Brown-patterned freezie pop with hair in it

Oooh, that red nose, it could guide my friggin' sledge in this -1C weather (just under freezing). Whine, whine, whine, that's all I do...

Of course I had to throw on my growly monster boots with a billion-inch platforms, and a demure wool houndstooth skirt, etc. The freezie pop part of course refers to moi in the cold.

Wearing

• growly monster boots, thrifted (aka woolly mammoth boots)
• wool houndstooth skirt with suede waistband and hem trim, thrifted
• R coat, vintage, thrifted
• jacquard vest, downsized, shades of whine and brown and the colour of rotting swamp vegetation, hand-it-over
• chocolate brown turtleneck, thrifted
• chocolate brown hat weirdness, thrifted
• magic loupe - gawd, I'm glad of the magic. Thank you, O, who made it for me!

All is not lost - I had hand-cut toast, steamy-hot coffee and a lovely journalling session in my cafe. But then, when I got home, imagine my disgust at discovering clusters of sproingy eyeballs tangled in my boot hair. What a mess! You'd think nobody had ever seen growly boots on a semi+-centenarian before.

You know, I feel good when I wear things I adore; however, usually my photos are a foggy reflection of that inner frisson. Except for rare magical times when the light is golden and the shutter syncs with my inner glint, what comes out of my camera is not the icy perfection I feel. Sigh. And that's okay - I love sharing whatever the media can convey. And there's always my turnip head character to show you the true me.

I'm linking up with Patti's Visible Monday at Not Dead Yet Style. Today I could use a hot toddy. But since Patti is in Florida I'll be sure to bring my swimsuit and sunglasses. Oooh, that would be a treat. Shall we boogie board together perhaps? Excellent thought!

Triple flutzing, champagne swilling, and a giveaway!

My name is Vanya. I'm a champagne-swillin' figure skater from Boroslavia in the Far West. You should see my Besti squat and Biellmann spin, only on ice, and after a coupla' bottles I'm real good at the swizzle and twizzle. I slept with all the judges so I'm not worried about my scores, plus I'm the only entrant in the +50 category. Gold! I did my routine to a mix of Swan Lake and Thrift Shop by Macklemore and Lewis, and Dentabone* has already signed on as sponsor for the TV premiere of my performance. *dog treats for healthy teeth and gums

Her powerful triple Flutz takeoff launched her violently into the wintry upper atmosphere of
pre-birth snowflakes and frozen dewdrops of spent jet fuel. She knew she had won Gold.
All this without even putting on her skates. 

The vintage coat, a Robert Meshekoff Original (never heard of him before), is beyond divine and I bought it "as is," which meant there was a big flaw somewhere, in this case, a few small dark splats on the belt and front panel, which accounted for the affordable price. Imagine my happiness when I got home and the stains disappeared within seconds of delicate dabbing with water.

Cursory online investigation revealed an expired Etsy listing of a similar coat described as Russian princess-style, dated as early '60s, although this looks a bit earlier than that. I like the label: Clean by fur method only/Do not brush, press or steam. The trim is faux fur and the body is faux curly lamb, dreamy soft.

Wearing:
thrifted faux fur swing-style vintage winter coat in champagne
thrifted granny shoes (you can see them closeup, in action, in my Man Robe video)
black tights with thigh-high brown socks on top
thrifted houndstooth brown/ivory wool skirt with suede hem trim and waistband
thrifted putrid-green neck-bow blouse
thrifted fuzzy faux fur hat (should have worn this for Hat Attack but I didn't have this coat yet)
leather gloves, magic loupe

I had a chocolate-dipped shortbread cookie on the way home from my inspiration walk, only for fortification mind you, since scientific studies have proven that cold weather (-2C, 28.4F) burns calories at 3.8 times the normal speed, a fact which four out of five doctors will agree with if they are actors getting paid the big bucks.

AND a giveaway!

I pimped this T-shirt Wednesday night (the "AND" was too long so I tried a plus sign that just looks like a "t"). Leave me a comment saying if you would like to enter and your email address and I'll draw a name around Dec. 20. You also have to advertise and "Like" me or "Swear Undying Devotion to Me" at the Elk Lodge, the PTA, Buttbook, the Girl Guides, and in a guest appearance on Conan O'Brien (or similar comic late-night TV talk show). Send evidence.

I'll ship anywhere with an address. The shirt is 100% cotton, cap sleeves, XL, from the Gap, flat width 22", flat length 27". One size fits all I hope.

Cheers everyone. A flubbed Lutz is called a Flutz (true). A klutz is just a klutz (true). And I didn't really sleep with the judges. I didn't have to - schtellar talent schpeaks for itschelf. Oof.
I do not figure skate. I have never figure skated. I shall not figure skate. One does not need to when one has granny shoes.

It's Hitchcock in 3D!

If you stare at the coat and skirt together long enough, kind of cross your eyes a little bit, you will see a 3D image of Alfred Hitchcock! It's uncanny!

It's a good thing I don't have a bejeweller because I think I would go wild on this little outfit, it makes my hair go all sproingy with excitement. I bought the red Oriental top about a week ago and had been saving it for a nice day, which was Saturday (sorry, this outfit is stale but I really wanted to share it with you!).

I have realized that you can throw almost ANYTHING on your body and make it work if you frame your hands/arms, legs/shoes, and head in the same stable colour, in this case black. It's like framing abstract art, which is how I stumbled across this miraculous discovery. The dark tips contain or cap all the exploding stuff on the central canvas. Who knew art could be so practical?

Details of the outfit:

• bias cut wool skirt with wide suede waistband and suede along the hem, thrifted for almost nothing (I forget how much). The main body of the skirt is vanilla with a houndstooth pattern in black, brown and white.
• red silk Oriental top-jacket thing, thrifted $6
• patterned coat, thrifted, repeat item
• shoes were new from The Bay department store about 8 years ago

My camera captured that vivid red so well above. And below, a little weirdness, trying to keep it real but for the ghoulish-stare face.

I am happy to include this in Patti's Visible Monday. Yay, Patti!