Sunday, 5 August 2012

My new heavy metal band in the Guvernment

Gentle readers, I have always been disturbed by the antics of profligates in the Guvernment, Toronto, and I took it upon myself to do a personal investigation - I went in. Warning: These images are not suitable for mature audiences.


This is what happened.


Mick, eat your heart out! I've always wanted to do this...

What better time than the present to start a heavy metal band? 

Who cares that I can't really play anything professionally or sing that great - I've never let a lack of talent stand in my way. In fact, in this case it's rather an asset. I don't like listening to heavy metal either, but I like what it is - serious rocking out like action painting with sound. At the last minute I conscripted a friend, Sandra, to be my band mate. She can't sing or play either (her words, not mine) so we're well suited, plus she is a true rocker chick at heart and already has the proper wardrobe and hair!

And I have to say...

THIS  IS  SO  MUCH  FREAKING  FUN!
I mean it -
THIS  IS  SO  MUCH  FREAKING  FUN!




Above are the photos from our very first rehearsal, July 27. We went in with no scores and no lyrics but it was better that way... I was planning on going alone to the booking, but when I ran into Sandra at the coffee shop before I left, I asked if she'd like to join me. She said, "Why not?" The rest is history. 

Neither Sandra nor I swear - I can't even WRITE swear words - but we can certainly SCREAM expletives until we're hoarse and bandy them about with calm logic as they pertain to our "lyrics." We are equal parts profane, rude, silly, and vain in the studio and we capture this in sound and through photos. Sandra is also a great  photographer - she took these shots of me.

Sandra brought refreshments to our second rehearsal, Friday. How thoughtful. Some lovely iced tea.


Oops, I carry my reading glasses in my tool belt (pocket on the right), and when I put them on I could see why this tea was so special. (Neither of us drinks in the studio - in fact I don't really drink at all - but it was a great prop!) 



Mag Ruffman, eat your heart out (very cool Canadian actor and handy-woman who had a TV show). Below is my Curtise pose!


Details of the outfit:
  • leatherette hot pants with front zip, $5, Wildlife Thrift Store
  • mustard tights
  • thigh-high leatherette boots, belong to Sandra
  • tool belt, gift, used as reading glasses holder
On the way to the studio I wore flats and a demure skirt over my stage wear.

"Songs" so far are below but I need a little more tutelage from O to improve my recording skills. I am on keyboards, which I manage reasonably unwell, and Sandra and I both do "vocals."

Songs so far:
  1. We're going to the f***ing mall
  2. We're two hot *itches
  3. Have another look
  4. She sure swears a lot
I suppose we're more of an abstract expressionist art project with lots of punk and heavy metal thrown in the mix. The point is to enjoy the process - any product that results is a bonus. Raw is best. After two sessions, we are both somewhat hooked!

We play at Soundhouse Studios, a new rehearsal space near downtown Vancouver with extremely reasonable rates. Each room is named after a famous studio from cities around the world - ours happened to be Guvernment. You should check them out if you are looking for a space. If you mention my name I get a discount next time we go. Tee hee! 

Have you ever dreamt of being a rock star? All it takes is 10 bucks for a studio rental for an hour (unless you're lucky enough to have your own place) but you'll come out feeling like a million. And hats off to the many people who have serious talent and play in bands for real! 

I'm linking this up with Patti's Visible Monday over at her fantastic blog Not Dead Yet Style. I certainly felt visible in this even if I only wore it to the Guvernment. What would you wear to the Guvernment?
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PS. A big Thank You to beautiful Lyosha at Inside and Outside for nominating me for a LIEBSTER AWARD!! I'll include a proper response in an upcoming post!!

56 comments:

  1. Okay. I quit. You have just skyrocketed to the next level!!!!! I know everyone is going to say they want to be in your band-who wouldn't?!!!! And never mind the music, half the fun is in the clothes!!!! Who cares what you sound like if you look good and have charisma!! I'm guessing you'll be the slightly shy cutie who everyone falls in love with, or secretly wants to be. I know I do!

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    1. Jean, if you were here I'd sign you up in a flash!! With your voice? Wow. I'm thinking that at some point we might put a call out for video clips of you and everyone dressed and dancing to a preset tempo, probably 120, to edit into a piece. Wouldn't that be fun? Photo shoots are a big part of our sessions. For now, it's one day at a time.

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    2. I've been wanting to visit Vancouver desperately.. Maybe I can write it off if there's a gig involved. Whaddya say?

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  2. This is the best thing I have ever read :-))

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  3. Oh, gosh, Melanie, I try not to envy but I want your life! I swear I can learn to swear too much. You rock and rule.

