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Sunday 12 February 2017

New York and Arizona on a budget

OMG OMG - I'm in NEW YORK!!!
Yup, who made it to NYFW?

OMG OMG - I'm in ARIZONA!!! 

Yup, who made it to  
The 40+ Blogger Meetup in Phoenix,
hosted by Sherry of 
Petite over 40?

Puh, NOT ME and NOT ME!!

I'm so bummed that I missed yoga with goats, which hostess Sherry, in a stroke of genius, included on the itinerary in Phoenix. Diane of Fashion on the Fourth Floor demonstrates great goat yoga style in the photo below. Bwahahaha!

Diane of blog Fashion on the Fourth Floor.

Diane has more photos HERE on her Instagram. I figure I could get my partner O to stand on my back, even though he lacks the requisite cloven hoof. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't relieve himself or eat my clothes or hair while he's up there, but that's part of the excitement, isn't it? Not to mention the sound effects I'd be missing out on with a real goat. At home, I'd just be yelling, "Ow! Ow! Get off me!" O: "But you said..." M: "I don't CARE WHAT I SAID! This is one of my stupidest ideas ever!"

Yup. At the moment, what I cannot manage with world travel I compensate for with photo editing. The backgrounds are from copyright-free/non-attribution photo stock, which I normally avoid - I'd much rather USE MY OWN PHOTOS! which I take when I GO TO THESE PLACES in real 3D life. But this was a self-pity emergency.

So I've been feeling surly, rankled, perturbed, and cranky - which meant I had to do full-on Party Face this week two days in a row [see previous post on Party Face]. It's a recent record. Below, example of eyeliner Day One.

Yes, a classic Mel photo illustrating my black eyeliner and black satin corset, both of which are COMPLETELY obscured here. And as a sop for not being able to have a goat or O stand on my back, I have put a rhinoceros on my arm. I feel much better now. Bet you didn't get that in Arizona, did ya? Did ya? Bwahahaha!

Below, eyeliner Day Two, which includes cosmetic leftovers from Day One, so handy, but a bit messier because I was more pissed off. I wore my thrifted Armani suit to give the brand name an uncomfortable squeeze. I like the designer-with-gutter look a lot. On my lips is Kat Von D's "Poe" lipstick on top of YSL No. 208.

Wearing an outfit like this makes me walk like a predator, yes, for skulking around the grocery store, where I went shopping. But cripes, my cool stealth walk was hideously ruined by a useless broken shopping cart with whirly wheels which I had to drag across the floor. I wanted to shout: Look out! I'm heading to the dairy aisle now! It's only neighbourly to give advance warning, right? They saw my hair and eyeliner and hid in bulk foods.

In summary, in terms of clear, full-on outfit photos, this post is a big FAIL, except the first double exposures, which show the Day Two Armani suit with my vintage men's overcoat. To see the full corset outfit of Day One, sorry, you have to go to my Instagram. Really - my apologies. I get tired of seeing myself all the frickin' time.

But now? Today? As I write this I am a vision of serenity even without the goat. My hair too has gone all namasty. Really, I'm not a menace. And no shoppers were harmed in dairy. What a week! And about the blog title, "New York and Arizona on a budget," basically my advice is: don't go. How it pains me to say it. Breathe. Breathe. Find a goat...

I'm linking up to Patti @ Not Dead Yet Style, Visible Monday, and Catherine @ Not Dressed as Lamb, #iwillwearwhatilike.

And a Huge Warm Welcome! to my new subscribers. So happy to see you!
I'll have to put on the kettle - or roll out the bar cart. Yes. 


  1. OMG, I thought from the title you were really coming to my state, and had a leap of excitement! Not that I am a blogger to be invited to the meet up, but dang--might I have had a chance to encounter you? Not really, I guess. Plus I avoid Phoenix unless absolutely necessary. . .Like most people from there avoid Tucson. . . Oh well. Keep calm and carry on. . .

  2. I was at the Phoenix meet-up and you did miss a fabulous time. It would have been fabulous to have met you IRL ... perhaps at the next one. And you're right, there were no rhinoceroses to be found anywhere during our travels, but considering Melissa McCarthy's recent TV commercial, that may be a good thing.


