Ruffled in a frock coat

I've been sequestered in my garrett feverishly toiling on a new symphony in H-minor with none but my pet raven Grasp as a silent companion at the window. This work will break all the records. It'll be huge. Great. Really fantastico. 

But now I am stepping out for refreshment with gentle verse and a forest shower. "O," my giddy soul cries to the heavens, "Dispatch thy muses - and a new rollerball pen." Writing with a feather is fecking annoying. And plucking them from seagulls may even be an offense. Grasp doesn't share either.

Artliness temporarily satisfied, I clamber onto nearby battlements and gaze seaward, brow furrowed (not really, those are just lines). I scan the horizon, searching, searching for my ship, which should be coming in any decade now.

It would be so much easier if it were a jet coming in and not a frigging frigate. And an airport at least has a Food Court where I could hang out. But wait, maybe my ship is a luxury yacht or, gulp, a tanker. I must consult the Manual. Does anyone know where it is? Oh dear!

Still waiting, contemplating more poetry. And owning that wall, I mean battlement (the top of a fortified wall of a castle with holes for shooting from). Bafflements is a good word too to describe a confusing wall or even this blog post.

And what ho? What's this? The royal court has decided to have an official portrait of me painted?

Me looketh upon the artist with suspicion. "O, Painter, be thou forewarned. If thou dost not capture a flattering likeness, I shall lop off thine head." (Why must I stick my hand in the jacket like that?)

In fact, I would prefer a non-likeness, so not to worry. And we would go out for martinis and pickles and swap stories on where to get good rollerballs and plumes, if not provided deus ex machina (unexpected godly intervention that saves the day), which is always my preferred method.

I love this aubergine frock coat with ruffles and my Partridge Family pants.

This outfit is a definite time-slipper. I conceived it for chasing bad guys with Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, a movie which features the phrase, "Groovy, baaaaby," spoken with a toothy grin. But on this light-rain day it morphed from Austin Powers to Jane Austen.

Details of the blouse. I wore suspenders with the pants too.

I have been possessed by ruffles and blazers (and frock coats) for almost a year now. Finally, I farked this thrifted Asos blouse by adding ruffles around the collar and sleeves, and down the front. There's even netting behind the base layer for body and lift, although that was original to the blouse, I confess.

Now I shall fark all my blouses! I would happily wear ensembles like this every single day, although I would need a hound and maybe a horse. I already have a sports car (as you can see in the video clip link in the right sidebar) and a toothy grin.

I went to another play with Mara, the opening night of Shakespeare's Coriolanus at Bard on the Beach, front row, where we were right in the heat of battle. Clearly, its influence has spilled into this blog post.

I had never been so close to "violence" before, even feigned. The blood and wounds looked pretty convincing, which made me ponder even more the tragically flawed nature of our species.

The story is timeless: ruthless power-seekers contend with colleagues, family, foes, and poor people hungry for a good line. Sigh. In this play, all the people really want is corn. Is that so hard? The lead role is gender-switched to female and played brilliantly and breathlessly by Moya O'Connell. The play runs until Sep. 21 on the Howard Family Stage in the Douglas Campbell Theatre. Check HERE. (Not sponsored)

I debuted my farked blouse with this outfit that night. Mara debuted a coat that she farked with red paint too. Stunning.

And, finally, I put together my third annual (plus a few months) compilation video of what I wore 2018/2019. Click the photo or HERE to watch the video on Instagram. You don't have to be a member of IG to watch it though.

That's it for this week.

Oh, except I opened a new page with lots of my sketches HERE featuring Ternip Hedd (changed the spelling to avoid conflict). Most of these sketches you've seen on Bag'n'B; a few may be new.

I'll be linking to Patti at Visible Monday, Not Dead Yet Style, and Catherine at #iwillwearwhatilike, Not Dressed as Lamb when the time is right.

Cheers, everyone. How does your ship come in? Land? Sea? Air? Carrier pigeon? Ether? Curious minds want to know.

Royal classy fresher knows how to travel

Several looks, several realities.

LOOK 1

I am gaggingly high class, as you know. For a little je ne sais quoi, I casually toss around foreign words like I know what I'm saying. I don't laugh; I nod imperceptibly, careful not to disturb my limbs. In fact, nothing is funny; everything is oh so dull and droll. Eye roll.

