Fake life imitates art in a fake life, and Hat Attack! Second try...

Oops, I deleted my whole post by mistake. So... 

NOW I'M REDOING IT!!! THAT'S MY DISRUPTION!!!!

Wearing thrifted mustard muppet coat, thrifted hard-worn tie-dyed cotton top, thrifted stretch tartan skinny jeans, black glitter platform shoes, thrifted silk scarf. Kitty is wearing whatever he likes. I don't remember what caused the disruption (yeah, because I have a new one) - probably a screaming child - but I do remember tearing down the highway in Kitty's red Bugatti before we hightailed it back to Carnegie Hall for his concert. Good times, friends.

Hello harlots - Today I unveil the newest trend which I, moi, have created in my genius-infected brain. Since my fired incompetent assistant Enid is locked in VOGOFF's closet, she pathetically failed to escape and restock my hair products. What choice did I have but to hang upside-down for this photo to achieve hair volume? The Boys are on their way over with the inversion harness on wheels, a hoist, and a truck to take me shopping. I call this "Eco Hair" - volume without the mess. When I think of all nature's precious and usually cute creatures I am saving by hanging upside-down and not using nasty, vile hair products I shudder and a tear escapes my eye and rolls into my eyebrow. My processional route is sterilized in advance but you unfortunates can use Eco Hair to sweep your floors and those little pennies that get stuck in your tangles may help you with the groceries. Poor dears. Ba-bye! Miz Bagg, Your Bagness.

I thought it would be fun to imitate Anne's awesome sketch of Miz Bagg that she posted at Spy Girl so I hung upside down off the table because, seriously, I didn't want to put product in my hair. Not comfortable - product or pose! I had to run and fling on a 10-sec timer. My sunglasses, the biggest pair I have, kept falling up over my forehead - not a usual problem. The dress, though, is divine, a thrifted maxi, made in France, wool/mohair blend with sparkly gold-thread serging and an elegant hoodie hanging up by my ear. I am using the hoodie as a poor excuse to join Judith's Hat Attack 21 at Style Crone. Thanks, Judith!

The view from my coffee shop, one of Vancouver's most upscale clothing department stores, Holt Renfrew:
"ARE YOU AN CON: Legendary moments await." I thought, what an interesting campaign, even though they got the "an" wrong, until I realized that the "I" was concealed by the light post. Boring after all.

So my upside-down photo is life imitating my fake life imitating art imitating Anne's fake life in her fake journal. I love the fake journal project Anne does, and how thrilled I was to see that she had incorporated Her Supreme Betchness in her story of Enid. Thank you, Anne. You have revived Miz Bagg! I look forward to more of Enid's adventures. Tee hee.

And - "What? More jeans? Stop! Stop already!" Blame it on the runners. I have been enjoying the fleet-footed freedom of these shoes, the knowledge that I could bolt at the drop of a chocolate - to catch it before it hits the ground. The words alone - sneakers, runners - conjure up dusty playgrounds, monkey bars and squeaks on gym floors.

These are my thrifted black jeans, $5, thrifted black blazer that fits like a glove, $5, thrifted man's shirt, more than $5, scribbled-on thrifted sneakers, colourful Harlequin socks, retail, and of course my magic loupe from O. A neighbour said I looked boyish in this. Coltish is good too. Not to be confused with the old grey mare. Or mutton. Or any other farm animal. Although I am good at bull.

Thanks for all your comments in my last post about IG. Lots to think about. Also, I'm not ready to give up on blogging.

PS If you have published and then accidentally lost a post, search for it online and you will find the cache that you can copy. Whew!

Thinking in the forest in the box

It was late and the woods woke her up. They were calling her - the elves, the gnomes, the fiery sprites.
She tiptoed through the brambles into a moonlit clearing (as much as one can tiptoe in glitter platform shoes). And dang those picker weeds, snagging her Vegas sparkle onesie all to heck.
"Okay, ya wise guys, you've got me here, now what the heck do you want?" she called into the darkness. "Don'cha know it's Christmas?" Soon critterly giggles filled the green air as her motley crew of geeks and ghouls joined her on a rotting log for eggnog toasts to another holiday got through. "I'm glad all the stores are closed," she sighed. They sighed with her as they helped pick those pickers off her divine palazzoed legs.

