Slob and snob?

No wonder male celebrities love to wear onesies: the diaper crotch design creates all kinds of shadowy illusions down there. And then there's the protruding zipper tab, which Suzanne has stated freaks her out. It's only because she's jealous she doesn't have illusions emanating from her crotchal area and a pullable tab. Hahaha. Just when you think you've escaped camel toe, this happens. Too loose, too tight, too loose, too tight. The game is rigged!

The headband with the sticking-up-hair brings to mind Scott Baio: wax on, wax off. Remember that from the movie The Karate Kid? In the era of the "Brazilian," it has a whole new meaning not suitable for PG audiences. [Edit: as Sheila points out, that was Ralph Macchio, not Scott Baio. Both cute, but I never had a "thing" for them.]

Places to see, people to go. "Must get chips. Must get chips." Again, note my superior photography skills with the precision focus on my right foot. I have no one but myself to blame for such excellence. The camera was turned to Normal, which tends to average everything out, just like in real life - one big frickin' blur with random pinpricks of interest.  

Big truck coming. Kidding. It's all just part of the show for employees skulking around the alley on their smoke breaks. This photo is a focal fluke. Did you note the cool socks?

Conversation between two of my blog viewers:

Roweena: Mabel, what is she doing now? What's all that filth?
Mabel: Well, land sakes, how should I know? Running around in her thermal underwear in broad daylight? I can't fathom it. I just can't fathom it.
Roweena: Well, not just that - she might sprain something with her arms up like that.
Mabel: Maybe the police told her to freeze!
Roweena: You may be right. You may be right. Running around in her long johns.
Mabel: Oh, Rowena, look, look! Aren't those your shoes? The ones you threw out 40 years ago before you started wearing platforms?
Roweena: Whaaa...? I do think they are. How did she...?
Mabel: Well, they're on their way to the slammer now. Good thing you threw them out. More tea? With a little something extra? Looks like you could use a little fortification.
Roweena: Oh my, yes. I knew those shoes would come to no good.

I still have a hard time believing that onesies are so popular in some places. This is the only one I've ever seen in Vancouver. 

This outfit scared people. And well it should! At least until I opened my mouth or laughed. My jeggings never looked so haughty before. I love this look, as much as I love my jeans and T-shirt looks as once-in-a-while style. Made-in-Italy fringed vintage velvet wrap by Byblos, $5 from My Sister's Closet, well, only $2.50 really because it came with a luxurious velvet maxi skirt as well.

Vintage black satin gloves. Big earrings from My Sister's Closet. Hat, yes the hat styled another way, from Used House of Vintage, velvet opera coat half price from Value Village, old Chanel sunglasses, a gift in exchange for work done.

That's all. I'm raising my head like a little prairie dog, having a look around now that I have a little breathing space. Are you still there? Helloooo!!

AND...

Good job on the blab live online chat hosted by Sylvia of 40+Style, with special guests Patti, Not Dead Yet Style, and Susan, une femme d'un certain âge. That was great! Sylvia's new course on accessories starts Feb 15. You can get more info HERE, but tons of women have already signed up. If you need a little style oomph, Sylvia will provide!! She doesn't pay me to say this - I just think she knows her stuff.

I'll link this up to the usual suspects. There's nothing too new in this disjointed post. I'll make up for it later. I bought a gown today. Hahaha!! Exactly what I needed.

Patti: Visible Monday on her blog Not Dead Yet Style
Catherine: #iwillwearwhatilike on her blog Not Dressed as Lamb

Yes and Yes, and dressing like a star

Sarah of Yes and Yes: Because Yes is More Fun than No blog interviewed me as part of her series REAL LIFE STYLE ICONs. Yes, that would be me. Heh! Aren't you itching to read all my secrets of the schtars?! Sarah describes her blog as a "lifestyle blog for smart, funny people," then winks and says, "So you're allowed to read it."

But why do my photos look so much better on her blog than mine!? Is it like in a restaurant where a friend's food always looks waaay better than your own order? Is her tomato sauce better than my alfredo because she has a bajillion site visitors every day? I would never let something like that influence me. Oh no, not one. little. bit. Nooo. But I've decided to move my blog over to Sarah's blog. I hope she doesn't mind.

To celebrate my new-found stardom, I decided at last to dress like a star. Like this.

All that other colourful stuff? FRAUDULENT stardom!! This is how a star really dresses. 

