Thursday, 21 May 2015

Who wore it better? Outfit outrage!

Transcript: "Who Wore it Better?!"
Episode 2: "Two Celebrities Duke it Out"
Location: Schtellar Studios, Miz Bagg Network, Burbank, California, USA

Show Host - Helen: Time to sharpen your claws, Ladies, for another thrilling episode of - say it with me - [audience joins in]:
WHO WORE IT BETTER?!
[applause]
Today we have Melanie and Turnip Head who embarrassingly showed up at the Miz Bagg Universal Universe Awards in the SAME OUTFIT. Quel faux pas, darlings! [laughter, boos] I mean reeally!

Melanie Kobayashi of Bag and a Beret and Turnip Head in outfit scandal!
Turnip Head, left, and Melanie, right, caught in outfit scandal!! Who wore it better?!
You'll have seen the red carpet footage. [murmuring] Talk about a barroom brawl! [applause, whistles] Each claimed to be wearing a Miz Bagg original and accused the other, in shockingly unintelligible expletives, of a straight-up style rip-off. [oooh] Miz Bagg, who was seen filming the fight on her iPhone, declined comment.
The rowing duo eventually lurched screaming and sobbing into the restroom where the smackdown continued. [OOOH] When they emerged, they were disheveled and entangled in toilet paper, which, thanks to Miz Bagg's keen eye, has become today's hottest look. [applause, whistles]

We're lucky to have both Turnip Head and Melanie with us in the studio to dish it direct. Please, let's give it all up for Ms. Turnip Head! [enthusiastic applause, cheering]

Turnip Head enters and sits in the guest chair.

Thank you for joining us, Ms. Head. Could you tell us in your own words what happened?  Did you have the dress first? How do you think Melanie looked in it?

Turnip Head: Yesh, that Melanie is just a little human slave of the Evil One. [sniff] She thinks she is so hot. But I had my outfit FIRST! She looked like, like...like cabbage! [oooh]
Turnip Head goes wild, Bag and a Beret
Melanie, waiting offstage, bursts on set

Melanie: Why you smirking little vegetable. We know I had mine first. I even bought that robe thingy when I met Suzanne and Sue at our blogger meetup. Hey, I think I have a vegetable peeler in my toolbox handbag somewhere. Maybe you'd like to meet my friend Julienne. [OOOH]

Camera zooms in on toolbox handbag-
BBQ chips, a dirty sweat sock, unwrapped candies with hair stuck on them. 

Turnip Head: Oh, yeah? R-r-really? Look who's talking, the loser, capital L, who nobody complimented your stinkin' frankened Desigual dress. [Ooooh]

Melanie: I said I don't care about that! Don't you even check my Twitter, starch ass?

Turnip Head: Oh yeah? Well, well, y-you know what? You're not even on Twitter...!!!

Turnip Head and Melanie lunge at each other. 
Muffled oofs and aaahs. 
Audience laughter, screaming, scuffling, camera black out.
Cut to commercial for Dentabone doggy tooth whitening treats.

Debriefing after the show at Melanie's home:
Mel Kobayashi of Bag and a Beret in Turnip Head outfit
I wore it first! (love my hair here) But Turnip Head definitely wore it better.
This is in fact the long cover-up I bought the day I met Suzanne and Sue on our blogger meetup, the garment I had my eye on for two years. Because the maxi dress under it is a bit too long, I have to belt and bunch it as much as possible, and wear heels besides. This dress I'll hem. Wearing it I felt like I was on a red carpet, well, maybe a purple one.

Details: 
  • thrifted aqua cover-up with sequins along the scalloped edges 
  • thrifted aqua long-sleeve maxi dress with matching gauzy under-dress
  • thrifted Miu Miu biker boots
  • DIY bug pendant
  • garbage-room-find dainty necklace 
  • thrifted chain belt, thrifted vintage leather belt 
  • gifted vintage earrings, thrifted vintage sunglasses, and magic loupe. 
Off the record, Turnip Head and I didn't fight at all. That was just sneaky show biz promoting Miz Bagg's new TP style. We used the gift certificate Miz Bagg paid us on a lovely lunch at McDonald's (I paid the difference). I don't carry a veggie peeler in my toolbox handbag either. As for the other stuff, you'll never know.

