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Sunday 14 February 2016

Slob and snob?

No wonder male celebrities love to wear onesies: the diaper crotch design creates all kinds of shadowy illusions down there. And then there's the protruding zipper tab, which Suzanne has stated freaks her out. It's only because she's jealous she doesn't have illusions emanating from her crotchal area and a pullable tab. Hahaha. Just when you think you've escaped camel toe, this happens. Too loose, too tight, too loose, too tight. The game is rigged!

The headband with the sticking-up-hair brings to mind Scott Baio: wax on, wax off. Remember that from the movie The Karate Kid? In the era of the "Brazilian," it has a whole new meaning not suitable for PG audiences. [Edit: as Sheila points out, that was Ralph Macchio, not Scott Baio. Both cute, but I never had a "thing" for them.]

Places to see, people to go. "Must get chips. Must get chips." Again, note my superior photography skills with the precision focus on my right foot. I have no one but myself to blame for such excellence. The camera was turned to Normal, which tends to average everything out, just like in real life - one big frickin' blur with random pinpricks of interest.  

Big truck coming. Kidding. It's all just part of the show for employees skulking around the alley on their smoke breaks. This photo is a focal fluke. Did you note the cool socks?

Conversation between two of my blog viewers:

Roweena: Mabel, what is she doing now? What's all that filth?
Mabel: Well, land sakes, how should I know? Running around in her thermal underwear in broad daylight? I can't fathom it. I just can't fathom it.
Roweena: Well, not just that - she might sprain something with her arms up like that.
Mabel: Maybe the police told her to freeze!
Roweena: You may be right. You may be right. Running around in her long johns.
Mabel: Oh, Rowena, look, look! Aren't those your shoes? The ones you threw out 40 years ago before you started wearing platforms?
Roweena: Whaaa...? I do think they are. How did she...?
Mabel: Well, they're on their way to the slammer now. Good thing you threw them out. More tea? With a little something extra? Looks like you could use a little fortification.
Roweena: Oh my, yes. I knew those shoes would come to no good.

I still have a hard time believing that onesies are so popular in some places. This is the only one I've ever seen in Vancouver. 

This outfit scared people. And well it should! At least until I opened my mouth or laughed. My jeggings never looked so haughty before. I love this look, as much as I love my jeans and T-shirt looks as once-in-a-while style. Made-in-Italy fringed vintage velvet wrap by Byblos, $5 from My Sister's Closet, well, only $2.50 really because it came with a luxurious velvet maxi skirt as well.

Vintage black satin gloves. Big earrings from My Sister's Closet. Hat, yes the hat styled another way, from Used House of Vintage, velvet opera coat half price from Value Village, old Chanel sunglasses, a gift in exchange for work done.

That's all. I'm raising my head like a little prairie dog, having a look around now that I have a little breathing space. Are you still there? Helloooo!!

Good job on the blab live online chat hosted by Sylvia of 40+Style, with special guests Patti, Not Dead Yet Style, and Susan, une femme d'un certain âge. That was great! Sylvia's new course on accessories starts Feb 15. You can get more info HERE, but tons of women have already signed up. If you need a little style oomph, Sylvia will provide!! She doesn't pay me to say this - I just think she knows her stuff.

I'll link this up to the usual suspects. There's nothing too new in this disjointed post. I'll make up for it later. I bought a gown today. Hahaha!! Exactly what I needed.
Patti: Visible Monday on her blog Not Dead Yet Style
Catherine: #iwillwearwhatilike on her blog Not Dressed as Lamb


  1. Yes, I did notice the socks. :-) Nice touch. Focus is such a tricky bugger. Love the velvet, and the "don't f*ck with me" chapeau.

  2. Those are the only long johns in Vancouver? Nope. Those are the only VISIBLE long johns in Vancouver. They say that lingerie as clothing is all the rage so you are right on! I love that second look. It is very 1960's Russian Spy. I'm getting some Boris and Natasha dahlnk!

  3. Ah, now see, what you did wrong was set the camera to NORMAL. There is nothing normal about you and your wardrobe, with pullable tabs in strategic places, jailbait shoes and a hat that will keep you warm all the way down to your knees. Mabel and Roweena are just jealous (the bitches).

  4. Totally agree with Val, there is absolutely nothing normal about you, you are the most unique and lively and entertaining and talented woman I know. Oh, did I mention Know, because I actually feel quite privileged to say this as for the day when you become super duper famous, I want to be able to say "I know her". And, Connie is correct also, I'm certain there are a whole lot of ladies running around their homes in long johns and just wishing they were brave enough to go out in public in them.
    As for the Russian look, it's marvelous!

  5. OOoh, phew, order was restored to my morning when I reached the 'scary'/haughty/spy film lead character/supercool outfit. Mind you, I quite relish disorder from time to time, and there's a lot of delicious disorder going on in Mel-in-a-onesie.

  6. Oh my day is 1000 times better, and I can't stop thinking about crotchal protrusions (zipper tabs, woman!) Your hat is beyond stupendous, ditto the earrings, sunglasses, and red lipstick.

    Roweena and Mabel comment on my Facebook page all the time, usually something like: "why don't you show more fashions for people who live in cold areas???"

    xo to you,


  7. How refreshing to see you up and about again all snobbery and slobbery. Anyway, the cops would never be able to find you with your quick change ability. And tell Roweena and Mabel they ain't seen nothing yet.

  8. From Dr Seuss to Dr Zhivago - very literary! xo

  9. Ralph Machio, not Scott Baio! Same original show ("Happy Days").

    I adore the onesie - you and the Beebs! - and that stunning hat makes me swoon!

