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Sunday 7 July 2013

Rockstar pants meet rockstar

These pants were beige, were beige, until yesterday. Now look what I've done.

These beggarly beasts of beigy blandness were headed straight for the trash bin barring immediate colour intervention, so I attacked them viciously with my Sharpies and acrylic paint. 
Who cares that they are now slightly crusty to the touch? Not I. 
Who cares that the earth may shake and split open and swallow them live if I try to wash them? Not I. 
Who cares that a sudden downpour would tan my legs blue? Um, yeah, that would suck.

In these photos taken by O I'm wearing flats because I was walking on boardwalks, but this morning on my inspiration walk, for the debut of these psychedelic pants, nothing but heels would do, you betcha. My legs beamed electric rays at everyone within eyeshot - we're talking hundreds of meters here. I warped into an echoing world of rockstars and strange hotels and room service with rubbery eggs and toast held upright in metal thingies. And mini bars. And chocolates, wrapped, on my pillow. Helping to create the mood was the satiny shirt that O used to wear when he played gigs in Tokyo. 

  • upcycled pants, thrifted, DIY
  • satiny top, from O, I won't say vintage
  • heels not shown, D&G, thrifted
  • magic loupe, made for me by O
  • airship whale and ghost-on-a-swing pendants, from friend Monique
  • black leather belt, thrifted

On my way home, Sandra and I dropped by an upscale shoe store where I delivered a couple of t-shirts I'd made for the managers who'd fallen for my "I have nothing to wear" shirt they'd seen me in a week ago. I couldn't deny their pleas - they are such cool women.

Then later, at a stoplight a few blocks from the store, Sandra turned and asked me, "You know who that was, right?" "Who who was?" I had no idea what she was talking about. "That was Paul Stanley (me: blank face) - of KISS." Apparently he had been smiling at me in the store. Gaaa! I was completely oblivious. Clearly he had been HIT-NO-TIZED by my rockstar pants, sucked in by their colossal rockstar tractor beam. Or, wait, maybe it was my larval brows, aqua pools of wriggly wonder, or maybe it was my yellow eyelids! Quickly I asked Sandra if she'd like to go back and watch Mr. Stanley - after all, she is a true rock fan. But, nah. What for? I didn't even know his name when she told me anyway. So we continued down the road preferring to create our own little rock star moments than pick at the flecks of glitter in another celebrity's wake.

It's very freeing once in a while to realize there is no Celebrity Mall with special Celebrity Stores. We're just people, often with two arms, two legs, some with better teeth and manicures. And it's not who you know (unless it's someone tremendously powerful who is a nice person rather than a power-rapist-type person) but rather what we make of ourselves that counts. Blah, blah, blah, birds sing, flowers sprout. But I have to say, KISS rocks, by definition.

See you over at Patti's truly delicious rock garden, Visible Monday, at her blog Not Dead Yet Style, where we can all fantasize about KISS platform boots! Have you had any brushes with celebrities lately? Have a great weekend everyone. (I wrote this post on Saturday.)

I have a Yellow Skirt update coming up...


  1. OMG, you are a genius. I love what you've done with these pants. Awesome!

  2. Rockstar fabulous-ness! ( I mean you, not KISS - although I love "I want to rock and roll all night" as an anthem). You really showed those beige bland trousers the old what-for, and you look spectacular. Thanks for linking up to Vis Monday. xoxo

  3. Those pants are fan-freakin-tabulous. Love!

  4. You are waaaay cooler than KISS!

  5. Pretty sure you are the coolest. Like here have a Coolest Award because omg those pants are amazing. And hey if you're ever worried, stick 'em in the freezer for awhile. It'll kill the germs. Every bit of those are amazing. My favorite is the X on your bum.

  6. OMG, you are the coolest! First, the pants, oh my god, the pants. They are ART with a capital Holy Shit.

    I love that you didn't know who Paul Stanley was and that he was smiling at you. Yellow eyeliner, pink lips and blue eyebrows - you are a FORCE.

  7. You do realise those pants qualify you for world domination don't you?
    Can I please join your gang? I will carry your heels when you need to do boardwalk shoots or balance on lily pads, or indeed crush inflatable celebrity egos!

