Slack-jawed in a shaggy coat, and other important things

Wearing this inhuman outfit, I went to the park for photos. There were lots of cats there. And I seem to be walking on water. Handy, because it never stops frickin' raining!! 

It's a magic cat with orange/yellow eyes. I'll call him Pyewacket, after actress Kim Novak's Siamese familiar spirit in the '58 movie Bell, Book and Candle, clip here. Ms. Novak plays a cool Manhattan witch who, sadly, becomes a normal, boring person after falling in love with a spineless man played by James Stewart. Sigh.

I looove this outfit. The jacket and vintage humongoid palazzo pants seem to match, and then I wore ruffles and that shaggy vest, newly sprung from its space bag. And the elastic corset belt of course makes any outfit better. 

Fierce, right? Or maybe I simply ate too much chocolate. 

Below, a different outfit featuring the classic stupefaction pose - you know, where you open your mouth a bit. Who knew that looking slack-jawed would be a thing? Of course this look is not unfamiliar to me; I just rarely do it for a camera. 

And I'm wearing white Manic Panic hair gel and white brows created with MAC chromacake. The lipstick, called Poe by Kat Von D, is almost black, but much of it had come off by the time I got home for photos. I belled the bottoms of these pants too. 

I learned this mouth pose from ingenue bloggers. It is the cousin of the half-mouth-droop, taught to me by Sue of A Colourful Canvas. And let's not forget the just-pulled-my-finger-outta-my-mouth pose. You can see my big fail here, last photo.

Lately I've seen bloggers rubbing or smooshing their moist lips suggestively with an index finger. Usually they have tousled, just-woke-up long hair too. Well, I think it's unfair that young bloggers get to hog all the "in" poses. It's time we short-haired (or otherwise), middle-aged bloggers moved in on these hot, hot, hot poses. 

Note the belled bottoms. The colour on the left is more accurate.

Until such happy day, though, at least I can do the one where you use your index and middle finger to strum your lips and make bub-bub-bub-bub sounds. Sophisticated, I know. Maybe I can make it a thing. Which brings me to the next pose...

It was Black Friday last week. In honour I present: the double-raspberry.

Below is the photo I put on IG. Zip it! Zip it good!

Black Friday - it sounds like a spell. It is a spell. You see a sign in a shop window that says 100% OFF STOREWIDE. You think, WOW, that's a great deal, I'll risk it. You go in. Bam, there's a wall of people windmilling their arms to grab, grab, grab. Hardly unexpected.

But where are the deals? Of course there's fine print: on selected items only.  If you're lucky there's a single cast-off on a rack in the very back for 80% off. Fortunately, I usually prefer these rejects, but it wasn't worth sticking around to find out. I sucked up the crowd buzz and left. 

A better view of those pants. Most of my shaggy apparel is out of storage now. In a pinch, I could hide a whole farmyard of animals in those pantlegs.

That's the end of this week's stroll through what I wore. It was US Thanksgiving, and I hope those of you who celebrate had a good one. It's the time to recount our blessings - there are so many. 

Have a good week everyone. Here's a link to Santana, Black Magic Woman, live in 1971. 

Yes, I think I'll also join Patti at Visible Monday, Not Dead Yet Style, and Catherine, #iwillwearwhatilike, at Not Dressed as Lamb.

Man repeller malfunction

As I slid this awesome patchwork garment over my head, I thought, oooh, this will be a sure-fire man-repeller. I'm not likely to hear: "Oooh, baby, your quilty sack with that uni-suspender is makin' me hot!" Usually when I'm getting dressed I don't give a thought to what other people might think about what I'm wearing (unless I'm going to the financial district) but nothing screams unsexy more than a quilt, especially when it's held up by a uni-suspender to keep it from falling down around my ankles.