Now that it seems everyone is thinking outside the box, I decided to go back in, where the quiet and solitude of the vacated space set my dreams in motion. There's far too much commotion outside and I'm not convinced that the change of scenery will have the major impact those hopeful migrants counted on. I'm just glad they took the clutter with them when they left.

It's best to keep the lid open. But a lid on your head will help keep your ideas fresh. Maybe instead of moving in and out of boxes, we should all simply wear fabulous hats.

I'm a cardboard-backed cut-out, oh so two-dimensional, about 8cm (4in) tall, of my post for Mis Papelicos' Share-in-Style Christmas link-up. Other than resizing or desaturating or blurring, the camera did all the work. As it turned out, one of the pieces of scrap paper I grabbed for lining my box was dialogue ideas about colour, imagination, and freedom for warm-up exercises at one of my Painting Big workshops. 

In the first images I used printouts of shots I had taken of trees at a local park as the box lining. Spooky. The shadow cast by the cut-out creates an illusion of three dimensions in the surroundings. Uh-oh, I think O's small work is contagious!

And then below is the turtleneck I chopped off and showed you in a previous post but now with a little sausage kitty embroidered on it. Much better. 

In the box, out of the box, straddling the box?! In or out of your sphere or your mind? One thing I am sure of is that our paths usually seem to intersect at different points like a crazy spirograph life. This box project is fun but maybe I'll have a quick peek to see what's going on outside - rain no doubt. 

Make sure you get the proper amount of hydration and solids in the days to come. For those of you who had holidays from work, I hope you are enjoying them. Suit up (armour up) for BOXING DAY BLOWOUT GATECRASHER MADNESS!!!! I think I'll stay at home and play more with cardboard and paper. 

Queen of Post-Wit

Now for the details:

In the first photo, that wonderful sparkly hat was hand-knit by Thorne Garnet, sent to me as the winner of her draw quite a while ago, first posted here. The kitty sweater is a DIY first shown here. Some of the photos are stills from video clips, which is why they are not as crisp as I like, caught in motion. The video will have to wait.
News: Lots of fog here. That's all.

And you can vote for me for BEST CANADIAN FASHION BLOGGER?!, although I'm not the sort to write posts on must-have trends. Many of my favourite other Canadian women bloggers are entered too, so, as Ariane put it so well on her blog, Style Sud-Est, "Let's beat the young trendy nymphet!"

And if you still have an urge to click, Rosalind Jana of Clothes, Cameras, and Coffee is in an exciting competition as well, h.club100 for Innovators, Visionaries and Pioneers. You can vote for her here.

Not much writing today - the word well is dry. They'll come to me tomorrow no doubt. The day after I put up my previous rabbit post I was pissed off that I hadn't named it Bad Hare Day. Do you ever do that? Queen of Post-Wit. Have a great week all.

My big man pants

My biggest fear with these pants was that people might try to throw garbage down them.

My big man pants - so big I don't have to unzip them to put them on. I love them. But I needed to find a way of keeping them up with minimal sewing. My solution: thrifted vintage suspenders (braces) and silver studs with a cross motif. The studs were tricky to hammer on because the waistband fabric was multilayered. To keep up the cuffs, I made black leather tabs using the suspender tabs as a pattern and whacked in more studs, four on one leg, two on the other (I ran out of studs, minor detail).

When I wore this outfit for the first time this morning, I had on heavy-duty black army boots for a Charlie Chaplin air, but I chose these lighter flats for an early evening stroll with O. He took this photo.

(ed. note: I wore this on Friday. I wore the big hat in the earlier post on Thursday.)