    My most recent brush with celebrity was with me. It was utterly fabulous and my heart was beating so fast at finally meeting myself in the flesh! I was so nervous saying hello and asking for a photograph with me, that I needed a mega pot of tea to get over the shock!!! xxxxxxxxxxx

  8. Wow. Paul Stanley and you in the same store and YOU are the coolest one there! Those pants do rock and so does the shirt.

  9. "beggarly beasts of beigy blandness"? oh, well done!
    You look, as always, FABULOUS!

  10. Big smile here, not only from your post, but from the comments (Art with a capital Holy Shit!).

    Hey, Paul Stanley is the cute one, right? I bet if he had his KISS makeup on you would have recognized him. Duh.

    LOVE the pants!!!! I have some fabric paint pens that I am a little timid with. I did one cool thing (copied someone else's art, so I won't photograph it), and then did two things that sucked. I need to remember that if it sucks it probably just needs MORE. Bland must be banished. You're an inspiration!

  11. I want the pants. That is all.


  12. Those. Pants.

    Are. A.



  13. Your blue eyes with your blue eyebrows.....the PRETTIEST THING EVER!!!! And if your legs turn blue...well that would be too awesome! YOU are the celebrity around town. ~
    When I lived in New York I was often mistaken for a soap opera actress. I don't watch soap operas so I don't know who it was. Some great beauty no doubt... But I would sign my own Connie Snow name when people asked for my autograph which I'm sure confused and pissed off the unfortunate fans. Ha! Now I am YOUR fan. You might confuse me but you NEVER piss me off!

  14. A brush with greatness. But the 'greatness' is you in these pants that are a true work of art. You truly explode brilliantly on the scene. Would love a pair Melanie! Love O's satiny shirt too.

  15. These pants are fantastic, like a miracle garden, so many to discover.

  16. Hey! Give me back my pants cause they're fabulous!

  17. Hey Melanie, Had to give you a shout out on my post...I'd say great minds think alike, but you are so far out of my league here. Totally, totally rockin' these pants. I love 'em, and my dainty painted pants are all kinds of jealous.

    Sue xo

  18. Love the Transformation of the Pants! A Work of Art they now are.

    Dawn... The Bohemian

  19. Paul Stanley should be chasing you for your autograph, you absolute ROCKSTAR! Love the pants. Just LOVE the pants! Beige is a SCOURGE that should be annihilated by acrylic paints, glitter and fabulousness. Thankfully, there's YOU to fab-up the beige nastiness.

    And the arse shot? THANK YOU.

    Sarah xxx

  20. Freud was right, there is such a thing as Pants envy!

  21. OMG! I would kill for that jeans!! :)
    Gorgeous! I could stare at them all day long! ;)

    greets from Germany

  22. love your glorious rockstar pants, with all that pretty designs on them, crabs and cats and fantasy colors!! (I can't ever imagine that beige could be dyed so fabulously!, hurrah for that!), and you looks so awesome and gorgeous, and make me smile with your so sparkling art!
    besos & colores

  23. Shit hot!! #betterthanbeigeBigtime!

  24. Those pants are amazing! You are an absolute genius. You must turn heads wherever you go, you never fail to inspire me.
    I wouldn't know Paul Stanley if I fell over him either! I'm so crap with slebs! xxx

  25. Turning heads is an under statement! Those pants are a work of incredible art. I want to hang (frame) them on my wall, that way maybe some of your energy and creativity would radiant through my walls.

  26. Those are the most awesome crusty pants I ever did see! They have left me wordless with wonder. Have you checked Stanley's blog(have no idea if he has one)? Maybe he is speaking about how he ran into the infamous Melanie downtown. I bet he is.

  27. I wouldn't have known him either. Oh, and I wear a 34" inseam when you're ready to ship. :-)

  28. Didn't Kiss wear all the makeup?! Your friend must've been a true fan to have recognized him without any makeup - or wait, am I making assumptions?
    Great pants, love 'em!
    xo ~kim

  29. I bow at the feet of the goddess of Painted Rockstar Pants!!
    They are utterly amazing--and should wash fine!!

  30. Those pants kick ass i tell you!
    That is some job you did there, how did it take you to do this fabulous pant job?
    Mr D brushed with celebrities more than once but he knows a lot of people my Mr D - He even had a tennant who is a famous singer in Quebec...
    I know about the yellow skirt, i'm next in line i think and have a fabulous idea!



