I was arrested by this siren-red thing drooping on the $5 rail as I did my regular thrift shop walk-by. What was it? Jammies? Undies? For exercise? For seduction? It was constructed well, but I finally bought it because it said The Norwegian Original and I have always admired Scandinavian countries.
It turns out this onesie by OnePiece is high-flyin' celeb style and this Slim Fit like mine retails for $149. The OnePiece site features countless photos of young music/film/TV stars wearing them (here), including Justin Bieber in a red one. Well, if he can wear one, so can I.
Of course, Bieber is fly, he's down.* I'm down and I can be a fly in training, which would make me, um, a maggot. Moving right along.
A winning feature of this garment is you can zip it right up over your face. Boo-yeeah! Think of all those bad hair days, zip and gone! The company is clearly missing a vital marketing opportunity in the middle-aged tween group of women who are maladjusted and will go to any lengths to conceal the signs of aging.
My fear of using the tripod in Stanley Park for this self-timer photo was I'd zip this onesie shut and not be able to unzip it. By the time I would have gnawed by way through the cotton, not only would my camera and tripod be gone, but I'd be surrounded by hoards of tourists filming the Canadian wildlife, which would be absurd - I'm only still a maggot.
I chose the park for these photos because I liked the quivering contrast between the urban street punk and tranquillity vibe, and between the red and green. (And in case I got lost - I'd be easier to find.)
My rating of this OnePiece? Tip-top. It was comfortable, except for a slight diaper-walk effect from the dropped crotch. There was a convenient bottom-up zip for emergencies - of what nature we can only speculate - and handy pockets at crotch level too. Yes. Well.
I think I should be on the celebrity page. I'm almost fly. I'm down, not today particularly because I had fun in the park, but sometimes I am. Please put me on the Celebrity Page.
Contact pr.usa@onepiece.com. (Just thought I'd throw that into the universe, heh.)
*I am not a fan of Bieber. I don't even know any of his songs. And this is NOT a sponsored post.
And I went out for lunch with my friend Sharron yesterday and afterwards we took photos. I've featured her before on my street style blog, here and here. This is one of my favourite shots from her iPhone; she encouraged me to post it and I love it, so here it is.
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| Photo by Sharron Burnard, 2015 |
I'm wearing the farked jacket from two posts ago with men's sailor pants, chain belt as a necklace, and magic loupe. I'm also wearing new lipstick courtesy of Sharron. THANK YOU! I LOVE IT! The Holt Renfrew woman put it on me professionally and I noticed the difference with my Crayola crayon approach.
And another red thing I saw at the park today:
Finally, a huge thank you to Debbie Iles at Lily Sage & Co. for featuring me on her Friday Showcase on the weekend. She is a wildly talented sewist and I was honoured to be on her blog. And thank you for your very kind, generous comments!
I hope you all have a fantastic weekend. And don't worry. After I become a onesie schtar I won't forget you. I better go practise getting down in the fly way now.
You have an eye for the quality piece Mel! I mean a SCANDINAVIAN ONESIE sported by the stars.... but none wear it with as much star quality as you my dear and yes you should be on the celeb page. I will start the social media campaign forth with #getmelononepiececelebpage #melonesie #melebrity
ReplyDeleteI love your writing! It's hilarious...I was literally laughing out loud as I read this post. The red onesie looks gorgeous on you...and the fact that it zips all the way makes is strangely awesome and cool:)
ReplyDeleteThe photos are fantastic, the contrast between the red onesie and the forest is a lovely one!
I also really like the photograph your friend took...and the lipstick you're wearing.
