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Wednesday 2 October 2013

Hat Attack 3 and mini VOGOFF promo video

Whirlwind of a day: my assistant would not stop shrieking about the botched liposuction job on her hideous globular index finger (I had to sedate her); my cobbler's eyes glazed over and he started drooling (or was that foaming?) when I demanded he glue purple lug platforms onto my Blahnik stilettos; the water in my preferred downtown fountain was a degree too cold so my morning shower was RUINED, and; my arm-hair stylist is once again missing in the Alps, which is incredibly selfish and idiotic since I told him to postpone his trip until AFTER my appointment. Everyone is fired. What's happening to the world? And then to top it off, someone told me the US government has shut down. What, do I look stupid?!

Wearing psychedelic fuzzy paisley top hat with hairy/shaggy soft vest, striped oversized Talbots pants, booties - all thrifted. Plus an oversized dark navy pullover on top of my woolly black tunic. Me-made mega-mantis pendant on a broken leather shoelace and glasses. No nice pictures are allowed in this post - new rule.

Oh, and then I got a call from that biatch Miz Bagg from VOGOFF gloating about her new facial unguent. Give it up already, I wanted to tell her, you look like a cow, no amount of pureed insect dung will make you look better. Who does she think she is? 

This is my hat for Style Crone's Hat Attack #3. Thanks, Judith! (Don't you love her video?) I wore this hat special for her. It's the most fun hat I have (so far). I don't walk when I wear this outfit - I stomp. These bootie heels are the best at making noise and this hat is best at busting out a few smiles, a few laughs, and perhaps a few big gasps like noxious gas as I stomp by. Excellent.

I made the video below as a small promo piece for VOGOFF, featuring some of the clips that I have amassed from my style parkouring outings with Sandra, Lens is More, as part of a bid for VOGOFF global domination. (VOGOFF would never shut down, I swear.) I hope you like it, the video and my domination. This is my life, or at least the part that counts, the creative drooling part.

I'm skulking the net and comment when I can. Hugs, everyone!! Hang in there for those affected by the shutdown. That's some crazy-ass ship. 


  1. oh VOGOFF, I have missed you! as usual I watch your video more than once because I don't want to miss any awesome details (actually I realise that makes me slightly stalker like! hehe) and yes! fire all your staff! arm-hair stylists are so fickle, my face/chin hair removal officers are most lazy - must have words asap
    you look gorgeous, stompy shoes and psychedelic hats rule! x x

  2. you are fabulous! the video made me snort with laughter! love it!!!!!

  3. stomp on, fabulous muse! Great video, no bunny is safe -- terrifying but true. xxoo

  4. The hat! Major hat attack here! Psychedelic, fuzzy AND paisley all in one chapeau. The shape crowns you perfectly for VOGOFF global domination. Thank you for linking up with Hat Attack.

    As you know, you are my 'video inspiration.' There you go again!

  5. I cannot take my eyes off your amazing hat. I am laughing, not at you, but in sheer joy at your language and this amazing outfit. You should be modeled in Lewis and Mackelmore's Thrift Shop video.

  6. I realized I had not mentioned HOW FRICKIN AWESOME the Vogoff Video is, so forgive me. And the first paragraph of this post made me feel Sooo lucky to know you. I want to be able to say "Everyone is Fired" outloud someday, and mean it.

    I think you are the only person who can wear that hat - the two of you belong together, like Martin and Lewis ;)

  7. Oh my dear Melanie.... this is SO fantastic!! All of it... the words and the visuals... and the fashion! You are a true artist who can so deftly use many mediums to your full advantage!

    Standing ovation being given to you my dear!!! Can you hear me clapping!!

    you have me severely motivated now to do better ones. I have suffered through the editing tho and will try the editing software you recommended. Altho, I really doubt they will come anywhere near the creative genius of yours!!!
    I have one video to post this week but its sort of cheating software for editing; they do it themselves....

    And your words are too perfect and make me smile. xoxo

  9. Oh and your hat. Pure genius too.

  10. That video is HILARIOUS! Excellent : )

    Thanks for putting a smile on my face today.

    I want a arm-hair stylist. You seem to have everything that I didn't even know I needed.