  31. Ahhhhh I can't get enough of those amazing pants Mel, you're turned them into a brilliant work of ART! I can well understand why you're jumping for joy (and such a great, heart warming image it is) in celebration of your fantastic creativity!

  32. Hey those pants are fantastic, try washing in cold water with hair shampoo ( any brand will do), a little white vinegar and baking soda in the wash. The vinegar will set the dye, the shampoo has no detergent or bleach to was the color out, and the baking soda will help to rinse out the shampoo.

  33. brilliant upcycle on those pants.

    I'd say 2 thumbs up and the arse shot, but that would be rude

  34. And the pants...a great way to advertise your art! in my mind, you are the rock star.

  35. I worship at the altar of Those PANTS! You, my awesomely creative friend, are a genius AND a rock star. I love that Paul Stanley was smiling at you, and was probably hoping you would notice him so he could tell you how freaking fabulous he thought you were. I bet he went home feeling like he had missed a once in a lifetime opportunity.

    Now I may not be so quick to reject a pair of great-fitting pants at a thrift store just because they are beige. The arse shot made my day!

  36. How utterly awesome to be walking around in one of a kind pants - brilliantly done! and between you and me, I find more inspiration in Spring Valley than Hollywood, but that's just weird ole me...thanks for sharing your marvelous pants with us!

  37. Brilliant! Brilliant I say! You are amazing!

  38. Damn, Mel!!!! Really ... DAMN! The most beautiful pants in the universe. Of course he was smiling at the whole package.
    We gotta find you some fabric paint that won't go away immediately. Yes I know that their impermanence is part of what makes these art instead of just pants, but you've designed them to WEAR!
    I've heard that if you just wrap them in a freezer bag and put them away for a couple of days with the ice cubes and frozen peas, that you can thaw them and wear them ... freezer cleaned, as it were.
    Brilliant. I'm not worthy.

  39. Beige begone!!!!!!!! Rock star super pants.......yes!!!!!!!!
    They are are amazing .
    Love O shirt to......was he a rock star??????
    Love v

  40. Now this, this is why I came back home to Vancouver. You make Paris look a bit boring . . .;-)

  41. I wouldn't have a clue who that fella was either. But I would recognise YOU immediately, and come over all star-struck and pathetic if I saw you in the street! And maybe ask you to draw on my clothes.
    Those trousers are amazing, Mel, what a fabulous idea, and a testament to your artistry.
    Oh and you have the BEST arse. Just sayin'... xxxx

  42. The yellow eyelids are soooo perfect and the pants are amaze-balls. Is that a stubbly unshaved leg and foot I see in the design?? You are so fucking awesome you even SLAY rockstars w/o even being aware... You are on another level, my friend :)

  43. Watch out Melanie, Steven Tyler will be breaking down your door to get at those pants. You could start a business selling those, you know.
    Come over and check out our 4th of July photos. Gypsy Rose is finally finished and in the water, and she sails like a dream.

  44. Hmmmmm, no brushes with celebrities, but I might have forgotten something. I am blown away by your rockstar pants at the moment! The flyaway and buzz off is perfect! LOL. Love the "birds sing, flowers sprout" also... You always make me smile.


  45. These pants make me have panty envy! I think they are stupendous! Paul Stanley must have been mesmerized by your awesomeness, you are a rock star in our eyes;). I wonder what he would have thought of your lil music video:)

  46. Love the pants and excellent jumping skillz!

  47. You're a celebrity to me, I might faint if I saw you in your pants of glory with those aqua brows and yellow lids - wow they make your eyes look even bluer. I love the idea of tacky, slightly sleazy hotel rooms. The satin shirt is just gorgeous, I really love it and it has history too xxxxxxx

  48. those pants are the coolest things I have seen in a long time. What a great canvas!

  49. I think those trousers are SUPER. You are so creative. You make a perfect picture. Sometimes your creations are too far from my quite conservative taste. I have yet to grow, and you help me with that. Love this. Tell me, do you stain when you sit down on a cream seat? Hope not.
    I bet you have so much fun thinking all these things up.

    I cAN'T SPEAK....
    rEVA :)

  51. Coming rather late to say - how blue are your eyes? So very blue. Beautiful eye and brow matching.

    I like that celebrities shop at regular stores, but also suspect he was wanting to be your BF?


  52. You look fab doll, it helps that you have a great figure to rock the pants. Stunning look!


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