I speak softly, like a firefly - flit flit flit - no stranger to multi-syllabic words either, not I. Sometimes I even use a rich raspy "fry" voice (see what it is here). My face is of course a portrait of serenity and super-mega-awesome enlightenment. No wonder poise is my middle name. And elegance, too. Mel Poise Elegance Kobayashi, MPEK, not to be confused with MPEG for transmitting compressed audio and visuals, although sometimes I am compressed as well.

Sigh.

My clothes are draped over pillowy silk hangers in a closet the size of a suburban garage with room for four Ram-tough pickup trucks. My home is Frank Lloyd Wright original-ish and a creek gurgles down the middle of my living room for ambiance and sophisticated meditation. That's classy.

There's a little gong beside me too, which I've trained my dachshund to hit with her nose to chakratize my namastes, and so I don't have to reach for the mallet myself - so crass. I made her a special metal nose cone so it works right. And I sip stringy green drinks, which usually end up in the creek, which is great because it looks like algae.

Above, I gaze into a brilliant future of sophistication and expensive sun chairs.

O took these photos on Granville Island. I'm wearing the grey sweater-dress and maxi boiled wool cardigan jacket from my Talize shopping video. The tights were a gift from Zohara.


LOOK 2

I'm so excited about my new school! I've got my uniform, my pack, and my pencil crayons, freshly sharpened. My DIY monster truck tuxedo shirt shows just the right mix of I'll-kiss-your-ass-if-you-kiss-mine relationship I hope to cultivate with faculty and my peers. I am confident it will be a good first day - I have brought a gift for the teacher. Nothing says "accept me" more than gifts and wads of cash.

Wait, what? What do you mean detention?! Are you out of your mind? Seriously, who wants apples when you can have an appletini?!!

What? Suspension?! Expulsion?!! Hahaha! Excellent. So meet me in the parking lot for some seriously delinquent chocolate brownies. And I didn't want a wing named after me anyway!! Wings are for birds, pantiliners, and planes, pfft.

LOOK 3

Waiting for my magic carpet. It's late. Again.

I may need to go by foot passenger - I always manage to buy the only tickets. Sadly, this mode of transport is getting slower, more expensive, and more uncomfortable by the year. Although boarding is usually easier now with lower platforms, there may be a foul odour when I disembark.

The on-board entertainment sucks, especially when I'm humming, there is usually no food, unless you count cough drops, and they ask annoying security questions like, are you bringing any dangerous goods on board? Well, I do have a wicked side eye. Does that count?

Plus, they always check for extra weight - cheeky!! - and want to know if I have anything to declare. You bet I do, but it's not fit for print!

The robe and scarf are from a good friend. This is their first outing. The earrings were heavy so I wasn't able to do much jumping. I hate when that happens. It's like, jump, ow, jump, ow, jump, ow.


LOOK 4

Full circle. My royal subjects. If I were queen, this would be my portrait.

Look who came to town! It's Sheila of blog Sheila Ephemera! And L, too, but to see them in full splendour, you'll have to go to her big-ass weekend roundup about their annual trip to Vancouver to celebrate their wedding anniversary, their 22nd this time. Woo hoo! Congratulations! I'm always thrilled to be included in their plans.

We put in some time at the Telus building, where we were serenaded with rock tunes played on a Fazioli grand piano. Very cool. Then we had brunch at Medina before I had to head out.

L took both these photos.

These two are always knockouts. People get googly-eyed over them wherever they go. As for me, I'm wearing a velveteeny '70s suit that Suzanne gave me with my fave ruffled blouse and my neon orange men's XXL coat on top. Again, see Sheila's blog for more photos.

That's all for now. There's been lots going on here. I can't wait for my next several posts. You guys are the best!! Thanks so much for dropping by. Appletinis for everyone! And brownies! Send me cash and I'll name a wing after you. Hahaha! I hope you are enjoying your season change.

So when it's time I'll be linking to Patti at Not Dead Yet Style and her Visible Monday and Catherine at Not Dressed as Lamb for #iwillwearwhatilike. See you there maybe?

Cheers.

Slack-jawed in a shaggy coat, and other important things

Wearing this inhuman outfit, I went to the park for photos. There were lots of cats there. And I seem to be walking on water. Handy, because it never stops frickin' raining!! 