I am referring to some wildly successful mainstream +50 style bloggers, the kind with serious numbers for serious moolah potential, although the prices of their outfits probably have a few more zeros than mine. And O doesn't cut their hair. And they don't wear men's narrow shoes. Or run around with a toolbox handbag. Or go out without makeup. Or carry cash (that's what assistants are for, think the Queen). Minor details. Maybe no one will notice I'm in a concrete stairwell either. The point is, I'm dressed like a STAR!! You can call me Clarisse and shop in my boutique.

This pose of benediction is perfect for showing off what I'm wearing. I would never be a blasphemer and suggest that holy figures pose this way to show off their clothes. No, no, no. But look how easy it is to see those great bell sleeves on this turtleneck with my arms this way.

Despite the look on my face, I happily wore this when I went out for coffee with O, enjoying its comfort and simplicity. No joke. I really like it!! I dress like this a couple of times a week, usually in the evening, and cloak up with my black velvet opera coat and maybe sunglasses. But if I were a real star fashion blogger, I'd have to dress like this all the time, or variations of it, ditch the loud humour, and shore up on pithy quips that won't embarrass anyone at dinner parties. Puh. Who goes to dinner parties?

Earlier on the same day I wore this wildly, happily:

It's my vintage robe/dress/coat, I'm not really sure what. It's heavy fabric with a thick waffle texture, fully lined and so structured it sticks out like a tent. There is a front zipper from the neck to the waist partially concealed behind the button closure. It came with a detached button pinned to the collar but another one came off. I distinctly remember putting it in the pocket; trouble is, these are faux pockets.

The cool boots are from Sheila of Ephemera, part of a footwear care package she sent me a while ago. I made a video about it here. I got this white coatish thing and the earrings at My Sister's Closet.

I took these shots at the library, a tricky feat because there is lots of foot traffic. And my remote battery died this time so I was back to click and run. And then yesterday I wore this:

This outfit features a towering Dr. Seuss hat and a scrumptious, vintage plush velvet coat from my fairy thrift mother Su. Can you believe it?!! It's designed to bag out fit-wise but I wanted it tighter so I overlapped the front and mitten-clipped it shut.

The other day when I was out for coffee with Sandra of Lens is More (now also on Instagram HERE), a coffee shop barista gave me the best compliment but prefaced it with, "I hope you don't take this the wrong way but..." - I braced myself - "you look like Cruella de Vil." Hahaha!! I was wearing my red faux fur, red earrings, rrrred lipstick, green pants, purple ear muffs. You get the idea.

That's it. For now. I'm swamped with work in a good way so I'll be skulking for a while. Happy holidays! (Now you're wondering, what holiday? There is no holiday.)

And thanks for interviewing me for your series, Sarah!! It's an honour.

My hat malfunctioned

OOPs. I had a post here with a grey faux fur hat I bought in a vintage store. I loooved it! Its construction was exquisite. But there were starting to be references to it as an afro on Instagram, and while they were all supportive - thanks for your comments, by the way - I was startled because I saw it in the vein of the huge fur hats you used to see around.

I would never wear an afro wig so I can't wear a hat that is seen as afro hair either. It was bad judgment on my part not to have a wider vision about how it would come across - I get caught up in my little vibe. That's why I removed the post.

But onwards and upwards. I have a lot more cool stuff to wear and post about that will hopefully bring joy to all!! I'll be back soon!! Hee hee.

I have also removed my Instagram account. I couldn't delete the hat photo so I just took down my whole account. Bwhaha! No big deal.

I'm not sure when/if I'll be back, but it was a ride! THANK YOU for your support!!

___________________________________________________________

!DRAMA QUEEN UPDATE!

I got my Instagram back! Sylvia (40+ Style) saved me. She removed that photo for me and reset everything. It's a miracle. I'm deeply thankful. 

Lessons? 
I shouldn't start pressing buttons if I don't know what will happen. In fact, I set Instagram to take a temporary break, not delete everything, but when everything disappeared I figured, okay, whatever.

AND, try to think about other people's perceptions about what I'm wearing before I trot it out into the wide open world. It's better to be more sensitive in advance than have regrets later.

So...
THE RIDE CONTINUES!!! Thank you for your patience. Hahaha! Pass me another drink, would ya? And keep 'em coming.

For the record, nobody was critical of my hat in their comments. The comments were awesome!! You are all awesome!! As suggested, yes, I think I can repurpose the hat into something else.

Henceforth, this shall be known as the Great Hat Fiasco.