Safety wear for the stylish woman

We were walking in tandem, me on one side of the fence, the construction guy on the other. He looked over and said, "That could be a safety vest."

I replied, "Yes, it is!"

Well, technically it's a life jacket so I get double the protection of a mere vest.

This paillette jacket protects me from psychic debris. Whew. There is so much of it around!

With my construction gear I'm wearing my rockstar pants, which are thrifted low-riders that I upcycled with Sharpie markers and acrylic paint, featured several times on Bag'n'B. They were noticed by Paul Stanley of the band KISS the first time I wore them. I was in a shoe store and oblivious to his presence, but my friend Sandra of standard.deviations clued me in later. I'm bummed that I didn't get the chance to ask him for pointers on how to wear platform boots with aplomb and his favourite makeup remover. I love that guy!

And I'm wearing my upcycled T-shirt, "I am my own brand," which I would change to "I am NOT a brand" if I were to do it again. Those are my super-duper discounted Topshop platform sandals.

Below I'm raising my arms to the universe. I was in the concrete studio but I digitally edited myself into a photo I took of the beach the other day.

Schlep schlep schelp schelp seems to be the little cartoon sound of my feet as they release from the hard reality suction of the concrete sidewalk. Each step schlep. How tiresome. This is also why safety gear is a top priority. One must never get sucked in by hardness!

Other protective construction pieces I wore recently.

That outfit features a vintage dress with a tulip hem. It's a fairly substantial brocade fabric, fully lined, too big and heavy for a dress, so I snipped it up the front and turned it into a coat. The sparkly owl pendant is from Patti of Not Dead Yet Style.

And I almost always go out with one of my parasols from Lily-Lark.

Below are my "safety" glasses, which I got from Vint & York in New York. They make me feel like a psychiatrist with panache and a love of the arts. Don't ask me why. Sandra, standard.deviations, thrifted that Maison Martin Margiela for H&M wool darted jacket. Sweeeet. Ever grateful to her.

And of course, I also wore this:

And then when I get home I unwind with Kitty.

Those are the highlights of my week, my friends. Remember: Always suit up. Always protect yourself from those harmful rays of negativity.

I'm linking up to Patti at Not Dead Yet Style for Visible Monday and Catherine at Not Dressed as Lamb for #iwillwearwhatilike.

What do you use for safety gear?!

Three looks for a savage woman

That's right: three looks, no rules. Why? Because I'm SAVAGE!

Look 1: Double expansion pants for Candyland

A land of cakes and ice cream! But, uh oh, not nearly enough elastic-waisted pants before laundry day. What to do! How can I possibly accommodate such an ungodly chow-down?

Fabulous Anna of Anna's Island Style to the rescue. She sent me two pairs of trousers quite a while ago, and I'd say they fit very well if you don't mind losing all your circulation. Since I like circulation and eating, I decided to convert these pants - one pair in a beautiful soft, brown wool plaid and the other in a vivid zig-zaggy blue - into one pair of pants double size.

I chopped the brown pants down the sides, then inserted side panels from the blue pants to turn these slim-leg trousers into one pair of wide-leg wonders. To finish them off, I sewed the blue rear patch pockets onto the front. With a little hemming, these pants were done. Pocket artefacts in the blue panels are just wide enough to hold a pen. Handy!

Now I LOOOOVE these trousers. Although the fabric has stretch, they hang freely so I have lots of room for cake and ice cream. Thank you, Anna!

My top you might remember from an earlier post - I combined two t-shirts and a blue sweater into one top. The sleeves are extra long, but, because I designed two more sleeve holes higher up, the top can also be worn short sleeved with the excess fabric at the elbow free for dramatic whipping about and cursing when they dip into your coffee mug. The back of the top is longer than the front for fantastic rear coverage.

Look 2: Lurid waddle pants

Moving along. These are my Marni for H&M lurid lurex pants bought from a consignment shop, also farked with the addition of a racing stripe down the side for curbside appeal and expansion. (Am I noticing a trend here?!!!) The top is a vintage thrift find.

The above photo is called, drum roll please, Savage Lurid Moon Walk with Elephant. The pants are slightly drop crotch. I would call the original design a partial fail because you are forced to do a mini shuffle when you walk due to inadequate fabric in the crotchal area. But wearing these is still worth the waddle.

Note the facial expressions. That's my normal face. My blank face. My I'm-just-standing-here-waiting-for-the-camera face, perhaps elevated by the messy hair into the realm of fake rockstar.

The next photo is the one I shall put on Instagram. I had to show you the version with the shades.

Look 3: So short it hurts you

And the grand finale of this post, my mini dress. Does its scandalicious shortness wound your delicate style-rule sensibilities? How short is it? It's soooo short that I have to keep tugging it down to cover the solid band of colour at the top of these glitter tights - it's so bad it's good, and perfect for being part of The Savage 50, feck yeah.

I'm also wearing my thrifted over-the-knee caramel boots, vintage I believe, softest leather, made in Italy. I was delighted and surprised that they fit my ankles and calves so well. These boots were DEFINITELY made for walkin'.

Isn't she AMAZING! - I'm speaking of Nancy Sinatra of course, "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'." This is exactly how I feel when I step out in this last outfit, well, when I wear many of my outfits. Often this song plays in my head when I'm on my inspiration walks around town. I can see now that my dress is not nearly short enough. Heh.

I hope all of you have outfits that make you feel this good, whether it's a mini dress or a pantsuit, whether you're out walkin' or lounging in the La-Z-boy with a martini. If you don't, what are you waiting for?!! Get on it!! Hahaha. Let your savage heart run free.

I'm linking one of these up to Patti at Not Dead Yet Style, Visible Monday, and Catherine at Not Dressed as Lamb, #iWILLwearwhatilike, absolutely.