The first time I wore this oversized skirt, to Sheila's birthday party linkup HERE, I cinched in its hugeness with a belt. After that, I decided to make the skirt into a poncho, so I ripped out the existing dodgy zipper and sewed up the gap, intending to install a new full-length zipper in another spot. But then this happened: 

I couldn't turn this into a poncho without arm holes; that would be like, um, a straight-jacket. But really, arm holes, zippers, where does it all end!? Do I look like friggin' Julia Child with a sewing machine?! That's when I discovered that the skirt goes over my shoulders without a zipper at all and my uni-suspender could hold it up. And it looks even better lopsided and backwards. Hurrah! 

Glamour shot outdoors in the loading bay

As for my man-repeller supposition, people were drawn to my quilt like moths to moldering wool. 

The first woman to comment: "You look so elegant." No, she was serious and was sporting advanced style herself. I know, I know - elegant isn't the first word that springs to mind, especially with the vest, but I was seriously working my serene I-own-this-city 'tude. I replied: "Oh, thank you. It's a lovely day for a stroll, isn't it?"(!) True. What I was thinking was: "Hell, yeee-ah, baby. I'm gettin' my quilt on!"

Next, a woman shouted out her car window, "That's fantaaaastic!" She startled me. Then, three boisterous construction workers went silent and bowed their heads shy-like as I glided past. One of them spluttered, "That's a beautiful dress."(!) And so the morning progressed to my astonishment. 

Did I hear garbage trucks? I better hurry.

Details:

• thrifted vintage crimplene patchwork skirt upcycled into a sack
• ivory long-sleeved cotton top, retail
• uni-suspender, I made it in slacking fashion, couldn't be bothered with two straps
• DIY mantis pendant, plastic bug on a Liz Claiborne Christmas ornament
• thrifted D&G pony shoes
• thrifted faux fur vest
• colourful Harlequin socks, retail
• thrifted vintage sunglasses, gifted magic loupe, gifted vintage beads

Sadly, my thrifted D&G pony shoes are going bald in patches. What am I going to do?! I can't turn them into a poncho, can I...? Glue, did you say? Neigh. NEVER!

The sunny skies, my happy patchwork mood, tax back, the phase of the moon, peaky hair - who knows what it was that turned a mere sack into pot of gold, but for this wonderful morning I was Queen of Quilt. It was delightful. It was completely unexpected.

Has it ever happened to you? Do you ever walk like a queen? An elf? A cat? Do people notice? What's the impact?

And, May 10 is Mother's Day in North America, so I raise a glass to mothers. It's a hard job (and one I turned down flat, heh).

PS: Awesome Kezzie says that this reminds her of Colin Baker's Doctor Who coat. So I shall link this up with TARDIS Tuesday on My Closet Catalogue. Hee.

Snow drift redux

Wearing: 

• thrifted off-white midi faux fur vest or jerkin gilet (thanks!)
• sweater, discount retail
• thrifted pants
• thrifted DIY-scribble boots 
• untucked vintage dickie
• thrifted dangly earrings
• gifted upcycled fuchsia cashmere arm-warmers with added love power (peeking out from the cuff) 
• magic loupe
• two long-sleeved T's as under-layers 

I lopped more than six inches off the circumference of the vest and serged the seams. What I triumph I felt having conquered my fear of farking with lining and faux fur which I was sure would gag my Machine. In fact, I was so pleased with the result that I wore the vest yesterday and today. I've worn the vest a few times in its "pre" state but had to overlap the front and belt it, making me feel and look like a snow drift. 

And while I love wearing oversized sweaters, I simply cannot abide oversized neck openings - such hideousness is unendurable - so I took the severe corrective measure of serging little darts all around the collar (see middle photo). The sweater was purchased specifically for destruction and this is a stellar first step. 

My pants might be a 2002 Pantone True Red so I'm linking this up to Anne's 52 Pick-me-up: Pantone Party 2015 at Spy Girl. And of course, I'm a fortnightly style binger over at Patti's Not Dead Yet Style Visible Monday.