  10. Favorite 2 comments so far, "you are not normal" and from "Dr. Seuss to Dr. Zhivago".

    Your readers are almost as much fun as you are : )

    I kind of love that your camera only caught your shoe.


  11. Oh yes - Karate Kid! My kids knew the entire film dialogue off by heart they watched it so many times.

    The onesie is weird - in the nicest possible way - and there is no sign of camel toe, I can assure you. I had a onesie pair of pjs which I picked up on the bargain rail for £1.00 - bad mistake. They had buttons down the front and as I have to get up in the night to pee as I'm a woman of that age; they were a total nightmare. They went in the charity shop bag but they were so very cosy and comfortable. I need one with a zip for a speedy exit!

    The velvet outfit is soooo lovely and you do look like an extremely elegant Russian spy - amazing earrings too!

    Have a lovely week


  12. Not Scott Baio? Gah! Thanks for the correction, Sheila. I fixed it, kind of.

  13. There needs to be a setting on your camera called "Melanie"! I consider a photo to be a success if there is something in focus.

    Onesies are not a thing here, but there are a lot of pajama pants being worn in public. There is one guy I see on the bus all the time who has been wearing anavy blue thick fleece onesie for months now - no coat, just this damn onesie. I can't help but wonder if he ever washes it (ewwwwwww).

    I just adore the all black velvet goodness of the second outfit. You do look rather intimidating, but in a GOOD way.

  14. Melanie really stands out
    With her velvet
    And fur
    And zips
    Her freakish hairstyles
    And hats
    All jump to attention
    To proclaim
    This electric vortex
    Swirling the current
    Shocking us all
    Into life

    xo Jazzy Jack

  15. Mabel and Roweeeeena need their own blog. Land sakes, i mean that! Still laughing Adore your right shoe. So well shot. And that hat? OMG. Onesies? They leave me scratching my...head. Didn't they wear them in Zoolander? The first film. maybe that was pjs. no matter. Blog blog blog!!! YOu've reeled me in. xxoo

  16. Why be normal when you can be -yourself! Hell yeah!

  17. I don’t do IG so was curious whether I’d ever get a glimpse of "the hat", and here she is, marvellous and truly deserving of her THE-ness. She adds to an overall impression that you could be an extraordinary and imposing sea creature (yet to be discovered). But, you definitely wouldn’t be found in the Med. There isn’t a hope in hell of picking up vintage Byblos in Italy for less than €2. Life’s so unfair!
    Baci Sxx

  18. That hat!! That HAT!!!
    I love it so much!

  19. Up to your usual shenanigans I see. Of course I love it all, even if I wouldn't be seen in public with you. The in-focus shoe shot was brilliant, one of my faves.

    Well I'm off to have lunch with Ro and Mabes. Until next time. XXOO

  20. Two different looks, but both equally inspiring! I really thing that you could write movie scripts, judging from you conversation between two of your blog viewers. Another talent to explore!

    Your hat with velvet opera coat and large earrings is a total inspiration. Brava!!!

  21. There's been a bit of a hoo-ha in the UK about a headteacher of a primary school requesting that parents don't do the school run in their pyjamas, or onesies either. I have to say I agree with her - get dressed, people! You get away with it by virtue of the furry coat, so phew!
    Speaking of furry, your hat is a glorious beast. Can we see Turnip Head wearing it too, please? Looking most mysterious and glamorous, and slightly scary, as though you might have a gun in amongst all the velvet and fringing! xxx

  22. I look forward to more running commentary from the two broads 'Mabel and Rowena'. They sound like two old chorus line girls from the 50's!

    Have I ever said how fantabulous you look in red? Even in a onesie.

  23. Lmfao. You had me with "shadowy illusions." Almost choked on my tea, there. It takes big brass balls to rock a drop crotch onesie. Not everyone has the requisite "sack," but you got it, so no worries. Hehe. :P Also, I've never been a huge proponent of fur, but the more I see you in that coat, the more I feel like I need one. >_< Gah. It looks so great on you!

    - Anna

  24. You couldn't find a bigger contrast in outfits??? Of course the onesie made me laugh (I am sorry). And you did walk outdoors with it... you are a dare devil. The second outfit is so opposite of that, it is so chic and at the same time so very noticeable, I can understand it scares people. But it looks darned good on you.
    And I bet that conversation between Roweena and Mabel did take place. Make it Mary and Jane..whatever.
    The hat..... I adore the hat. As it clearly does you. The earrings are great with it.

  25. You truly are a woman of contrasts. But heck, Melanie, you rock whatever you wear. Maybe next you'll show us humans how to wear a black plastic sack and look uber chic...
    Anna's Island Style

  26. wow! awesome looks. I just don't have proper words to say how much I loved them

    Inside and Outside Blog

  27. I do remember Helga´s bag and how it disappear, lol.
    Having the skirt in my hand has inspired another idea. I am going to make a skirt where to attached souverirs from the places I go.
    It will be a living skirt.
    Much love , dear Melanie.
    Ps: I will send it it GERMANY AS SOON AS i DO MY WORK on it

  28. Onepieces is very popular where I live. Not combined with a fake fur coat but sportjackets and theese:
    I prefer your scary look. I actually love it! I'm raised to be afraid of Russia so maybe that's why I-m so found of russia-style. A bit forbidden ...

  29. its always a treat to come to you!!!!
    i can forget the greyish-brownish, xenopob people that surround me here. thank you! xxxxxx

  30. Hilarious and brilliant; LOL!


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