Slack-jawed in a shaggy coat, and other important things

Wearing this inhuman outfit, I went to the park for photos. There were lots of cats there. And I seem to be walking on water. Handy, because it never stops frickin' raining!! 

It's a magic cat with orange/yellow eyes. I'll call him Pyewacket, after actress Kim Novak's Siamese familiar spirit in the '58 movie Bell, Book and Candle, clip here. Ms. Novak plays a cool Manhattan witch who, sadly, becomes a normal, boring person after falling in love with a spineless man played by James Stewart. Sigh.

I looove this outfit. The jacket and vintage humongoid palazzo pants seem to match, and then I wore ruffles and that shaggy vest, newly sprung from its space bag. And the elastic corset belt of course makes any outfit better. 

Fierce, right? Or maybe I simply ate too much chocolate. 

Below, a different outfit featuring the classic stupefaction pose - you know, where you open your mouth a bit. Who knew that looking slack-jawed would be a thing? Of course this look is not unfamiliar to me; I just rarely do it for a camera. 

And I'm wearing white Manic Panic hair gel and white brows created with MAC chromacake. The lipstick, called Poe by Kat Von D, is almost black, but much of it had come off by the time I got home for photos. I belled the bottoms of these pants too. 

I learned this mouth pose from ingenue bloggers. It is the cousin of the half-mouth-droop, taught to me by Sue of A Colourful Canvas. And let's not forget the just-pulled-my-finger-outta-my-mouth pose. You can see my big fail here, last photo.

Lately I've seen bloggers rubbing or smooshing their moist lips suggestively with an index finger. Usually they have tousled, just-woke-up long hair too. Well, I think it's unfair that young bloggers get to hog all the "in" poses. It's time we short-haired (or otherwise), middle-aged bloggers moved in on these hot, hot, hot poses. 

Note the belled bottoms. The colour on the left is more accurate.

Until such happy day, though, at least I can do the one where you use your index and middle finger to strum your lips and make bub-bub-bub-bub sounds. Sophisticated, I know. Maybe I can make it a thing. Which brings me to the next pose...

It was Black Friday last week. In honour I present: the double-raspberry.

Below is the photo I put on IG. Zip it! Zip it good!

Black Friday - it sounds like a spell. It is a spell. You see a sign in a shop window that says 100% OFF STOREWIDE. You think, WOW, that's a great deal, I'll risk it. You go in. Bam, there's a wall of people windmilling their arms to grab, grab, grab. Hardly unexpected.

But where are the deals? Of course there's fine print: on selected items only.  If you're lucky there's a single cast-off on a rack in the very back for 80% off. Fortunately, I usually prefer these rejects, but it wasn't worth sticking around to find out. I sucked up the crowd buzz and left. 

A better view of those pants. Most of my shaggy apparel is out of storage now. In a pinch, I could hide a whole farmyard of animals in those pantlegs.

That's the end of this week's stroll through what I wore. It was US Thanksgiving, and I hope those of you who celebrate had a good one. It's the time to recount our blessings - there are so many. 

Have a good week everyone. Here's a link to Santana, Black Magic Woman, live in 1971. 

Yes, I think I'll also join Patti at Visible Monday, Not Dead Yet Style, and Catherine, #iwillwearwhatilike, at Not Dressed as Lamb.

Flashing in the dark

I am in the bowels of my building, where all the garbage goes. These photos were taken next to mountains of styrofoam awaiting shipment to the recycling depot. It was here or outside in the rain; I chose here.

This place was almost pitch black, which made camera setup a challenge. When I was ready, I positioned myself in the darkness and hoped that when the flash went off something human would show up, preferably just one. I could have turned on the lights, but that would have been too easy. And I liked the cloak of darkness.

Running to Styrofoam Mountain. (People aren't supposed to put egg cartons in there. Doh! Can't they read?!) Except for slight blurring on a few edges below, this is how the photos turned out with a flash in the dark.