You.never fail to.make me giggle and smile. You make a onesie look stylish. Can't believe I'm saying those words. The forest in the park is a great backdrop and I'm v glad you weren't robbed!!!xxx
ReplyDeleteYou make that onesie look so cool (a mean feat). I think Bieber better watch his back! Hilarious post. I love the idea of you gnawing your way out of the onesie, Houdini esque xx
ReplyDeleteSo glad I found you via Lily Sage & Co. You are a riot and I adore your style and writing. Look forward to more
ReplyDeleteOuch ouch ouch. Sweden (especially small towns, I guess) are invarderad of these. I usually argue that it is the height of laziness to dress in Onepieces, but you look awesome in everything so I might have to announce that I am considering to withdraw my statement. Please don't combine sith theese: http://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crocs
ReplyDeleteAs comfy and fly as it looks on you Melanie, unless that bottom-up zipper goes all the way around to the back, I'm afraid a OnePiece isn't for me. I drink waaaay too much coffee for those kind of manoeuvrings every thirty minutes. LOVE that second photo! :)
ReplyDeleteHahaha, these photos made me laugh! I love the thought of your frolicking about in the undergrowth in a baggy-crotched onesie. Bieber wishes he could wear it as well as you! But be careful, getting that zip stuck could be a catastrophe...
ReplyDeleteLove Sharron's photo of you. xxx
Bwahaha! you are too too magnificent! Emulating the Beebs, well o-kay! The picture of the fire hydrant was just the cherry on the cake. I humbly bow down to your fabulosity.
ReplyDeleteHahaha...hilarious post again. And what a onesie!
ReplyDeleteI am larf larf larfing! You crack me up, Melanie!
ReplyDeleteThe convenient bottom zip - does it help a female use the toilet? Yep that is what this middle aged woman thinks about. Sigh.
BTW, you look great in red. Those photos are amazing.
This is hilarious! I love that you bought it because you've always admired Scandinavian countries! Maybe that is how I should shop now.
ReplyDeleteThe zipper is in a bit of a weird spot and directs my eyes *right there*. Maybe that is why Bieber likes it so much.
I've tried on a hoodie that zipped all the way up but had holes for the eyes. It looked like skull when it was zipped as there was a skeleton design was on the outside. I *almost* bought it. I figured it'd be a way to look the skinniest I've ever been. LOL
That shot with your leg out from behind the tree reminded me of Where The Wild Things Are.
That bottom photo needs to be on a tween magazine cover. The lippy looks GREAT! Is it only at Holt's?
bisous
Suzanne
Stanley Park has never been so adorned! You are one spunky maggot. I love that you went home and researched this piece. I almost bought a sock monkey onsie from the Salvation Army last week. When you see a one piece in an adult size it's just so tempting. I'm sure it's completely comfortable too.
ReplyDeleteThis only confirms your schtaritude! You are amazing as always, Mel!
ReplyDeleteYou are a goddess among maggots and no doubt you are THE Goddess of Stanly Park. A good replacement for the poor demented polar bears of my childhood. You are a goddess in a onesie and Bieber is NOT that. Also, you were made to wear red lips. Imagine for a moment how unlike you I look and then understand that in my head I thought I looked just like you. Now you know why I was so confused about dressing myself and why I kept getting my hair cropped. Onesies, are not made tall enough for me though so I would have camel toe instead of diaper droop.
ReplyDeleteSwooning over the perfection of red with a green tree backdrop.
xoxoxo
melanie! you are my star - bright onesie or not. this photos are fantastic - the contrast! and your text - sharp then ever!!!!
ReplyDeletelove! xxxxxx
Incredible ! genial minimalism. I'll follow you :)
ReplyDeleteHahahaha! I desperately needed this chuckle today - and I'm going to raise you on the red, to a glass of red wine to celebrate, both your amazing onesie, and the not-so-new house that we closed on today. It's been a stressful week of trying to get two banks from different countries to communicate with each other (both English speaking too mind you - perhaps Norwegian would have helped...).
ReplyDeleteYou find such interesting pieces! That jacket definitely makes me want to see more of it.
ReplyDeleteThe zipper pulls that are concentrated in the crotch area are rather eye-catching - aside from the crotch droop, I rather like this. I have a pair of red long underwear - if we both wore our red onsies, we could be Tween Thing One and Tween Thing Two! There are probably people who live near Stanley Park telling their friends that they saw a strange red creature frolicking in the forest.
ReplyDeleteOOOOOOOOOOO, that photo that Sharon took of you is the mostest, bestest, coolest ever. Now if that show was on the cover of a magazine I'd buy it for sure.
I'm not POSITIVE about this, but I think you could wear the farked jacket with the onesie. And you'd be one up on Bieber!
