Chipmunk Blogger Country-Western Blues

"Ooo-eee! You hair smells like stinky socks!" That's a phrase you don't want to hear, which is why, when I was stuffing the crown of this wig, I used clean knee socks, not soggy or crunchy ones. If I don't put them in there, this beehive hair hat falls smack in my face, which could be useful on a bad face day, but not on a day I'm wearing false eyelashes.

I dressed this morning clutching that free pass that comes with Halloween, the thought that I can wear whatever the feck I want, not that I don't usually, but I felt greater safety pushing my boundaries, which for me included wearing this fabulous beehive wig. 

Surveying the results, I decided I was Serena, a guest character on the American TV series Bewitched from the '60s/'70s. She was the dark-haired fun-loving witch cousin of the show's star, Samantha, the suburban blonde witch married to a bungling ad executive. 

Except for the wig and the heavy-handed makeup, this look is not terribly out of the ordinary. Check out the wig's pointy splendour in the photo below. Don't you just swoon for it? One part hair, one part sock. One of the best compliments I got from a stranger today was, "Wow, you look awesome, but your costume is bordering normal." 

This Serena look would have fit well with my new country and western music video but I went with my fall-back: sequins and earrings. A really, really stupid song about blogging that I made up lodged in my head and I needed to purge it fast so I spit it up in a little video. 

I had grandiose plans, shooting here, shooting there, close-ups, far-outs, and, as a result, I preemptively exhausted myself. So I present this modest ditty, 41sec. Hats off to people with real musical talent!

THE LAST LINE IS TOTALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER DONE. I'm very proud of that. 

*** Chipmunk Blogger *** 

 *** Country & Western Blues ***

And more gratuitous shots of Serena. How could I not include them? I had too much fun wearing this. 

The full ensemble above. Jeez, I look normal there. Who knew those dials and knobs on my camera were not just decorative. Yes, I tried a new setting at ISO eleventy-eleven, but I don't like the grainy quality. I guess I'll have to fark around with that stuff some more.

And that's a selfie I took at the coffee shop with my standard camera setting. Double glasses again: sunglasses in my hair and reading glasses on my face for journaling. See the cute doggie print on the scarf? Click for bigger.

That's all. I'm linking this post up to:

• Patti's VISIBLE MONDAY at Not Dead Yet Style;
• Catherine's #iwillwearwhatilike at Not Dressed as Lamb;
• Judith's monthly Hat Attack at Style Crone;
• Anne's 52 Pick-me-up: Sunflower/Joy at SpyGirl. I have the joy part covered for sure, and there are spots of sunflower in my scarf. 

Thank you for all these parties, you wild women! I'm bringing my Halloween candy. Get ready for a sugar high.

Big hair, big coat, little tape

I'll just throw on a little more coral lipstick and blue eye shadow before I pop down to the grocery store in my new AMC Pacer*. And shut up about the bag boy in the parking lot, will you? Can I help it if he has a crush on me? I'll have to get a move-on to get that Cheez Whiz and Ritz cracker casserole in the oven before the new Charlie's Angels comes on. (*it's a car, see end of post for details)

My "100% textured Fortrel polyester" vintage coat by Marty Gutmacher. Its hugeness almost put me off, but five bucks? For all that zig-zaggy, almost-crunchy '70s wonder? You bet! Without a lining, I also knew it would be less difficult to resize and I could wear it in the spring. These are the "after" shots, still slightly roomy but much, much better.

Meet me in the deli aisle

I'm wearing The Marty here with my wide-leg Grey Ant jeans, old black dickie (fake turtleneck), thrifted lace-up Miu Miu boots (with cheating side zips), gifted Chanel sunglasses, and magic loupe of course. This coat cried out for enormous brown hair. Luckily I have my "Tina Turner" wig for such emergencies. 

To bring this coat down to size, I redid the shoulders to sit one inch closer to the neckline on each side, and took in the body width almost six inches. I hardly cursed at all in the process. Is it because I have attained a state of sewing nirvana? No! But...

I often work on a carpeted floor where using chalk is futile, so I finally came up with the idea of using narrow painter's tape instead. WOW! I love this stuff: 

• easily I can mark out any shape, including curves; 
• it is highly visible, even in poor lighting; 
• it is an excellent stitching guideline;
• it anchors filmy fabric making it easier to make smooth cuts (at least for a non-pro); 
• it sticks when you need it but removes easily when you're done, and;
• the used grungy tape ball removes thread bits stuck on the floor.

Tape in action. See that 100% textured Fortrel polyester?

I also tried painter's tape when I shortened some trousers made of very lightweight crepey stretch rayon. The tape anchored the rambunctious fabric edge brilliantly for a crisp smooth cut. No freaking out! And in the future, if I want to copy an existing garment, I'll use tape to mark out the pattern. O is happy that I don't shriek so much too.

Worn with ivory silk blouse. Meh.

The bust area of the coat is still roomy (when is that not the case?) and I'd take the whole thing in even more if it didn't require time and, uh, major skills. As long as I remain a blur, no one will notice. I'd like to shorten the coat too but I think I've reached my time-investment quota.

Speaking of tape, did you know that Hugo Boss "fuses" it's ready-made men's suits together, as in hot glue? Yuck! Would you pay $800 for a fused suit? I should hope not! I would demand thread at the very least. And I hope the day is not coming when all clothing is glued together, when home sewists become home glue-ists. Or fuse-ists!