Have you ever been caught in a scandalous identical outfit situation? I don't get it. If it were a financial argument, yeah, maybe, but it always seems to be about Who wore it better? If we really want something serious to debate, how about this: bananas - can you really peel them from the bottom?


32 comments:

  1. Your story telling is beyond brilliant!

    Sad news today, and I needed a laugh, and a good dose of reality versus unreality.

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  2. Haaaa!!! I have to say Melanie wore it better because she is tall, slender and made it look like an Oscars acceptance outfit. Turnip head is too short so it looked like little girl in nightie and dressing gown!!!!

    X

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  3. Melanie wore it better 'cos she has attitude. Turnip head looks a bit too demure and Mother-of-the-Bride.
    Never had that dilemma - the joy of vintage. xxxxx

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  4. Yes. Oh, what? sorry, that was the banana question... who wore it better? well I'm distracted by the thought of that smack down in the restroom. which must've been like two sparkly Elsa's from frozen slugging it out. I totally want to witness that one! hells yeah!

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  5. The "DIY bug pendant" makes me smile!

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  6. You seem to have tons of self distance. That's great!

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  7. I admire Turnip Head's chutzpah to go against you, but you wore it better. You have the height and the sass, amongst other useful stuff, to take the turquoise and run with it (but carefully, so you don't trip).

    I went to a fashion show at the museum here in London and I just got in the door when I saw another woman I knew, about 10 years older than I am, wearing the exact same dress as me. Needless to say, it was not vintage, or that wouldn't have happened. We had both styled it differently and had a good laugh about it.

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  8. hahahahahahahaha!

    I've tried that TP idea when out on a bender. It's not as sexy as you'd think.

    I can tell you, from experience...you can peel bananas from the bottom, but not as well. Besides, if you carry a vegetable peeler you can always use that. LOL

    I think when we're at the blogger meet-up we need to make everyone empty out their handbags on the table. I wonder what treasures/secrets we'd uncover!

    I recognized this fabulous vest right away!

    I have been at shows when I was selling my jewellery where a customer was wearing the exact same dress as me. That was years ago and part of the reason I stopped shopping at H&M. The dress was from there. It was like I'd found my long lost twin at the show. We didn't smack each other down, in fact I think we took a photo together! LOL It was weird though.

    That is in the end why vintage/thrifted/consignment store clothing holds such appeal (banana or otherwise (snort)) you don't need to worry about someone showing up in the same outfit.

    I adore your posts and art. They always put a smile on my face!

    bisous
    Suzanne

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  9. How talented you are on so many fronts! One of the great things about vintage or re-sale shopping is that you generally don't encounter anyone wearing what you wear. Aside from Ms. Turnip Head I's wager a guess you never do.

    Accidental Icon
    http://www.accidentalicon.com

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  10. Why would you even want to peel a banana from the bottom? Wouldn't one's fingers get all icky?

    Miz Baggz is clearly the winner - with that hair! I love your coif, and you look stunning in that pale 70s aqua.

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  11. Oh Melanie, thank you for a good portion of giggles! You both are brilliant, Turnip Head and you! Can't forget Miz Bag either! Bravo, bravo!!!

    This is such a fancy artistic ensemble. The lace duster is amazing! Your skills finding and combining all these interesting items into your own one of a kind outfits is beyond my comprehension at the moment. You are so free. Genius! xxxx

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  12. Haven't had the experience, but it's the stuff of nightmares!

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  13. Hahaha, this was sheer entertainement! Laughed my head off. When I was about 23, I went into a bar where there were mainly proper, a bit right winged boys and girls. All wearing, marine, grey, brown and black.
    I wore a bright fuchsia blouse and a bright multi coloured skirt. Brand new. And there was another girl who wore exactly the same. Two butterflies in a dark ocean. Now, what are the odds of that?
    We just kept away from each other, felt ridiculous and that was it. Awkward.
    And bananas should be eaten horizontally by good girls. You do know that, do you?
    Outfit is perfect. You are a queen. I hope they recogized that.
    Greetje

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  14. I was attending the very upscale Georgetown University graduation week festivities, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was a lady wearing the same dress as mine, which - btw - cost about $30 on sale at Land's End. We hugged each other.