It's a magic cat with orange/yellow eyes. I'll call him Pyewacket, after actress Kim Novak's Siamese familiar spirit in the '58 movie Bell, Book and Candle, clip here. Ms. Novak plays a cool Manhattan witch who, sadly, becomes a normal, boring person after falling in love with a spineless man played by James Stewart. Sigh.

I looove this outfit. The jacket and vintage humongoid palazzo pants seem to match, and then I wore ruffles and that shaggy vest, newly sprung from its space bag. And the elastic corset belt of course makes any outfit better. 

Fierce, right? Or maybe I simply ate too much chocolate. 

Below, a different outfit featuring the classic stupefaction pose - you know, where you open your mouth a bit. Who knew that looking slack-jawed would be a thing? Of course this look is not unfamiliar to me; I just rarely do it for a camera. 

And I'm wearing white Manic Panic hair gel and white brows created with MAC chromacake. The lipstick, called Poe by Kat Von D, is almost black, but much of it had come off by the time I got home for photos. I belled the bottoms of these pants too. 

I learned this mouth pose from ingenue bloggers. It is the cousin of the half-mouth-droop, taught to me by Sue of A Colourful Canvas. And let's not forget the just-pulled-my-finger-outta-my-mouth pose. You can see my big fail here, last photo.

Lately I've seen bloggers rubbing or smooshing their moist lips suggestively with an index finger. Usually they have tousled, just-woke-up long hair too. Well, I think it's unfair that young bloggers get to hog all the "in" poses. It's time we short-haired (or otherwise), middle-aged bloggers moved in on these hot, hot, hot poses. 

Note the belled bottoms. The colour on the left is more accurate.

Until such happy day, though, at least I can do the one where you use your index and middle finger to strum your lips and make bub-bub-bub-bub sounds. Sophisticated, I know. Maybe I can make it a thing. Which brings me to the next pose...

It was Black Friday last week. In honour I present: the double-raspberry.

Below is the photo I put on IG. Zip it! Zip it good!

Black Friday - it sounds like a spell. It is a spell. You see a sign in a shop window that says 100% OFF STOREWIDE. You think, WOW, that's a great deal, I'll risk it. You go in. Bam, there's a wall of people windmilling their arms to grab, grab, grab. Hardly unexpected.

But where are the deals? Of course there's fine print: on selected items only.  If you're lucky there's a single cast-off on a rack in the very back for 80% off. Fortunately, I usually prefer these rejects, but it wasn't worth sticking around to find out. I sucked up the crowd buzz and left. 

A better view of those pants. Most of my shaggy apparel is out of storage now. In a pinch, I could hide a whole farmyard of animals in those pantlegs.

That's the end of this week's stroll through what I wore. It was US Thanksgiving, and I hope those of you who celebrate had a good one. It's the time to recount our blessings - there are so many. 

Have a good week everyone. Here's a link to Santana, Black Magic Woman, live in 1971. 

Yes, I think I'll also join Patti at Visible Monday, Not Dead Yet Style, and Catherine, #iwillwearwhatilike, at Not Dressed as Lamb.

Yellow Skirt Freak Show Update!! And a power suit and arty video

Choppity chop chop - the hair came off.

So I wanted to wear a power suit yesterday. This one is by Vancouver-based designer Jacqueline Conoir. I loved the subtle circle pattern in the fabric, which is more visible in the third photo. It was cool when I went out, but by the time I got home my belt was in my bag and the jacket was flapping open - an in-between season.

The next photo is aspirational.

AND...

Freakish Yellow Skirt Update!!

a desert island & naught to sustain LIFE

but the Freakish Yellow Skirt

and the artful talents of her fellow castaways

URGENT CALLS to NASA with blips of YELLOW orbs

spotted by boats buzzing the ISLAND and the freakish delights

dips twirls whoops hollers 

not for rescue - for life

tremendous applause to

ANNA of 

ANNA'S ISLAND STYLE

GO GO NOW!!!!

Such a fun, fun styling of the Freakish Yellow Skirt!! Anna, skirt, ocean - a perfect storm of joy, especially knowing how Anna is a strong woman of art, style, and the sea. Thanks to her husband for his stunning photography. Plus, blogger Kezzie also dropped by to join in the celebration later on and her mum took the best photo. You can see it all on Anna's blog here. Thank you, Anna!