No man of mine would ever wear a glued suit

How dull life would be without dressing up and time travel. And how satisfying it is that I can wear this entire outfit for real, done so far without the wig. I'll link this up with Patti's Visible Monday at Not Dead Yet Style. If we're lucky, the bag boy will tag along. Hehe.

I found this ad by Jean-Charles which appeared in Europe for the American Motors' Pacer. To my unsophisticated eye it appears that the woman is about to do a royal evacuation on this little American vehicle; however, the curvy derriere is supposed to mirror the revolutionary curvy design of the car. Rrright.

AND, NEWS FLASH:

If you like browsing magazines but don't want to buy them, you can view countless magazines from around the world online for FREE in their original format. You name it - it's there. Go to:

issuu (http://issuu.com/)

There is a search bar to find specific titles. Probably I am the last one to hear about it since I'm not on social media, but better late than never, right?

AND, SHOPPING ALERT for Vancouverites:

If you're a fan of Vancouver-based designers Obakki or JNBY, they have generously donated many of their sample and/or new old stock to My Sister's Closet (IG here) charity thrift store. Prices for these pieces are a steal, starting at around $40(!), but the shop has a wide variety of donated clothing, from newer high-end labels to vintage, with proceeds going to Battered Women's Support Services. I've found many spectacular pieces there, including this coat. 

That's all. See you next time!

I'm feeling blue - really, REALLY blue

Too matchy matchy? 

Question: What makes blue lips all right for a fashion magazine or Halloween but usually questionable for, say, the office, church or shopping? How do cultures define the prevailing boundaries of style decorum and why are people who don't conform often shunned or ridiculed? What causes the anxiety created by difference? Are slips of conformity in aesthetics evidence of dangerous slips of conformity in thought? And why would that be bad, especially when humankind's greatest inventions and works of art usually result from non-conformist thought?

In this shoot, I simply wanted to wear blues in places you don't often see them, in non-conformist ways, on my eyebrows and lips (MAC blue cake makeup and blue pencil) and on my head. I exaggerated the blue cosmetics with drawn-on white eyelashes and white lipliner (Sephora pure white eye pencil) around blue lips drawn double their real size. I was curious to see how the blues changed how I felt about myself and how that change would be reflected in my photos. The silver sequins around my neck are a man's tie clamped at the back with a metal clothespin, and I'm wearing a thrifted blue slip.

Results

In the first photo above, clearly, that's not me. I get a Deborah Harry or Jean Harlow vibe from that one. This photo was not edited; yes, those are blue blues. I like how my eyes grey-down.

The next photo has been edited, obviously. I was just having fun.

This next shot reminds me of an anime space traveller, a doll-like creature that does not compute.

And there I am without the wig at the end of the shoot. Yay! I was getting hot.

And then one final photo below in black and white. My hair has never been shinier - too bad it's because I'm wearing a petroleum-based product on my head. I am reminded of a Sophia Loren-type movie, a tempestuous woman with a penchant for flowers.

And I wrote the following to go with the mood I felt in this photo.

"Pah!" she sneered. She savagely pulled a green onion from the flower box. "This, THIS is what I think of you!" Giuseppe, her paramour and a top vegetarian chef, watched in horror from the bar as she savagely bit off the bulbous hairy root. He could hear the soil grinding between her magnificent white molars. The chewing was interminable, like fingernails on a blackboard.

"Bwa-ha-ha," she laughed after an audible gulp. She flung the remaining stalk onto the floor with vehemence and ground it under her shocking stilettos, careful not to skewer the stalk as she did so; everyone knows kebab heels are only good for walking across hot coals. "If THIS is what I can do as a vegetarian, just imagine my wrath as an omnivore, you virus-sucking worm." Saliva dripping down her chin, she grinned a horrible movie-star grin that revealed tiny furrows of black dirt between her teeth. "I shall never come here no more. Farewell, venal brute. We are FINISHED!" 

This shoot was fun but it made me question even more why certain ways of personal presentation are acceptable only on defined occasions and in art, but not for every day. Imagine if Picasso couldn't paint women in blue. Now I want to wear this look out shopping and I hope it's only a matter of time until we see blue lips everywhere, remembering when black or blue nail polish was shocking and when dying your hair was only for "bad" women. Heh, heh.

Of course some of the bloggers I admire have no qualms about dressing in and making themselves up in what they want exactly when they want. I cheer!!! I am trying to do the same but sometimes I still feel constrained. Even today it's frightening how often ridicule can stem from as little as wearing a dress too short or cutting one's hair, or, as we learnt recently from a post by fabulous Desiree of Pull Your Socks Up, from wanting to wear a vintage dress for graduation. I'm wondering if we've all felt like outsiders at one time or another because of our styling.

Thoughts?

And...
Shoe Shine
Finally, these are my shoes for Bella's Shoe Shine. Camouflage legs. I wore that maxi dress (backdrop) and those socks today with shoes almost identical to these ones, but these are the shoes I wanted to show you for Shoe Shine. They're not red but there is red in what I wore with them. Does that count?

_________________________________________________________________________

Maybe tomorrow I'll go shopping for a pink wig. That blue baby only cost $8. 

I hope you all have a happy weekend. Signing off. See you at Patti's later. This weekend I'll be catching up on my commenting. You're all schtars!!