Hickory dickory schlock and the crooked hat

THE CROOKED HAT

This is for Judith's Hat Attack 31 linkup at Style Crone, my crooked hat. 

There was a cooked hat perched on a crooked head, 

It stopped the crooked rain with its lime and crooked reds, 

It shielded crooked eyes from crooked evil sights  

And when it got back home it cried, "Take me to New York!"

HICKORY DICKORY SCHLOCK

Hickory Dictory Schlock

Your mouse hued up her frock

The image froze

And wrecked my pose

Hickory Dickory Schlock

I'd been fermenting his mouseover idea for at least 24 hours, and although this resultant draft is not yet 100 proof, it's palatable with drunken overtones of Ghost/Muppet/Meanie and bits of pickle - anything to take the edge off and quench my self-defecating sense of humour. Moving right along...

Note: If you roll your mouse - or whatever else you use - across the above photo, the image should change, hence "mouseover," also known as "rollover." If it doesn't work, clearly you need to upgrade to an older device or drink more of my special brew.

I dressed to match my hair - too lazy to push the hair dryer ON switch. And too lazy to change for my morning walk - this is what I often wear at home.

After I saw my photos, I quickly realized I look exactly like Turnip Head, so I put her in there too. She is also a happy nursery-rhymie yet cynical creature.

I'm wearing a ghastly oversized men's shirt, thrifted, purchased when I was delusional thinking I would upcycle it. Pfff. It's so stiff it makes a crinkling sound. Soft cotton patchwork drawstring pants, oversized long-sleeve orange T-shirt, and reading glasses over my regular glasses with clip-on shades. Holy hot harridan!

And, just when you thought you'd made it to the end of the post, no!! Another few seconds of creepy vexation.

THE BIG FINISH

I made this tiny video message at the end of December. I wasn't going to show you, but why not? I suppose this is to celebrate Chinese New Year, February 8, heh. She is scary cool.

I've found a new favourite British sitcom on Netflix, Black Books, which ran from 2000 to 2004. I use it to de/retox at the end of my work-filled days and get trippy dreams. Watch it! Well, if you want to.

I'm of course linking to Patti at Visible Monday, Not Dead Yet Style, and
Catherine at #iwillwearwhatilike, Not Dressed as Lamb, and
Anne at 52 Pick-me-up: Ink Blue at SpyGirl.
Including Judith's Hat Attack, there nothing like hitting FOUR big parties on Monday morning to kick off the week. I hope I see you there. I'll be the one staggering into the bushes.

Going yin-yang in the alley

Of course I look serious - look where I am: stench alley! Would you look all comfy-cozy, ooo, why-don't-you-come-for-tea, if you were in stench alley? I think not. On top of that, I had to keep one eye on my stuff (five bars of nutritious soap made from goat dairy and grains, and new socks), one eye on traffic (although my shirt was a good substitute cone), and my third eye of loving-goodness-toward-the-universe focused serenely above this quagmire of shite (in all fairness, the alley was relatively clean).

Clearly, my style palate has been cleansed by my previous bout of minimalism. I embraced this assemblage of vitamin D whose yang-y bursts of colour found syncopated harmony in the alley's yin-y concrete squalor. This precision silhouette stance shows you the, uh, silhouette.

I fired the photographer, the traffic coning specialist*, the stylist, the garbage wrangler, and the location scout. I kept the gaffer - I'm really good at gaffes. *that's a real movie biz job, union wages

What on earth am I wearing?

• flagrantly floral thrifted Versace pants
• platform runners on super discount from Topshop (they don't offer so many huge discounts at my local store anymore; yup, they suck you in and then leave you high and dry, high and dry, my friends)
• ruffled twisted citrus thrifted satiny blouse
• magic loupe
• thrifted shaggy green coat
• my serious shady-day cycling sunglasses no longer used for cycling

The sun was like thin gruel off and on today, weak, beige, runny, lacking in nutrients, "Please, sir, can I have some more?" He said, "Eat your soap." Freak.

Almost famous, maybe. It's astounding.

Are you lookin' at me? - said in a De Niro voice from Taxi Driver

This is what I wore on Tuesday, but what I wore MONDAY was waaay more fun and high impact, and while I didn't get it on my camera (oops), it involved a vintage fringed leather vest, my DIY rockstar pants, and Miu Miu thrifted boots. Outta' my way! Where's my driver!? Where's my studio!? Who said lard!?

