taken for my License To Wear (LTW) Class IV Pointed Collar Permit, having graduated from the compulsory one-month national intensive training course. Still in the learner category, I must avoid high winds and sudden spinning action for a year. 

Wearing:

• thrifted vintage midi wool knit cape with Class IV pointed collar
• awesome black lurex capelet, gift from the magnificent Curtise
• thrifted blue lurex dress
• retail bronze/black glitter tights
• retail black glitter booties with vintage kimono laces (gift)
• thrifted indigo beret
• tool box handbag from O
• magic loupe from O
• thrifted long-sleeved black under-T

Did I pick you up? I picked me up! Good prompt, Anne; good timing too. I was feeling particularly shiny today with daydreams of popping nippies and cracking open baby champers under a dance hall glitter ball. Do you have an LTW or ever been caught without one?! 

Lurex in the alley

As the bouncer of this back-alley speak-easy I should practise looking more formidable. I'm afraid this look says, "Um, don't come in here, okay? You're so tall and your brass knuckles are making me anxious. Don't make me step outside my comfort zone, please? You'll regret it? Grrr." I was loathe to brace myself against the walls because I had not brought any handiwipes and I'm simply not getting paid enough to do so.

Details

• powder-blue lurex dress, thrifted
• powder-blue beret, thrifted
• ivory bamboo tights, retail
• long-sleeved white T, sample sale
• patterned socks, retail
• falling-apart booties, retail
• magic pendant, made for me by O
• other neck stuff, thrifted

After my 18-hour shift and time out for good behaviour, my boss gave me ten minutes for a lovely lunch of day-old peanut butter and jelly on white bread at the abandoned car lot across the way.

After my long shift, it's no wonder I had to punch up these photos with photo editing, which I don't normally do for my outfit posts other than contrast adjustments to compensate for poor indoor lighting.

My booties are almost done and I wear them with the attitude, "Hey, I LIKE them like this." The stretchy coating is peeling off the uppers, the seams are coming unsewn at the back, and I've had the heel taps replaced several times. There's nothing left to do but paint these suckers. I tried marker on the right boot just before I went out, but paint will work best.

I'm hooking this outfit up to Patti's Visible Mmmmonday at Not Dead Yet Style. Yeeeeah. I'm tired after my long shift so if you wouldn't mind just strapping that backpack of Long Island Iced Tea to my back and sticking the straw in my mouth I would be much obliged. See you there through bleary eyes. (Okay, not really. I'm fine, although recovering from a weekend photo safari, Sandra's term.)

Photo Editing Details if you're interested:

Junkyard photo:

• blurred and de-coloured some of the background which creates depth and focus on the foreground
• saturated colour on me and the foliage, especially on my socks, necklace, and lipstick
• adjusted the brightness and contrast

Bouncer photo:

• same as above except for I didn't blur and desaturate the background

I never "fix" my wrinkles or play with my eyes unless it's part of an overall filter - it feels too cheaty. These changes may not be easily detectable at first glance, but what you see is unnatural in real life, for example, the fence is very blurry and it's less than a foot behind me, not to mention the nearly black-and-white world in the background, but sometimes that's more real-feeling than I can stand. Depending on the time spent, any mediocre photo can be elevated with tweaking. So don't sweat your VOGOFF photos; editors here are standing by.

I decided to do this shoot outdoors by myself with my tripod, which I have only done a couple of times, but I see so many of you braving the public alone I decided to go for it. Except for the eyes of several highrises upon me, I was alone. I was safe, I liked the challenge, and I like the results. What can be better than that?

Jumpin' jacquard, luscious lurex, and twirling tulips

I have some special pieces I've been longing to show you in real life, but since that hasn't happened yet I decided to do a photo shoot last night. How much fun was that? - especially with these garments...

First up is a maxi skirt which I received from gorgeous Curtise of The Secondhand Years who got it from Terri from Rags Against the Machine in a circuitous transcontinental effort. (In this same package of love I also received a fabulous velvet maxi dress with a lacy sewn-in blouse featuring leg-of-mutton sleeves, here. Can you believe its amazingness?) Here is the skirt, first in closeup and then how I styled it.

Details

• vintage maxi jacquard skirt with rear zip/button enclosure, gift from Curtise and Terri
• jacquard vest, hand-me-over, downsized three sizes
• vintage jacquard jacket, thrifted, home-made (the price tag said "Mad Hatter at the Tea Party")
• aubergine silk blouse, hand-me-over, many sizes too big
• red wool beret, thrifted
• brown crackle leather Miu Miu boots, thrifted
• blue brooch, craft fair, sold as hat adornment

I wore a variation of this outfit a couple of weeks ago but was unable to photograph it that day even though I felt bee-yoo-ti-ful in it. The jacket is heavy like upholstery fabric - it can almost stand up on its own - and the skirt doesn't have any vents in the bottom which meant I had to take feminine steps thereby enhancing my wearing pleasure. My approach to this outfit was, if I'm going to wear one piece of jacquard, why not wear all my pieces at once? I call this "Runaway Chesterfield." (I always get confused between brocade and jacquard - I hope my use here is correct...)

The next piece I received in the same package. It is an absolutely delicious lurex capelet, special from Curtise. Oooh, she knows my heart well.

Details:

• crappy dreamy shoes, retail, with vintage kimono-strip laces, gift from my friend Sharron
• glitter bronze tights, retail
• lurex dress, thrifted
• lurex capelet, Curtise
• red wool beret, thrifted
• black long-sleeve under-T, thrifted

I haven't worn this ensemble out yet because the shoes, worn only once, already need sole reinforcement, hence the "crappy" descriptor, but this outfit is DEFINITELY an incentive to get that done. The capelet is very cool because it has little sleeve openings sewn into it. I would  need to wear a wrap or shawl of some kind over it for outdoors, thus adding to the drama and glamour of the sparkles.

And the finale, ta-dah, this is a gorgeous maxi dress with a tulip motif and beret which I received from awesome Ariane of Style Sud-Est.

Isn't this dress divine? At first I wasn't sure how to style it - the bodice is attached to the skirt in a zig-zag line you can barely make out in the first photo - but when I added the belt everything fell magically into place. This dress is so filmy and dreamy; it's the most fun to twirl in. You should hear the swishy sound. And the green beret, I have to thank Ariane for reintroducing me to this beautiful colour! I love it now with my white hair. The denim jacket turns this into daywear but the delicate hemline requires dry sidewalks. Thank you, Ariane!

That's all. Sorry for such a long post. I have woken up every day wondering if this is THEE day for any of these outfits and I'm glad I have finally photographed them to share with you. So hugs to Curtise and Terri and Ariane for making possible this post and my happiness wearing these amazing pieces.

When you're stumped by how to style an outfit where does you mind go first: scissors? scarves? belts? donation bin? I was tempted to shorten the dress and I'm so GLAD I resisted!!