My awards ceremony in New York!

You'll never guess!!

Yesterday I was whisked off to New York by Concorde to accept this prestigious award from the Academy of Interior Design & Horticulture: 

Schpetacular Achievement Award 2015!

It's a fancy way of saying I have been the world's top expert on home design/decor and gardening in 2015!! I know. I know. I couldn't have been more surprised than you are! O fainted.

What an immensely gratifying win it is after all my years of slavish devotion in making my home a cozy kingdom of creature comforts, despite doing my best to keep them out from under the bed. But this award was more for my writing about things I know absolutely nothing about than actual practice, as is so often the case. 

You may be surprised to learn that I penned these billion-dollar best-sellers: 

• Discovering your Inner Pine Cone, celebrating the unspeakable joy of pine-cone table-toppers and other home decor items made from twigs, bark, leaves, and spray-can snow; 

• Lapdancing: Creative Napkin-Folding for Every Occasion (x-rated cover photo), with contributions by "Suzie," in-house professional at The Penthouse strip club;

• The Dark Side of Glitter, an expose of the dirty secrets behind interior decorating and crafting. Suzanne helped me with this book.

I hope you already have your signed copies. If not, they are available through Miz Bagg Entertainment Management for $10,000 each. Get yours before prices skyrocket on the back of this coup of recognition.

I wish I could have invited you to the gala but it was hush-hush until the last minute; I didn't even know I had won until they pulled my name out of their arse.

So I am sharing with you a couple of clips of my special day, including my acceptance speech and musings at the glittering after-party. The Academy swears that the statuette is made of pink gold... See for yourself.

WARNING: Crude gestures and coarse language. But I was forced into it, I swear and swear and swear. I bleeped whenever possible. You have to watch both videos, not just one, and in order. Now go! Heh. I'm so bossy. 

This shoot was really fun for me, if no one else. The challenge was to see what it's like to fake laugh and improvise a character alone in front of my tripod, and then bring it to life.

For my inspirational book cover, I used three pine cones I found on Granville Island having gone there on my inspiration walk yesterday morning specifically to look for them. These were the only ones left - meant to be. Meant to be, folks.

I am The Ice Queen

Test shot, wearing XL-sized Eileen Fisher top in softest cotton, 

a favourite lounge piece thrifted from My Sister's Closet

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You know that saying, fake it till you make it? How about, make it as a fake? Heh.

Ciao, my beauties. I hope my crude behaviour didn't offend you. That was completely out of character, as any of you who know me will swear too. Bwahaha. 

If you watched the clips, then clearly you have tarried at this post beyond all health & safety blog visitation recommendations. Congratulations. Now go get yourself a treat! Sweet? Savoury? Or both...? Or perhaps a liquid?

Yellow Skirt Freak Show Update!! and more...

She has LANDED in London, Ontario that is, the

Travelling Yellow Skirt Freak SHOW,

where she was gently coaxed from

SHY LARVA to brilliant b u t t e r f l y 

by THIS WOMAN:

S H E L L E Y of  

Forest City Fashionista,

(aka the latest VOGOFF cover girl).

Go! GO NOW!!

 Feast your eyes!

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In other news:

You may know that Tamera, the Menopausal Supermodel, has hosted a Black & White Party in support of people living with chronic illnesses and conditions. Below is my contribution to her fantastic awareness campaign, my black tunic with black jeggings, black flats, and my black and white hat. Oh so demure.

I look forward to seeing what everyone else who participated wore!
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But this weekend, I wasn't only wearing black and white...
I was the Thrifted Creature from Paillette Lagoon. Below I am shown immediately after crawling out of the lagoon (to my right) and sprouting human legs. I had to dry off before beginning proper human adventures.

Oh yes, Sandra and I were Style Parkouring again. No place is safe in Vancouver. Above I am sighing with grand drama outside an office tower, staring wistfully past the hoards of boring bustling bankers in blue suits, wondering, Now that I have legs, where, oh where is Rudolph (Valentino) to whisk me away on his camel?

Sometimes my clothing is a projection of my mood, but in this outfit I was one single entity, clothing and spirit united, creature from the paillette lagoon. 

In fact, the drama in this location was also the result of fretting that the concrete would snag my rubbery legs, but Sandra was kind enough to lend me her scarf to sit on to minimize snaggage damage. That's true friendship, folks. 

You may recall that I was nervous to wear this shocking hot-pink hot pant ensemble in pubic, expressed here. That fear was remedied quite nicely with this gold lamé second skin which Miz Bagg debuted in VOGOFF December 2012. The metallic gold rubbery substance not only normalized the look but its insulating anaerobic powers kept the day's chill at bay. I wore pantyhose as an under layer as well to prevent the synthetic skin from sticking to my legs. 

Yes, a different location but Sandra and I really had that architectural cross/water thing going on. Having experienced the absolute joy of life as this creature, I shall assuredly wear this ensemble again, provided the lycra dries without black mold. And I'm glad I was running late in the morning because there was no time to have second thoughts about this outfit. 

Can you believe the shine from those paillettes? - the perfect antidote to an overcast day. Sandra and I brought smiles and gaping mouths everywhere we went.

Details

hot pink bouclé hot pants and jacket, thrifted

gold lamé lycra bodysuit, rear zip, thrifted

gold paillette top, thrifted

brown crackle leather Miu Miu boots, thrifted

magic loupe, O made it for me

pantyhose, retail

I am definitely linking this up with Patti's Visible Monday at Not Dead Yet Style. I may be a cold-blooded creature, but I still like to socialize with humans.

And above, Sandra of Lens is More looking uber cool. After we finished our shoot, we went thrifting. Oh my! The treasures we found, the restraint we didn't exercise - shocking - but that's for another post.

And that's all for now. I hope I haven't missed anything... Have a great week everyone!! 

Blinded by the light

It's the power of gold spangles, my friends. This treasure cast so many reflections that my elevator became a private discotheque. When I stepped onto the sidewalk, the entire city lit up in sparkly madness.

The day I bought this top I entered my favourite thrift store determined not to find anything. After careful scrutiny of every corner I had achieved my targeted disappointment. But of course, like any good soldier of style, I had to do a second sweep - JUST TO MAKE SURE! On my way out, the glint caught my eye...

Details:

• gold sequin top, thrifted (same neck style as the sparkle catsuit of a couple posts ago)
• maxi floral silk skirt, Debbie Suchat sample, thrifted, last seen as spring skress HERE
• ankle boots, you've seen them all over the place, new long ago
• oversized mauve silk blouse, hand-me-over from time-sealed treasure chest
• magic loupe, O made it for me
• maxi cardi with convenient pockets located at knee height, sample sale, Metallicus 
• unseen: mustard tights and wild diamond-patterned socks, for a future post...
• toolbox handbag, not shown here but it was my bag du jour

Below is how I looked outside with my cardi against the chill and my street style camera.

When I wear this skirt the way it was designed, as an actual maxi skirt rather than as a skress, the waist settles around my hips so that the hem elegantly sweeps the floor, or sidewalk - not so elegant! So I rolled the waist to shorten the length, which worked for a while at least.

In this outfit I envision myself centre stage playing electric guitar for the song "Blinded by the Light" by Manfred Mann, never mind that I can't play electric guitar...



Does anyone know the REAL lyrics by heart?... If you do, you have my admiration. I hope you're having a week full of sparkle, real or imagined.