How to be in Vogue and not know it

Sequins for lunch? Of course. Although to be accurate, these are really paillettes, which sit at the apex of Sparkledom. And then I like to add a little toolbox hand bag chaser. Quite satisfactory.

This week, having linked up all my interviews with Margaret of Sixty & Me and Elaine of MaturePreneurial, I decided I should update my Press page HERE, so I went rummaging online, which I haven't done in a long time, to see if I've missed anything I should add. 

Gaaa! - big surprise!

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And a stark reminder of how the web never sleeps. 

Unbeknownst to me, I have been leaking all over the place, mostly into posts about "old" Instagrammers and bloggers or "women ten years over half a century," aunts, grandmas, seniors, and the aged - in a good way I guess, right? Right? (often Google translations)

Overall, I was 1) shocked, 2) flattered, and 3) delighted to find myself in the fantasy titles of my youth: Vogue (Korea), Elle (Serbia), Cosmo (China), Marie Claire (Hong Kong), as well as other big-timey sites in Hungary, Mexico, Vietnam, Ukraine, Russia, Spain, Portugal, Brazil, Czech Republic, Thailand, Indonesia, Netherlands, Australia, US, Romania, Estonia, Japan, UK - I think that's all. 

Starrett toolbox hand bag from O's height gauge with my big, side-button, high-waisted palazzo pants

Try and picture it, me slouched over my laptop, slurping my room-temp decaf, dressed in my slobblish oversized pants and a men's button-down, scrolling, then suddenly spewing decaf, my eyes like pie plates. 

"O, guess what? I'm in Vogue?! Gaaa!" He raised an eyebrow (sign of being impressed).

Many of the posts were a couple of months old so it felt a bit like winning gold after the original medalist is busted for doping. No podium moment for me! Heh. Unless you count my red carpet walk in the concrete box wearing this fabulous paillette jacket from eco thrift boutique My Sister's Closet.

What I liked was I got into those sites not as a model but as who I am, me, Mel, and the photos I took in the concrete box were up there alongside big name bloggers with pro photographers. That made all my bungling that much more satisfying.

Definitely, time for a real drink, coffee with caffeine, and raisin toast.

But the big revelation is that none of this has had a direct impact on my life, except I was jittery for hours and will have to buy more raisin bread. Sure, my Instagram followers have been going up, but I haven't known why. And all along I've had sponsorship offers, almost all of which I ignore or decline because they don't fit with my style/vibe.

Demonstrating the latest trend of having your tag sticking out. Awesome corset t-shirt from Shelley, Forest City Fashionista, with my uni-suspender. I love the lighting I get with this black velvet backdrop.

So my conclusion is: what matters to me is the real-life stuff, enjoying the company of friends, many met via blogging, and being receptive to new experiences. For example, last night I went to a Fluevog cocktail party for Silver Foxes and Vixens  - how cool is that?! The store was debuting its new season of shoes and I got to chat with John Fluevog himself. And next week I'll attend a Vancouver Fashion Week gala, invited by a friend. Sometimes I get asked because I have a street style blog, but I could probably wangle an invite without it.

These online discoveries have also underscored the reason I'm on social media at all:

To grab the most I can out of what my closet and imagination have to offer and to share that good feeling with people who share back. I love that loop of positivity. 

That's what the Freakish Yellow Skirt was about. Remember her? (see paragraph at end of post for brief update)

My blog is where I get to do a big show-and-tell of all my little projects and Turnip Head and musings about the absurdities of life and of course my outfits, like that sweet tiger zip jumpsuit with matching quilted skirt, for example. In.love.with.it. A gracious gift from Pao of Project Minima, whose Mum used to rock it.

Of course, if Madam Big-Time Producer called me on my Bat Phone and said breathlessly -

Mel, my Lear Jet is in the no-parking zone of your building waiting for you. I need you here PDQ (NY or London, Berlin, Paris) to host our new show Farknation!

- I would oblige. It's the polite thing to do. Heh. Wearing these stripes and honkin' huge earrings, I'm ready to go!

It's all part of the fantasy: blogging, dressing up, going to galas. I'll take them where I can get them.

Fantasy and styling are not escapes from reality; they are the armour and strength that help me deal with it and shape it to my liking. (mel said)

Sometimes I wish I were born with more business genes, so I could squeeze more from the things thrown my way, but I y'am what I y'am. Or maybe an assistant would help.