I have a need to be hard-edged, not that I'm feeling grim, not in my thinking anyway (as long as I stay away from news), but in my aesthetics. It's the season that brings it on - the drudge of darkness battling the inexorable advent of spring. Darkness will lose this time. Suckers!!! Hysterical Testerical laughter. (And yeah, I'm totally pissed off how all the good insults/slurs are usually female-oriented.)

Grasping my talisman, the magic loupe O made for me, gazing glaze-eyed into darkness, then a flash. Gasp. 

Wearing: floral spring pants, thrifted Versace, with winter somber top, geta-style summery sandals with winter socks. All wrapped up in my anime-animal (faux fur). 

Note the surly expression below. Not because the garbage stinks, but because I like it like that. You already know I have teeth, why belabour the point? 

I felt rather idiotic when my friend, who is on the strata council and in charge of recycling, came by while he was giving his mother from out of town a tour and found me with my camera and tripod in the dark. Oh don't mind me, I was just taking pictures - in the dark - next to the garbage. Thank goodness he knows me. "Carry on." What are the odds?

His mum had her camera too, to take pictures of cherry blossoms outside. My blossoms are on my pants. Next to the trash heap. Picturesque.

While I was walking to the coffee shop after this mini shoot, I ran into another friend who gave me the March issue of Tatler magazine, the fashion edition. He saves thing like this for me. He is a kind person.

Below is a shot from a few days ago, yes, belabouring the teeth. Sigh. That's the ring O made me a while ago, stainless steel and ruby. And the scarf: one side, with the blue bits, is sparkly, although you can't tell in this photo, and the other side, with rich wine tones, is the softest velvet. It's heavy. Thrifted of course.

I'll link this up with Visible Monday, even though I was in the dark. That's at Patti's place, Not Dead Yet Style. And of course I'll also link to #iwillwearwhatilike at Catherine's place, Not Dressed as Lamb when it goes live. And this last photo has lots of blues, so I'm getting myself over to 52 Pick-me-up: Navy/Quest at Anne's place, SpyGirl.

Welcome to my new followers. I'm not sure where you all found me, especially on March 7 and 8, but I'm happy you're here. (My stats didn't tell me.)

Also, there is a new Freakish Yellow Skirt stylist. Look for it in my next post! She's awesome!

Finally, lately I've felt in danger of being swallowed by so many linkups and authorities and comparisons and urgencies and pushes and pulls and rankings. That's why I've decided to return to basics by engaging more with you guys when you visit.

I'd love for my comments section to be multi-directional rather than a one-way flow. I know some of you have responded to comments all along, so have I in the past as well, but it's just time for me to do it again.

Thanks for dropping by!

Weirdest place you ever took your photos...?

It's all about the legs and man brows

Yesterday I was a giant pastel-nicotine snowball with blue branches for legs. These photos are the best I could manage. Note the huge man brows and my hair parted on the side. You may call me Sir, no, too formal. How about, "Hey, you!" I also wore crimson lipstick, but my nose is still so red after coming in from my walk, you can't see it - or I ingested it (um, my lipstick, not my nose).

Wearing:

• pastel-nicotine faux fur coat, thrifted
• sleeveless purple mini-ish shift with wide ivory stripes on the bottom, thrifted, naturally
• teal tights under pink fishnets under crazy aqua socks, retail
• D&G shoes, thrifted
• turtleneck under dress, thrifted
• magic loupe, of course, made by O

Then on Tuesdays I wore:

• made-in-Hong Kong wild, too-short plaid pants, "100 percent bonded acrylic, dry clean only" 
• shorty linen jacket from a chichi shop, Moule, from the 99% off sale rack (or so it seemed at the time so great was my joy at the bargain), gift coupon - I never shop there otherwise
• huge honking '70s polka-dot tie, hand me over (not "Hand it over!", although that might have worked too)
• magic loupe, always, an ultra-convenient quick substitute for reading glasses
• snowball coat, bird booties, France-made blouse and beret, thrfited but of course (except the booties, oops)

You can see this outfit ->> HERE <<- because I was style-eyed by a very handsome well-dressed young man on my way home from my inspiration walk. I'm slightly dishevelled, I get like that after a particularly invigorating journalling session.