AND...
An arty video. Like most fellow bloggers, I wonder from time to time why I keep blogging. So I made a video. If you come here expecting just style or a chuckle, now you'll be even more confused. My world. I filmed most of this last November, by myself, somewhat awkwardly.

AND some upcycling...
I did a post a while ago here about a men's tuxedo shirt I was given and upcycled with basic downsizing and a little redesigning, and thought I may not be done with it; I wasn't. It was missing a monster truck. I cherish this shirt now. The horizontal flaps under the truck transfer are double layers of fabric removed from the side seams.

And these are my upcycled overalls worn with my gold spangles and Fluevog booties. This was a fun project.

PLUS, I met up with Vancouver Barbara and posted her photo on my street style blog here.

I'm going to link up with Patti's Visible Monday at Not Dead Yet Style and Catherine's #iwillwearwhatilike at Not Dressed as Lamb. Maybe I'll see you there!

Yellow Skirt Freak Show Update!! And shopping therapy

Shopping as therapy? Best medicine around for a silly week of highs, lows, and loop-de-loops. Hm, what do we have here? Mega-jumbo pills, jumbo pills... Weeny pills? Pfft - not unless they have enough carats in them to fill my sick appetite.

First dose: vintage faux suede animal print fringed jacket with zip-outable faux fur lining. Grrrr! BAAA! Chomp chomp chomp - animal print eats lamb. Oh, did I say I only paid $20? Bwahaha!! Belch. That mega-jumbo pill went down real nice. Especially with a couple mixed metaphor chasers. Mmm. Sweeet.

But no! Oh no! The mega-jumbo effect is wavering! Quick, more meds!

In the nick of time, heavens almighty - it's a new thrifted faux brocade gothy jacket with silky purple lining, lace-up back, and tails. For the low, low price of $32. Why, that's a whole wheelbarrow of feel-good therapy! If I don't put a stop to this mega-dose madness there's a good chance I'll be cured. Noooo!

Barefoot photos are best. Especially on a super-soft blankie. Lipstick and big hair, yup, that'll do. Plus, going shoeless on my snowy blanket means I don't have to disinfect my dark soul soles first.

Speaking of CURES, it's time for a Travelling Yellow Skirt Freak Show message.

====================================================

The Forest whispered to Her -

Sssssh. Ssssh.

Come, come, bring your magic and

that friggin' Freakish Yellow Skirt.

Hahaha-ha!!!

Ghislana of

jahreszeitenbriefe

has cast a SPELL

silence, poems, musings

DANCING

Join her

Go! GO NOW!!!

Thank you, Ghislana, for joining this travelling show! Her photos and addition to the skirt are magic. And, if you haven't seen it yet, previous FYS stylist Beate has posted all the artworks that have been added to the skirt as of March 2016. You can see them here. Thank you, Beate! 

====================================================

Now that you're refreshed, let me drag you back to the pit of Healing through Debauchery. It's the title of my latest book.

Leaping lizards! I'm definitely hopped up just thinking about that removable faux fur zippered lining. Ooooh, yeeeeah. Nyom nyom nyom.

As for the flouncy jacket, I'm not particularly gothy style-wise, but when that psychedelic angle hit me, s-w-i-p-e, MINE! Trippy! Minuet and rock 'n' rock. Dual impossible! Like how the same vitamin can come in coin-sized chewables and guinea-pig sized missiles. Choke on that, you grammarists! Who made that stupid mixed metaphor rule? I smash it joyously.

Speaking of minuets and rock 'n' roll, such sad news that Patty Duke passed away, right?

I bought that ruffled blouse at a thrift shop a few years ago and the green corduroy bell bottoms this year. The jacket sleeves have long slits and often the ruffled blouse sticks out to create a marvelous dunk-in-my-coffee, wipe-the-table-unintentionally, unpaid-cafe-helper effect.

Yes, both of the jackets are physically ample. But they fit. Just fine. These mega-jumbo pills perfectly play out the adage that one must buy quality pieces, like these, that fit well.

You may notice that a few fringes are missing, no doubt lost valiantly in battle, but that's why I love this piece even more. Quality comes in countless levels of perfection.