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  4. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
    I'm SO excited!
    Being able to sing or play an instrument has NOTHING to do with rock n roll,it's all about the attitude!
    I wanna join your band!I swear dreadfully,so I can do the swearing bits?!Hahahahaaaaaa
    I was trying to get a bit of a girly punky/rocky band going a while back,but I can't organise my way out of a wet paper bag! I did have one song idea, "I think I'm turning Lezzo".You can steal it if you like!
    You both look HOT and exceptionally ROCK N ROLL and I'd throw my panties at you anytime!!!
    XXXXX

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    1. Helga, you're one of those cool talented people I mentioned who is already in a band!! Your voice is awesome and you play REAL gigs. How cool is that??!!! Don't throw your panties - throw me one of your awesome red frocks!

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  5. Grrrrrl Power!
    You are awesome. I'll be your groupie!

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  6. I was rather hoping for a linkie to download y'all on iTunes but you're pro'bly too major for that :p

    I say, I have like 27 pairs of reading glasses, and wearing them on a tool belt seems like a rather smashing idea.

    Long live the ravishing Curtise!

    Also, despite my B.A. in English Lit, I have a natural gift for dropping them F-bomb, and therefore would be the perfect groupie and general hanger-on-er. Call me!

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  7. Oh my god, you are just awesome! I used to date a thrash metal musician, and got into that scene in the early 90s, so I am quite familiar with the singing/lyrics.

    Love your outfit - the tool belt is hilarious.

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  8. I want to buy the album!!!! I love the mustard action Melanie! Awesome!!!! I am copying what Jean said, "Who cares what you sound like if you look good and have charisma!" But I am having a feeling you sound pretty good. :-)

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  9. WHOA! Who knew a toolbelt could be so wickedly rock n roll!?...and hot.

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  10. Melanie you are so my inspiration to stretch myself creatively with fashion! You my dear do it with so much passionate enthusiasm...you my dear are the true fashionista!

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  11. These photos are so much fun! Did you do some photoshopping on Sandra's right hand in the photo where she's holding the Jack Daniels? I could swear she's flipping us off but a tiny bit of airbrushing was performed perhaps? ;)

    My son has a drum set down stairs and I bought a bass guitar and large amp so that I could hear it over his drums. He and I jammed pretty well a few times and I have to tell you I have never felt something so powerful than two people making music together, seriously. I felt completely fulfilled and transported to another world. At the end of one of our sessions I mentioned how fantastic I thought we sounded. And he said, "But you're not going to be in my band though." UGH! That took the wind right out of my soul. ;( That little brat.

    Do you guys need a bass player? I'll bring the whiskey that we won't drink.

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    1. Ha! - No flipping off here. She's doing a horns metal gesture, middle and ring fingers down, pinky and index up. She was a bit bummed I think that the effect was hidden by her hair.

      You play bass? That is awesome. It is so empowering. How cool that you can jam with your son. I'll bring the cups that we won't use!

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  12. That's brilliant! What a total riot....I'd love to have a go and that.
    And can there be too much swearing? I think not.
    You look amazing you rock baby, you.xxxx

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  13. Melanie, I am grinning from ear to ear reading this and looking at these great pics! What a fabulous thing to do. I love to sing, as the neighbours will attest, and we have karaoke parties from time to time. I love it, the neighbours... Not so much, I think!
    I swear like a navvy so I can join Helga on backing vocals providing all the profanity!
    Leatherette hot pants? Thigh boots? Only you could wear those with a tool belt, that did make me chuckle! Wow, your legs go on for EVER! Sandra looks like a real rock chick, her hair is glorious.
    I wanna be a rock star! I wanna be in a band too! I wanna be you!
    Ps. Ha, thanks for the name check! I may not be a rock star but I have a trademark pose, that's something! xxxxxx

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    Replies
    1. I thought of you and Desiree and Vix when contemplating those hot hot pants and decided to go for it. I was rewarded at the checkout when the guy said $5.

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  14. Oh yes - I would buy your album in a FLASH! I suspect that I will especially love 'She sure swears a lot' FUCK YEAH! You look ABSOLUTELY AMAZING - the boots, the hot pants, the tool belt... you are my kind of rockstars! Sarah xxx

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  15. just following on from Curtise, I love singing and want a Karaoke machine for my birthday! You look amazing!! Look at those legs - wowzers! I love the tool belt - you make tool belts look sexy. This is just a fantastic idea!

    I really think you ought to get "Rock Band" It's a great game - though you need an Xbox or Wii or something to play it on. Then you can sing rock classics from the comfort of your sofa, when there's no studio available. Plus it has the added bonus of tell you you're AWESOME every so often!

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    1. ps: look on youtube for a song called "my panties are too tight" - I dunno I just think it would suit your band... a cover perhaps?

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    2. I just watched that video. Ha! I love it! Even if I wanted to I can't karaoke at home - logistics. You must have incredible fun!!! I hope you get that karaoke machine. I have an "applause" sound effect somewhere but how cool that your Xbox tells you you're awesome!