This man's project is called "Faces of Vancouver" and is modelled on the "Humans of New York" concept which focuses on slice-of-life photography rather than street style, which I find even more interesting. I recognized a few of the faces there from my street snapping days. If this young man finds his way to Bag and a Beret, a big thanks to you! (I can't comment on FB) 

It's chilly here it's danged cold for Vancouver, -4C, which is 24.8F. We're too precious, I know. Stay warm or cool, whatever the case may be. 

Triple flutzing, champagne swilling, and a giveaway!

My name is Vanya. I'm a champagne-swillin' figure skater from Boroslavia in the Far West. You should see my Besti squat and Biellmann spin, only on ice, and after a coupla' bottles I'm real good at the swizzle and twizzle. I slept with all the judges so I'm not worried about my scores, plus I'm the only entrant in the +50 category. Gold! I did my routine to a mix of Swan Lake and Thrift Shop by Macklemore and Lewis, and Dentabone* has already signed on as sponsor for the TV premiere of my performance. *dog treats for healthy teeth and gums

Her powerful triple Flutz takeoff launched her violently into the wintry upper atmosphere of
pre-birth snowflakes and frozen dewdrops of spent jet fuel. She knew she had won Gold.
All this without even putting on her skates. 

The vintage coat, a Robert Meshekoff Original (never heard of him before), is beyond divine and I bought it "as is," which meant there was a big flaw somewhere, in this case, a few small dark splats on the belt and front panel, which accounted for the affordable price. Imagine my happiness when I got home and the stains disappeared within seconds of delicate dabbing with water.

Cursory online investigation revealed an expired Etsy listing of a similar coat described as Russian princess-style, dated as early '60s, although this looks a bit earlier than that. I like the label: Clean by fur method only/Do not brush, press or steam. The trim is faux fur and the body is faux curly lamb, dreamy soft.

Wearing:
thrifted faux fur swing-style vintage winter coat in champagne
thrifted granny shoes (you can see them closeup, in action, in my Man Robe video)
black tights with thigh-high brown socks on top
thrifted houndstooth brown/ivory wool skirt with suede hem trim and waistband
thrifted putrid-green neck-bow blouse
thrifted fuzzy faux fur hat (should have worn this for Hat Attack but I didn't have this coat yet)
leather gloves, magic loupe

I had a chocolate-dipped shortbread cookie on the way home from my inspiration walk, only for fortification mind you, since scientific studies have proven that cold weather (-2C, 28.4F) burns calories at 3.8 times the normal speed, a fact which four out of five doctors will agree with if they are actors getting paid the big bucks.

AND a giveaway!

I pimped this T-shirt Wednesday night (the "AND" was too long so I tried a plus sign that just looks like a "t"). Leave me a comment saying if you would like to enter and your email address and I'll draw a name around Dec. 20. You also have to advertise and "Like" me or "Swear Undying Devotion to Me" at the Elk Lodge, the PTA, Buttbook, the Girl Guides, and in a guest appearance on Conan O'Brien (or similar comic late-night TV talk show). Send evidence.

I'll ship anywhere with an address. The shirt is 100% cotton, cap sleeves, XL, from the Gap, flat width 22", flat length 27". One size fits all I hope.

Cheers everyone. A flubbed Lutz is called a Flutz (true). A klutz is just a klutz (true). And I didn't really sleep with the judges. I didn't have to - schtellar talent schpeaks for itschelf. Oof.
I do not figure skate. I have never figure skated. I shall not figure skate. One does not need to when one has granny shoes.