    Oh, and back in high school, my cousin and I wore the same outfit to the party where we both got hammered for the first time.

    I think it's a lovely compliment!

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  15. Beautiful, beautiful blue, http://gray50plus50dresses.blogspot.com

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  16. Actually I think it would be perfectly wonderful if we all dressed like this. So floaty and flowy and oceany and sky-y. But of course, nobody would wear it as well as you do!!!

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  17. This story reminds me of my senior prom. I was wearing the same dress as my high school enemy! Of all the nerve she had showing up like that. Hey, as I'm remembering it those dresses flouncy and flowy too. Thanks for making me laugh!!

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  18. "Bitch stole my dress!" :-)
    R.I.P. Joan Rivers

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  19. stunning combo - into long cardigans myself these days...

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  20. Applause for a fine yarn (story telling). When I worked in a school I arrived one morning to find a gorgeous slim young blonde teacher had the identical skirt on. Before she could gasp in horror I rocked up to her and said that we were the before and after looks for said skirt. She was what I was like when younger and I was what she could be when she got older!! We linked arms and headed off to assembly laughing because we knew all the females in the school would notice the 'same same' skirt thing!!! Did we care? Not on your life!! As to who wore it better, it was a draw!

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  21. Nope that's never happened to me. But I once found the blouse I was wearing at a thrift store, in the same size. The one I was wearing was second hand too.

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  22. Scandalous behaviour! I love it! ''She looks like cabbage'', you are hilarious! you both are divine, the outfit clearly is perfect for 2 diva's to shine independently of each other, your hair is totally fab and you are totally gorgeous - only once have I wore the same thing as another (must be a million years ago) she didn't find it funny, I did, because it was! x x x

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  23. I quite alright with the happenings here and I feel like I am a better person now for experiencing it!

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  24. You didn't really carry a vegetable peeler? Ah, darn. Does that mean you didn't really say "Maybe you'd like to meet my friend Julienne?" Cause that was hilarious! Oh, well, it was all for fun, and french fries. You look lovely in aqua, so you definitely wear it better. I love your updo, too!

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  25. brilliant!!!! the writing and your outfit!!!!
    since i´m very "schrullig" with my clothes choices i never had such scandal - who wants to look like a east european refugee ca. 1947?????
    ;-P
    xxxxxxxxxx

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  26. Melanie all the way. Little Miss TH hasn't quite got your panache!
    I can't say I have ever had an identical outfit situation, thank goodness. Probably because no one else would be seen dead wearing the stuff I like, hahahaha! And long may that continue! xxx

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  27. LOL-Melanie always wins, though I do rather like Miss Turnip Head. She is very ultra mode with her extra large head. Is she perhaps a cousin of the Bratz girls? That might explain a few things.

    On a briefly serious note: the Who Wore it Better features are a shockingly accepted instance of yet another way to pit women against other women so I don't read them and might find that a good reason to be glad my dentist seems to stock mainly McLeans and Car and Driver.
    xoxo

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  28. Melanie won this one, but who knows about the next one? I do like your outfit...maxi dresses are always fabulous...and paired with long coats/cardigans---absolutely fabulous!

    I don't think it ever happened to me that I wore an identical outfit as somebody else...I did see a girl wear a New Yorker dress that I own to a wedding, but I didn't happen to wear it that night, so there was no room for question 'who wore it better?'.

    On another note, I once saw a woman who looked shockingly similar to me and it was a weird experience. We could have been twins...same skin colour, same bump on the nose, same hair...I tell you it was uncanny! She did have a top that resembled one that I had...but again I didn't wore it then.

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  29. Ha ha! This really made me chuckle.
    Melanie wore it better, of course.

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  30. Soooooooooooooooooooo fabulous.
    Always a surprised, my dear Malenie.
    Nobody dresses like me, lol
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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  31. Apologies for being late, but I have to let you know Turnip Head is NO competition! You look absolutely fabulous in the outfit! The colour is fantastic on you, and so great to see the lace on pattern. The bug pendant is brilliant! A hazardous choice for a vegetable though - some bugs do eat vegetables, don't they?

    I've never been caught wearing the same outfit as anyone else. But that's no surprise, being a colour-lover living in a sea of black :-)

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