How to do a laugh pose

And here I am laughing my head off, just like I did in the previous post where I'm wearing a swimsuit, me, the woman who never wears miniskirts, at least without leggings, and rarely shows her bare legs at all. Even toes are a revelation.

When I smile furtively for self-timer photos I feel like a massive doink. When I don't smile at all, well, we know the cruelty of gravity. What I realized is, why settle for massive when I can be mega-ultra-super-massive? Hell, yeah, baby!!! Go all the way! Enter: the dreaded laugh pose.

In that photo you might think I'm joking with the camera crew - well, yeah, I kind of am because I am the crew and I enjoy a warped sense of humour. 

Admittedly, just standing there in the stairwell with a tripod is an odd thing to do. The words narcissist documentarian, vain confidence-building, blogger anthropologist, and idiot idiot all spring to mind.

Look, more laughing! But so different with another outfit - you might not even recognize me!! Hahahaha!! Hahahaha!!! 

You must be wondering how I achieve this effortless, frolicking supermodel effect. Well, wonder no more!!

Secrets to the laugh pose revealed: 

• Um, open your mouth and show your teeth. That's all. No need to continue reading.
• Toss your head around a little, like you slept funny or you're at the beach and one of your fellow frolickers is about to throw you a giant inflatable beach ball. Hahaha! Hahaha! Everyone is so happy and rich and disconnected from reality. It's mmmarvellous.
• Scrinch up your eyes a bit so your open mouth and teeth look friendly, not like you're about to rip into a steak and fries. Of course, my wrinkles do most of the work for me. (Hide your fork and knife.)
• You may want to vocalize. It's impossible to put into words the sound I make, so I leave it to you to develop your own special sound.

Of course this technique only works when I'm in a safe, secure environment. Like my concrete stairwell. I know - I tried it outside today in the alley. So many people; you'd think I was in a city or something! 

When strangers are around during a shoot I could probably pretzelize a steel pipe with my sphincter. Check out that boot fringe action up there. Run! Onlookers make me get a serious face, like that:

Where's my fecking beach ball? Clearly I'm going to have to work on my outdoor laugh pose. 

Below I am wearing: thrifted low-rise Hilfiger capris from My Sister's Closet, shaggy green boots from Fluevog, thrifted blouse from Value Village, scarf from I forget (a popular source of clothing as the years progress), magic loupe and mechanical wristwatch from O. The Sheila stair pose got accordioned.

After I put these green clothes on they started whining for a compliment (heh) complement, as in complementary colour, so I added the hot pink scarf as a tie just before I went out the door. Whew - style disaster averted by quick thinking! Who wants to look like a leprechaun? Well, at least not on that particular day.

Is that a bug on my tripod?

Wearing: blue kimono-ish tunic made in Japan, from the meetup clothing swap via Patti (thank you!), thrifted Anthropologie pants, black fringed Fluevog boots from Timeline Boutique, clanking bracelets, magic loupe, vintage earrings bought new at I forget.

Bloglovin' is having a contest to see who can get the most followers in x amount of time. I stopped reading when I saw it was designed for people with fewer than 10,000 followers. Hahaha. I'm imagining they're throwing me a beach ball in the desert.

How's your week? How's your laugh pose? Got any secrets of the schtars you'd care to share?

Sleuthy in the garbage room atelier

CALLING ALL UNITS: Be on the lookout for 

Shadowy Woman in a Shadowy Cat Bar

I woke up in a dark underground bar surrounded by drunken cats, a passed out bartender, and a dog head on the wall. I can't be sure, but I seem to remember some bad poetry too. Am I dreaming?

This definitely called for a head-to-toe black-ops shoot in the garbage room atelier.

Under cover in tuxedo pants that someone before me paid lots of money for, a $5 top, and a thrifted wool beret. What's on my feet? you ask. BWAhahaha!!!!!!

You know my green shagariffic boots? It doesn't matter, suffice to say I have acquired an identical pair in black for waaay more cheap, thrifted, $30. My undercover exposed black-socked toes were chilly but it was a small sacrifice for feeling slinky sleuthy. Except for the shaggy texture, these boots are a tad boring, so I have Plans for them. [Edit: I'm linking these boots up with Sheila's Shoe Shine 18 at her blog Ephemera]

Also, it's nearing the end of the year so I sketched this this morning on my inspiration walk. I'm - 

                  T  A  K  I  N  G      S  T  O  C  K               

H  A  P  P  Y     N  E  W     Y  E  A  R     

YOU GORGEOUS CREATURES, plus you're smart too, and funny, and creative, and have generous hearts.

Just moving like a fool in the garbage hall. Same 'ole, same 'ole.

I'm linking up to Patti's Visible Monday at Not Dead Yet Shtyle, even though I'm under cover. I'll deputize you all and give you a badge too.

Hieroglyphs and Fluevogs

I casually strolled by Fluevog's Water Street shoe store last week on my way home from the art opening, stupidly forgetting the supernatural powers of the maxi cheongsam dress (as seen in last post) that I was wearing at the time. And look what happened!

I walked out with green shag-carpet boots. I circled the table they were on like a cat purring. Daintily I picked up said boot and peered into its sole until my hair stood on end - it was a cosmic connection: the sticker said $269 down to $99. I had to pounce! Considering I wore these boots TWICE already last week, I figure I'm practically making money from this investment.

These boots have an open toe AND an open heel - the heel is difficult to see with all the shag bits - and an inside seam zip and stacked wood platforms. I justified this purchase as a reward for winding up my art gallery activities.

Of course I was feeling very hieroglyphic in this shagariffic footwear. The blues and greens are like Fight Club on my legs. These new boots definitely are appropriate for Patti's Visible Monday gathering. I'll see you all there!

Details of the outfit:

• Fluevog brand boots, The Jericho, $99 new
• satin neon orange sleeveless blouse, thrifted
• satin dark blue top, hand-me-over
• red beret, thrifted
• blue stretch skirt, sample sale, $10?
• gold bag, hand-me-over
• inspiration: Egypt and Fluevogs

I'm wondering if you ever buy things that make you squeamish. These boots are like that for me - gross green, suede, and deliciously, naughtily out of bounds!