Maxi quilted floral robe-coat and 52 Pick-me-up

Yesterday:

I almost blew away yesterday - not because of what I had on but because of the wind. Fierce! In fact, I had to cut short my inspiration walk. I'm wearing my quilted Orientalesque oversized floral maxi robe-coat, overwrapped and secured with a wide man's vintage leather belt. My red beret and vintage sunglasses top it off. I'm undecided as to whether I'll downsize the robe or keep doing the overlap wrapping.

Below: Today

Spy Girl Anne's 52 Pick-me-up post prompt, Trend Salad, was on my mind before dressing this morning.  This is what I tossed together as my official "trend" items: my (thrifted) Steve Madden houndstooth stovepipe pants and (thrifted) pastel-nicotine faux fur. (I also have layering and a "cute hat" as trends. They count too. Anne said so.) That's my oversized DIY "middle-aged kitteh" T-shirt over my (thrifted) graphic turtleneck, topped by my (thrifted) fuzzy paisley top hat. (Help! I'm floundering in adjectives and parentheticals.)

I was (leaning) against my favourite white concrete (wall) in that photo (which I removed, the wall that is) and (love) the perspective with (the) Lost in Space hand. My favourite Lost in Space quote by Will Robinson: "It must be preprogrammed to swallow visitors." (The Jupiter 2 was caught in the tractor beam of a large alien spaceship.)

Okay, must work now. Bye.

P.S. My Biba brand from the previous post is busted!! Thanks for the feedback. Ah well, I still love the dress. I had hoped it might just be a poor cousin...
And why can't my spellchecker just write my whole fricking post FOR me?

Yellow Skirt Freak Show Update!! and more...

Thar She Blows! The Freakish Yellow Skirt

Steampunking her way across the seven seas

to her castle on the coast

Ruled by Mistress of Mystery

Sheila of

Ephemera

Dominatrix of sunshine and dastardly 

dungeon frolics

Hoisting sails and bunching ye hatches

What ho! Arrrg. Eyes spy ye 

brassy lass's blooming goodness

You must see this Piratical Ruler of FYS

Go!  G O  N O W!!!!

____________________________________________

I am gobsmacked by everyone's manipulations of this yellow skirt! You HAVE TO see Sheila's incredible styling. Thanks Shelley at Forest City Fashionista for your ongoing scheduling feats, and to Sarah of Misfits Vintage for the idea in the first place.

In other news...

Raining and dark. Thank goodness that dang sixties soundtrack of maddeningly mod swinging swellness wouldn't shut off. There was nothing to do but throw on this old rainbow from Value Village, my thrifted YOGA PANTS!! (only worn in emergencies such as when I feel like it), and my screaming sheep faux fur body casing. Capping it off was my rrrrred beret. I grooved my way to my doctor's appointment and sprayed my colour action indiscriminately around the waiting room. No surgical mask could protect you from my viral groove-oozation.

After discharge, I grooved over to a different coffee shop, where I was treated to a steaming cup of brew from a favourite barista I hadn't seen for a while. Her smile lights up the universe, 'tis true. And I journaled, as usual.

Wearing:
thrifted faux fur nicotine-coloured hooded coat
thrifted stretch rainbow dress
thrifted bell-bottom YOGA PANTS!
thrifted crackle leather Miu Miu boots with side zip
under T, sample sale
thrifted red wool beret
DIY mantis pendant
thrifted lucky charm beaded bag pendant
magic loupe from O

Of course these awesome boots are for Bella of The Citizen Rosebud and her Shoe Shine.

I feel ever so much better after lolling around the floor doing body contortions while running frantically back and forth trying to beat the frickin' self-timer without knocking over the whole friggin' tripod and all that stuff. Above all, it was essential that I be eloquent and elegant in ALL THINGS.

How is everyone managing out there? Of course you're looking fabulous but I hope your hearts and heads are feeling that maddeningly mod vibe as well.

But would Shackleton approve?

I popped my nose out of my ice cave for a moment and it froze. I knew I would need to wear my polar-bear camouflage coat today (aka pastel-nicotine faux fur coat) with my skirt hiked above where it should be in shameless fashion.