Well, I'll say, this therapy is working just fine. Pills and lambs and drinks and wheelbarrows and dish rags and guinea pigs and missiles. AND Ghislana in the Freakish Yellow Skirt here. Did I miss anything? I'm sure I did, so I'll have to go buy something else again next week right away.

Tah-tah. Back to normal(ish) life. Aaaah.

Thank you for your comments about my Model Life. Hahaha!! So much fun. Claire, Katrin, Vanessa, all of them are superstars! But I'm happiest in the alley.

The power of the hair

I was in a foul, furry-mouthed, fingernails-on-the-chalkboard mood so I paired the bright fuchsia ruffled blouse with these ketchup-red polka-dot trousers hoping for something on the awful side, but surprisingly they kind of matched - I let it slide. 

So I threw on my vintage zigzag coat that I took in a whole bunch (see here) thinking it might deliver that missing expletive, but no, that backfired too because I kind of liked it. What the hell?! In a last-ditch attempt I put on the dangly earrings and polka-dot ankle boots: @#$% - they were curiously matching as well. 

I blame the hair - wearing it up made everything seem bright, cheerful, and matchy whether I liked it or not. Crabby to content in under ten minutes. Not bad.

And O recently completed another ring for me, below. I know, he spoils me! I took this photo during my walk this morning. Those are my DIY knee-eye jeans. I should have moisturized my hands and done something about my nails, but, puh.

Usually I wear the ring on my other hand but I had to switch so I could hold the camera. At least you can also see the wedding rings O made as well.

The ring is scratch-made from a chunk of stainless steel and features a black finish, which means the metal has been polished so much it appears black, and a tension-mount diamond that looks like it's floating. Diamonds - with time, pressure, and heat, look how dazzling they are! Me - with time, pressure, and heat, okaaay, moving right along... 

O used a square-cut diamond, one of my few real ones, from an old piece - without asking! He said he was "freeing" the diamond. I'm so glad he did; I love this ring.

Finally, O holding the ring. Don't worry, the diamond won't fall out, it's really in there.

That's all. Not an exciting post I'm afraid but I did make a simple video for later. I'm singing in it - so sorry about that... Heh.

Is it comedy or is it simply life?

Look who's wearing the big pants now!

Pants as in trousers, but not just trousers: my palatial vintage palazzo pants, fully lined so they swish. The fuchsia of the ruffled blouse clashed madly with the red in the pants. Luckily, both sides surrendered in a detente refereed by an elastic orange neutral zone. Treaties were ratified and eaten. I was elected president. Hurrah.

No matter how I style these pants, I can never come close to Curtise of The Secondhand Years in her unforgettable RED Valentino pants, made even more so by her always-witty text. Here. Her pants are the stuff of blogging legend.

Next outfit:

I'm standing in poo. I thought it was important to share that with you. Urban parkland. Man or beast, who's to know? Was this some of kind of cosmic life lesson on the dangers of veering off the beaten path? Or a comment on this selfie/outfit? Have you ever tried to clean poo from glitter booties?

I bought that anime denim tunic/dress from a consignment shop during the meetup. Now I know it's too short for comfort without jeggings or pants -  next time. But I love the psychedelic tights.

And a new comedy video. 

In it I'm recovering from the let-down of the awards ceremony and the discovery that my statuette is in fact a rubber glove over a dumbbell, not "gold made to look like rubber," which they told me.

The clip is also based on some emails with Suzanne Carillo and Sue of  A Colourful Canvas (we're bound for life after the meetup). This video is in part a response.

Oops! This video was a limited-run feature. It is now closed. These are stills from the video.

I also got a couple of AWESOME packages in the mail from Sheila of Ephemera and made a video of that, but I'll save it for the next post. I don't want you to barf from overload.

You've come a long way baby! 

- referring to these pants for surviving the decades intact. Yeeeah. 

I'm linking this up to Anne of SpyGirl and her 52 Pick-me-up: Honey/Service/Loyalty. The pants have a couple of shades of honey and their service is keeping my lower half decent in a groovy way. Also, the day I wore this outfit I bought a cell phone - I promptly returned it the next day. Close call.

After my last couple of snarky and also crude posts, I lost a few followers. I'm afraid things will only get worse from here.

How's your week been?