Triple flutzing, champagne swilling, and a giveaway!

My name is Vanya. I'm a champagne-swillin' figure skater from Boroslavia in the Far West. You should see my Besti squat and Biellmann spin, only on ice, and after a coupla' bottles I'm real good at the swizzle and twizzle. I slept with all the judges so I'm not worried about my scores, plus I'm the only entrant in the +50 category. Gold! I did my routine to a mix of Swan Lake and Thrift Shop by Macklemore and Lewis, and Dentabone* has already signed on as sponsor for the TV premiere of my performance. *dog treats for healthy teeth and gums

Her powerful triple Flutz takeoff launched her violently into the wintry upper atmosphere of
pre-birth snowflakes and frozen dewdrops of spent jet fuel. She knew she had won Gold.
All this without even putting on her skates. 

The vintage coat, a Robert Meshekoff Original (never heard of him before), is beyond divine and I bought it "as is," which meant there was a big flaw somewhere, in this case, a few small dark splats on the belt and front panel, which accounted for the affordable price. Imagine my happiness when I got home and the stains disappeared within seconds of delicate dabbing with water.

Cursory online investigation revealed an expired Etsy listing of a similar coat described as Russian princess-style, dated as early '60s, although this looks a bit earlier than that. I like the label: Clean by fur method only/Do not brush, press or steam. The trim is faux fur and the body is faux curly lamb, dreamy soft.

Wearing:
thrifted faux fur swing-style vintage winter coat in champagne
thrifted granny shoes (you can see them closeup, in action, in my Man Robe video)
black tights with thigh-high brown socks on top
thrifted houndstooth brown/ivory wool skirt with suede hem trim and waistband
thrifted putrid-green neck-bow blouse
thrifted fuzzy faux fur hat (should have worn this for Hat Attack but I didn't have this coat yet)
leather gloves, magic loupe

I had a chocolate-dipped shortbread cookie on the way home from my inspiration walk, only for fortification mind you, since scientific studies have proven that cold weather (-2C, 28.4F) burns calories at 3.8 times the normal speed, a fact which four out of five doctors will agree with if they are actors getting paid the big bucks.

AND a giveaway!

I pimped this T-shirt Wednesday night (the "AND" was too long so I tried a plus sign that just looks like a "t"). Leave me a comment saying if you would like to enter and your email address and I'll draw a name around Dec. 20. You also have to advertise and "Like" me or "Swear Undying Devotion to Me" at the Elk Lodge, the PTA, Buttbook, the Girl Guides, and in a guest appearance on Conan O'Brien (or similar comic late-night TV talk show). Send evidence.

I'll ship anywhere with an address. The shirt is 100% cotton, cap sleeves, XL, from the Gap, flat width 22", flat length 27". One size fits all I hope.

Cheers everyone. A flubbed Lutz is called a Flutz (true). A klutz is just a klutz (true). And I didn't really sleep with the judges. I didn't have to - schtellar talent schpeaks for itschelf. Oof.
I do not figure skate. I have never figure skated. I shall not figure skate. One does not need to when one has granny shoes.