Slob and snob?

No wonder male celebrities love to wear onesies: the diaper crotch design creates all kinds of shadowy illusions down there. And then there's the protruding zipper tab, which Suzanne has stated freaks her out. It's only because she's jealous she doesn't have illusions emanating from her crotchal area and a pullable tab. Hahaha. Just when you think you've escaped camel toe, this happens. Too loose, too tight, too loose, too tight. The game is rigged!

The headband with the sticking-up-hair brings to mind Scott Baio: wax on, wax off. Remember that from the movie The Karate Kid? In the era of the "Brazilian," it has a whole new meaning not suitable for PG audiences. [Edit: as Sheila points out, that was Ralph Macchio, not Scott Baio. Both cute, but I never had a "thing" for them.]

Places to see, people to go. "Must get chips. Must get chips." Again, note my superior photography skills with the precision focus on my right foot. I have no one but myself to blame for such excellence. The camera was turned to Normal, which tends to average everything out, just like in real life - one big frickin' blur with random pinpricks of interest.  

Big truck coming. Kidding. It's all just part of the show for employees skulking around the alley on their smoke breaks. This photo is a focal fluke. Did you note the cool socks?

Conversation between two of my blog viewers:

Roweena: Mabel, what is she doing now? What's all that filth?
Mabel: Well, land sakes, how should I know? Running around in her thermal underwear in broad daylight? I can't fathom it. I just can't fathom it.
Roweena: Well, not just that - she might sprain something with her arms up like that.
Mabel: Maybe the police told her to freeze!
Roweena: You may be right. You may be right. Running around in her long johns.
Mabel: Oh, Rowena, look, look! Aren't those your shoes? The ones you threw out 40 years ago before you started wearing platforms?
Roweena: Whaaa...? I do think they are. How did she...?
Mabel: Well, they're on their way to the slammer now. Good thing you threw them out. More tea? With a little something extra? Looks like you could use a little fortification.
Roweena: Oh my, yes. I knew those shoes would come to no good.

I still have a hard time believing that onesies are so popular in some places. This is the only one I've ever seen in Vancouver. 

This outfit scared people. And well it should! At least until I opened my mouth or laughed. My jeggings never looked so haughty before. I love this look, as much as I love my jeans and T-shirt looks as once-in-a-while style. Made-in-Italy fringed vintage velvet wrap by Byblos, $5 from My Sister's Closet, well, only $2.50 really because it came with a luxurious velvet maxi skirt as well.

Vintage black satin gloves. Big earrings from My Sister's Closet. Hat, yes the hat styled another way, from Used House of Vintage, velvet opera coat half price from Value Village, old Chanel sunglasses, a gift in exchange for work done.

That's all. I'm raising my head like a little prairie dog, having a look around now that I have a little breathing space. Are you still there? Helloooo!!

AND...

Good job on the blab live online chat hosted by Sylvia of 40+Style, with special guests Patti, Not Dead Yet Style, and Susan, une femme d'un certain âge. That was great! Sylvia's new course on accessories starts Feb 15. You can get more info HERE, but tons of women have already signed up. If you need a little style oomph, Sylvia will provide!! She doesn't pay me to say this - I just think she knows her stuff.

I'll link this up to the usual suspects. There's nothing too new in this disjointed post. I'll make up for it later. I bought a gown today. Hahaha!! Exactly what I needed.

Patti: Visible Monday on her blog Not Dead Yet Style
Catherine: #iwillwearwhatilike on her blog Not Dressed as Lamb

Lurching forward with up and down hair

This is what I wore to the "Putting Together the Big Crane Down the Street" show.

I hadn't booked tickets but I got lucky and scored a VIP curbside spot. 

Lots of heavy metal and hard hats - post-modern constructionism.

The road was shut down and everything! (I see you rolling your eyes - don't think I can't.)

Then I went to an eco boutique, where my personal shopper browsed the $5 rack. 

And then I had coffee and a crueller served to me by a cadre of attentive servers.

And I drew a turnip head in my journal. It's a life of glamour, yesh.

It's all about perspective.

The torso was the best part of this outfit so that's all I'm going to show you. 

The T-shirt is one I did with googly eyes and it's a farked necklace.

The black part is my ancient dickie untucked. 

