Never too much colour

This dress is originally from the bastion of fast fashion, H&M, one of their eco-recycled-garbage (ERG) collection, but I bought it pre-loved. Of course there is a real feel-good, corporate-speak name for it but I can't be bothered to check - I like ERG.

I blogged about it the first time HERE as my entry in an H&M contest, a completely different styling with an alley shoot - lots of fun. But I didn't win - my fizz was apparently too flat (or maybe too fizzy) to refill these recycled PET bottles. Judging by the women who became finalists, my contents were decidedly past their best-before date. All I can say about that is - old food can be good. 

Cases in point. Have you ever experienced the dry chewiness of an old marshmallow? Bliss. Or the ecstasy of eating a chocolate bar you'd lost in the glove compartment for over a year? (Question: Did anyone ever really put gloves in a glove compartment?) And what about grapes? Old grapes taste great in wine, although some of my old ones are just sour. Well, semi-sweet.

The bell bottoms are by Rip Curl, thrifted. The booties are thrifted too, not my first choice for this outfit but I needed a heel. Many of my shoes are in sick bay right now with heel ailments. Seriously, footwear should come with insurance or a Dr. "Bones" McCoy fix-it wand from Star Trek.

You can see all the extra stuff below: magic loupe pendant and ring by O, available HERE, handmade ghost-on-a-swing necklace by friend Monique, a hoity-toity brand leather wrist wrap (gift), leather belt with silver buckle by Josef (say it like it's French), booties, DIY T-shirt, and my favourite DIY praying mantis pendant made from an on-sale Liz Claiborne Christmas ornament. Those insects are amazing creatures. Did you know that the female often devours the male after coupling?

A woman wrote the following comment in response to an article about praying mantises in Entomology Today, which I stumbled across while doing research.

WARNING: This paragraph deals with the animal kingdom. Don't read it if you are squeamish.

I followed a female mantis that took up eye-level residence on a pepper plant last summer near my door, and she eventually mated with at least four different males, and for several days had two on her back at the same time with more males standing around expectantly. The female nibbled an eyeball of each mate, then finished the other eyeball, then eventually ate the whole head. Each male stayed attached to her for several days, ending up as discarded wings on the surface of the flowerpot a foot below after a new male took up position.

Moving right along... With a cart.

I dug this neon lemon robe and red, white, and blue hooded garment out of the alien pod vault a few days ago. Static, just hanging there, this outfit looks like almost nuthin', but in motion it flies. The robe gently laps at the legs of unsuspecting passersby with the slightest breezy provocation. I wasn't sued for it either. Or devoured.

These weakling pixels - they just can't seem to capture this neon colour. I bumped the saturation on the photo below but it didn't help much.

I got those Zara shoes out of the vault too. The dress thingy is sleeveless and has a front slit and zip. The Chanel sunglasses are also a gift. The loupe and ring, O made me. And that's a mechanical Tissot watch, which, if you've forgotten, means you have to wind it up by hand. And it has 17 jewels! It's old too. O reconditioned it and machines custom parts if it gets stuck in the past.

I posted about another outfit this week on Instagram if you're interested, HERE.

That's all for now. I had a wonderful meetup with some fellow bloggers this week, but that will have to wait.

I'll link up to Visible Monday at Not Dead Yet Style, hosted by Patti, and #iwillwearwhatIlike at Not Dressed as Lamb, hosted by Catherine. See you there.

I wish a company would sell old marshmallows so I don't have to age them myself. They seldom survive to old age in my home. What about marshmallow wine?

Yellow Skirt Update!! And a middle-aged debutante

I got my new business cards. Which means - I've ARRIVED! It's like being a debutante but older and better, although I still haven't reached my age of maturity. 

When my cards arrived, I danced around my home doing 3D effects like those 1970s Saturday Night Live skits "in 3D" where the actors zoomed in and out of the camera with echoey voices. I must have said to O umpteen billion times, "Look at my new card! LOOK! Bwahahaha. In 3D!" Poor man. I gave him one. It still left me with 199.

Left front; right back; there is no middle

I know it's just printing on paper (although I ordered the slightly thicker card stock) but somehow I regard this little card as a mini passport to my dreams. No more scrumply, scratchy, ripped napkins with ink blots and coffee drips! People will see me and say, "Now there's a woman with a card!" And then, "Double-sided? That's one classy dame."