    You look like a hairy genius scientist with a hat fetish. Love it!


  11. I love you. You are as mad as a hatter. (I think that is the expression. From Alice in Wonderland?) Love the video and the hat.

  12. THAT was a stompin good time ~

    You, once again, are my vlog inspiration. I must step up my game!

  13. You are a vision!!
    The video is just fantastic!! I am DYING here!!

  14. Love the little video!
    Your outfit is just fabulous. You look sultry in it!


  15. Hey Ms. Mel!!! I felt like I was privy to an exclusive art opening when I watched the video. Verry cool. I was a little perturbed when it was over and I was offered an opportunity to view someone's bare bottom on YouTube. But maybe that was art as well. I declined, however. I like your notion of art. Your fuzzy-wuzzy deliciousness is perfection. I think Ms. Bagg will be jealous of the shots Tommy Ton takes when you step out, never mind the imitation looks that Hannelli and Susie Bubble will be sporting next week!! I know, sometimes it's hard being the first. But you do it so well. XXOO

  16. OOOOO, that video is so titillating and gloriarse!! You and Sandra work so well together!
    Love that hat. It's striking and protective and would be brillant if one suddenly needs to vom. I love multi tasking items in my closet! I clearly need a hat like this!
    Sounds like life has been terribly vexing. It's just not cricket, darling! XXX

  17. I saw your picture on Hat Attack, and I said to myself, Miz Bagg is back. It's funny how there's a sudden tightening of sphincters that can almost be heard all down the west coast, a little gasping, squeaking sound.

    But her faithful assistant is such a dear. While Americans are fuming at the flipping idiots in Congress, she stops to think about those of her readers who are affected by the unthinking fools in Washington. Under that neon bright hat and fuzzy vest beats a heart of gold.

  18. As much as I love the video, I think I love the black and white photo more. Very cool...the hat, the glasses, the shaggy vest. They say a picture speaks a thousand words, and this photo does just that! You are so gifted!!

  19. Always fun and art, my dear friend.

  20. Well, as usual, you've done a bang-up job on your last post. What is it about the air in Vancouver? Is that what makes you so creative??

    You really are one of a kind. (In a good way!)

    Cheers from ex-Vancouverite in England,
    Rosemary from

  21. Hilarious fabulous video! That is one helluva hat too, perfect for stomping in.

  22. I love a good hat and that is one fine mutha! That's some video too, you and Sandra are like metal models gone mad! Love it!

  23. Love the viddy! Love any sign of you in just about anything. Can. Not. Wait. For. Vog-Off.

  24. Fired? You can't fire ME! I AM fashion. You NEED me.

    And we need you, and your fabulous fuzzy hat for wearing, or indeed for vomiting in, thanks Helga. And we need your cool videos and your stomping and your not-nice pictures, which actually are. Don't be a stranger. Mwah. xxxxx

  25. I've been wanting to escape to Canada for some time. Now I have the perfect excuse. I'm afraid that I lack the appropriate head attire. Not many toques available down here. The video is super fab. Love the Japanese subtitles.

  26. Tell Bagg lady that pureed insect dung is so over. Next season (which is, of course THIS season to those in the know - and she clearly isn't, ha! - it's all about cold-pressed lizard tears.
    Oh and the VOGOFF video: simply sublime. I've watched 3 times already.

  27. That's the coolest video clip I've seen in eons! The whole time I was thinking, "How'd she do that?" You're the most talented writer and filmmaker that I sort of know...and you always wear the best shit!

  28. Oh my god, I love that video! You are amazing as always, Melanie!


  29. That hat is insane, I need it, we need you! Stop teasing us, when's the next issue of VOG OFF? I haven't a clue what I need for Winter. xxx

  30. Are you ever fabulous you 2! there is a future somewhere for you girls- Great video, love how you put it together!


  31. You are fabulosa and hilarious amor!I want a hat like yours now.

    your videos are full of sasson.


  32. I can't wait for the next VOGOFF edition, that's for sure. It fills me up with glee every time I read it!
    The hat is fantastic, you pull it off very well. I wish I could wear hats like these but I'm not that lucky. Good thing there are beautiful people like you that we can admire :)


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