  3. Surely to gawd Armani will be begging you to appear in their next run of adverts? Big hair, two day old make-up, cupid lips and that oh-so-pissed-off attitude, you're as cool as they could get. Actually, they probably couldn't afford you.
    And hey Melanie, if you put a shout out, we'll all come a flocking to your very own bloggers meet up - just let us know xxx

  4. awww we missed you terribly in Phoenix. There's likely a goat sobbing right now b/c he couldn't stand on you. You were there in spirit, and be assured we talked about you (ALL GOOD!!) xox


  5. i must have just missed you in NYC? Bwahaha!!

  6. Goat yoga looks like so much fun! What if they poop?

    You look fabulous in your Armani suit and men's overcoat; I love your mussed up hair and you have perfect cupid bow lips - very 1920s.

    Your background photos are very convincing - I had to read the blog very carefully!

    Have a great - not pissed off - week!


    1. They just rake it off if they poop. And as far as I know none of them did.

    2. Do they charge extra for that massaging rake action on your back? Hahaha! (Sorry, it's early, no coffee yet...)

  7. Sherry got all excited when she read you were in NY and Phoenix. Ha ha! I knew right away you were in the safety of Canada's borders.

    We all missed you. You a blogging star for bloggers. Now if the rest of the world would just notice your fabulousness.

    Your rhinoceros is hilarious. I would have loved to have heard your jokes while we had goats on our backs.

    I'm here for a few more days overstaying my welcome and enjoying the amazing weather. (yes I'm bragging!)

    Will write soon.


  8. I think you did show a good outfit. That first photo is stellar. Really good. And the rhinoceros is so funny.
    I will write you an email.

  9. Bwah! I love all these looks! Your eyeliner is out there, up front and has major 'tude. Love that you terrorized all in the grocery store (I do that too!). Hope you have some sun over there, darlin'!

  10. I found your blog through the Not Dead Yet blog and so glad that I did. Woke up to a bout of insomnia which sucked, but you made my morning better by making me laugh. Love your style and your humor. Thanks!
    christal ~

    1. Hi Christal, Thanks for your comment! I tried to comment on your blog but it said my answer field was empty even though everything was complete. I didn't see a contact email so I hope you read this! Cheers, Mel

  11. I quite fancy goat yoga - I bet they don't offer that class at the local gym. Maybe there's a gap in the market for it in the UK.

    Emma xxx

  12. So good in your Armani suit , you would fit right in at New York fashion week. No doubt you were missed in Phoenix by both bloggers and goats. Keep up with your always clever and creative style and posts , always a joy.

  13. By coincidence, I joined you in not being in NY or Arizona at the appointed time. I was without mascara, or was it eyeliner? And no Armani, goats, etc. so I wouldn't have fit in anywhere as cool as youse. Keep up the good work, Ms. Mel.

  14. Goat yoga was awesome but now I want to go to Vancouver and have a teacup rhino balance on my arm. I'm pretty sure that's the new, upcoming trend in zoo-tainment. We did miss you, by the way. I wonder if we could lure you and your rhino to Seattle sometime in early to mid-October to sit on the Troll's nose under the Fremont Bridge and maybe do a little creative co-mingling? Just a thought....

    Sure hope to meet you sometime. You're such an inspiration.

    - Sherry

  15. I would have loved some goat yoga and consider it a brilliant idea. Love your Armani suit and nobody does eyeliner as artistically as you! Thanks for the morning entertainment! You are a genius, Mel!

  16. You look like a Tim Burton character in that last photo and that makes me very happy

  17. I honestly don't blame you for not leaving Canada. I'd sure as heck stay up there if I could. Goat yoga? isn't regular yoga terrifying enough? A wobbly grocery cart counts as exercise both mental and physical. Gosh, you look swell! (I've been reading my Fitzgerald)

  18. I have enough trouble doing yoga on my own, much less with a large animal standing on my back. I like the concept though, but for me it would have to be a kitten or a rat ;)

    The photo of you in your farked tuxedo shirt with Rhino goes onto the list of my favourite photos of you. The suit fits into the NY background perfectly. One day we will get you there; perhaps by then it will have seceded from the United States.

  19. Rhino yoga sounds like rhinoplasty but without the nose job. If you'd been in Phoenix I would have been able to start checking off my bucket list. I'd have been so ecstatic I'd have seen tiny rhinos floating in my cereal. I'm that keen on meeting you someday Melanie.
    It was a wonderful adventure for this curious non blogger.


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