Blooper. Ruffle slap.

I'm practising:

"Oh, if you like this outfit, you might like my blog. Here's my card." 

"On your TV show? I'll check my schedule. Here's my card." 

"My fan club? Come to think of it, I could use a chapter in Fargo. Here's my card." 

"I agree. Your people and my, uh, person should talk. Here's my card."
"O, where did I put my feckity-frickin' cards!!"

In the photo above, I'm practising how to walk in New York. On my IG, I demonstrate how I would hail a taxi in major cities around the world. I must be prepared for, you know, whenever. Now that I have cards.

So next, I just have to: a) remember to bring my cards with me, and; b) remember where I'm carrying them - pocket, purse, hair? Funny thing is, after being out card-armed twice already, I haven't given any away, nor have I sold any - that would be tacky. So what's the problem? Then it hit me:

I have to be fabulous to engage in card exchange, not shamefacedly lacklustre. So now there is pressure to live up to my card! It's not difficult to achieve that werewolf face on a daily basis, but that composed gown look? For feck's sake, I was posing in an ideal world completely cut off from reality. (The gown is from Pao, Project Minima. It was her Mum's.)

I should have featured stained stretched-out yoga pants and a threadbare sweatshirt, but they would have cost a fortune at a high-end designer store, and after buying these cards who can afford that? Maybe chewing gum hanging out of my mouth, or chips, would have been better. Less pressure. Live and learn, folks. Live and learn. Speaking of chips, I finally updated my About Me page.

The security guard asked me what I was doing in the parking lot above. He was worried I was taking photos of the wall. When he found out I was taking photos of myself, he felt better and we shook hands. If I had my cards then, I would have given him one. Top and flocked pants from Talize, vintage wonder coat from Super Thrift Sister Su!!

Below is the tartan jacket I farked in May 2015 here, my ruffled blouse, and pants that used to belong to Mr. Sanchez. They have a billion buttons on the front.

There was a gap in the barricades to this alley and naturally I took advantage - they weren't done painting yet. But I asked, and the painters recognized me for the debutante I am and graciously agreed to let me take some photos but to mind the wet paint. I did. I'd have given them cards but I forgot them at home.

Even if I don't use these cards, I can smile and smirk knowing I have them, my own mini passport to a world of possibilities. Bwahahaha. Do you have a card? Does it make you feel wonderful? If not, what are you waiting for? Go make another one!! I always used to feel like a dweeb telling people I have a style blog - I'm over it.

And now -

A FREAKISH YELLOW SKIRT UPDATE!

Iris eyed Frida's flower headband

"Hm, I could use a headband like that," she mused.

"Not to mention that SKIRT!! That FREAKISH WONDER."

But before she could grab it, a monkey screeched,

sending a STARTLED vicious seal onto the 

sumo wrestler's shoulder, and he didn't 

even notice because he was BUSY

mooning over...

ANJA

CURLY TRAVELLER

and the travelling yellow skirt freak show come to life

G O!   G O   NOW !!!

What a fantastical journey brought to you by Anja and the Yellow Skirt in Singapore. With a surprise Special Guest whom many of you know. Bwhahaha!!! So. Much. Fun. 

Believe it or not, I've given you a somewhat accurate picture of events in this little blurb. The imagination! The creativity! And you should see what she added to FYS. You can't miss this. Thank you so much, Anja! 

That's all for this week.

I'm linking up to Patti at Not Dead Yet Style for Visible Monday, and Catherine at Not Dressed as Lamb for #iwillwearwhatilike. See you there maybe?

Edit: I also linked up to Midlife Fun: Pattern Mix, at Tinaspinkfriday. HERE.

The power of the hair

I was in a foul, furry-mouthed, fingernails-on-the-chalkboard mood so I paired the bright fuchsia ruffled blouse with these ketchup-red polka-dot trousers hoping for something on the awful side, but surprisingly they kind of matched - I let it slide. 

So I threw on my vintage zigzag coat that I took in a whole bunch (see here) thinking it might deliver that missing expletive, but no, that backfired too because I kind of liked it. What the hell?! In a last-ditch attempt I put on the dangly earrings and polka-dot ankle boots: @#$% - they were curiously matching as well. 