A man actually chased me down the block wondering who I am (really). No, he wasn't a police officer or from animal control. At least he wasn't wondering who he was either. Eyes popped, jaws dropped, children dropped their lollies and I picked them up and took them. But no photos. 

I need to think of a few snappy film noir come-back lines: "Yeah, mister, ain't cha' never seen no starry-eyed doe with tic-tac-toe painted on her fanny before?" here

Back to Tuesday. That turquoise top up there is Bob Mackie, 100% silk, $12 "as is" because the person pricing it in the thrift shop mistook the random white streaks (barely visible) for a botched wash job. Worn with: thrifted navy side-zip capris, frump shoes, colourful socks, gifted lava pendant (close up here), DIY preying mantis pendant (close-up here), vintage sunglasses, magic loupe from O. Thrifted coat.

This is MY CiTY. 

April 7, 2015. Vancouver, BC: The view on my daily patrol through the streets. Georgia St. heading eastbound near Burrard St. Roger that big buddy, everything A-OK. If you're coming to the July blogger meetup, you'll see this view too, although the cherry blossoms will be gone. The stately building is Fairmont Hotel Vancouver, one of the old architectural gems left standing downtown.

Below, the painted lines on the road and even the shadows seemed to point to these two beautiful women chatting quietly at the intersection of Robson/Burrard. A second later they were swallowed up by a hoard of pedestrians. The Blue Horizon Hotel is on Robson St., just a couple of blocks from here.

That's all. Thanks for the freakish yellow skirt suggestions! 

And now, guess what? It's official:

Bag and a Beret 

is one of the 

:: 7 BEST BLOGS BY OLDER WOMEN ::

At least Nicole Kliest at WhoWhatWear thinks so. So hurrah! Party time. Where's my fermented apple juice...? I thank Nicole here because I needed to be on Facebook, which I'm not, to comment on the actual post.

The article is called: 

Style Wise: The 7 Best Blogs by Older Women 

STYLE TIPS | 04.06.15 by Nicole Kliest 

The others on the list are: Accidental Icon, Le Lettre d'Ines, Not Dead Yet Style, Not Dressed as Lamb, Style Crone, Une Femme D'Un Certain Age. Gulp. What a huge honour it is to be included among these formidable women. If you're a new follower, hello! And thanks, Patti (Not Dead Yet Style), for including a photo of me taken by Nalidsa Sukprasent on your Facebook page. 

Today's outfit, Wednesday: thrifted maxi robe, which I drastically downsized, but it still has 90 buttons! Previously worn here unresized. I had a wonderful chat with a man who commented on my style today. Hi! in case you stop by. He has worn black pants and a white shirt for years and years, today as well, but he certainly has an arresting personality.

(If I smile, it will spoil the bad-assery of the shades.)

Hoping you're all having a stellar week!

Don't choke on my pith

I'm possessed by my granny shoes. But don't call the exorcist because I like it.

In action again below, in high def.

Dump trucks, grass, parkade signs, street lines, construction vests, insects, flowers, and rain - these are a few of My Favourite Things when I wear this lemon rind. The inner pith of linen, silk, and what-the-heck-is-that fabric would make you choke a smile. 

I'm an elusive creature these days, dodging out of frames and sidestepping stills. The motion picture works best at capturing my current emotional voice, although soon I suspect I'll be doing talkies too. 

Clothing

• neon yellow robe, retail sale
• linen jacket with big buttons from schmancy store (Moule), gift certificate, big sale
• vastly oversized teal silk blouse worn backwards, vintage, from friend's time-sealed treasure chest 
• sleeveless rust-coloured side-slitted dress, thrifted
• blue capri pants, same length as dress, with brown silk cuff, thrifted.
• patterned brown socks made in Italy, extravagant retail
• granny oxford shoes, thrifted
• granny bag from Singapore, gift for plant-sitting
• tool box handbag, from O
• magic loupe, from O

I've been asked about my video software. It's called VideoPad Video Editor (mine's for Windows) by the company NCH. It's easy to use - there is a tutorial - and it has many special features. I bought it after test-driving the free trial. This is not a paid endorsement (I wish!). I record the raw footage with my regular camera. 

Personally, I've needed this exploration to renew my process and stave off stagnation; what you see is my evolution from square one (thanks for your patience). I'm curious about where this will lead; I like not knowing.Would you ever consider making a little video clip for your blog? I've been very inspired by the clips and animated gifs I've seen on some of your blogs already.