Details

men's big dress pants, wool, free from time-sealed treasure chest, upcycled

under-pant black jeggings, sample sale

vintage suspenders, thrifted

2 long-sleeved T-shirts, retail

sweater, thrifted, shortened and kittified

beret, thrifted

vintage sunglasses, thrifted

tool box handbag and magic loupe, from O

shoes, retail

These pants would also be ideal for an all-you-can-eat buffet because the legs would hold several days' worth of food, although getting home might be troublesome.

I'm hooking this up to Patti's fabulous Visible Monday. Finally, I'm on time for this one.

Do you have sewing shortcut secrets? How do you hoist, pinch, and tuck? Or perhaps you are skilled with needle and thread, all the better! See you at Patti's. I hope you have a wonderful week.

On another note, Miz Bagg went out with Sandra on the weekend for a photo shoot and we took some wretched photos, a few truly hideous ones, which made the outing so incredibly satisfying. It's the permission we give ourselves to fail miserably and be humiliated that makes it fun and gives us quite a laugh. If you're wondering about submitting to VOGOFF, remember, there are no mistakes. Some of the best photos are mementos of the greatest flops. Don't think too much!

Am I just a reflection?

Do I exist?

I see my reflection.

I feel the wind on my cheek.

I hear my heels clack on the sidewalk.

But how do I know it's real?

How do I know any of this is real?



I caught this image in the mirrored window of a local business. It's Sunday so I hope they were closed.

The white letters in the photo are a poem that someone has stuck to the window - and someone else has unstuck. My sweater has the word "Wi" (why) on it.

Sometimes when I come out of my coffee shop after journaling, my mind stays behind at my little table, still ruminating over those pages which are now safely stowed at my side in my toolbox handbag.

This dress has headed to the donation pile more than once, but this morning I found a rescue and it's now one of my favourite pieces. I put mitten clips on the sides to shorten it which created this interesting pear shape. The knit sweater was also destined for redonation until I chopped it off, hemmed it, and embroidered that kitty head with the sticking-out-tongue on it yesterday. I didn't use a pattern, I just started, and I'm glad I left everything to chance because being raw it feels alive. I started to stitch "Why?" but decided it would be too long and stopped abruptly before I had finished the "H," only to realize that the H arm could transform conveniently into an "i" with the addition of a dot - same word, different spelling. "Wi."

The mitten clips were only 50 cents a pair at my favourite local fabric shop, Dressew. From them I also bought yarn, a bag of 3 balls of odd eyelash black yarn with metallic silver threads, for $3.99, and a pair of metal darning needles for 25 cents.

Those are my cool stripey socks over my cool plaid leggings in dark brown with blue and rust-coloured lines. I had to play with the photo contrast and colour to get that pattern to show even faintly. I brought along my brown wool shawl but didn't need it; my knit top was perfect for this cool sunny day.

Details

• dark brown dress with squiggles, rescued, sample sale
• mitten clips, Dressew, 50 cents, new old stock I presume
• plaid leggings and stripey socks, retail
• black knit skirt worn under dress for warmth and dress-flying-up protection, sample sale
• buttery-soft brown leather ankle boots, thrifted, Value Village, $7 I think (1/2 price day)
• knit top, thrifted, Value Village, upcycled with scissors and yarn

I'd never embroidered with yarn before but the idea of stitching big yarn into loose knits appealed to the slacker sewist in me - you can accomplish a lot in a very short period of time. I'm on a roll now...

My hair has finally taken root in the sense that the white colour feels Right now. Since I had my hair done, the transformation was not sitting well on my head. I think I feel better because I've been experimenting with cosmetics, which has been very exciting. I'll post some photos soon. If only these products would come off my face with as much fun as they go on.

I'm heading to Patti's Visible Monday to see all of you in pixelated reflections. How odd is that? How interesting and great that we can slip into this netherworld of hardware and dots of light.

PS. VOGOFF magazine has put out a call for submissions. Check my previous post for details if you're interested.