But that only happens in Farknation. 

In Farknation, there's a parking space for jets on the street and my umbrella, below, is a riding helmet.

I was feeling very Horse & Hound in this outfit. Tally-ho. Or this is what I would wear to walk the corgis. I'd just need a kerchief and an HRH or HM in front of my name to bring this fantasy to life.

I hope all of you have had a lovely week and are enjoying your own fantasies, played-out or not. I'm going to link with Patti at Visible Monday on her blog Not Dead Yet Style and Catherine at #iwillwearwhatilike on her blog Not Dressed as Lamb. I'll see you there?

FREAKISH YELLOW SKIRT UPDATE:
FYS is back in Vancouver after almost getting stranded. I have to recover from that before/if she goes out again. It's nerve-wracking being the caretaker of FYS because so many women have a stake in her well-being. She has put on weight since I saw her last with all the awesome embellishments that have been added. I'll do a post about it sometime soon.

Howl, prowl, smowl - outfits for hunting and avenging

I'm feeling feisty. I like that word - agitated, prickly, energetic. So I dropped myself into a spinning tunnel of love and flowers and intrigue and lightning wearing my Emma Peel/Avengers outfit, which I bought when I was shopping with Suzanne during her visit to Vancouver. Shopping with her always brings out my inner Zoolander. She put a photo on her Instagram when I tried it on - HERE.

This is wool, rear zip, vintage, and clearly groovy, made by Gordi of Montreal. With the cooler morning weather I could finally wear it. I definitely need a soundtrack when I go on top secret spy missions in this outfit. The colour defies digitization. Contrary to what you see here, this is a screaming, SCREEEEAMING, orangy-red.

The next photo was taken in the anteroom of our squash court.

Below is the photo I put on Instagram. I use my finger as a gun, a noodly one. The only thing I could stop with that would be, uh, candy floss. But I think the world would be a better place if suddenly every gun turned into a noodle and every bullet turned into candy floss. We would become a pasta-loving planet high in carbs and sugar with a huge number of wealthy dentists. And I'd make my millions opening a tomato sauce factory.

I got lots of fun Zoolander poses. Snap, snap, snap, snap, snap - that's what happens when you're a high-action heroine.

And carrying on the theme below... In fact I wore this sexay number a few days before that first one. Guh - could you even imagine a garment so deluxe in your wildest dreams? Again, "SOUNDTRAACK!!" I scream like screamy Frau Farbissina from Austin Powers. Another outfit designed for pouncing.

Pao, author of the blog Project Minima, gave me this piece of divinity at the blogger meetup in Vancouver last summer. It was sewn by her mother many years ago and I am honored to carry on her spirit through style.

While I was on my inspiration walk wearing this, a driver on a busy street screeched to a stop at the curb to shout, "THAT IS THE BEST OUTFIT I'VE EVER SEEN!" Bwahaha. Of course I launched into the story of Pao and her mum and the blogger meetup while cars pulled around her.

This vintage extravaganza consists of a jersey front-zip onepiece with a matching button-up quilted overskirt. A big rhinestone is nested in the center of each button. Note the golden silky lining and the matching quilted tie belt. So utterly fabulous.

I'll link something here up with Patti at Visible Monday, Not Dead Yet Style, and Catherine at #iwillwearwhatilike, Not Dressed as Lamb.

This outfit brought out my scowl/smile, known as a smowl, rhymes with howl and prowl. I was imagining a roar. Don't forget, I was alone in a parking lot making these faces for my tripod, but mere meters away from a busy sidewalk - proof of how professionally aloof I am to the seething reality around me. It's is a special skill, yesh.

This post is tardy. I am tardy. Pffft. Can't be helped. (smowl)

Usually when people express interest in my style, at the end of a conversation I might shove a crumpled bit of napkin with my blog addressed scratched into it with a blotty pen. Sooo professional. So I finally ordered real cards. Now my life will be perfect.

I've photographed other outfits since my last post too, which you can see on Instagram HERE. You don't have to join IG to look. And you can search for things that interest you, e.g., paisleypants. When you click a photo, it pops up bigger. Also, if you sign up with Instagram, you will be able to comment, and you don't need a cell phone to do that. So that's a little FYI. I'd put them here but this post would be too long.

I hope you're all having a stellar life at the moment! If not, HANG ON!!! I'll send Emma ASAP with her noodle gun and candy floss maker. If only life were so easy...