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  16. Whoaaa, I never saw that coming...Melanie: the Rocking Frock Star, I mean THE FROCKING ROCK STAR! Too funny that you had disguised yourself on the way to the recording studio. If you would've worn dark sunglasses and your rocking outfit, I'm sure you'd be ambushed by paparazzi and groupies galore. I think you've got something going here...

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  17. Amazing post! You outshine most rock stars, and I can't wait to buy your album! You have the most incredible legs, I have to admit I envy you! Fantastic boots - and brilliant tool-belt-bag! Please remember Denmark when you go on tour!

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  18. Well I can certainly sing along with " She Sure Swears A Lot" In fact, I'm pretty sure it's my theme song! Melanie, you are the BEST!!!! Rock on!
    Connie*

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  19. Ever since seeing Liza Minnelli in 'Cabaret' screaming at the top of her voice under a railway bridge as the train passed over I've thought how good it is to really let go. Can't hold a tune to save my life but I can strut and bang drums - can I join?

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  20. You are one hot rock star! Gimme those boots, now! Can't sing? So what, you were born to be in band. xxx

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  21. You're outfits are awesome, you have fantastic style! Love it!

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  22. I can see it all now...the coolest band in the universe "The Bitchin' Bloggers"! We've all got the outfits. Now if we can just get Vix, Sarah, Desiree, Curtise, Joni, Jean, Helga, and your Sandra to agree on a rehearsal time. I used to take saxophone lessons!

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  23. Another creative endeavor!! Can't wait to see you become a star, but then you already are one. Those boots were made for your new image and you already have a studio. Outstanding!

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  24. Wow, this much fun must be illegal. I love that tool belt and tights outfit. Rock on!

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  25. Janis would be proud! I'd come bang my head with the two of you. And until now my husband's tool belt has been safe...how can I work it into an outfit. Lovin' the boots. Want a free tune...

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  26. WOW>>you nail the rock star look! Love the passion in the pictures - who cares if you can sing or not (probably you can though!!:-))
    Toolbelt is new!;-) Hope you are having a wonderful day!
    -Jyoti
    Style-Delights Blog
    Style-Delights on Bloglovin

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  27. that is so fuckin' awesome. proud that you didn't let age, or lack of musical ability to stand in your way. hey, maybe we could start up a doom folk band- i'm feeling slightly macabre and Norwegian!

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  28. Oh you are just FABULOUS!!!!! The world is a better place when you can let your hair down and rock like the rolling stone. This is the best fun ever, tee hee!!!!!!
    A record deal in the making.
    Love v

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  29. jjajajajajaja what a fun, looks like a rocker metal girls... I'll like to dance to the beat of your band...

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  30. So there is no end to your talent?! Especially if it is fuelled by iced tea. Whatta hoot. Good on ya. Push that envelope!

    Cheers from England,
    Rosemary www.foreveronthecatwalkoflife.com

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  31. Let me know when the album is out!
    You might not sing but you have the outfit!
    Long legs you got there, good God!
    The boots are fantastic and those hot pants, hey, hey, hey;)

    Ariane xxxx

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  32. *uck yeah!!!!! OMG I am loving this! What a great idea. It feels really good to just let go and pound on drums and sing! Both you ladies look so rocking and you can see the exuberance on your faces. I am banging my head of pink hair at how utterly bad ass you both are!
    XXOO
    Krista

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  33. You look like a really, really fierce rock star! Such a cool rockin' outfit. You do have some really fine legs!

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  34. You guys look like you're having a blast & you look cool doing it!

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  35. Your yellow outfit is awesome!

    www.stills.rs

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  36. I think that last song should have a power ballad reprise -She sure F***ing Swears A lot. Love it.

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  37. You know what comes next right? On the road for days, the drugs and alcohol and an endless parade of men!
    Looking forward to the release of your first CD!

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  38. This is awesome. You don't need no stinking lyrics! Rock music is nothing but noise, anyways!

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  39. You look awesome both in the first outfit { black top with jeans} and the second one {black and yellow}. Your friend and you are both fit to lead a rock band because of your spirit and energy levels. Would love to see/hear your performance in a future post of yours !
    have a nice day,

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  40. Awesome! Going into a rehearsal room and rocking out with the girls is amazing. I haven't done that in years (I used to play the bass guitar) and I wish I could do it again!
    I can't wait to hear the actual songs, as the titles are truly suggestive!
    As for the leatherette boots, they are da bomb. I want a pair of those too! Possibly a bit too much for the office (as most of my clothes anyway) but still, I'm lusting after something like that!
    xx

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  41. I have to post another comment letting you know how awesome you are.

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  42. OMG that outfit is just pure genius!! And I wonder if you'll share some of your musical genius with us too? Time will tell, eh, is there anythign artistic you *can't* do, you clever girl.xx.

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  43. this is too cool for words!!! i would love to hear you guys!! hope you have tooooons of fun



    kisses A.

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  44. With those tights and those boots, you can do anything! Rock on!

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  45. This is amazing. I love your outfit!! So bitchin.

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