Wednesday, 1 April 2015

Fake life imitates art in a fake life, and Hat Attack! Second try...


Oops, I deleted my whole post by mistake. So... 
NOW I'M REDOING IT!!! THAT'S MY DISRUPTION!!!!
Wearing thrifted mustard muppet coat, thrifted hard-worn tie-dyed cotton top, thrifted stretch tartan skinny jeans, black glitter platform shoes, thrifted silk scarf. Kitty is wearing whatever he likes. I don't remember what caused the disruption (yeah, because I have a new one) - probably a screaming child - but I do remember tearing down the highway in Kitty's red Bugatti before we hightailed it back to Carnegie Hall for his concert. Good times, friends.
Hello harlots - Today I unveil the newest trend which I, moi, have created in my genius-infected brain. Since my fired incompetent assistant Enid is locked in VOGOFF's closet, she pathetically failed to escape and restock my hair products. What choice did I have but to hang upside-down for this photo to achieve hair volume? The Boys are on their way over with the inversion harness on wheels, a hoist, and a truck to take me shopping. I call this "Eco Hair" - volume without the mess. When I think of all nature's precious and usually cute creatures I am saving by hanging upside-down and not using nasty, vile hair products I shudder and a tear escapes my eye and rolls into my eyebrow. My processional route is sterilized in advance but you unfortunates can use Eco Hair to sweep your floors and those little pennies that get stuck in your tangles may help you with the groceries. Poor dears. Ba-bye! Miz Bagg, Your Bagness.
I thought it would be fun to imitate Anne's awesome sketch of Miz Bagg that she posted at Spy Girl so I hung upside down off the table because, seriously, I didn't want to put product in my hair. Not comfortable - product or pose! I had to run and fling on a 10-sec timer. My sunglasses, the biggest pair I have, kept falling up over my forehead - not a usual problem. The dress, though, is divine, a thrifted maxi, made in France, wool/mohair blend with sparkly gold-thread serging and an elegant hoodie hanging up by my ear. I am using the hoodie as a poor excuse to join Judith's Hat Attack 21 at Style Crone. Thanks, Judith!
The view from my coffee shop, one of Vancouver's most upscale clothing department stores, Holt Renfrew:
"ARE YOU AN CON: Legendary moments await." I thought, what an interesting campaign, even though they got the "an" wrong, until I realized that the "I" was concealed by the light post. Boring after all.
So my upside-down photo is life imitating my fake life imitating art imitating Anne's fake life in her fake journal. I love the fake journal project Anne does, and how thrilled I was to see that she had incorporated Her Supreme Betchness in her story of Enid. Thank you, Anne. You have revived Miz Bagg! I look forward to more of Enid's adventures. Tee hee.
And - "What? More jeans? Stop! Stop already!" Blame it on the runners. I have been enjoying the fleet-footed freedom of these shoes, the knowledge that I could bolt at the drop of a chocolate - to catch it before it hits the ground. The words alone - sneakers, runners - conjure up dusty playgrounds, monkey bars and squeaks on gym floors.

These are my thrifted black jeans, $5, thrifted black blazer that fits like a glove, $5, thrifted man's shirt, more than $5, scribbled-on thrifted sneakers, colourful Harlequin socks, retail, and of course my magic loupe from O. A neighbour said I looked boyish in this. Coltish is good too. Not to be confused with the old grey mare. Or mutton. Or any other farm animal. Although I am good at bull.

Thanks for all your comments in my last post about IG. Lots to think about. Also, I'm not ready to give up on blogging.

PS If you have published and then accidentally lost a post, search for it online and you will find the cache that you can copy. Whew!


27 comments:

  1. I love your zany photos! You are the coolest- LOVE the upside down hair (that's the way I used to blowdry my hair and liked it big and bushy!) x

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  2. Love the shoes. There's nothing wrong with jeans and trainers. It's actually a remarkable freedom to discover after giving up difficult shoes for them a few days a week.

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  3. "The Boys are on their way over with the inversion harness on wheels" -- forgive me if my mind went elsewhere than hair products : o

    I love Enid's adventures too - it's grand to have several lives to live, yeah? xox

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  4. Hooray for Anne's kiss-of-life, Miz Bagg wins at bull and Hat Attack and Eco-Hair! Legendary moments are HERE, people. Love your grinnin, sneakerin, blazerin dealio. xo

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  5. Loving the jeans!! I'm having a jean moment myself... They're just so damn easy to wear!

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  6. Best upside-down photo ever!

    It's hard to believe but I don't own one single pair of jeans. I can't find any that fit properly and the old ones are gone. It's one of the hardest items to miss in a wardrobe!

    You look great in the black jeans and that fantastic jacket. Hair is fantastic too :-D

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  7. [Enid] WHAT? I've been FIRED????? Then what am I doing in this fekkin CLOSET???? LET ME OOOOOUT!!!!! Today is sponsored by the word B (rhymes with itch). Couldn't comment sooner Because I have no Bandwidth.