The uni-suspender I had made for a previous skirt (here) came in handy to prevent slacking down of this one too. In its normal waist position this skirt looks hideous, truly. It's always been a bit too roomy. I like the asymmetry of one side higher than the other. Polar adventurer, yes, but somewhat cavegirl too.
Plus, One must show off  One's New Socks  to maximum advantage. Aren't they FABulous?

These socks feature a stunning geisha motif, sadly hidden by the ankle boots which were necessary for my Antarctic trek. The kanji is about bringing good fortune. Hot, hot pink leggings also provided an extra layer of warmth under the socks. I bought a couple more pairs of socks in bright designs since they were 30% off. Would Ernest Shackleton, polar adventurer, approve?

Details

• psychedelic graphic turtleneck, thrifted
• uni-suspender, made it
• skirt, sample sale
• leggings, sample sale
• graphic socks, NEW ALERT! (no lucking thrifting babies like these)
• polar coat, thrifted
• magic loupe, O made it for me.
• ankle boots, retail, new 10 years ago

You've seen all of these pieces before except the NEW SOCKS. Oh, did I tell you I got NEW SOCKS?
I'm off to Patti's Visible Monday. I mustn't stop moving or I shall freeze in place. I'll see all you lovelies over there of course. Have a visible week!

My persnickety toe is cured! For now...
Let's keep up that positive energy force field for indomitable Sarah and her valiant love shack!!!

Sketches and Yellow Skirt Update

I haven't posted any of my journal sketches for a while and I particularly like the one I did below to celebrate the next 365 days of blank pages begging to be filled with happy intrigue, romance, adventure, and riches...



I think the man cat looks like Karl Lagerfeld. Purely coincidental! I am wearing my pale-nicotine faux fur coat, red beret, denim jeggings, and low-heeled boots. The cool cats are wearing things I WANT to wear, especially that colourful maxi coat.

In the next sketch called Cat's Cradle I am wearing my Steve Madden houndstooth ankle-zip stovepipe pants (did I miss any adjectives?), my Shar-Pei black wool sweater, and indigo wool beret, all thrifted.

I love my pencil crayons. It's a meditative process drawing something and then adding life with that tight scratchy colouring action. I know a lot of you have inspiration boards and Pinterest - I guess this is my way of doing the same thing. Do you colour?

TRAVELLING YELLOW SKIRT FREAK SHOW UPDATE

Helga of Helga von Trollop wears the travelling yellow skirt! If you haven't seen her in it yet, you simply MUST. I didn't think it possible, but this neon yellow is probably the least eye-catching of the pieces she has on. Thanks, Helga, for adding to the love. See her original post of it here.



Pastel-nicotine faux fur

What could be lovelier than a pastel-nicotine faux fur coat with an oversized hood worn with spirograph pants and top?



This look says WAAAKE UPPP!!! I was flashing people all morning in this sensationally googly-eyed ensemble.

Boing, boing, boing, FLASH
Boing, boing, boing, FLASH
Ooo, you naughty!

Details

• dizzy graphic turtleneck, thrifted
• dizzy graphic pants, Talbots, thrifted
• stretch wedge booties, thrifted
• pastel nicotine coat, thrifted
• green beret, gift from sensational Ariane
• black leather belt, thrifted (I should have repositioned it before I took the photo, oh well)
• fingerless gloves, upcycled from Canadian Tire automotive store

The pants are too large - they sit on my hips - but I like that slidey feeling. And they are made by...you'll never guess - Talbots, a somewhat upscale women's retailer. They have some of the most groovetastic clothing cleverly camouflaged within their somewhat sedate shops, not that I shop there - I find what I need in the thrift shops. I've worn the top several times before, my favourite being here.

I shall link this up with Patti's fantastic Visible Monday crowd over at Not Dead Yet Style. I'm lurking, commenting when I can, but your thoughtful, stylish, witty posts give me the energy to get through these busy days. Everyone is incredibly inspiring, I mean that. Thank you so much. Have a fantastic week!