ReplyDeletedefinitely has that sexy aviator "Fly Boy" (think Top Gun) vibe...
ReplyDeleteDefinitely Original - just like You are! Great photos in the woods, such a contrast creates a wonderfully surreal feeling. Loved the portrait (and your friend Sharron is a unique individual indeed!). You are such a fantastic artist and writer, Melanie! Hugses! xxxxx
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in Stanley Park many moons ago, I never saw any red onesied maggots at all!
ReplyDeleteThanks for rectifying that today. I am content. Ahhh!
Why use such big zip pulls? These and other questions will be answered!...one day.
Just gorgeous!!!!!xo Jazzy Jack
Ha! love it all! the bad hair day zipped up onesie to conceal ageing is hilarious, could I put a hair piece on top though? nope, that would just ruin all of the fly elements required for beebs super coolness level - I clearly have been wearing my onesie wrong, it doesn't even have a facial zip and is terrifyingly too small, I'm not even a maggot *pah* LOVE all pics of you, and Sharron took a beautiful shot of you, that jacket, that lipstick, that pose, those eyes, divine x x x
ReplyDeleteoh, sweet Jesus, please pair that thing with a pair of Crocs! The two way zipper is a hoot
ReplyDeleteI could hardly wait for the post to open. i had to laugh from the moment that red onesie started to show in my mail. Whahaha.... that gave me a good laugh. Like Suzanne I was immediately drawn to the middle zipper and the crotch. I thought you had had an operation and now were a man. There was definitely something showing there.
ReplyDeleteAt Kingsday 2014 somebody tried to sell me a onesie. And I said : "never, ever"! But here you are making it ever so fashionable. Well.. no still "no thank you". But also thank you for making me laugh. Glad you were not arrested.
The tartan jacket is still awesome. The lipstick is exactly the same colour I think.
Greetje
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, tell me you put this on behind a tree in Stanley Park. The thought of you walking down Davie in this....well, now that I think of it...not so scary at all!
You are the best, and look the best...Sharron knows your angles and your colours! How sweet that she bought you a prezzie!
I feel that the crotch on that suit should come all the way down below the knees. Picture it...
ReplyDeleteYou do have fun, don't you?!
ReplyDeleteLove the red onesie in the park, such good contrasts of colour. I laughed at you gnawing your way out of the red thing to find your camera gone and tourists fascinated by you!!!
ReplyDeleteSeriously woman, you're the only person in the world who could make a onesie look good.
ReplyDeleteJustin Beiber wears one? Are you sure that's not a babygro? He's about 6, isn't he? x
You wear it better, that's for sure. Haha. ;) I love that it zips all the way up, too. Rad. :D
ReplyDelete- Anna
www.melodicthriftychic.com
If Justin Bieber can do it, anyone can. Such a unique & funky concept. The face zip & drop crotch are probably my favorite details. :]
ReplyDelete// ▲ itsCarmen.com ▲
Oh sweetie. Jumpsuit in the park!! You have the best eye for finding treasures, this one included. However, it makes me a little uncomfortable, having had a very unfortunate experience in a four seater airplane and a denim jumpsuit back in the 70's. But you have that special zipper!!! If only I'd had that or the wisdom to realize there was no restroom on the plane. Glad I'm older and wiser now. No little airplanes!!! Or jumpsuits.
ReplyDeleteGlad you and the inimitable Sharon have been hanging out. I like the pic and the lipstick. I like you. XXOO
Oops!! Make that SHARRON!!! She deserves the extra "r". Tell her I say hello and that I remember her fabulous legs in the outfit she had on the day I met her. :-)
ReplyDeleteLiving in Scandinavia I face all sorts of people in onesies every day - not one of them has worn it as well as you do! However, it is a "difficult" item to wear, and I have to admit I much prefer you in the tartan treasure!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, the forrest does have a Scandinavian feel, so a very appropriate place to wear your onesie. Just for fun, yo could try and pair with UGGs, like a few girls in Denmark do...
I have to say I gaffawed out loud with this one. And best use of strategically placed complimentary colors ever. You're most definitely an Original, Melanie. yay.
ReplyDelete