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  8. Only you would manage to take a selfie upside down! LOL I'd probably have broken my neck doing that. Can you imagine winding up at the Emerg and the Dr. asks, "how did this happen?" "

    "blogging"

    Sad. So sad.

    bisous
    Suzanne

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  9. Blogger is very good at auto-saving - you just check under Posts for the draft. :)

    I love your upside-down look! Fabulous! I think Holt's is a CON. I've thrifted Holt's for less than the cost of that paint.

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  10. How does someone look cool both in an upside down selfie AND wearing jeans and sneakers? Not fair, I'd look such a twat if I tried either...
    Never lost a blog post yet, but there's a first time for everything! xxx

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  11. I didn't think it was you in the upside down photo at first. The lips threw me off ;) Of course we appreciate you risking life and limb to get the photo.

    I have a few pairs of coloured jeans that I like wearing and of course you know how I love my Converse (in fact, I am wearing my purple madras plaid pair right now)

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  12. Thanks you. Yes, I once deleted an entire post. It made me cry. I love your clothes today, you pull off "elegant" very well. I, too, thrifted jeans yesterday: vintage Levi's flares, $5. And a Burberry trench coat for my son. So today I am calm and happy, Zen!

    I also love being called harlot.

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  13. Ah yes, Blogger is stellar at auto-saving but not when you press REVERT TO DRAFT which I erroneously thought meant revert to draft state in which I opened the existing page but in fact means BLANK PAGE!!! At least there is a cache version online even though it is only a screen shot and you have to retype and repost the images. I look idiotic at Hat Attack with 2 identical photos side by side because one page says it doesn't exist, and the other works okay. Very embarrassing. Grasshopper is wiser today than last week.

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  14. I loved your upside down portrait! I'd never guess. But no wonder I couldn't recognize you. Now I'm curious what I would look like upside down. :)

    Love the outfit and Anne's portrait - and the sketch of you with Kitty is amazing!

    If you quit blogging, I will feel sad. xxx

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  15. Geez, I stay away from social media for a couple weeks and the whole world turns upside down! Great idea for volumizing your hair - and getting rid of wrinkles and saggy skin, too. As if your coltish skin sags.

    Now I have to go read your previous posts (like I wasn't going to do that anyway) and see what all this nonsense is about not blogging. And then off to see Enid's journal and maybe try to get her job.

    In Britain, sneakers/runners are called trainers. Ugh, I don't want to be trained!

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  16. you look lovely! and yes, more jeans on you!

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  17. This harlot is thrilled! Two Melanies, with major hair volume, appeared on Hat Attack! Nothing like this has ever happened before. Miracles do happen!

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  18. You're not even able to look boring dressed in a black jacket, jeans and sneakers. You look like a rockstar!

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  19. I wondered what was going on when I clicked on your link and nothing happened. How bizarre, but at least I know how to handle it if it ever dares to happen to me, hang upside down and viola!
    Love the sketch of you and kitty cat and yep, you look ace in jeans! xxx

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  20. Oh my gaahd, 'eco hair' is going to be HUGE on the catwalks, just huge darling. We'll all remember where we heard about it first...

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  21. The challenge with Eco Hair is getting about while remaining upside down. A little bit of cornstarch run through your hair is still fairly eco and will give you most excellent Bride of Frankenstein locks should you want them. I do love your jeans/jacket and sneaks combination. You look quite able to outrun any chocolate. xoxo

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  22. I absolutely did not recognise you upside down. Because of those moving sunglasses I suppose. But your nose looks different too. I like your jeanslook. I am currentky hooked on sneakers too. So comfy.
    Greetje

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  23. a lot of eggnog-choco-eggs eh ;-)
    did i say that i love your writing? i say it again. love it!
    xxxxx

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  24. Hello hello Melanie!
    You know what your upside down photograph reminded me of? I remember reading/hearing years ago that if you draped your head off of your bed and then moved it up and down it was supposed to help with your neck staying 'slim and young'. Bah! The headache I got from being upside down trumped any slimming/youthful effects of the exercise, and after one or two attempts, I gave up.
    Also looking at photos of people's faces upside down (not like yours because you's, even upside down is right side up in the photo - and is very cool) freaks the hell out of me. Okay I'll shut up now! x

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  25. I'm kinda stoked that I have very similar sunglasses. Hahaha. I have no f*cking idea how to wear them, though. Hehe. I really love that first photo. Oh and that last photo. You're full of surprises, madam! I never know what you're going to do. I like that. :D

    - Anna

    www.melodicthriftychic.com

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  26. Isn't it freeing to being wearing sneaks around town! Next thing, you'll be wearing yoga pants!!! Seriously, I love this look and your previous look. Um...you have a svelte body under the faux fur dahling! Now...don't go running for cover just 'cause I said that!

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  27. The ad campaign: Boring after all. You: Always interesting!

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