My photos sucked big time, but that was my face today. Bathroom selfie.

WHITE EYE SHADOW & NUDE LIPSTICK

Starkish. Bemused/perplexed. This photo should rotate and speak like a robot.

That's what happens when I let my hair down.

The boots I wore a couple days ago - the lawn-mower runaways. 

They are fancy-schmancy bought new a few years ago on super discount. Maybe green wasn't selling?

This outfit looks better in motion. And this is what happens when I let my hair up.

How's THAT...?

"Wanna buy a mitten clip?"

I spotted this dress on the $5 rack last week. Love that mod vibe 

which I boosted with quick mitten clipping to go mini-high and to show off those freaky tights. 

I'm also wearing my black and white spirograph turtleneck under the dress and

earrings from a whack-load of new big ones I bought.

Tip:  Big Earrings = Instant Rock Star

But some of you already know that. Vix, Mis Papelicos...

 Great coat action. I got to whip it - whip it good!

I love the way my left boot up there is so focused. Artistry, my friends. And in one take.

With a self-timer. While walking.

Who else could have focused with such absolute precision on that one spot? 

I put the above photo on Instagram. I was falling over when the shutter snapped.

Clearly, I've got nothing for you. Nothing. My creativity train stops at my station, blowing all its whistles, then lurches ahead, then stops, blows, and lurches. Is it too much to ask for a little synchronicity here?!

Hope you're well, doing what you do.

I've got to hook this up to:
Anne at SpyGirl, 52 Pick-me-up: Green Acorn/Victim/Empowerment
Patti at Visible Monday, Not Dead Yet Style, where the party never stops.

Hat Attack! and How to clean your faux fur

Uh-oh, it's the concrete box studio again. That can only mean one thing...

I've washed my hands of the whole "sophisticated-look/get-more-Followers" drive of my previous post. It lasted a day, which in terms of my resolve, is pretty good. Plus, if I stuck to those rules, how would I possibly be able to bring you THIS outfit? So many shaggy bits. (I'm happy to see from the previous comments that many of you are/have been liberally exercising your right to shag!)

Check out those sparklers on my head, courtesy of AMAZING FABULOUS BELLA, The Citizen Rosebud, who sent me this beret waaay back. It's perfect for Hat Attack 19 with Judith and her style mavericks over at Style Crone. Did you see Bella at Sylvia's 40PlusStyle, 40 Most Stylish Midlife Women on Instagram? You must, and everyone else there too, not to mention the lineup of fabulous women featured on Buzzfeed earlier in the week here, 15 Amazing Senior Style Instagrammers; Judith is there too.

Note to self: I am not a cat. Stop grooming the faux fur. Hairballs stain carpet.

And I had a vow to swear off thrifting - it lasted two days. I should have included fine print: no walking past thrift stores. When I saw this coat through the window on a rack in the darkest corner (not kidding), what could I do? Let it go home with a smug young fashionista who'd buy it as a great joke coat for a party? Or go home with me, a smug Melstrom wise in the knowledge that daily life is a party, albeit hosted by David Lynch.

The knit maxi skirt with pearl button embellishment I got from the 5-buck rack at a thrift shop a couple weeks ago. That's an old thrifted putrid lime-green blouse and my thrifted silk velvet scarf. I like the variety of textures/patterns, but next time I'll wear something short or fitted with the coat, maybe my Moschino hotpants with my '60s paisley tights. 

If you're a new Follower, thank you for signing up. Boot camp is just beginning, and shoe camp, and high camp... Wait, wait, come baaaaack! 

About cleaning faux fur: My shaggy green faux fur coat, seen well here, needed a full-on tongue bath(!) but not being up to the challenge and refusing to have it dry cleaned, as it instructs, I ran it on a cold gentle cycle in the wash, spun dry (I have a separate special spinner for that), then tumbled dry. The coat came out springtime fresh. I couldn't imagine walking around with all those dry cleaning chemicals seething in the fibres. This method worked for me but if you're unsure, dry cleaning (or tongue bath, if you don't mind hairballs) would still be your safest option.

An elderly man came up to me in the coffee shop while I was wearing this coat. He asked, "How many muskrats did it take to make that?" I calmly replied, "A dozen. And they were not muskrats, they were muppets." I smiled, winked, and left him laughing. What would you have done?