I blame the hair - wearing it up made everything seem bright, cheerful, and matchy whether I liked it or not. Crabby to content in under ten minutes. Not bad.

And O recently completed another ring for me, below. I know, he spoils me! I took this photo during my walk this morning. Those are my DIY knee-eye jeans. I should have moisturized my hands and done something about my nails, but, puh.

Usually I wear the ring on my other hand but I had to switch so I could hold the camera. At least you can also see the wedding rings O made as well.

The ring is scratch-made from a chunk of stainless steel and features a black finish, which means the metal has been polished so much it appears black, and a tension-mount diamond that looks like it's floating. Diamonds - with time, pressure, and heat, look how dazzling they are! Me - with time, pressure, and heat, okaaay, moving right along... 

O used a square-cut diamond, one of my few real ones, from an old piece - without asking! He said he was "freeing" the diamond. I'm so glad he did; I love this ring.

Finally, O holding the ring. Don't worry, the diamond won't fall out, it's really in there.

That's all. Not an exciting post I'm afraid but I did make a simple video for later. I'm singing in it - so sorry about that... Heh.

How to do a laugh pose

And here I am laughing my head off, just like I did in the previous post where I'm wearing a swimsuit, me, the woman who never wears miniskirts, at least without leggings, and rarely shows her bare legs at all. Even toes are a revelation.

When I smile furtively for self-timer photos I feel like a massive doink. When I don't smile at all, well, we know the cruelty of gravity. What I realized is, why settle for massive when I can be mega-ultra-super-massive? Hell, yeah, baby!!! Go all the way! Enter: the dreaded laugh pose.

In that photo you might think I'm joking with the camera crew - well, yeah, I kind of am because I am the crew and I enjoy a warped sense of humour. 

Admittedly, just standing there in the stairwell with a tripod is an odd thing to do. The words narcissist documentarian, vain confidence-building, blogger anthropologist, and idiot idiot all spring to mind.

Look, more laughing! But so different with another outfit - you might not even recognize me!! Hahahaha!! Hahahaha!!! 

You must be wondering how I achieve this effortless, frolicking supermodel effect. Well, wonder no more!!

Secrets to the laugh pose revealed: 

• Um, open your mouth and show your teeth. That's all. No need to continue reading.
• Toss your head around a little, like you slept funny or you're at the beach and one of your fellow frolickers is about to throw you a giant inflatable beach ball. Hahaha! Hahaha! Everyone is so happy and rich and disconnected from reality. It's mmmarvellous.
• Scrinch up your eyes a bit so your open mouth and teeth look friendly, not like you're about to rip into a steak and fries. Of course, my wrinkles do most of the work for me. (Hide your fork and knife.)
• You may want to vocalize. It's impossible to put into words the sound I make, so I leave it to you to develop your own special sound.

Of course this technique only works when I'm in a safe, secure environment. Like my concrete stairwell. I know - I tried it outside today in the alley. So many people; you'd think I was in a city or something! 

When strangers are around during a shoot I could probably pretzelize a steel pipe with my sphincter. Check out that boot fringe action up there. Run! Onlookers make me get a serious face, like that:

Where's my fecking beach ball? Clearly I'm going to have to work on my outdoor laugh pose. 

Below I am wearing: thrifted low-rise Hilfiger capris from My Sister's Closet, shaggy green boots from Fluevog, thrifted blouse from Value Village, scarf from I forget (a popular source of clothing as the years progress), magic loupe and mechanical wristwatch from O. The Sheila stair pose got accordioned.

After I put these green clothes on they started whining for a compliment (heh) complement, as in complementary colour, so I added the hot pink scarf as a tie just before I went out the door. Whew - style disaster averted by quick thinking! Who wants to look like a leprechaun? Well, at least not on that particular day.

Is that a bug on my tripod?

Wearing: blue kimono-ish tunic made in Japan, from the meetup clothing swap via Patti (thank you!), thrifted Anthropologie pants, black fringed Fluevog boots from Timeline Boutique, clanking bracelets, magic loupe, vintage earrings bought new at I forget.

Bloglovin' is having a contest to see who can get the most followers in x amount of time. I stopped reading when I saw it was designed for people with fewer than 10,000 followers. Hahaha. I'm imagining they're throwing me a beach ball in the desert.

How's your week? How's your laugh pose? Got any secrets of the schtars you'd care to share?